Because you love me

John has been having a really rough time lately with everything that has been happening. His love life had been falling apart due to his feelings on marriage and kids. First things between him and Nikki didn't work out the second time around it was the same argument about marriage and kids. He never really saw himself as a father type. And as for the marriage thing after everything that he went through with Liz he didn't want to have to go through it ever again. He was content on being single. And even thought about loving someone he knew he could never have. It was so wrong for him to even think about him like that. They were both straight and were married at one time. But he knew that if there was one person he could trust with his heart it was him. He realized that while married to Liz that he was Bi and had feeling for his best friend. But he needed to keep that to himself for it would ruin his friendship and most likely his relationship with his parents. Then he meant Nikki and sure they worked together but they made it work they were so happy. He even was ready to move on to new things with here. He had asked her to move in to his Tampa home hoping to make it just that a real home. But then everything changed when her sister got engaged to Bryan. Nikki started on the whole marriage thing and then moved on to kid's things that he thought they talked about before and he made clear he didn't want. They had broken up and they were apart for about two months before he realized he wanted to try again. So he flew out to San Diego and called her up to have her meet him. After a long talk the two had figured that they could give one another a second chance. Things were going great he was just getting back into the groove of thing after having his elbow surgery. He was to be out four to six months but he was back after three months away. The one thing he never expected was to have his best friend show up at his door just mere weeks after getting back into his relationship with Nikki. He was sitting in his room in Randy's St. Louis home for they were in Randy's home town. Nikki and he had just broken up again just two months after getting back together. He jumped at the chance to spend time with his best friend and his niece. He was so happy that he was so close to Randy that he allowed his little girl to call him Uncle Johnny. After breaking up with Nikki again John started to let the walls come down around his heart and was falling more and more in love with Randy. He remembered the conversation like it was yesterday when Randy through his world and his heart for a loop.

John was sitting in his living room watching a Boston Celtics game on his rare three days off. He was so glad to be home and able to just relax. Nikki was in San Diego with Brie doing stuff for Brie and Bryan's wedding. Just as the game went to half time his doorbell rang. He got up and walked to the door to find none other than Randy. The two of them haven't hung out in almost three months. John was worried about his friend he's been really weird lately.

"Hey Ran what's up? I thought you were going back to see Ally?" John asked as he let him in.

"I am ok I guess. And Ally is at camp this week. So I figured that I come and hang with my best friend. I seem to remember you said Nikki was with Brie in San Diego." Randy said

"Yeah she is. You want a beer I am watching a Celtics game." John said

"Sure man beer sound good." Randy said as John headed to the kitchen and grabbed himself and Randy a beer and went back in the living room. There he saw Randy fidgeting with his keys. John has known Randy for well over ten years and he knows when something is bothering the younger man.

"Here you go man. So what did you want to do these three days?" John asked

"Um well Cody and Ted found out that Ally was at camp and tried to get me to go back to Georgia but I lied to them and told them that we were hanging out. But if you want I can leave." Randy said

"No you will do no such thing you are always welcome here Ran." John said as Randy started to pick the wrapper of the beer bottle. John sat on the couch and continued to watch the game the two chit chatted about their family and friends.

"So how are things going with you and Nikki?" Randy asked John was caught off guard if anyone had known the whole thing that happened between him and Nikki it was Randy.

"Um… things are still a bit tense she still brings up the whole marriage and kids issue." John said

"She is still on you about that. She is a great women and you're lucky to have someone to share your life with." Randy said

"Ok I was going to let it go but something is bothering you. Talk to me you know you can talk to me about anything." John said

"Yeah I know it is part of the reason I came here. Besides needing to talk I wanted to hang with my best friend." Randy said

"Well I am here whenever you're ready." John said as he watched as Randy got up and walked over to the window looking out at the pool. John walked over and put his hand on to Randy's shoulder. John felt him stiffen up as he laid his hand upon him.

