AN: I don't own Star Wars.
HOLY HELL I have so many feelings about this movie. Rey is my precious baby and I'm so fucking happy that she's the main character. GIVE ME ALL THE LEIA/REY INTERACTIONS PLEASE. I swear I almost died when those two hugged.
Choosing to camp out in front of General Leia Organa's door was not Rey's brightest idea, but if it kept Kylo Ren—Ben—from killing his other parent, Rey would gladly do it every night for the rest of her life. Watching him run Leia through the way he had Han…..well, Rey was already having nightmares; if the worst came to pass, she'd probably never sleep again. As it was, Rey didn't sleep well under the best of circumstances—a legacy from Jakku she would never lose—but now, lightly dozing in front of General Leia Organa's door, the slightest noise could have woken her up.
Which it does.
Rey snaps awake, springing to her feet and flicking her lightsaber on in one fluid motion. She reaches for the mysterious power that has been at her side ever since escaping Kylo Ren in the snowy forest, but before she can access it, familiar eyes gaze back at her in the glow of her blade: "Rey?"
Oops.
"I—General!" the young scavenger stammers, mind racing as she tries to come up with a good explanation for what she was doing there. Which, in hindsight, she probably should have thought up beforehand just in case this exact scenario happened. "I—I just—uh—"
"Do you mind turning that off?" the general asks, nodding to Rey's—well, Luke's, really—lightsaber. "I really don't think it's meant to be used as a flashlight."
"Yeah. Sorry."
Rey nearly drops the damn thing in her haste to switch it off, and once she does, the corridor seems much darker than it had before. There's just enough light for Rey to see General Organa eyeing her thoughtfully. "I was planning to go stargazing," she says at last. "Would you care to join me?"
"That's not safe!" Rey blurts, and then instantly wishes she hadn't. If she were the type, she would give herself a well-deserved slap on the forehead. "I…I mean….um…."
"Is that why you're here?" The general's voice is much milder than Rey would expect it to be after a proclamation like that, her eyes soft in the near-darkness. Just yesterday Rey had seen her hand all ten of her sparring partners their asses, but now there's nothing but gentleness. "To keep me safe?"
Rey drops her eyes to the floor. She knows the general feels the connection between them too—the first time they'd ever met, they had embraced each other like they'd known one another for years—but she sucks with this…..feelings stuff. Finn just woke up a few days ago and she still hasn't been able to tell him how scared she was and how she doesn't want to lose the only friend she's ever had. "I…..I was talking to Poe, and…..he said that—" Your son, Ben "—the First Order might send someone after you because we blew up their base. And because—" Your son, Ben, who killed his father "—Kylo Ren is really strong, he would probably be the one they sent. And I was the only one who could stand up to him, so…." She bites her lip, still not lifting her eyes. "I thought, out of everyone on this base….I would be the best one to….um…."
"To guard me. I see." Rey could swear that the general is smiling just a little bit. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but nobody has ever been able to tell me what to do. I still intend to go outside. However, if it would make you feel better to come along, I wouldn't mind that at all." And just like that, before Rey can even open her mouth to protest, Leia strides off down the corridor.
Rey only hesitates for a heartbeat before following.
The sky is perfectly clear, stars glowing brightly overhead. Rey notices General Organa looking up where the now-destroyed Hosnian Prime system used to be with an expression that makes her throat close, and the scavenger girl steps forward, slowly reaching out as if to offer the older woman comfort. But before she can, the general seems to steel herself and keeps walking, so Rey just drops her hand and keeps on following. She's hyperalert, taking note of every noise and every tiny movement of grass in the wind. Although not Takodana, where Rey had first come into contact with forests, D'Qar is amazing—the sheer volume of green still overwhelms her—but in this moment Rey longs for the open sands of Jakku. At least there it would have been easy to tell if someone was trying to ambush them.
