"Well…this is…nice," he said, cautiously, as he looked around the bright, tropical hotel room.

Monica shrugged.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a tight smile. "It's good."

Chandler's shoulders slumped. He'd planned their honeymoon - six days, five nights, all inclusive at a Cancun resort some distance from the main drag. He'd been pretty proud of himself - got a good price, had a few excursions planned. It would be as far away from New York as they could get.

And the room was nice. It had a big, king-sized bed, huge bath and a balcony overlooking the ocean. There were strawberries chilling in the ice bucket next to the champagne and chocolates on the pillows.

It was really perfect, very romantic.

They'd gotten off the plane in Mexico, and they'd gotten all the "stuff" the other couple kept beating them to - including the honeymoon suite.

The only problem was, it wasn't quite ready when they got there.

The other couple may not have noticed if it had happened to them, but it happened to the Bings and that had made Monica grumpy…again.

Chandler was pretty sure that just about everything since they got married seemed to make Monica grumpy.

She'd been in a foul mood more often than not since the day after their wedding.

"I'll never be a bride again. Now I'm just somebody's wife."

Chandler winced - somewhat ashamed how often those words had played over in his mind since she said them Sunday morning.

He tried to play it off, but the entire time he and Ross went on their futile search for the cameras at the hotel his heart was hammering in his ears.

Why was she so unhappy?

She'd even opened all the wedding gifts without him.

Of course he'd kissed another woman, and they called it even, so that moment had played out nicely.

But then she'd left him to go through them by himself and went out with Rachel and Phoebe.

And that was another thing.

The girls, and Joey - Joey! - all knew Rachel was pregnant, but his wife decided to keep that from him until she thought it was "safe" to tell him.

And now here they were, finally on their honeymoon as husband and wife, and all she cared about was that other couple beating them to everything.

OK, it was frustrating, but was it really that big of a deal?

They were married, isn't that what she wanted…

"I'm going to take a shower," she said, picking up her toiletry bag from the luggage that had been delivered to the room earlier.

"Want some company?" he offered.

She wrinkled her nose.

"Not right now," she said, pointing to her hair. "I need to try to get this under control."

He nodded. The humidity had definitely done a number on her hair.

"OK," he glanced at the clock. It was just after 6 p.m.

"Um…what time is the dinner?" she asked.

"7:30."

"OK," she said, disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door.

Chandler sighed and started unpacking their bags.

###

Monica leaned up against the bathroom door and closed her eyes.

She was being a bitch and she knew it.

The place they were staying was stunning - incredible ocean views, ten pools, six restaurants, spa, all kinds of activities and excursions…everything anyone could ask for.

Yes, she was a little upset the room wasn't ready when they got there at 4 p.m., but then again it hadn't originally been their room.

So they decided to take a tour of the resort and a walk on the beach.

It would have been lovely had she calmed down enough to enjoy it.

But her hair had started to explode and that aggravated her.

And she let it aggravate her.

Since the wedding every little thing seemed to set her off and she was taking it out on him.

She knew he didn't deserve it.

Or did he?

She sighed as she turned on the water in the gorgeous, two-person shower in front of her. She took off her clothes and stepped in, letting the water fall over her shoulders for a few moments.

Monica tried to concentrate on getting her hair shampooed and conditioned enough to ward off the humidity.

And not on what was really bothering her.

She wanted to relax. Chandler had always almost effortlessly been able to make her relax.

She wanted to enjoy her honeymoon. She wanted to make love to her husband and drink pina coladas and not have a care in the world.

She just wanted to be in love and leave everything else behind.

But…but before their wedding he'd almost left her behind and she just couldn't get past it.

Monica's eyes filled with tears.

They'd talked about it briefly, on their wedding night.

He said he was sorry, she said she knew he was sorry.

But then he'd kissed her, pressed his body against hers and she let herself get lost in his kiss and in making love for the first time as a married couple.

And she decided to drop it.

She shouldn't have, but she did, and if she was honest with herself it was because she didn't know if she could take the pain of hearing why he had run away.