"Johnny if I tell you something will you promise to hear me out before you freak out and say that you hate me?" Randy asked

"Ran you can tell me anything. There is nothing you can tell me that would make me freak out or make me hate you. Ran I love you, you are my best friend." John said as he saw the look in Randy's eyes. He looked frightened and scared it was making him think the worst possible thing in the world.

"I love you too man, you are the only one I know I can trust with this. After Sam and I got divorced I realized that there was something missing in my life. I mean I have the love of my family and my little girl I couldn't ask for more. But I have finally come to the conclusion that I have always pushed it away." Randy said as he walked and sat down on the couch.

"Randy I know what you mean before Liz and I got divorced I felt like something was missing. And after it was all said and done I realized that there was some part of me that…" John stopped as Randy turned to his best friend and smiled.

"Johnny please let me finish. I know for a fact that I…I am Bi." Randy said as John stood there thinking about everything he was feeling when he and Liz got divorced.

"Randy it is ok if your Bi there is nothing that can change the relationship that we have. You are always going to be my best friend. I'll let you in on a secret what I was saying before Liz and I divorced I too realized I was Bi. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I am cool with it we are in the same boat." John said as the two friends finished there beers and the game.

John was lost in his thoughts when he heard the knock at his door. Randy had his family over and they thought of John like another son. He was very grateful that they looked to him as family and he could be here without feeling weird about being there. He loved Randy's parents just as much as he loved his own, as well as Becky and Nate they were just like a brother and sister to him.

"Come in." John said as the door opened and in pop a small head.

"Hi Uncle Johnny." Alanna said as John got up and knelt to the floor and opened his arms.

"Hey Ally Cat how are you." John said as the little girl wrapped her arms around his shoulder and giggled at his nickname for her.

"I am good, I missed you. When daddy said you were coming to stay with him I was happy. I love you Uncle Johnny." Alanna said

"I love you too Ally Cat. And I have missed you too. But I am hoping that I'll come home with your daddy and visit you more." John said

"What about you and Nikki. You have to spend time with her too." Alanna said as John looked at the five year old girl and smiled. She was so smart for her age and she always got to the bottom of things.

"Ally Cat, Nikki and me well we are no longer together. She wanted something from me that I am not sure that I can give her." John said

"Like what you a great guy Uncle Johnny and you have a big heart. You love me as if I was your own like daddy does." Alanna said as John held on tightly to this little girl. He did love her and her father so much but he was scared to risk everything.

"Yes I love you and your father very much. You both mean so much to me." John said as there was another knock on the door. It opened slowly and in walked Randy himself.

"How are my two favorite people?" Randy asked

"Were good Daddy." Alanna said as Randy sat on the bed next to the two of them.

"So are you two ready to eat?" Randy asked

"Yep, come Uncle Johnny you can sit next to me." Alanna said

"I will come sit next to you Ally Cat but can I talk to your dad a minute?" John asked

"Yep see you down there." Alanna said as she left the room and left John and Randy together.

"So Johnny what is on your mind? I can tell something is wrong?" Randy asked

"Well I was sitting here thinking about four months ago, when you showed up to my house and told me your secret. And I told you not to worry about it that I was in the same boat. There is something else that I have to tell you that has been bugging me." John said as Randy turned to look at his best friend.

"Johnny you can tell me anything. I will always be here for you. I love you man you are family." Randy said as John got up and walked to the window and looked out at the snow that covered most of Randy's yard.

"I love you too. More than I should, I mean you have been there for me through everything as I have for you. There wasn't a time that I hadn't loved you. I mean the walls that I have built up around my heart when everything happened with me and Liz there was one person who was able to break them down. And that person was you. I can't keep pushing these feeling away anymore so I know that if you want me to leave I will but…" John stopped unable to get the rest of the words out the lump stuck in his throat was over powering him. He was ready to bolt when he felt a hand to turning him around to face Randy. Before he knew what was going on he saw Randy lick his lips and then he felt the softness of Randy's lips on his. Randy put his hand on John's waist and pulled him close to him as he deepened the kiss. The two of them were so caught up in there kiss that they forgot that they needed to breath. John reluctantly pulled away from the most intense kiss of his life.

