Disclaimer: Ah, so bored... Here's something I did between work. (By work I mean school.) Enjoy...


"Ah...I am...a killer. My black stained hands bare the crimson blood of my fallen victims. Oh, how soundly it is when all my targets are silenced and I am left alone in that deafening scene..." A lad was saying in a desert camouflage gear with a notable tan balaclava covering the lower portion of his face.

Ghost just looked on at the bugger not quite sure what to say. He turned to Soap who was passing by, eating Twinkies and was also disturbed by his subordinate.

"What's wrong with him this time?" Ghost asked as the balaclava clad lad was staring off in the distance spewing out shit that sounded like it was from an emotional teenager diary.

"Don't know, he's been like that all morning. Maybe he's ill in the head after all." Soap carelessly said as he smoked on a cigarette. Then the lad turned his head without his body moving like from some kind of creepy film.

"Hello Master." Roach said in a dull voice.

Soap just grumbled and felt his pockets to see how many he went through in the last hour.

4.

He then breathed heavily before correcting the bug. "Roach it's sir. For the last time quit confusing them."

"SORRY SIR." Roach said defiantly before turning to Ghost as if seeing someone new and turned around looking at the sky in a zombie like state again.

"Your boyfriend's cute."

This made the captain so shocked he actually breathed so quickly that the cigarette he was smoking inverted back and was choking heavily.

"S-Sir! Let me help you-" Ghost instinctively moved behind him to perform the Heimlich maneuver but Soap holding out his palm to the man.

"Not...NOW."

"Sir, please by all means, don't act like a girl. Just let me..." The lieutenant tried to reach around the arm as Roach just stared in mild amusement.

"BLEGH!" Soap finally coughed up the object and threw it to the ground. He spat for a minute or two and looked at Roach.

"Okay laddie, what's wrong?" Ghost asked, also worried about the young soldier.

"Oh, nothing is wrong. I wonder if the postman from this morning is on his way to hell? That's where he belongs along with that shit for brains next to you. You really think that fucking skull ski mask is cool? Don't make me laugh. You have some kind of emotional past or something?" Roach coldly said this and waited for a response.

Soap just looked sternly on and then understood what was going on while Ghost was just ready to punch him. "Wait a minute." He motioned for Ghost and proceeded to talk with Roach. "Roach, is this about that package you ordered?"

Roach finally stopped looking up and returned Soap's stare. "Yes. The wonderful package. It is essential that Roach gets it. I NEED IT. Yes."

"I think you may have an addiction there." Soap replied as Ghost was looking back and forth what package was so important that it made Roach so damn annoying.

"Well, that is your lowly opinion. I on the other hand thinks you are an idiot who smokes out his lungs. How's that for an addiction?"

"Touche, but you don't see me acting as crazy as a nut." Soap answered as he held his cigarette with his middle finger showing the most.

"AHAHAHA, nut. Is that the best you can come up with?" Roach started laughing uncontrollably as the two just stared at each other in awkward silence. Then what appeared to be a recruit from the same task force was running towards them with a handcart stacked with packages and stopped.

"Good afternoon sirs, I am Ozone if you wanted to know my name,um, is a Gary 'Roach' Sanderson' here?" He asked as a very indifferent Roach quickly stopped laughing at once and stared at the delivery man.

"That would be me." He said in a creepy tone that even made the messenger drop his clipboard from surprise, who then quickly picked it up and cleared his throat.

"Ahh, well I was late and I have your package..." He picked off a rather large box that made Roach's eyes sparkle.

"If you can just sign for-" He held out the clipboard that was snatched by the madman and quickly signed it.

"Alright well, you sirs have a nice day and-"

"Wait a moment."

Ozone hesitated as Roach proceeded to hug the guy whilst confessing his love that made the deliveryman cringe in fear and disgust and Soap drop his cigarette along with Ghost who kicked a nearby electric pole in rage causing a rather large dent in it.

"What took you so long?" Roach asked in a deep tone as the two watching soldiers were at a loss for words.

"...Um, traffic?" Ozone replied before getting in an even tighter embrace.

"Ahh traffic. Just KILL them next time then, okay?" Roach sighed.

"S-Sure...Can I go now?" Ozone asked now clearly spooked out and wanted to go ASAP as the balaclava clad man let go.

"Well, I'll let you go but remember I'll if you're late again..." He growled at the end of this sentence and held up a red nylon string that was at least 5 feet long.

"O-Of course sir! I have more packages to deliver so excuse me!" He placed the clipboard hurriedly on the handcart securely and ran off with the handcart instead of walking as he did earlier.

"Isn't that at least 90 kg worth of packages?" Soap observed at the speeding man.

"I believe so..." Ghost answered as Roach ripped through the packaging like a zombie through a corpse.

"MY ROCKSTAR! 3" Roach quickly opened the package and took one out instantly, chugging it down.

"...Roach...is that you?" Soap hesitantly asked as the lad smiled back.

"Yep, hey guys. Wanna play cards?" Roach asked briskly.

Exchanging looks they just gave up and went along with the lad but both swore never to be around when he hasn't had his rockstar. Ever.

"Sure Roach, let's play." Ghost replied as they set up game.


Notes- This just came into my head about how I gave Roach that Rockstar addiction.