It was just like any other day in Arkham Asylum. Most of the rogues were in their respective cells, feeling angry and frustrated by the fact that Batman managed to foil their plans and kick their backsides into Arkham without breaking a sweat. Well, except for the Joker since he's always laughing and smiling but that's not the point. The point is, our favourite inmate is well, let's just say bored. He was casually leaning against the wall while throwing cards into a hat. How'd he get such a thing? Nobody knows.

As he was whistling about, he could hear Two-Face's angry scream followed by Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, The Mad Hatter, Bane, Killer Croc, The Riddler and even Harley. His only reaction was a grin before he suddenly erupted into a fit of laughter. Apparently, he pulled a prank on all of them.

Let's just say that the Joker submitted a little something to all major newspaper companies in Gotham. Still in a giggling state, he grabbed the paper and laughed louder.

THE TRUE NATURE OF ARKHAM

Just yesterday, Gotham Daily received an anonymous letter of what seems to have the hit song's 'What Makes You Beautiful' lyrics parodied.

Bane's insecure, don't know what for

He turns his head when he walks into Arkham

Two-Face needs make-up, to cover up

His ugly face but it's not enough

Everyone else in the asylum could see it

Everyone else but him

Poison Ivy darkens men's world like nobody else

The way that she flips her hair gets you underwhelmed

But when she hates men it ain't hard to tell

She doesn't know

Oh oh

She doesn't know she's homo yet

If only she saw what everyone else could see

She'll understand why Harvey wants her so desperately

Right now everyone's looking at Killer Croc and they can't believe

He doesn't know

Oh oh

He doesn't know he's hideous

Oh oh

That's what makes him hideous

So c-come on

The Riddler's got it wrong

To prove I'm right I'll put him in a song

I don't know why, he likes to cry

And turn away when Killer Croc looks into his eyes

Everyone else in Arkham are tall

Everyone else but Jervis

Poison Ivy darkens men's world like nobody else

The way that she flips her hair gets you underwhelmed

But when she hates men it ain't hard to tell

She doesn't know

Oh oh

She doesn't know she's homo yet

If only Scarecrow ate what everyone eats

He'll understand why he's skinny like a drug addict

Right now Riddler's reading the Twilight series

He doesn't know

Oh oh

He doesn't know he's gay yet

Oh oh

That's what makes him ridiculous

Na na na na na na na na na

(Batman!)

Na na na na na na na na

(Batman!)

Scarecrow darkens people's world like nobody else

The way he says 'Fear me!' is really lame

But when he starts screaming it ain't hard to tell

He doesn't know

Oh oh

He doesn't know he inhaled his own Fear gas

Poison Ivy darkens men's world like nobody else

The way that she flips her hair gets you underwhelmed

But when she hates men it ain't hard to tell

She doesn't know

Oh oh

She doesn't know she's homo yet

If only Harley would stop befriending plant- lady

She'll understand why I ate her chicken pie

Right now I'm looking at her and I can't believe

She doesn't know

Oh oh

She doesn't know she looks fat

That's what makes us all insane

"WHAT THE HELL! I'M NOT DESPERATE! I'LL KILL THAT CLOWN!" Two-Face screamed in anger. The Arkham guards had tried to calm him down after he attempted to breakout as soon as he read the papers.

"I'M NOT GAY! DO YOU HEAR ME JOKER? I'M NOT GAY! I'M THE RIDDLER! THE SMARTEST MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" Edward Nygma shouted at the top of his lungs as he was being dragged away from the recreational room.

Poison Ivy on the other hand was silently plotting a way to kill the Joker or at least make him sick. That'll teach him for calling her a homo. Evil plots began clouding her mind. Should she put poison in his food? In his meds? Spread poisonous spores while he sleeps? She'll eventually think of something. He'll suffer.

Killer Croc who was pissed by what he read in the sewers, shredded the papers before proceeding to eat of what's left, pretending it was the Joker. "I'll get his scent and eat him! I'M GORGEOUS!"

Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter was just as angry as the rest. He felt like crying while reading the lyrics. The clown will pay. He'll be sure of that. He could take insults but what the Joker did was unacceptable.

Bane was silent when he read the paper. He wasn't insecure. He doesn't turn his head when he walks into Arkham! The clown wrote him like an insecure little girl! "I'LL BREAK YOUR BACK CLOWN! WE'LL SEE WHO'S INSECURE!"

Jonathan Crane enjoyed reading the lyrics until his part came up. SKINNY? He was skinny because he has always been like that! The Joker is just as scrawny! And what's worse is that the way he says 'Fear me!' is called lame. It's not lame! It's awesome! "FEAR ME CLOWN! WORSHIP ME! I'M THE MASTER OF FEAR! AND I'M NOT SKINNY LIKE A DRUG ADDICT!"

Harley's reaction was the worst. She found some of the to be lyrics funny but when it came to her part... well, let's just say she was angry at first and then started to cry. She was upset with her Puddin' for calling her 'fat'. She's not fat! Because of what happened, she refused to come out of her cell for three days.

For the rest of the week, Two-Face, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy and the rest that was involved in Joker's prank ignored him. They refused to talk to him, Crane threw porridge at him (but missed), Ivy tried to poison him but failed. Her poison got onto Two-Face instead. Jervis Tetch threw chess pieces at the Joker, Bane tried to attack him but slipped causing his head to hit hard on the floor.

Harley on the other hand didn't talk to him for two weeks. Not a single word came out of his girlfriend's mouth. He tried reasoning with her and told her it was only a prank. Eventually, she found it to be 'sweet' that he at least wrote something about her... after he left her a flower in her cell.

All in all, things went back to normal... until The Joker mysteriously got food poisoning and was immediately sent to the medical bay.

END


Well, that's it. Sorry if it's not that good but this is my first Batman fanfic. Anyway thanks for reading. I really appreciate it and no I'm not a hater of One Direction. I just have a habit of parodying things :)