"I don't want you to leave. I love you too Johnny so much. I have done nothing but think about you since the night I told you I was Bi. I would love if you would allow me the chance to love you like you deserve to be loved." Randy said with his arms still wrapped around John's waist holding him close to him. John smiled for the first time since he made the decision that he was going to tell Randy that he loved him.

"Only if I can show you that you deserve just as much. There is just one thing I ask if it's not too much?" John asked

"Ask away I'll do anything for you Johnny." Randy said as John looked down and then up in to the most amazing eyes so loving and caring.

"Promise me that we'll never lie to one another, that we'll always tell each other the truth. I can't handle being lied to again?" John asked

"I promise that I will never lie to you, I love you Johnny with everything that I have and more." Randy said

"And I promise you that I will never lie to you either I know we have both been burned with lies and I don't want that to happen with us." John said

"Me either. I hate to do this but how about we go eat dinner with the family and I'll talk to mom and dad and see if they'll take Ally home with them tonight so we can talk some more?" Randy asked

"No let her stay I really miss her as I know you do too." John said "Just one more thing what about telling your family there bound to pick up on this."

"We'll see what happens and if they do then we'll say something. My parents know that I am Bi I told them after telling you. Telling you gave me the courage to tell them the truth. So if they do ask then if you are ok with it we'll tell them." Randy said

"I am ok with it. I love your parents and your siblings." John said

"Good I know it's probably too soon but I have felt this way for so long. Johnny I love you." Randy said as he placed a simple kiss to John's lips.

"It's not too soon. Cause I love you too Ran." John said as he kissed Randy's neck leaving a trail to his ear.

"God. Now come on Johnny let's go see our family." Randy said as the two smiled and made their way down stairs and found them all sitting at the table waiting on them. John went and sat next to Alanna while Randy went and sat on the other side of his daughter.

"Bout time you two come down. I thought I was going to have to come get you myself." Elaine said

"Sorry Mama, I needed to talk to Randy about something very important. I couldn't keep it hidden anymore." John said

"We'll it seems all is well then, so let's eat." Bob said as they all sat there and ate there dinner and talked about everything and anything. From John and Randy's work life to Nate and his MMA career to Becky and her new boyfriend who the family has yet to meet. To Alanna starting pre-k after the Thanksgiving break. Everything was going great till Nate brought up John and Nikki.

"So John what is going on with you and Nikki?" Nate asked

"Um Nikki and I haven't been together for almost two months now. It wasn't working out. Beside I couldn't fully fall in love with her when my heart was elsewhere." John said

"Now you are starting to sound like Randy here. He won't date anyone either for someone holds his heart." Becky said as she looked to Alanna who was giggling as she looked to her father and Uncle. She turned in her chair and looked to her Uncle and smiled as she took his hand.

"Did you tell Daddy?" Alanna asked as everyone looked to Randy and then back to John to see what Alanna was talking about.

"Ally sweetie what are you talking about?" Elaine asked as John looked over to Randy and then back to Alanna of course she was the one who would figure it out.

"Um, mom dad I told you three months ago that I was Bi and you two said you would accept it if I found someone. What I didn't tell you was that there was already someone that had my heart." Randy said

"You were in love with John." Nate said

"Yeah I am, and he loves me too." Randy said as all eyes then ended up on John as he smiled.

"I have known since before Liz and I divorced that I was Bi and that I had a thing for Randy. I never said anything due to the fact I never wanted to lose his friendship. Then I found Nikki and I thought things were going great till Randy showed up on my door step to tell me he was Bi. That's when everything changed again for me. And Nikki and I just didn't work. I couldn't love her when I didn't have my heart to give for it was already Randy's." John said

"That's why it took you so long to come down after Alanna came down." Bob said

"Yes Dad." Randy said

"So does this mean you too are a couple now?" Alanna asked looking from her Father and Uncle. John and Randy knew that this was what they wanted and who better than there family knowing first. Randy reached over and took John's hand into his and intertwined then fingers.

"Yeah we are." John said as Becky smiled as she squealed jumping up and ran around the table and hugged her brother and John.

