the story with no title
PART1
CHAPTER 1
it all begins in algaesia...
eragon to his extremely stupid dragon: come on saphira lets play some fetch.(takes out a stick)
saphira starts jumping around
saphira:yay bob play stick with me du duh yay
eragon: my name is eragon you twit, er-a-gon comprende
saphira:you have nice breath bob
eragon:saphira your hopeless I should call you kakaloooki!
well it wasnt saphiras fault that galbatorix had blown the brains out of saphira. infact galbatorix's brain some how ended up in zarroc and eragon began talking to himself.
Galbatorix :(in zarroc) hah when I used to play with shruiken we used to throw dead bodies instead of sticks, good guys these days, as soft as a marshmallow.
eragon: I knew we should have had dumped him
eragon: I know I wanted to too but zarr.. I mean galbatorix is my only sword
eragon: so brom could have given you another one.
eragon :but brom died(eragon starts crying)
galbatorix: there we go again always about brom.
saphira:duh stick..?
galbatorix:saphira could you do the honors I dont have hands
saphira whacks eragon on the head
eragon:oh yeah ...saphira fetch
eragon throws the stick far far away
saphira flies after it.
galbatorix:hah my grand mother could throw better than that by the way why is saphira taking so long shruiken never took that long
eragon grabs galbatorix and sticks his blade into mud
galbatorix:oh man ..I am sorry now please get me out of here, you know I hate getting stuck please im sorry, aww I've got mud all over my shiny self
eragon: should I ?
eragon:no way lets leave him
eragon: naa,hes my only sword
eragon :brom will give you another one
eragon:but broms dead (starts crying)
galbatorix: what the heck, get me out of here, great here we go again
meanwhile saphira comes back holding a tree trunk.
galbatorix: saphira please...
saphira whacks eragon on the head real hard
eragon: huh oh yeah(takes galbatorix out)
galbatorix: hah I knew you had a weak spot no wonder your not evil.
eragon puts down galbatorix
eragon:saphira wee time
saphira raises its hind leg over galbatorix
galbatorix: oh no mercy I'll do any thing not the wee!
eragon: let him go for now...
so this was daily life of the trio a dumb dragon, a talking sword and a retard...
chapter 2
eragon is sleeping with his dorky cousin roran. In the middle of the night saphira nudges eragon
eragon:what is it? I've told you a million times if you wanna wee rorans bed poo uncle garrows bed.
saphira keeps nudging
saphira: big thingy look!
saphira grabs eragon and starts flying, eragon quickly grabs galbatorix as saphira fly's through the ceiling.
galbatorix:huh...wha what the heck is going in?
eragon:oh look saphira, you broke the roof what am I gonna tell uncle garrow
galbatorix: er..that some ninja monkeys did it
eragon: no ive already used that excuse when saphira blew off the toilet
galbatorix: some magical elves did it
eragon:no ive used that one when saphira ordered 17 extra large pizzas
galbatorix:a meteorite
eragon:used it when saphira blew off the toilet for the second time
galbatorix: err...im out of excuses
eragon:(sigh) I'll be grounded like last time
eragon:by the way saphira where you taking us?
eragon:maybe shes taking us to visit brom!
eragn:but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
galbatorix: once again oh well, saphira please
saphira whacks her tail at eragons head
eragon:uh oh yeah
saphira suddenly lands and says: look big thingy in here
eragon and galbatorix look up to a huge space pod .It opens and a gigantic black thing wearing a jacket and a bandana comes.He looks down.
thingy: I am taaku master of teleportation hahahahahah...er..(takes out a card from his pocket)...all u..you...er...ah..all you humans I am taaku master...
galbatorix: youve already said that you looser, geez!
taakku takes opens his jacket full of labeled pockets on the inside .takes out a card from a pocket labeled interruptions
taaku: you dare d..de..defy the great taaku, brackets open continue what you were saying brackets closed...oh I get it .takes out another card. I am the great taaku yada yada yada I can teleport from one place to another, brackets open show off your powers, brackets closed...oh I get it...er..(teleports some where and comes back again)
...now I bet you are tr.. trembl..trembling in your knees before I continue any quest..questions?
eragon: I know a guy called aaku who is shape shifter and master of time no offense but any relations with him?
Taaku takes a card out labeled relations
taaku: I have one bother...brother aaku who wrote all my mini notes he is ul..ult..ultra kewl...ultra cool and I am a loosor...looser and a wuss..was..wussy (taaku suddenly realizes what he's saying)douh I knew I should not have made him write this, gullible me.
eragon and galbatorix laugh
Taaku: that tears it you're going down.
Taakus hand suddenly gets surrounded by fire
saphira: ooh shiny light!
and saphira flys towards it
eragon: noooooooo
galbatorix: too late
saphira crashes into taakus hand saphira eragon and galbatorix fall down.
eragon:help
galbatorix I dont wanna die! shruiken would had been much more useful than stupid saphira
eragon:it will be good if you die, no more talking swords
eragon: yea then brom will give me a new one
eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaa
galbatorix: look we're falling to our doom with the only hope that somehow the stupid dragon will remember to save us and the only thing you can think of is brom!!!
eragon: im gonna die waaaaaaaaaaaa, no wait I'll meet brom in heaven yay death here I come :)
mean while saphira finds out they are falling.
saphira: oh no bob is gonna die
eragon :eragon my name is eragon and dont you dare catch me I wanna die!! I wonder if brom would look the same.
