"WE'RE GOING DOWN!" he yelled at his copilot, a vomit green penguin with brown, spiked hair wearing a black suit and shades.
"NO SHIT? HUH, DIDN'T NOTICE THE FUCKING CRUISE MISSILES!" the copilot yelled back, sarcastically.
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO RUDE."
"SHUT THE HELL UP. CAN YOU LAND US SAFELY OR NOT?"
"HM... LET ME CHECK."
With those words, the masked penguin flicked a few levers and the machine began to whir. A lesser explosion was heard from the back compartment.
"NOPE, WE'RE FUCKED."
"DAMN. HOW MANY PARACHUTES DO WE HAVE?"
"WELL, THE REST OF THE CHUTES WERE IN THE BACK. I HAVE THIS ONE HERE, AND THERE ARE NO OTHERS. IF YOU WEAR THIS AND HOLD ONTO ME, WE CAN BOTH L-"
"SMELL YA LATER, POOPDICK!"
With that, the copilot, one Gertrude McSlakovich, grabbed the chute and jumped out, leaving the masked man, one Yappie Ockt, to crash into the ground.
The air over the city was clear and cold. Not a cloud in sight. After Gertrude fell for a few moments, he opened his parachute and landed safely on the top of a hill. It was barren, save for 2 penguins, a sled, and a few direction poles. "Hey! You there!" he yelled to the two penguins.
"Hiya! I'm Jon8476923, and that's Jordan74391Q4!" the yellow penguin said.
"Cool, I'm Gertrude. Listen, where am I?"
"You're in Club Penguin! By the way, where did you get that skin color? It's so... ugly." said the one with orange skin.
"...Who the fuck asked you?" After saying this, Gertrude threw a snowball at Jordan74391Q4. The two children ran off crying.
'Goddamnit... Club Penguin? This shithole? Of all places, I had to crash here?' The penguin sat on the ground, leaned against the pole, took off his glasses, and rubbed his temples.
"Excuse me sir, but these two children said you assaulted them?" A light blue penguin in a police uniform said, approaching the man with the kids in tow.
"Aw fuck... Yes, officer, I did, but that kid said some very rude things about my skin tone." said the penguin.
"Scum like you deserve to be locked up. Come on, get up, you're comin with me." At that point, the officer grabbed Gertrude's shoulder.
"... You did not just touch me. This suit costs more than you make in a fuckin YEAR."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever pal. Come on." He tugged on Gertrude's arm. At this point, the suited man took his flipper back, and slugged the officer right in the jaw. He fell backwards, making an indentation in the snow where he landed, and the children ran for more help.
"Shit... gotta get out of here." He spotted the sled once more, grabbed it, and began his long ride down the mountain. The back up arrived just in time to see this, and began the chase.
