Project X

Story 2 of Like Thirteen

"Deuce, come over here," Ray said. The reason he called me over is to show me something on the computer. I brought a crappy, deactivated, de-batteried computer to the glade and it miraculously started working. "Whadda ya think?"

I checked the screen. "…It's an invitation," I observed. "…To a party." My eyes wandered to the bottom of the digital card. "TONIGHT!?" I panicked, wondering how he could possibly even try to get a full-on party ready by tonight. I looked at him, panic in my eyes. He looked back, a twinkle in his eyes. It was kinda weird, since his eyes were black dots.

"It's at eight, but I need these by five." He handed me a list of stuff:

A Karaoke Machine

Party Streamers

Five Spotlights

Security Cameras

Drinks

I looked at him. "… So I'm the guy who's doing the errand running?" I was slightly offended. "I took down a dragon with no legitimate fighting experience whatsoever and you expect me to get…5 things?"

"Well, yeah. I need these things, and you need the experience and socialization. Go on, make some friends!"

I eyed him, uncertain if that last part was an insult, sincere insist, or something similar. I went for my pocket, but remembered that I didn't wear pants. Or have legs, for that matter. "…The stuff in my pockets, Ray… Where did they go?"

"Your hood is your pocket, now. It's much better, too. It can hold a heck ton more, and won't weigh you down!" He smiled.

I suspiciously reached into my hoodie, wondering if he was serious or not. Sure enough, I feel the remote and snatch it out. I pressed a button with a little map icon, and it showed a 3D holographic layout map of the entire glade. There was a little dot of red, blinking every second or so. I pressed it, and with a zap, I was at the front of a supermarket-style shop. Well, I guess it was a supermarket. I entered, expecting the little bell to go off and everyone to instantly shut up and look at me. There was the bell, yes, but that was it. There was nobody there, save a Glute or two.

Walking up to the counter, I must have dinged the bell a few hundred times at rapid speed before my hand started to heat up. As I blew it off so as to not have my glove catch fire, a single lum flew out, with a broom and a ticked off look. I guess he was sweeping and heard the 6 trillion dings before deciding to find out what was going on. When he saw me, he dropped the broom and stuttered "... Ruh…Ruh Ray…"

I held out my hand as if to stop him. "I'm not Rayman, I'm just his friend. He's planning a party, and I need 5 spotlights and a karaoke machine."

He looked at me. "…Yeah… Hang on." He flew behind the coulter and hefted up the spotlights, one by one. When he finished that, he said, "Well, alright. The karaoke machine is right that way." He pointed to an aisle of party stuff.

I looked around and took into account the emptiness of the store. "…What - - Where is everybody?"

He looked at me. "I guess everyone's getting ready for the party."

A thought entered my mind. "…How about you come with me. It seems like you weren't invited. You can help me get some of the supplies."

"If it gets me out of work, I'm all in!" He extended his hand. "I'm Joey."

I shook his small hand. "Deuce. Now, how do we get all of this stuff to my house?"

He smiled. He flew into the white ring on my hoodie and with a bazhou! I was in the house, spotlights in one hand, and the karaoke machine I didn't even manage to get off the shelf in the other. I had a sneaking suspicion that there were no outlets. I mean, it's a freaking tree. Joey grabbed the plug and rammed it into the wall.

"What are you doing?!"

"The tree's magic. Plug it in, boom! It works."

As he said, the karaoke standby light flickered on. I smiled, my lips parted and my jaw hanging down a bit.

After a moment of awe, I grabbed the remote and hit the button illustrated with the Fiesta De Los Muertos painting. With a flash, I was next to a purple Rayman Legends skeleton.

He turned around, surprised by my appearance. Then, as he was about to strike, he glanced at my hair. Seeing that it was black, and seeing my Hispanic skin color, he thrust his bone of a hand out to shake mine. I took it in a friendly gesture, and explained my situation to him in roughly translated Spanish. He replied, his accent thick, "Party stream? Oh, English for the lines of bitter, colored paper? Yes, I have some of those! And if you ever need anything else, Deuce, I can help! Rayman just comes in here, killing us off like flies. Just say you know Quince, and they'll take you to me!" of course, he said it all in Spanish.

I smiled. "Thanks." He gave me the best streamers he had, and with a wave goodbye, I teleported home.

Rays eyes widened at the sight of the streamers, recognizing them instantly. "Th—These are from the Fiesta paintings! How did you get these?"

I smirked. "I have my ways."

Joey came buzzing in. "We got the soda! Plum soda, that is." He and Globox came in with barrels and bottles of the stuff. But Globox had a hazmat suit on him. Gas mask and everything. I had forgotten that he was allergic to plum soda. He helped us (Ray, Joey and I) set up the whole thing. We got the streamers up, and it looked like a party-friendly place.

I checked the clock. 8:00.

The time on the invite.

I had better get outside.

