Title: Another Kick in the Head.

Rating: Teenish

Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is not mine; I make no profit off of this work… So?

Pairing (not really sure if this is even applicable): Yobei Heron (from v. 23 of the manga)/ Ranma. Sort of.

Author's notes: This is manga-verse. The Yobei Heron story occurs in volume 23 actually, volume 23 is a very interesting volume. You will notice that this is not part of Ranma's… Husband? My brain was refusing to cooperate and I've had this stuck in my head for too long now. Far, far too long. That doesn't guarantee that I'll ever write any more of this… I'd like to mind you, except I really do like writing Ranma's… Husband? We'll all just have to wait and see what fate, fortune and above all time permits.

You can easily find a summary of the Yobei Heron story on the internet if you are not familiar with it. I'd do one myself but I worry it would push the author's notes into being far too long for such a short story.

Edited to add: Ahem, most of you will have no idea who Yobei Heron is, this I am aware of, so... um... .com/?wtmag0zh0mm . It's just the two chapters and I couldn't find my own volume 23 so it's not the official version, and I wouldn't usually do this, but I like to think of it as an advertisement for the manga. The manga's good, more of you should buy it. Forgive me universe.

000

He was bored. So, so bored. You wouldn't think it was possible to be bored when surrounded by beautiful, half-naked women but he was. Bored. They were all so boring. How was it possible that they were all so boring? All that pretty flesh, but not a single thought in a single pretty head. They were passionless, lifeless, pointless.

He missed her… him… whatever. He missed the girl with the pigtail. Even though he hadn't known her long he missed her with all his heart. Even if she was a he. She'd been interesting, alive, passionate, and real… not like the girls that hung off him these days.

Money was in some ways a curse- but not enough of one to overtake its advantages. No longer living in a mansion that was falling down around his ears was good- as was electricity. Now that he had money he had it all. And what a lot of money it was. Heron Island had become one of the most prestigious resorts- The hot springs, the sea, the perfect weather… In less than a year he had made back his families once-great fortune at least five times over. To put it simply: He was rolling in it.

Wealth was long known to be an aphrodisiac- but even with the way the young women had carried on when he was trying to find his beloved pigtailed one, he hadn't really understood it. Not 'till now.

He looked over at the bleached, perfumed, waxed, primped, glossed, oiled, powdered, permed, painted, almost naked, creatures trying to get his attention and winced. He'd seen deeper globs of spit. The thing so appealing about his beloved pigtailed one was, unexpected gender aside, she was different. Natural. Not affected like these girls.

He was sick of these girls.

Sharice, or Sharon, or Scheherazade, or whatever the annoying American's name was, was trying to catch his attention again. Apparently she was from Miami. Why did she think he cared? It wasn't like bony, falsely tanned, bottle-blondes with overblown makeup and false… assets… were his style.

Urgh.

No. His desires ran in a very particular direction these days.

Red hair.

Pale, milky skin.

Luminous, dark, Japanese eyes.

Petite.

Curvaceous – not too thin, but not too overweight either,

Long, shapely legs.

Fiery temperament…

His pigtailed girl… boy… whatever.

Sheila, Shilou, or whatever, was empty. Soulless. Life-less. It would be like having a relationship with a blow-up doll- or so he imagined. Ick. Ick, ick, ick, ick. Ick. He sighed and walked away from the sputtering blonde; ignoring her plaintive wails as she called after him. Tiresome.

He walked around his ever increasing resort and winced at the sounds of giggling girls, screaming children, and complaining elderly couples. He had no passion for it these days. Heron Island was so popular that he was thinking about expanding- maybe going on a trip to find a new hot-springs resort. He certainly had enough staff to run the island while he was away, and he could use a break.

Morosely he wandered inside and upstairs to his new, massive, inordinately ornate bedroom. Sighing again he walked out onto his balcony to survey his kingdom. The cool sea breeze felt refreshing as it wafted against his skin, lifting his mood from irritation to vaguely content apathy. He looked down at them all with envy- they all seemed so happy, aside from the ones that kept whinging but he suspected they were happy whinging. He was envious.

A commotion caught his attention and he looked to the right to see the strangest group of people… ok, people and panda, walking across the courtyard. There was a tall, long-haired, moustachioed man, three dark haired girls (two of whom were squabbling) and a panda dragging a reluctant red-head. Wait. It couldn't be…

The girl seemed to instinctively sense his presence and looked up.

They made eye contact. He knew those eyes- they haunted his dreams. He felt his heart skip a beat. The girl… his girl… boy… whatever.

His beloved pigtailed one.

000