I thought of this while writing Rubber Palm Tree. Enjoy while laughing at the fact that I don't own KH2.
A Picture is a Thousand WordsPicture One: The Voodoo Ducky
As we browse through the yearbook of the Organization if you go to the very first page of the book and looked at the center you will find a very startling image of Vexen jabbing acupuncture pins into a harmless yellow rubber ducky.
The caption reads:
Vexen and the Voodoo DuckyWAIT! Before you throw away this yearbook saying 'What a sadist' remember! You can't judge a book by its cover! Or first page in this case…
Every picture has a story.
Won't you at least listen to this one?
XxXxX
"I'LL KILL YOU!"
"YOU'LL NEVER SURVIVE!!! NE-VAH!!!"
"OH NO YOU DON'T!!!"
"KILL! KILL! KILL!"
"NOT BEFORE I INCAPITATE YOU FIRST!"
"EAT MY ASS, FREAK!!!"
"IN-BUH-CEELE!!!"
"YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY AND THEN SHOVE IT!"
The earsplitting screeches of two video game titans at war resonate through the walls of the Castle That Never Was.
Roxas and Zexion looked above, at the plaster falling from the ceiling.
"Looks like those two are at it again…"
"Can't they just get over it already?"
"Nah… This is an extreme battle of morals and a huge strain on their manly pride… Not that they had any in the first place…" Roxas was pacing around room trying to catch 'snowflakes' on his tongue.
"…Hmm… I wonder what they're playing this time?"
"Most likely that new game Xigbar got. What was it called again? Tries of the Fartless? Wives of the Smartless? Cries of the Cartless?" Roxas struggled to remember the name.
"… I think you mean 'Rise of the Heartless'…" By this point Zexion looked as if he had a severe case of dandruff.
XxXxX
"Hey! It looks like those two are playing that new game I bought."
Xemnas smile was strained. "Must be very fun since they have been playing it non stop for two weeks…"
"So that's why I never see them at lunch anymore!"
Xaldin sighed. "And I told them it was tacos yesterday…"
"And they turned them down?"
"Yep." Xaldin nodded glumly. It was rare when people didn't want to eat his cooking.
"… This has indeed become a serious matter…"
XxXxX
"HAH! I TOTALLY WIN! L-O-S-E-R!!! LOSER!" Axel threw his controller at his now peeved opponent.
"I DEMAND A REMATCH!"
"That'll be you're 667849th rematch and you're 667849th loss. Just face it. The younger generation always wins at video games."
Vexen hated the smug grin on the face of humanity.
"Are you guys done yet? I want to play." Roxas popped his head into the room.
As Axel yelled yes, Vexen gave Roxas the exact opposite answer.
"… I WANT TO PLAY TOO!!!" Demyx charged into the area wrestling the controller from Vexen like a determined rabid dog.
"…" Vexen glowered at the younger members of the organization.
The younger generation always wins…
Humanity really was laughing at him.
XxXxX
"Damn you younger generation! Damn you all!" Releasing his pent up anger Vexen started to throw a fit.
It was really a comical sight.
And then he saw it.
It was really an innocent looking thing with it's orange yellow beak and it's yellow rubber body and it's cute wide open eyes but…
Why the hell is a children's bath toy doing on my desk?
Vexen's eyes narrowed. There was only one possible explanation.
This was the evil working of Larxene. Only she would think of something as dumb and stupid and pointlessly idiotic as this. That's when Vexen saw the note.
Vexen, This is Demyx's rubber ducky. This seems like the safest place currently but remember. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET IT. – The Superior
Or maybe Larxene wasn't that dumb and stupid and pointlessly idiotic.
He whipped his head to face the duck. So this was Demyx's huh? Well Demyx must cherish it very much. Such an immature, young person.
That's right. He's part of the younger generation.
Suddenly Vexen had an evil glint in his eyes and a smirk on his face.
Who says the younger generation always has to win?
XxXxX
Forty-five minutes later Vexen was sticking needles and various other sharp articles into a rubber duck with great relish. But don't worry. Demyx's ducky is in the corner safe and sound.
What Vexen was doing was trying to find what would turn the duck into a hideous creation. That's why he had gone and bought three hundred rubber ducks from Wal-Mart for a low two dollars.
There were ways on bargaining that Vexen had just thought up at the cash register when he really didn't have the required amount of money. It involved the sharper parts of his shield and frostbite.