I heard a roar of people outside, and I scrambled out the door to see thousands of people. THOUSANDS. I felt my pupils disappear, and mentally screamed. I reached into my hood, relying on the wacky, silly programming from the Rayman games to help me out. I pulled out a clipboard with pictures of everyone in the glade. It had their name in either red or green. One by one, they either got in or went home. When everyone was done, I walked into the house to see the craziest party ever. Strobe lights, songs, and lots o' idiots.

I spotted Barbara with some people at a table in the far back.

"...And so now were stranded, in the middle of the ocean, I'm getting seasick, and Anetta says, 'I may control the ocean, barb, but I can't fix a boat!' so, I say, 'then at least stop the boat from rocking!'"

I chuckled. I only heard the end, but "Barb" had a point; at least make the ocean calmer. "That's pretty funny," I commented.

She turned to me, a slaphappy, semi-drunken smile on her face. "Deuce! You made it!"

"I live here."

She pointed to me, her hand limp. "...Too shay."

"You're so drunk right now, I can tell."

"I'm not as drunk as I look, you know."

I held up two fingers, directly in front of her face. "...How many fingers am I holding up, Barbara?"

"Trick question." She stumbled sideways.

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey! Deuce!"

I clutched my non-visible ears. "Tone it down. Not only am I right in front of you, I have sensitive ears."

She pulled out a syringe full of dark purple liquid. "Guess what I got," she said, totally changing the subject.

"...What did you get?" I was a little nervous.

"It's a plum soda injection."

"Why? Just, why?"

"Well, you see, raymarians can't get drunk."

"...Oh my god, drunk science. And why not, Barbara?"

"No throat. No way for the soda to get to the body to get to the brain. Their head just dissolves it. It doesn't get into the bloodstream. Until now!" She thrusted the needle into my side and I cringed. I yanked it out, and to my luck, no blood. I should mention I'm quite...squeamish. That's another reason I love this game; dying is just becoming a bubble, then popping. I looked around the room in panic. My vision blurred, I lost balance, and everything spiraled into blackness.

I can barely recall what went on the rest of the night.

I woke up on the ground. In the living room. With (phew!) all of my clothes on. I had a killer headache, and I couldn't see very well. When my eyes adjusted, I stood up and saw Ray, sprawled on the floor, covered in empty bottles of plum soda.

"Wake up, Ray." kicked him awake, still half-asleep myself.

He sprung awake, bottles crashing to the floor, but not exploding. He turned and socked me in the face. Hard.

"Ow! The heck, man?" I rubbed my face.

"Sorry, instinct. That was a riot of a night."

"You remember?"

"Yeah. We can't get drunk. Since we-"

"I know, Ray, I know. But then why were you passed out on the ground?"

He looked at the bottles surrounding him. With a nervously guilty look on his face, he chuckled. "...I may get carried away sometimes," he said, anxiously rubbing the back of his head.

I started walking to the bathroom to stick my face in the sink. But I tripped on a walkie-talkie.

"Now who would need a walkie-talkie… for a party?" I picked it up, and I guess I hit a button, because the last conversation started to replay. With a static crackle, last night's replay started.

"...Do you have the serum?" Asked a familiar voice. It was like Ray's. But it sounded void of happiness, and it was slightly deeper.

"Yeah, I got the serum now shut up, you're distracting me here!" It was a New York ish accent, but I couldn't be certain.

"Ok. Now replace the plum soda injection with the darktoon extract."

"...Done."

"Now put the knockout tablet into the plum soda."

"...Done"

"Excellent."

The talkie died down. I stared at Ray, who stared back we had the same expression on our faces.

The talkie crackled to life again. "Andre? Andre? Andre, you buzzing puffball, answer me!" It was the first voice. However, the deepness was gone.

"Dark Rayman, what did you do?" Ray said, disgusted.

Oohhhhh. Dark Rayman. Ok. That makes sense.

"Rayman?"

"Yeah, it's me. What did you do to Deuce?"

"...Oh? Is that his name? What a nice, ethnic little name. But back on topic, you're black-haired friend is now totally under my control!" He laughed an evil laughed. I weakly laughed, showing that I wasn't in control. That was never a funny moment.

Ray stepped on the talkie, crushing it under his foot. He turned to me, hatred in his eyes.

"Listen, bub. When I get my hands on you, I'm going to bang your head against a rock, drag your unconscious body up the mountains, throw it off, and make it a corpse.

It took me a sec to realize he was talking to Dark Ray. "How? There's no stopping me." I spoke for Dark Ray. Not controlling my body, I cracked my knuckles. I literally couldn't control a single aspect of me. I smirked evilly, and punched Ray in the face. I smiled in relief, sighing a little. "Oh, that felt SO GOOD! The best part is you would never punch him b-ACK!"

Ray slugged me in the left temple.

I felt my brain regain control of my body. I rubbed my head in pain, staring at Ray in horror.

(DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNN!)