Summary: What if our favorite charming conman... was a conwoman instead? Caffrey is still just as witty and charming - and as much a thorn in Peter's side - as ever. An AU White Collar retelling with a genderbent Neal.
So, I got the idea for this from a line in Prisoner's Dilemma where Peter remarks that Jack Franklin's relationship with his CI is the reason why Elizabeth prefers Peter working with a male CI instead. I started thinking about what would change in the series and what would stay the same if he did have a female CI. I'm sure there are plenty of gender bend stories, but I decided to write it anyway to get it out of my head, and I liked the result and decided to post it. Some characters are gender bent, most are not. It mostly follows the story, but with some additions to fill in some gaps. Hope you like it.
-Selkie
Chapter One
The Cat and the Mouse
"Drop three!" Peter paced. Around him, the apprehensive faces of his fellow agents mirrored his own feelings. It had taken so long to get to this exact moment in time, yet now that the moment had arrived, it seemed to stretch out endlessly. This was it, though. They had never been this close…
"Drop two." One number left. Peter could feel his heart beating in his chest… or maybe he was just imagining that. Just a few short, sharp heartbeats later, the safe technician called out the last digit as the safe's final pin clicked into place. "Drop four. All pins down. Preparing to open."
Peter let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Finally… So many long nights spent getting to this safe, and it was as simple as 3-2-4.
Peter paused. "Three, two, four." He muttered. That was too simple. But 3-2-4. There was something…. "Three, two, four! Wait!"
He stepped toward the door, but it was too late. The technician opened the safe. There was an explosion and dust filled the air. A smoke detector went off. Without wasting a moment, Peter covered his mouth with his tie and rushed in for the technician. "Are you okay?" he called, reaching blindly for the man through the dense cloud of dust. He found him and rushed him out.
The man coughed, crouched over. He had been right in front of the safe when the explosion was triggered, and had likely breathed in a lot of the dust. He would probably need to see a doctor. And, of course, that meant even more paperwork for Peter. What had seemed like another step closer to the target ended up being another headache.
Peter was covered in the dust, and it did not want to brush of easily. The man stopped wheezing as the dust began to settle and looked around in confusion. "What happened?"
"I said 'wait.'" Peter told him. "You didn't wait." He let out a grunt of frustration. "Ten thousand man hours to get this close to the Dutchman and you blow up my evidence." Realistically, Peter knew it wasn't the technicians fault, and that he shouldn't take his frustration out on the man, but this case had been dragging on for so long, losing this one small step closer felt like a punch in the gut.
Agent Clinton Jones stepped forward. "Agent Burke, how did you know it was going to do that?" Jones was a good man, one of the best in the division. But he was still young and lacked Peter's years of experience.
"Three, two, four," Peter repeated, addressing all of the agents around him, not just Jones. "Look at your phones. What's it spell?"
Jones pulled out his cell phone. Then, looking a bit sheepish having not realized it sooner, said "Oh. FBI."
"Yeah." Peter continued dusting himself off. "FBI."
"Apparently he knew we were coming," Jones said. Peter's eyes snapped back toward him in disbelief.
"You think so, Copernicus?" he snapped. Again, it wasn't Jones' fault, but Peter couldn't help taking it out on whoever was handy. After he calmed down, he would apologize, and they would start fresh on the case. Again.
Peter pulled a shiny red fiber off his jacket and held it up. He had no idea what it was. "Somebody wanna… wanna tell me what this is?" No one answered. "Huh? Anybody?" They exchanged glances, but no one seemed to have any more clue than he did. "Nobody knows what this is? Great. Look at you. How many of you went to Harvard?" he snapped.
Several of them raised their hands. "Don't… don't raise your hands, don't," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He sighed again, and looked once more at the agents around him. His probationary agent was making her way through the crowd toward him.
"Ah, Diana. Look at this. Apparently our boy has a sense of humor." She looked grim. Peter knew that look. That was the look she wore when she needed to tell him something he didn't want to hear. "What?" he asked, simply.
She leaned in close, and held his eyes with hers for a moment. Softly, she gave him the news. "Nora Caffrey escaped."
Two Hours Earlier
Getting into the staff-only bathroom was the easy part. Jim was a nice guy. A small bribe and a flirty smile was all it took for him to look the other way. "I just want to use the bathroom in private," she had lied. "It's so awkward having to… you know, go in front of other people sometimes. You understand, right?"
Everything was right where she had left it. In the tank of the toilet. She didn't have much time. She put on the uniform as quickly as she could. Her hair was already braided. She pinned it up. The wig smoothed out nicely. She held up a small mirror with one hand, and straightened the wig with the other before securing it with more bobby pins.
Next was the makeup. That was the hard part, the part that took the longest. She set to work, contouring and highlighting to make her chin, forehead, and cheekbones seem more squared and masculine. She made her lips look thin and pale.
The end result was… not perfect, but would be sufficient if no one looked too close. She took one last look in the mirror and nodded. Showtime. A bell rang. She counted to twenty, and slipped out of the bathroom.
The walk, she knew, would be what would make or break her plan. She had practiced it for a month, walking with purpose, like she belonged. But, like a man. She felt like she was clumsy and lumbering, but no one spared a second glance at her as she passed, so it must not have looked too out of place.
The final obstacle was the gate. She would have to pass very closely to some other guards. She pulled a key card out of her pocket and slid it through the card reader and pushed down the twang of guilt she felt for Jim, who was going to lose his job when they realized what happened after all was said and done. There was a loud buzz, and the door popped open.
A guard on the other side caught the door and turned to face her. For what felt like an eternity, he stared at her, blocking her path. She regarded him evenly, ignoring the pounding of her heart. Don't make me talk, she begged in her mind. If I have to talk, I'm done. Finally, he smiled and held the door open for her. She smiled back, and walked out the door.
Out in the parking lot, she took a moment to breathe. Nora Caffrey, convicted forger, and maximum security inmate… had just escaped prison.