General Organa finally stops at the crest of a high hill overlooking the base, and Rey halts a respectable distance behind her. She still feels extremely awkward knowing that the general caught her, although thankfully the older woman doesn't seem too miffed about it. Partially to give General Organa some privacy and partly because it makes her feel better, Rey closes her eyes and reaches for the Force, shivering as the powerful energy field seems to come alive around her. It's frightening and exhilarating at the same time, and again Rey thinks of the Jedi mind trick she had used on the stormtrooper in the Starkiller base. Living in a legend come alive wasn't what she had expected of her life, but she couldn't exactly complain, especially when it finally offered her the chance to belong somewhere.
"You can come sit down, you know. I don't bite."
Rey blinks, the Force vanishing from her mind's eye as she turns toward the general. She opens her mouth to reply, but nothing really comes to her, so instead she just pads toward General Organa and settles cross-legged beside her. "Sorry," she murmurs, casting a glance toward the older woman's profile. In the command room, the general had a presence that made her seem like a giant, but when they had embraced after returning from Starkiller, Rey was shocked to realize just how tiny General Organa really was. And now, seeing her like this, gray hair loose around her shoulders…she seems so human.
"I'm surprised you were able to sleep in that corridor. It's freezing in there." The general doesn't look at Rey, keeping her eyes fixed on the stars above.
"I'm used to sleeping on the ground." Rey takes her lightsaber from her belt and gently runs her fingers along its smooth surface, watching the reflection of the stars on polished metal. "The beds here are too soft."
"I expect they would be." She pauses, and when she speaks again, her voice is very soft. "It wasn't your fault, Rey."
Rey sucks in a sharp breath. How did she know? Her surprise must have shown on her face, because General Organa offers her a small, sad smile. "It's written all over you. That's why you were sleeping out there, isn't it?"
The girl clenches her jaw, swallows hard. "I don't know what you mean, General."
"Leia," the older woman corrects. "You don't need to use my title if you don't want to."
Rey blinks in a combination of surprise and resignation. She recognizes the motion for what it is—a dropping of barriers, taking off a mask. General—Leia is offering her own openness in exchange for Rey's. Rey exhales slowly and ducks her head, focusing on the small patch of ground between her crossed legs. "I was right there. I should have done—something. Han was….he was fair to me. I owed him for that. But instead—" Her voice chokes off, and she clenches her fists. "I just stood there."
A warm hand covers hers, and Rey has to bite back a sob as she sees the glossy shine in Leia's eyes. "You couldn't have saved him, Rey. It's a miracle you didn't get killed in that forest, battling untrained against a Sith."
Rey mutely shakes her head, unable to speak as her throat grows thick with tears. She wants to say more, wants to tell Leia that she isn't just trying to protect her out of guilt, but the words won't come and instead she just swipes ferociously at her eyes. Leia's thumb rubs over her knuckles, ridiculously soothing, but she doesn't try to hug Rey or anything like that, for which Rey is grateful. She's feeling a little too fragile for that right now.
"I know what it's like to live with the pain of believing you let someone down, that there's blood on your hands. It took me…years….before I finally forgave myself for allowing the Empire to destroy my home planet and murder two billion people." The pain in Leia's voice strikes Rey like a punch to the gut. "But sometimes….there's just nothing you can do."
They sit in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Rey's eyes begin to droop, but she fights it, not wanting to let her guard down when they're in such an exposed and vulnerable space. As hard as she tries, however, Leia still notices. "You can go back inside if you'd like, Rey."
Rey stubbornly shakes her head. "I'm fine…"
"Would you like to hear how Han and I met?" she asks, and Rey sits up a bit straighter.
"Yes, please."
Leia smiles wistfully. "I thought he was the most thick-skulled, laser-brained idiot I had ever met. He and Luke both came to rescue me, but they had no kind of escape plan at all, so I had to save us. I had the bright idea for us to jump into a garbage compactor…"
Rey listens raptly, but soon her eyes start to close, and they don't open again. She curls up against Leia, only barely awake, and the last thing she feels before falling asleep is Leia's arm wrapping around her.
For the first time since Han's death, she sleeps dreamlessly.
