Its Darkest Just Before Dawn

A/N I finally bit the bullet. This is a story I had posted under another name before I wrote OAN. I wanted to let you all see it if you are interested. I am dusting it off and making some editing improvements, trying not to change too much of the story. It is 24 chapters. It was very, very PG, as my kids were reading it. That might change a bit here. The sequel was never completed, but I will do so when I post it. That will not be until I complete the current WIP Bars and Wars.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own this little story.

Chapter One

Cliff Diving

The water wasn't as cold as the typical day at LaPush's First Beach; although, the sky didn't look any brighter than usual. Something about the constant grey and misting just seemed to be part of life now. It also seemed as if the weather reacted to my moods. Always grey and a near constant build up of mist ever threatening to break through my eyes and stream down my cheeks giving away my internal struggles. Funny, my mood always seemed bright back in Phoenix. Maybe it was the near constant sunshine and dry air. I guessed that more likely, it was attributable to Renee and all her antics. But then again, that was before HIM.

"Bella, hey, sorry it took me so long to get here." Jake came running up the beach, shirtless, as usual it was tucked into the back pocket of his jeans.

Ah Jake, finally. "No problem Jake, I was just testing the water."

"Are you sure you want to do this? It looks like a storm is coming in." Jake looked briefly out over the water.

"Aw Jake, don't start, I have been psyching myself up for the past 20 minutes. I want to do this." I knew this would make him feel guilty. He can't do this to me, I need to hear HIM. Jake, for the love of all that is holy please don't back out on me now. I couldn't take it.

"All right, you're the boss, but let's go now, before the storm comes in." Jake walked toward the path.
The climb to the cliff ledge would take too long and I didn't want to give Jake the chance to back out. "Jake, let's drive up to the landing, we can go back for the truck after."

"Cool." Jake said taking advantage of the opportunity to grab me by the hand and lead me to the truck.
"Jake, please don't, you know it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to lead you on." I tugged at his hand.

"It doesn't bother me Bella; I know you don't feel the same way about me." I got the sense that he believed that would change if he just kept persisting.

We walked the rest of the way in silence, me concentrating on the ground under me, Jake practically dancing over the pathway.

Whoa, it didn't seem like such a long way down looking up from the beach. Hold it together Bella; don't give Jake any reason to think that this is not a good idea. "You go first Jake."

"No way, what if you chicken out?" Jake shook his head exaggerating.

More likely I would slip and fall and hit my head before I even jumped. "Jake, I'm not going to chicken out, I just want to know that you will be there when I land."

"Okay, let's jump together then Bella, on 3."

Holy crow, no way! He'd think I'd have lost my mind if I heard HIM and yelled out to HIM. "No, you go first I'll probably kick you in the head half way down and knock you unconscious."

"Oh please. Well I'm going, see you down there and don't make me wait too long. Bye Bella." Jake took 5 long strides back and ran to the cliff edge and jumped; it looked like he was still running on the air for an additional 3 strides. Typical Jake yelling "yehaaaw" until he was too far to hear clearly. I laughed at him. It doesn't look that hard, I could do it, I told myself.

With my toes curled over the edge of the cliff, looking down, I took a deep breath. Oh what was I thinking? This is crazy, I'm jumping off a cliff just to hear some silly imaginary HIM. I better take 7 strides back, no turning back now. Here we go. I lifted my foot to run when I heard it.

"Bella STOP. What are you thinking? Have you gone completely insane?"

Ah, there it is. I'm sure the smile will still be plastered over my face when I hit the water. Jake will believe that I actually enjoyed this—ooh, that's good, he'll let us do this again. Perfect.

"Edward, what do you care? You left remember? Maybe if you would have ever let your precious guard down enough to do anything like this with me I wouldn't have seemed so weak, so fragile- human and you could have stayed." I screamed at the air.

"Bella, No. Do not be a fool."

"So, NOW I'm a fool? Huh? So I wasn't a fool to think a vampire could ever lover me, but this, THIS is why I'm a fool? Just watch me Edward."

"1, 2, 3, jump. Whoooooooooooo."

Holy crow, I was going to die. If I didn't hit my head on one of these jagged rocks or tree branches the water was surely going to finish the job. On my gosh, I am a fool.

"I told you so. Now just make it to Jacob and do not do this again."Shut up Edward. This was a bad idea. For crying out loud, hit the water already.

Oh, that's cold and it stings; ugh water in my nose, that burns. Which way is up? "Bella, calm down; kick Bella kick."

Okay, I'm okay just need to find Jake. That was kind of cool if I hadn't been so scared. Oh, something warm, soft oh, too tight. Jake. "Jake, there you are."

"Bella, are you okay?" Jake looked at me like he was looking at a ghost.

"Awesome! That rocked, let's do it again." I feigned excitement.

"Um, Bella, I don't think so. Look at the sky; we better go get the truck. You really liked it? You looked terrified and well, sort of mad." Jake chortled.

"Oh, the sky, Jake, let's go we are going to get soaked hiking back to the truck."

"Um Bella, we are soaked." His vibrant laugh reverberated against my chest.

"Yeah, right. Shoes! Man leaving the truck at the top really wasn't such a good idea was it?"

