Title: Maybe Sometimes

Summary: A 300ish word drabble. Short, yet effective methinks.

Rating: PG-13 for slightly darkish themes.

SS/HP implied.

R/R or I might go and sob my pretty li'l eyes out and that isn't exactly a good thing. ^.^ Teehee.

Journal,

Somedays I don't know what I'm even doing anymore. Am I even worth all the attention? Bloody Boy-Who-Lived-But-Should-Have-Died and all that? Sometimes Ron tells me how selfish I am to be me. And sometimes Hermione tells me I need to study more, or I'll never get anywhere in life. But Sev just... sometimes cares. He doesn't nitpick, he doesn't scold No, he scolds. But only when I really blunder something up.

Sev grounds me. He keeps me me and not someone everyone else needs me to be. And I need that.

Maybe I don't want life anymore, maybe I don't care about my future Hermione. Maybe I really am selfish, Ron and maybe I should stop wanting to be human, to be loved.

Maybe I should.

Maybe I should stop. Just stop. And me be something. Something that isn't the Boy-Who-Lived.

Sometimes I hate myself and sometimes I think I hate this journal too. It's my life, at least since the Tournament.

At least since I killed Cedric. The blood keeps pouring out. Out of my soul and out of my life. And onto this page.

And sometimes I'm not me.

And I want to stop it all.

But Sev's there. And he stays there. For me. And that's what I need.

Someone for me. Not money, not fame, not influence... but love. Someone who loves me because I'm Just Harry and not an icon, not a savior for our world. And sometimes it helps.

And the pain doesn't kill me bit by bit so quickly when I know that Severus loves me.

And he does, you know. He really loves me. I don't think I'm going to do it now that I think about it.

Now that I think about it, Sev loves me and I don't want to lose that.

I'm not going to jump.

-H


Journal,

I woke up this morning and realized something.

I'm loved.

-H