A/N: Songfic time: Chandelier by Sia. New favourite song. Now I don't really see Ginny running to the drink over Fred's death, but I used her for my story anyways, so it's OOC. Ginny goes to the parties to forget about the loss of her brother, based off the lyrics of the song.

I'm not sure about my pronouns (I/you) but when I read it, I understand what I'm trying to say. When I use 'I', I'm talking about Ginny personally, and when I use 'you', I'm talking generally. Does that make sense?

Submission for:

Fanfiction Scavenger Hunt Competition: An angsty/tragic fic

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. RxR. FxF.


I still see him everywhere, and I mean everywhere. In the breadbasket, at the kitchen table, in the backyard. I see his smiles, I hear his laughs, I fall for his jokes and I feel the life that was crushed out of him under the rubble. He haunts me day in and day out, and I know he doesn't mean to. He joked a lot but he would never haunt me like he is now.

But he's never here, amidst the flashing lights, the glam, the glitter falling out of thin air from the ceiling of the night club. I'm the one they call when they want to have fun, because I'm the life of the party. Party girls have a blast and party girls don't get hurt. I drink to numb the pain, to numb the hurt. I stay up so I never crash down. I float above the water so I never sink to its depths.

Because in the depths, there is darkness. In the depths, there is no air. In the depths, you drown.

I'm trying to run away from the demons, run away from the thoughts, chase them down with the drinks, but instead they're chasing me. Every time I try something stronger, something harder, something faster, pushing them down when my body tells me to stop, until I lose count of just how much I've tried.

Because that's when it creeps up on you. When you forget just what you're running from, it reminds you. When you've finally passed the limit and you're body is moving on it's own, that's when it latches on. So when you come back, it's there waiting for you. It's there to take you and drag you down with it.

In the morning, there is living with the shame of what you've done the night before, because this day didn't exist until you woke up. The once free bird has finally made its nest of empty bottles and half-eaten, regurgitated meals. But you don't want to open your eyes, you don't want to look down and see the mess you've made. You ignore the tears that fall every time you wake up. You like to pretend everything is just fine and it's hurting no one.

So you drink again, and you chase it back again, and you swing from the heavens as if it can't get you. You swing from chandelier to chandelier, flying among the twinkling lights, like stars in the sky. You hold on just for tonight, just right now, but you know you can't run forever and you hope to eventually land in a pile of broken glass once and for all.