"No, probably not. Am I going to have to carry you?"

"No," I huffed. Ugh my feet are going to be a mess.

"Bells, let's go back to Billy's. You stay there and I'll get the truck. No arguing. I'm starving; you better have lunch ready when I get back."

"Deal."

Did he just let me off the hook? That's not like Jake. Well, he'd never admit it anyways. I was freezing and I really didn't think I would make it if I tried to hike barefoot through the forest.

Settled, I was going to go make some hot soup and grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for Jake. He'd be freezing by the time he got back. I would at least make him change into dry clothes and at least put some shoes on while we are at his house.

Hmm, he looked good with his hair wet and hanging in his face and down his shoulders. The little droplets of water are rolling down his chest, man when did his abs get so defined? And his shoulders were never that broad before were they?

"Earth to Bella." Oh no, I felt the heat on my cheeks, I was sure he could see the blood pooling in bright red across my face. "What?"

"Did you want to get going now or are we going to stand here until it actually starts pouring?"
"Sorry, I was thinking of what to make for lunch."

"Sure."

"Oh hey, is Billy going to be home?"

"Nope, we have the place all to ourselves. Scared?" Jake wagged his eyebrows up and down.

"Jake, knock it off." What was he implying? Maybe I should just go with it, stop fighting it. It's not like Jake isn't attractive, or funny, or crazy about me.

"Bella, be happy." I gasped.

What? What is HE saying? What is going on, are we in danger? I whipped my head around expecting to see Victoria coming for us, or worse. Nothing. Why is HE talking to me now? 'Be happy', doesn't he know that isn't possible anymore? Anything else would just be settling. No, Jacob deserved better than that. He deserves someone who will love him the way I will always love….

"Seriously Bells, let's go." Jake tugged at my arm.

"Ok." I followed along, putting HIM out of my mind.

"Jake at least put on some shoes and a jacket, you'll freeze.

"Not likely Bella, fur coat, remember? Don't really need shoes." I watched Jake roll his eyes.

"Oh, yeah I guess not."

"Just have that lunch ready, I'll be back in 20 minutes." He left as quickly as that.

It felt funny rummaging through Billy's cabinets and pantry. There was seriously no food there. What did these people live on? OK, so it's going to have to be condensed chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese – no ham. Ah ha, a tomato, nope never mind. Honestly, couldn't they even clean out the fridge once in a while? It reminded me of Charlie's when I first got to Forks. I would go grocery shopping right after lunch. This place was in need of a restocking. I cleaned the kitchen while the soup started to heat. I would wait until I heard the truck to start cooking the sandwiches so they would be warm. I set the table and started straightening up in the front room.

There were pictures of Jacob and his sisters from each school year. I hadn't seen his sisters in so long I wondered how much they'd changed. Jake sure has changed this past year; he looks at least 5 years older than he did in last year's school picture. He looks wiser somehow, more mature, more experienced in life.

Hmm, I wonder what anyone would say about me if they compared my current appearance to my last school picture in Phoenix. There is no smile, no bright eyes, even my hair must look atrocious; it has not been trimmed in months. Huh, I haven't even looked in a mirror, not really, since, well, I don't know when.

I hated looking at myself when HE was here, I never compared to that beauty, that perfection. There has got to be a mirror in Billy's bathroom, right, I've never noticed. Well, no time like the present.

I took a long look. WOW. She kind of resembled me, same color eyes, but they are so distant, so blurry, not at all the bright clear eyes I always thought of as my best feature. The puffiness is new too, and the dark circles, those never used to be there. Even the color of my skin is different. I've always been beyond pale but there had always been some hue to my skin, some soft pink that made me look, well, alive. This girl looks like she belongs in a casket.

OH. OH, oh, this has to stop.

A knocking at the door startled me so much that I jumped. "Bella, what are you doing in there?" Jake's voice rang out.

Jake, Crap. He's back. I didn't even hear the truck. I have to get the sandwiches on the stove.
"Coming." Maybe if I splash some water on my face….

"No worries, I started the sandwiches you left on the counter, the soup may be beyond salvation. I think it burned and it is stuck to the bottom of the pot.

How long was I in here?

"Bella, come on, I've been back for 20 minutes and you've been in that bathroom since I got here. Are you ok?"

Oh my goodness, Bella snap out of it already, he's going to regret the cliff dive.

"Sorry Jake, I just realized I hadn't cleaned up in awhile, I lost track of time."

"It's ok, let's eat Bella." I could hear the pity laced in his voice.

The sandwiches did taste good. I felt so bad that he ended up cooking them himself. Some deal I made, I couldn't even make lunch. I really was pathetic.

"Jake, I'm really tired from all the exercise today. I'm going to go home after lunch."

"Oh, ok." He looked so disappointed. I'm not exactly sure what happened but the next words out of my mouth came as a surprise even to me.

"Jake, Friday, let's go out; just the two of us; a movie, or dinner, or something, ok?"

"Um, like a date, hell yeah."

"Yes Jake, a date."

"What? Do you mean it?"

"Yes Jake, I do."

I could see the excitement on his face. Uh, I had just asked Jake out on a date.