He should've known the giveaway would be the smile.

Spencer Reid always walked into work absentmindedly, sucking down his coffee while looking over a file in his hand or the Periodic Table in his head. Never once had he walked into the bullpen smiling. The smile disappeared when he noticed the voluptuous blonde techie sitting at his desk.

She heard his approach and swiveled the chair, facing him while petting the stuffed animal on her lap. A cat, just like the one on the antagonist's lap in every espionage movie ever made. None of them were bright pink. That was just Garcia. Maybe the essence of Garcia was a fluffy pink cat, purring when you let it sit on your lap and pet it and clawing you if you dare feed it late. Spencer shook his head, tried to focus. "Why're you in my seat?"

She narrowed her eyes, looking over her glasses at him. "I do believe you have some explaining to do. Sit." She gestured imperiously to the chair she must have dragged over before he'd arrived.

Spencer sat. He knew that there was no point in being unnecessarily obstreperous at this point. No, that would come later, when the interrogation began.

"Who was your date with this weekend?"

Wow. That was fast. "I didn't have a date, Penelope. I was writing my thesis essay for my English Literature degree. Do you want to see it?"

She smiled in a pitying way. "Aw, Spence, that's so cute! But you know you can't lie to me. Tell me who."

After a long moment of silence, the glare returned. "You can trust me! After all, I never told any one about that thing you told me last week."

"That's definitely a reason to trust you. After all, you're right, it was only last week when you spilled my secret to the last person I wanted to hear it. Whether it was unintentional or not, you have proven yourself to be an unwise repository for details of my personal life. May I please use my desk now?"

Garcia's eyes narrowed again as she stood. "Fine. But please keep in mind that I can hack into your car's OnStar account, find out where you went, and then cross-reference that with other similar programs to find out who was going there at the same time, if they had an account." She stood there a moment longer, then whispered to him. "This can be easy, or this can be hard, Reid, but one way or another-"

"Okay! Okay, Garcia, I'll tell you. You've successfully used your tyrannical ways to bully me into divulging information. Come on." He took her arm and steered her to her office, sitting in her chair. When she turned to give him hell for that, he motioned for her to lock the door. She did, then settled into the chair opposite him, looking into Spencer's face expectantly.

"Hotch. Hotch was my date this weekend. And if I ever hear anything about this from anyone other than you and him, I will steal your computers, soak them in gasoline and light them on fire. Because neither he nor I should have to lose our jobs because of a nosy, prying, intrusive gossip."

When Derek Morgan walked into work and saw Spencer Reid grabbing his girlfriend and dragging her up to his office, he had to follow. He wasn't going to let Reid put the moves on his girl-not that he thought he would, but just in case- or hurt her, which he knew was even less likely. Still, it was pretty suspicious, and he didn't want to take that chance.

He pressed and ear to the door just in time to hear the click of the lock, someone sitting down. Then there was the distinct sound of Reid sighing, a long, gusty, Monday-morning-and-I'm-already-exhausted sort of sigh, and Reid dropped the bomb.

Spencer stood up from the chair. "Now, Garcia, if you don't mind I'm going to get some work done. You know, catching killers. The important thing I do as my job when I'm not being interrupted by your perpetual, insatiable desire for gossip."

He opened the door, then turned around and shut it. "You should invest in a 'No Eavesdropping' sign for your office, Penelope. Your boyfriend had his ear pressed to the door."

"B-boyfriend? What boyfriend?"

"You work with profilers, Penny, and you simply are too honest to be able to cover it up. The fact that he keeps giving you, what do you call them, goo-goo eyes helped me figure it out." He sighed again and turned to the door. "Come in, Derek. Let me tell you how this is going to happen."

The door opened and an appropriately ashamed-looking Morgan stepped in. "Honestly, Pretty Boy, I'm sorry. I saw you dragging her up here and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"It's fine, Morgan. I'm sure it looked rather suspicious. But now that you know, here are the rules. You say nothing to anyone except Garcia or me about this, and we do not discuss it during work." He eyed Garcia meaningfully as he said it.

Morgan tilted his head, obviously deep in thought. "Okay, Genius, whatever you say. Can I talk to you tonight after work?"

"Sure. Meet me at my car."

"It's a deal."

Spencer Reid was incredibly tired. It was a long day, nothing but paperwork, and he really wanted to go to bed. He'd stopped at Aaron's office for a short chat before leaving, then he'd remembered his scheduled meeting with Derek about all of this. It had certainly become more widely known than he'd like, and if the information kept spreading at this rate, the entire team would know by the end of the week. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, trying to figure an honest way out. But there was none. He'd agreed, so the meeting would take place.

As promised, the handsome man was waiting at his car, leaning against it in a way that reminded him of the jocks at his old high school. The thought sent shivers down his spine. Thank God that's over.

He made his way around the car, standing in front of Morgan. "What do you want to know?"

"When did it start? You being into him that way?"

"I don't know exactly. A short while after Gideon left."

"Man, I can't believe I didn't see it sooner! How'd the date go?"

Spencer wrinkled his brow, confused. "You're more concerned as to how the date went than the fact that I never told you I'm... not straight?"

"No, man, that doesn't matter. I could kinda tell. None of the dates I set you up on worked, and I am the Matchmaker in Chief." He winked lewdly, laughing at Spencer's lack of amusement.

"Well, um, then... It went well. Really well, actually, we're going out for dinner again tomorrow, right from work. And I have no clue what to wear." A strange mix of frustration and happiness crossed his face.

An unmistakably predatory smile spread over Morgan's face. "Well, then, we're gonna have to fix that, Pretty Boy. You're coming with me." He began walking to his car.

"Wait! Morgan! What about my car?"

"You're coming with me. It'll be fine overnight, this is the FBI headquarters, for God's sake. I'll drive you home and pick you up in the morning. Right now we're getting you properly attired."