"I am happy for you too." Becky said

"Me too Bro and John that means you too." Nate said

"Thanks guys." Randy said as he looked over to his parents.

"Son, I meant what I said. I have and always accepted you for who you are. I am happy for you and John." Bob said hugging both boys letting them know he was going to be there for them.

"As am I. I am so glad that both my boys are happy. John I love you like you are my own. I am glad that you are the one who loves my son, he loves you a lot." Elaine said

"I am happy too. At least I'll know that Daddy won't be unhappy anymore when he's traveling. Cause he'll have Uncle Johnny." Alanna said

"Ally baby are you sure you're ok with Uncle Johnny and I being together. I mean your mom is probably gonna freak out." Randy said as he picked his little girl up and pulled her into his lap and slid into the chair next to John. John took no time at all wrapping his arm around Randy and holding him close.

"I don't care as long as you two are happy. Then I am happy. If mommy doesn't like it then tough she doesn't have a say in you and Uncle Johnny's lives." Alanna said

"I love you Ally." Randy said as he kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly.

"Hey Ally Cat I meant what I said earlier too. I love you so much I would do anything for you." John said Alanna crawled out of her father's lap and into John's and hugged him.

"Aww so sweet. You three look like that perfect little family." Becky said

"One thing John. I know you have had this issue before but are you ready to be a father?" Elaine asked as John held on to Alanna thinking about what was just asked. He never wanted kids, hell couldn't see himself as a father, and after everything Liz and Nikki he now knew why. John wasn't meant to have a family with either one of them. He was always meant to be a family with Randy and Alanna.

"You know I never imagined myself as a father. But yeah I can, I never could see myself having a family with them when I wanted a family with Ran. So I am defiantly ready to be a second Dad to Ally Cat." John said

"Does that mean I can call you daddy John now?" Alanna asked

"Whoo there kiddo let's give Uncle Johnny and Daddy some time together and then maybe…" Bob started as Randy cut him off.

"No Dad if it's ok only if John says so then by all mean's its ok with me." Randy said as John looked around the table he already called Bob and Elaine, Mama and Pop and Nate and Becky were Bro and Sis. And they thought of him as another son as well as a brother to Nate and Becky.

"It's fine by me Ally Cat only if you want to. But you and your daddy are going to have to help me with the whole Daddy thing." John said

"We will, Daddy and I will teach you everything you need to know about being great Daddy." Alanna said as she wrapped her arms around John's neck.

"Well now this week couldn't have been a better week. John are you staying for Thanksgiving?" Bob asked

"Um Yeah. My brothers are all going to their in-laws and my parents are on a well-deserved second honeymoon." John said

"Well you are welcome at our home anytime. With or without Randy you understand me." Elaine said

"Yes Mama." John said as Becky, Alanna and Elaine started clean up as the boys went into the living room to relax. John was feeling more and more at ease now that everything was out in the open with Randy and his family. Everything was now right with his life his parents knew about his heart's desire as did a two of his brother's. Randy sat on the loveseat and pulled John down next to him wrapping his arm around him. The three of them sat there just relaxing as the women finished up in the kitchen. After about an hour they joined the guys in the living room. Alanna walked over to her two dad's and crawled up in between them.

"Guys I am going to get going I have to pick Michael at the airport. I'll see you all Thursday. Ally I love you princess. And Ran I am so happy for you I am so glad to see you smile again. And John welcome to this crazy family." Becky said as she hugged her niece and then her two brother's.

"Yeah I am with her I have to be up early tomorrow I have an interview at 8am so I am going to catch some sleep. Bye Princess. And Randy, John I am so happy for you both." Nate said as the two siblings left.

"Look boys we are going to get going. I have a lot to do tomorrow to get things ready for Thursday." Elaine said as she and Bob got ready to leave.

"Grandma, can I go home with you tonight and help you tomorrow?" Alanna asked

"I would love to have your help?" Elaine said

"Ally did you ask your dad's first?" Bob said

"Daddy's please can I go. You two need time and I'll be back tomorrow." Alanna said

"Sure Ally. I love you baby." Randy said as he hugged his daughter tightly.

