I have always thought that if loving is hard then you just have to love more. I always thought I could cope with losing my mother but I guess I thought wrong. Yet being here, just standing in front of Charlie's house is a small comfort. At least I knew I wasn't completely alone.

When Renee died I know part of me died to, and because of that I find that sometimes breathing is just too hard; but I'm still living, well part of me is. I wanted a place to go where I could hide, a place where I could grieve, a place where I could just feel what I was feeling… for once.

Seeing Charlie come running out of his house and then before he greets me he slips on the ice. I and all I can see is my Renee's face and I know I can't bear to lose Charlie too. Yet when he picks himself up and comes to hug me, I know everything isn't going to be all bad.

***

Driving to school made me smile; but it was not a smile of happiness as it's reason for spreading across my face was to torment me. It reminded me that I missed this part of normality in my life. It showed me I needed this normality in my life and I knew that was all I wanted; I wanted to be me, just Bella.

Walking through those corridors I laughed out loud, and than I realised I never laugh, I never had anything to laugh for. Yet seeing the dull colours of the corridors I couldn't help but grin. Well I grinned until I fell flat on my face, but still I laughed because after all I am Bella Swan. What can you expect of a clumsy seventeen year old.

"Hey!" a concerned voice shattered my thoughts, damn boys always more trouble than their worth. "Are you okay?" there he goes again. I turn to walk away and for the second time in the space of about a minute I am flat on my butt in the middle of a corridor. Smooth Bella real smooth. Strong hands start lifting me to my feet and as I look up I see. Well I see my version of a god; what am I shallow? One minute I am pleading for normality and now all I can care about is the guy in front of me.

"Are you okay," god there it was again that annoying voice that was calling to me. It was the type of voice that would belong to a guy called Mike. So as I turn to look at the supposed Mike I am not so pleasantly surprised. "Hey I'm Mike Newman!" the chirpy annoying voice came from the bug who was looking up at me as if I was the pregnant Mary just arrived in Bethlehem. Idiot… but then if the guy holding me up was Joseph I might be happy. Though I'm not to sure about the whole 'Virgin Mother' thing.

As I decided on ignoring Mike I looked up to admire my 'Joseph,' funny that he was looking directly into my eyes as I turned to gawp at him.

"I'm Edward Cullen." The deep voice that came from the gods lips barely registered in my head so I did what was the only thing possible.

I fainted.