Or the reason she was sure he'd come back.

Of course, their friends also had managed to make everything chaotic until they left for Mexico - Rachel was pregnant, Ross was the father.

Monica knew one of the reasons she let herself get caught up in their drama was so she wouldn't have to think about Chandler disappearing on their wedding day - throwing everyone into a panic as she blissfully and ignorantly got ready for the happiest day of her life.

It sent shivers down her spine to think about what would have happened had he never been found - had he never shown up.

So to protect herself from the pain she'd started pushing him away.

But now…now they had all the time in the world to talk.

And she was still pushing him away.

She turned off the water and plucked the thick, bright white terrycloth hotel robe that read "Hers" off the hook next to the shower.

Monica glanced over and saw her sundresses hanging on the back of the bathroom door.

Chandler must have hung them up while she was showering.

It was a sweet, husband-ly thing to do.

She picked up her comb and started running it through her hair as she stood in front of the mirror.

She looked herself in the eye.

"You have to get over it," she whispered to her reflection, as she blinked back tears.

###

A half-hour later Monica emerged from the bathroom, and Chandler's breath caught.

She looked beautiful. Her hair, now pretty much under control, was pulled back in tight, wrapped pony tail. She was wearing a dark red, knee length halter dress with nearly flat, Roman sandals to match.

She smiled a little at him.

"Ahhh…the beast has been tamed," he teased, putting down the travel brochure he'd been looking at and walking toward her.

She groaned.

"Yeah, well, it won't last," she snorted. "Should have had you book an Alaskan cruise."

He laughed.

"You going to get cleaned up?" she said, gesturing to the bathroom, before turning to the dresser and opening a drawer.

"Yeah," he said, running his hand lightly down her shoulder. "You wanna see me in anything in particular?"

She shrugged her shoulders, not looking at him, already reorganizing the clothes he'd put away, "whatever."

He snatched his hand back.

Chandler just stared at her before he grabbed a pair of nice khaki shorts and a loose-fitting, button down white shirt. Heading into the bathroom, he closed the door hard behind him.

Monica squeezed her eyes shut a moment before returning to the task in front of her.

###

She was sitting on the balcony, drinking bottled water and leafing through the same travel guide Chandler had been when he came out of the bathroom ten minutes later.

He'd had enough.

"Monica, what's wrong?"

She looked up, putting the magazine down.

"Nothing," she mumbled.

"Bullshit."

"Nothing, Chandler," she said firmly, her heart starting to race. "Are we ready?

"They'll come get us," he said, hands on his hips, eyes never leaving hers. "Why are you so unhappy?"

Monica took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

She didn't want to do this. Not now.

"Do you have the camera?" she said, stubbornly refusing to answer his question.

"Mon…"

"Do you have the camera?!" she said, her voice raising, her anger finally starting to come to the surface.

"Yes, I've got the goddamn camera!"

"Good. I know how hard those can be for you to keep track of."

She was shaking. What was she doing? Why was she provoking him like this?

But she couldn't stop herself.

"Wouldn't want it to disappear," she spat out.

He was taking deep breaths now, trying to get his temper under control.

They were really going to do this…

"What about the cameras?" he said, quietly, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"What?!"

"What about the cameras, back at the hotel?"

"What about the cameras?!" she shot back.

"When you found them," he said, hands still on his hips, looking sharply at her, "you couldn't have picked up the phone and called my cell? Called the hotel? Ross? You knew I had to be busting my ass looking for them…"

She was at her boiling point.

"Maybe I wanted you to look for them for a while," she said, seething. "You know, try to find something that should have been right there all along!"

Finally, the real reason she was pissed.

He knew it. He knew it was going to come to a head sometime.

But he'd be damned if he thought their honeymoon would be the time.

He took a deep breath.

"Just say it," he said, his voice low.

She looked away. She really didn't want to do this now. He'd come back, they were married. They'd get past it. But…but…

"Just say it!"

"Fine!" she shouted, tears stinging her eyes. "Why the hell did you leave?! Why did you run away?"

He told her to say it, but now looking at the vein bulging in her forehead he wished he hadn't.