"I love you too daddy." Alanna said as she crawled into John's lap.

"Hey Ally Cat you don't have to go." John said

"But I want too. I love you daddy." Alanna said

"I love you too Ally Cat." John said as she hugged John and then got up to go with her dad to get her stuff for tonight. John was left alone with Randy's parents he has never felt so out of place with Randy's parents till this moment.

"John really are you that scared to be alone with us after all these years?" Bob asked

"No never I love you two so much you are like second parents to me. I guess it's just now that Ran and I admitted our feeling it's…" John stopped

"Johnathan Felix Anthony you stop all the foolishness right now. You have always been family like another son. And now you are dating our son and nothing has changed. We still love you and nothing is going to change." Elaine said

"Except if you hurt our son and granddaughter they'll never fine you." Bob said with a stern look as John paled.

"Robert Keith, stop that right now you will do no such thing." Elaine said sternly looking at her husband.

"Honey I was just kidding. John I love you son and I am so happy that the man that Randy loves is you. I couldn't have chosen a better partner for my son. Just promise me you'll always love him." Bob said as John smiled at the thought of always loving Randy.

"Pop I have always loved Randy from the first time I meant him…" John started but stopped as he wasn't sure if he should tell them before telling Randy.

"Johnny its ok you don't have to explain anything. Just as long as you love our son and granddaughter that's all we can ask for. I love you." Elaine said as she got up and sat next to him and hugged him tightly.

"Same here John I was just messing with you I can see it in your eyes how much you love them." Bob said as he too got up and hugged his wife and John.

Randy and Alanna both came down the stairs to find the three of them huddled in a hug. Randy held his daughter is his arms as they watched the three just sat there.

"Daddy are you happy now that Daddy John loves you?" Alanna asked quietly as to not disturb them.

"Yeah I have loved him since I first meant him. But it has grown so much over the years. And like with you I can't imagine my life without you. And now I can't see my life without him in it either." Randy said

"Good cause I am happy that he make you happy and you make him happy. The three of us will be a happy little family." Alanna said as the two were so caught up in there little conversation they didn't see that the John had left the hug on the couch and walked to Randy and Alanna and wrapped them both in his arms.

"That sound really good to me Ally Cat." John said "Cause I can't see my life without you or your daddy in it. You two are my whole world now."

"Ok Ally let's get a move on it's almost your bed time." Bob said as Randy put her down after she hugged her daddy's again.

"Ok Boy's we'll see you tomorrow." Elaine said

"Bye Mom, Dad I love you." Randy said as he hugged his parents.

"Bye Sweet heart and I love you too." Elaine said

"Bye son and cognates again. Don't let this one get away." Bob said as Randy wrapped his arm around John's waist and smiled.

"Don't plan on it." Randy said as they watched as the three of them left leaving the two of them alone for the first time. Randy continued to hold John close to him turning him around in his arms. John wrapped his arms around Randy's neck and leaned up and kissed him.

"Ran I know that this is all new to us both. But I don't want to hold back I love you and I need to tell you something." John said as Randy guided him over to the couch and made sure that the two of them were comfortable.

"Johnny I love you so much, and nothing you say can ever change that. I will go as slow or as fast as you want." Randy said

"I told you that I was Bi before Liz and I divorced. What I didn't tell you was that it was one of the two main reasons behind the divorce." John said as he looked down to the arms wrapped around his waist holding him close to Randy's chest.

"What was the other reason?" Randy whispered in to John's ear.

"You. It's always been you." John said as the arms wrapped around him suddenly let him go and he felt the tears start to build up so he put his head down. Randy cupped John's face and lifted it up so he could look into his eyes, there he saw the tears taking his thumbs he wiped them away.