saphira: duh bob forgot his own name dont worry
saphira catches them both
taaku: have you forgotten me ?
taaku opens a hole out of thin air and flings the trio in to it ...
and they land somewhere else...
chapter 3
The trios (for saphira, galbatorix and eragon takes too long to type) end up some where weird
eragon:brom where are you? is this heaven ? what's that written on that sign board
galbatorix: er… welcome to...er...dorksville?
saphira:duh
a person passes by with huge dorky glasses
eragon:hey you with the strange glasses
eragon:no there not weird they're wacky
eragon:how about dorky
eragon: ask brom
eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaa
person:er why are you talking to your self
galbatorix:beats maybe hes just a retard, saphira please
saphira whacks eragon on the head
person:hey look you the sword can talk
galbatorix:never seen a talking sword before?
person: er...
eragon: forget him where are we
person: you are in the 11th dimension called dorksville
eragon: what the
galbatorix:wha..
saphira:duh..
person: well there are 50 dimensions and the dark fiend taaku terrorizes them all
eragon: yea about that aren't we in heaven? ...that means broms still dead waaaaaaaaa
galbatorix:ignore him he's an idiot we want to know a way to get to our dimension thingy
person: I dont know but our lord shall know
half an hour later they are standing in front of huge thrown and from behind comes the shortest person you can imagine with the dorkiest glasses followed by another shorty whose totally green
short person: I am dexter boy genius king of the geeks and this my apprentice yoda
yoda:!#$$&(translation: im the green hot talkin yoda with and dexter here is my apprentice)
dexter: yea about him no one understands him
yoda:!#$$": (translation:some how I never understand my apprentice because hes dumb)
dexter: but hes pretty nice
yoda: $$#$$$#!!$$$(dexter is the geekiest person and his breath stinks of math) yoda starts laughing
dexter:he laughs for no reason too, taaku some how teleported him here
yoda:!$$(translation:dexter is total dork)
eragon: yea we have come here to talk to you that do you have any teleportation device
dexter: indeed but it is un tested
galbatorix: who cares we wanna get out of dorksville I bet shruiken would have just flown out of here
eragon: shut up
dexter takes the trio to a huge closet
dexter: get in and you will be transported to your destination
the trio get in
yoda:!#$$#$$(can i go too i really want to kick taakus butt even if it may be thirty feet above the the ground)
dexter yes yoda, ill give you cookies later...now...1...2...3 and teleport
a light surround the trio yoda jumps in as well
dexter: oh oh wrong dimension entered... this can not be good by 100
yoda:!#&$$$$$( see ya you loser geeeks too bad you could not master the force and by the way dexter your a total geek)starts laughing
and the trio along with yoda are transported to some where else...in a place full of trees ..
galbatorix:where are we?
and suddenly a blue troll comes behind them with a long beard, white war paint and tusks
troll: I see ya man...
chapter4
galbatorix:who the heck are you some kind of evil space monster
troll: I am da shadow shaman rhasta
eragon:what kind accent is that
eragon: I think its german
eragon: no australian
eragon:no way it has to be british
eragon: I bet brom would know
eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaa
galbatorix: saphira
saphira whacks eragon on the head
galbatorix: my favorite part of the day :P
rhasta:what do you mean what kind of accent is thees it a troll accent.
eragon: we need to find a way to teleport out of here do you know any
rhasta: I hear ya man I got the perfect thing fer you people
rhasta takes out a small dagger out of no where
rhasta:thees is kelens dagger of escape you can have it, just swing it through air and it will open a portal for teleportation but once you use it, its gonna take 2 hours to recharge unless you got batteries
galbatorix: okay thanks! by the way why do you call yourself the shadow shaman your blue not shadowy?
rhasta: sadly the name pink head spear driver was already taken
suddenly a huge horn is heard
rhasta: he scourge are on the move again I go(he runs away)
eragn:right lets do this thing
suddenly a person wearing a huge mask and a cloak comes with no feet (he levitates in air)
person:give me the dagger now
yoda:(laughs)$$(huh I bet you cant see a thing under that mask why dont you wear )glasses
person: you dare defy razor the lightning revenant
eragon: lighting what
eragon:i think he said lightning dork
eragon: or was it wussy vent
razor: I the revenant have never been so humiliated before
eragon: im sorry
razor: your pleas are futile I shall electrocute you now
galbatorix: what's up with the formal speech
razor: that does it you are now going to witness hot undead action too bad its gonna be used on you
eragon: why hot undead action why not mysterious
eragon:or electricity...ly
yoda:!#$$#(for you it should be dorky undead action)
saphira: duh hi bob wanna be friend
eragon: what?...and im eragon not bob
saphira: what ever you say bob
eragon: damn it!my name is bo...I mean eragon!!
saphira: yes bob I now call you bobgon
galbatorix: you mean popcorn
saphira: yay bobgon new name for bob
eragon:??????
razor: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME
saphira: jojo dont look happy
eragon: whose jojo
saphira: you
eragon: me
saphira: no you bobgon he jojo
eragon:s
galbatorix: shruiken was always more better at making names like moron, looser, shortpants
yoda:#&&$#$$$( oh look the dork is suddenly becoming red and electric maybe he had a shock)
razor:you fools have angered me (suddenly gets surrounded by electricity)
eragon: quick saphira wee time
saphira wee's on razor
razor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I the lightning revenant is being liquefied NOOOO
yoda suddenly takes the dagger and makes a portal so the trio along with yoda jump in and the portal stays open for just enough time for razor the revenant to get in too...