God, what an absolute idiot he was.

"I…I finally freaked out," he said as calmly as he could. "OK, I'm sorry. I said I was sorry…"

But they both knew "sorry" wasn't good enough.

The instant Joey had said "before the groom takes off again" her day had been shattered. She said her vows, meaning every word, all the time wondering if it would still mean anything to him.

When he said his vows, from his heart, the shattered pieces came back together enough for her to enjoy the rest of the wedding, and most of the reception.

But he thought she was pregnant and that's why he'd come back - because he felt he had to.

She was almost sure of it.

"Monica…" he stepped toward her when she was silent.

She backed away.

"No," she said. "Don't…."

He stopped.

"You…you were going to just leave me there, standing there, wondering where you were?" her breath hitched, but she refused to let herself cry. "How…how could you even think about…about doing that to me?"

Chandler dropped his head.

"I don't…I don't know," he said quietly. He looked at her again. "I just…I thought…I knew…I thought you'd be better off without me and…and...the…the Bings. I heard our answering machine message and I…it just hit me. Then my parents were bitching at each other at the rehearsal dinner. I honestly didn't think you knew what you were getting yourself into and so I…I ran."

"And they found you at your office," she said, her voice icy.

"Yes."

"And you came back because you thought I was pregnant," she said, matter-of-factly.

"What? No!"

"Yes," she said, her fury building again. "Yes, you did. You felt like you were…I don't know…duty-bound…"

"No, Mon," he said, stepping toward her again. "I came back because I wanted to marry you."

"Because you thought I was pregnant!"

"No, I didn't," he was adamant, feeling more desperate than angry. "I was already at the hotel, in my tux, when I heard Rachel and Phoebe talking in the hall…"

She was stunned.

"Really?" she said, calming a little.

"Yes," he said softly, as he reached for her.

She was trembling. She put her hand on his arm to try to steady herself.

"You still disappeared," she said softly, then she looked into his eyes.

"If they hadn't found you, would you have been there?"

He hesitated and then looked down. "Yyy…yes."

Her heart dropped again and she backed away from him.

Tears filled her eyes.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" she said, her voice thick, her anger resurfacing. "You should have told me….if…if this is how it's going to be - if you are just gonna run away at the first freak out…"

"That's not fair…"

"Fair? Fair?! I wouldn't have done it," she said, finger pointed at her chest, with that air of superiority she got whenever she felt she was right. "I would have talked to you if the situation was reversed!"

He looked at the fury in her face and knew he was heading into dangerous territory now, but he dove in anyway.

"Don't…don't even…" he said, pointing his finger at her. "I'm not the only one who freaked out and ran off without…without…"

"Whoa…what?!" she interrupted, confused, her mind racing trying to figure out where this latest comment was going. "What are you talking about?"

He jerked his head, cracking his neck, trying to calm down again.

But if they were going to do this, they were going to do it right - all cards, skeletons and ex-boyfriends on the table.

"I'm not the only one whose ever run when…things get…heavy."

"I don't know what in the hell you're talking about," she snapped, searching his eyes. They were dark.

She couldn't possibly think what he could be accusing her of, and she got madder and madder thinking he'd have the audacity to accuse her of anything.

"Chandler?!"

He swallowed hard. It had been eating at him for a year…in the back of his mind.

It was time to let it out.

"Why did you go to Richard first?" he said the words quickly, before he lost his nerve.

She looked at him completely taken aback.

"What?!"

Richard? She hadn't seen Richard since…

He took another step toward her, now standing right in front of her.

Suddenly she put her hand over her mouth, finally realizing what he meant.

"The night we got engaged," he said quietly, his voice sounding more hurt than angry now.

"Why in the hell did you run to Richard?"

NOTE: An angsty honeymoon fic? Why, sure! It's me after all… ;) There is a dearth of Mondler honeymoon tales on this site, I believe, so I'm hoping to rectify that a little with this story. Looking at 6-7 chapters here, updating pretty frequently, per usual, I hope. Enjoy! And please, pretty please, review :)