But there was a problem. First of all Wal-Mart had kicked him out and second of all he was already on his 289th duck.
But it was all worth it. All very worth it.
Even if he would be spending a lot of time cleaning up the on growing misshapen pile of yellow ducks. Oh and scraping off the yellow puddle from the ceiling.
"This formula's going to work, I just know it will!" Vexen muttered to himself as he jabbed in another needle.
An explosion rocked the castle and Vexen spat out a piece of debris from his mouth. "… IT'LL BE THE NEXT ONE YOU FOOLS!" He threw the lump of charred yellow rubber with the rest of the mutants.
The next few minutes passed in silence when –
"HEY VEXEN! WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE?" Demyx charged down the stairs crashing into a wall. "IS THIS YOU'RE SECRET LABORATORY?"
"Well it's not so secret now…" Vexen muttered under his breath as he tried to hide the original duck behind him.
"Yeah well Xemnas wanted to … OMFG!!! LOOK AT ALL THE GOBY CHANS!" Demyx ran around gleefully as he noticed that he was knee deep in 'Goby-chans'… "DID YOU MAKE THEM ALL FOR ME? AWW YOU'RE SO NICE VEXEN! Xemnas took my first Goby Chan and hid him and now that you've made a goby paradise well – THANK YOU VEXEN!!!" Demyx ran out with an armload of ducks.
"You're… welcome?" Vexen stared at the duck in his hands not knowing what had just occurred. And suddenly he realized something.
Demyx just took all of his test subjects.
And then –
"NUMBER FOUR GET YOU'RE ASS UP HERE!" Vexen cringed as he heard the Superior's voice echo to his ears.
And then he started to throw a fit again.
"MY LAB IS A MESS, MY SLEEPING QUARTERS ARE DESTROYED AND DEMYX JUST TOOK ALL MY TEST SUBJECTS!!! SO NO SUPERIOR! I WILL NOT GET MY ASS UP THERE! I AM GOING TO STAY DOWN HERE AND SULK BECAUSE THE YOUNGER GENERATION ALWAYS WINS! AND I CAN'T WIN SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO SULK!"
Utter silence over took the castle.
"…What did you just say to me Number Four?"
"I SAID THE YOUNGER GENERATION ALWAYS WIN SO I CAN'T WIN!!! NOW SHUT UP SO I CAN DIE IN PEACE!"
More silence. In fact it was so quiet you could probably drop a pin at the lowest part of the basement and hear it on the rooftop terrace.
"Did you just tell me to shut up?"
"YES OR ARE YOU DEAF?"
An IM Conversation Between Axel, Roxas and Demyx That NightGoby#9: wut happened earlier today with Vexen and Xemnas was… wow…
KeySpaz: yea that was… intense… Especially the part where Xemnas got Saix, Lexaeus and Xigbar to drag Vexen from his lab while he was kicking and screaming and fighting. I was watching the whole thing. It was FUNNY!!!
PyroPunk: Yeah! Vexen totally pwned!!!
KeySpaz: TOTAL MENTAL PWNAGE!!! XD
PyroPunk: XD
Goby#9: I feel bad for him. After all he went and got me all these Gobies… BUT IT'S STILL FUNNY!!! XDXDXD!!!
KeySpaz: Did you hear what happened after?
PyroPunk: His punishment? Oh yea… Wasn't he supposed to sort all the rubber ducks in the storehouses in the back of the castle?
Goby#9: XD. GOBY!!!
KeySpaz: Yeah and the whole time, through the whole incident Vexen kept on yelling 'I can't win…' Weird huh?
Goby#9: What couldn't he win?
KeySpaz: Dunno…
PyroPunk: XD I think this has something to do with me beating him at 667848 games of Rise of the Heartless…
KeySpaz: So?
PyroPunk: The thing is I kept on losing making him think that the winner screen was the loser screen and vice versa.
KeySpaz: but didn't it say 'winner' and 'loser' on the screen?
PyroPunk: Yeah… he actually believed me…XDXDXD!!!
KeySpaz: ROFL!!!
Goby#9: LMAO!!!
PyroPunk: The moral of this is not to be an idiot and actually READ the screen.
XXxxXXxxXX
I just thought what if that happened and I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. But here's something I have to tell you. A goby is fish where if you catch one or find one you have to kill it. So my dad caught one and he threw it in a garbage can and then… IT CRAWLED OUT AGAIN… So really, in other words, a goby is a nuisance. LOL - Shadoom
