Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's probably not mine.
Summary: Five times Vala got SG-1 in trouble. Not that there were only five times…
Pairings: You could read it as Daniel/Vala, if you like
Setting: Season 8+
Warnings: None
Author's Note: I wanted to try my hand at the "Five Things" challenge, so…here we are. I'm planning on writing a bunch of them, with various pairings and characters (warning: some of them will be slash). If you have any suggestions or topics you'd like to see, please tell me in a review. Hope you have as much fun reading these as I do writing them!
TAKE FIVE
Five Times Vala Got SG-1 in Trouble
1) On the planet of the really wealthy aliens
"There was a giant heap of them! How was I supposed to know they would miss one little gemstone?" Vala argued.
Cam looked at the giant ruby and sighed. "That ain't so little, Vala."
"But they've got loads of jewels! Can't they just spare one?"
Teal'c raised an eyebrow as he stared down the barrels of the aliens' guns. "I believe not."
…………
2) On the planet of basically mute aliens
"Okay, it seems these people have sworn some kind of religious vow not to talk," Daniel whispered. "It's a little hard to figure out what they're trying to say—my sign language isn't that great—but I think they believe that speaking loudly is disrespectful to their gods. And—"
And before Daniel could finish the vitally important impromptu briefing, Vala laughed. Loudly. Which turned out to be a cardinal sin.
"Since when was laughing a good reason to kill anyone?" Vala yelled, as they ran for the gate, because at that point, it didn't really matter how loudly they spoke.
"Shut up," Daniel said, and never meant it more in his life.
…………
3) On the planet of the ridiculously chaste aliens
"It was like a train wreck, sir," Cam later reported to General Landry. "You could see it coming, but there was really nothing you could do to stop it."
Daniel tried, of course. He told them Vala had been married, which was actually true. He would have told them she had remarried, but she propositioned the chieftain's eldest son, and then there was no helping it. Of course, Vala had to made a few joking comments about sleeping with Daniel and/or Cam…
They barely made it out alive, and then only after Daniel "married" Vala and made her promise not to jump any more alien men. Or women. Or…anything.
…………
4) On the planet of the chauvinistic aliens
Vala never did take an insult well. When it was all over, Cam quietly sent a prayer of thanks to whatever deity was out there for prompting him to make Vala take extra hand-to-hand combat classes. He had to admit he was pretty impressed. She'd practically fought every man in the village.
He also made a note to never get in her way when she was seriously angry.
…………
5) On Earth
"Well, this is new," Daniel muttered.
"On the contrary, Daniel Jackson. We have been incarcerated several times in the past," Teal'c observed.
"But never on Earth," Sam mumbled. "My career is over."
"General Landry is going to kill us," Cam agreed. "You think we can plead alien influence?"
Daniel looked thoughtful. "Well, technically, Vala is an alien…and she did get us rather spectacularly drunk. Where did you get that stuff?"
"I told you, it's an extremely rare and highly-prized form on liquor on many planets," Vala sniffed. "It's hardly my fault you've all got such a low tolerance for alcohol. And you must admit, the lack of a hangover is a plus."
"What's your excuse?" Cam demanded. "You weren't that drunk."
Vala shrugged. "It was a dare, Cameron. How was I to know that your planet had laws against public nudity?"