"Johnny, I don't know what to say. I mean I never thought that…I mean I feel bad for breaking up your marriage." Randy said

"No Ran I didn't tell you this to make you feel guilty. I told you because I wanted to be honest with you about my feelings. I couldn't love Liz the way she deserved cause, in my heart I already loved you. But you had Sam and I knew that I needed to move on and I got with Liz. Only I couldn't get over my feelings for you no matter how much I tried. I was so scared of losing your friendship that I rather have you as my friend then not at all. But knowing that you love me just as much as I love you. This is where I have always wanted to be and where I want to stay forever." John said as Randy was shocked he knew how John felt about the whole kids and marriage thing because he's talked about it with him. But now listing to him talk about wanting to stay with Randy forever and being another Dad to Ally he wondered if this was the end of them both. That they could be each other's end game. Randy smiled as the thoughts that were running in his mind.

"Johnny I love you and I am so damn happy that you love me too and as long as we are telling the truths. You too are the main reason behind me and Sam's divorce. I may have moaned out your name a few times both dreaming about you and me together and while Sam and I were together." Randy said

"Wow I can do you one better I sort of told Liz that she could never be what I needed cause what I need was you. I meant it back then and I mean it now. All I need in my life is you and Ally that's it." John said

"You two are all I need as well. Come on handsome let's go up to bed. I could use a few more hours of kissing your lips and exploring your amazing body." Randy said

"Oh sound fun. I am all for exploring the apex predator." John said

"Well I am so damn amazing Babe." Randy said

"So full of yourself. But that's what I love about you." John said as he pulled Randy in for an intense kiss then pulling away. Randy was now more than ever to go as far as John wanted to go. The two tuned off all the light and set the alarm as they headed to bed. Randy was very excited about exploring this new part of his life. Randy held on to John's hand guiding him to his room hoping that he wasn't rushing John. Turning on the light and the radio in the bed room Randy wanted to take everything slowly. John was watching as Randy was turning down the bed as a song started to play. He was never one for dancing but the song was perfect. John walked to Randy and turned him around and wrapped his arms around him as they started to move to the beat of the music.

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through, through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

"I love you John so much, I am so happy you are here with me now." Randy said

"I love you too Ran. I don't want to be anywhere but here with you." John said as the two leaned in to a very passionate kiss.

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

John reached down and pulled at Randy's shirt and pulled it up as they broke the kiss to remove the shirt. Randy took the chance to get more air to his lungs as he took the chance to take John's shirt.

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

"John I want you so much will you make love to me?" Randy asked

"Anything you want Babe." John said as they both finished stripping each other and made it for the bed.

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

John laid randy down on the bed and kissed him with great passion reached out and he took the lube. John was very willing to make love to Randy as he hoped they would for the rest of their lives. John placed some of the gel to Randy as he slowly getting Randy ready. After John got three fingers in and had Randy nice and stretched he knew they were ready to go. John then place some gel to his growing erection. John placed his cock to Randy's awaiting hole as he slowly pushed in. In a matter of moments John could feel Randy was ready he was bucking his hips trying to get John to move. John then slowly started to move in and out of Randy, picking up the pace. John thrusted faster as he held Randy close to me.

"Oh god Ran!" John said as he could feel Randy's rock hard cock rubbing against his stomach.

"Oh god Johnny please." Randy yelled as John could feel Randy's walls fighting around me. John pulled all but all the way out and then back in hitting Randy's prostate. Making Randy scream and wither beneath him. John could feel that He was so close to letting it go.

"Ran….almost there…" John yelled as he felt everything explode within himself as John came. With one last push Randy came too with a low growl. John collapsed on top of Randy. John wrapped his arms around Randy and held him tightly as John slowly pulled out of him. John then laid next to Randy as their breathing was labored.

"God John that was amazing. I'll never get tired of that. I love you." Randy said

"I hope not because you are stuck with me. Randy from now till the end I am yours. And I love you too." John said as he pulled Randy close to him and the two of them fell asleep. Safely in each other arms right were they both wanted to be? This was going to be a new beginning for both of them not just as a couple but as a family. John fell asleep knowing full well that he had to tell his parents and siblings everything. Then the two had to talk about whether or not they wanted to tell their friends and co-workers. But he knew that no matter what would happen he and Randy were in it together.