Author Notes: This is the first Slayers fanfic I ever wrote, like a millenia ago. Just in case you were wondering why it is so cringe-worthy.


~* Shattered Dream *~

They think I don't know. They think I haven't seen the glances, the quiet smiles, the reassuring pats. I know more than I could ever wish to know. And it breaks my heart.

All those times, when I thought he was listening to me... he was only looking at her. When she was asking me a question.... she was really asking him. They talk over my head as if I wasn't here. Who do they think I am?

I'll tell you who I am. I am Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune, crown princess of Saillune. And for all the riches that Saillune has, it has nothing to alleviate my pain.

Once upon a time, I dreamed of marrying a wonderful guy. Someone who would love me as much as I cherished him; someone who would fight for justice alongside me. I had thought I'd even found that guy...

... I guess I was wrong.

He isn't interested in justice or doing what's right. He only wants a cure for his chimera-ness. He's so obsessive, I don't see how he can even acknowledge HER.

Her. My mentor, my idol, my teacher. To think, I once worshipped the ground she walked on. I thought she was the most awe-inspiring person I have ever heard of. I wanted to be just like her and do the same things she did. I had even thought she would appreciate it...

.... I guess I was wrong again.

She doesn't care at all about how I feel. She doesn't want to teach me anything. She's selfish with her power and she's everything a fighter for justice is not. All she cares about is food, treasures, and herself. I find it surprising that she could ever be fond of HIM.

They think I'm just a silly princess, fighting for what's right like some fantasy superhero. I wish they would realize that I'm deeper than that. Yes, I believe that good will triumph, and that we should be fighting for that good, but there's a reason for my beliefs.

Then again, this isn't about me and my fanatic religion. It's about them. Him and her. Together.

I never would have pictured them together. After all, I always thought he was the one for me, and she had our other traveling companion: the big slow-thinking blonde. I think he would be as surprised as I am, if he ever understood what was going on around him. But he doesn't, and so they continue their covert love.

To any passerby, they don't look like a couple. They don't act like it. But I've lived with them for so long. I've noticed the look in their eyes, the tone in their voice.

I don't know where I fit in the plan for the future. My dreams have been shattered like a fragile sheet of glass. Should I pick the pieces up and put them back together? Or sweep them away and start anew?

Should I even strive to gain his attention once more, or surrender and let my idol have him? Does it matter anymore?

Why do I try?