N/A: for who is waiting for "Back to the beginning" to be updated, I apologize. I got so caught up in this fic, that I have been writing non-stop.
The good part is that this fic is completed, it's up to you guys now if I update it or not, it depends on how loved I feel, hahaha! Joking, joking. But it is up to you, let me know what you think, okay ?! Thanks to. "Sarah999" for the plot.
When you see the letters like this they are thoughts and the dots pull them together.
Enjoy and I don't own anything.
Chapter 1
Will you love me forever ?
Santana's POV:
"Santana" Brittany spoke softly bringing her hand to her friend's cheek caressing it, the warm hand felt like a feather on Santana's cheek "Whatever happens, I'll always love you, remember that San"She gave her friend a warm smile.
"Britt wh-why..." her voice broke before she could finished her sentence, not that she knew how to finish was paralyzed, all the words died in her throat making it impossible for her to get anything out.
The blonde girl stepped back, holing her diploma to her chest with both hands "I'm sorry" she said with her usual smiled that hadn't left her face, her eyes were drowning in sadness though, anyone could have noticed it, anyone but Santana "I just wanted to say it one more time before I leave"
"Brittany..." her voice seemed to be back, and Santana was grateful for that , she didn't maneged to get much out though, as she felt Brittany's hands on her waist and her breath on her face.
"Now, what about a kiss as graduation present?" the taller girl murmured against her 's eyes grow immediately bigger and she covered her mouth with both hands stepping back and out of Brittany embrace so fast that she almost felt on her ass.
"Brittany..what the hell!" the latina yelled shocking her head from one side to the other furiously,still covering her mouth.
Brittany giggled at her friends reaction, in an attempt to hide how much her reaction hurt her.
"Don't ditch classes too often San" the blonde waved stapping backwards out of the choir room."Bye-Bye" she gave her childhood friend a last bitter-sweet smiled before disappearing completely out of sight. Santana was still staring at the spot that her friend had occupied long after she saw her disappeared through the door.
She left without looking back...not even once...Brittany...
She put her hand in her Cheerio jacket and walked out of the school looking down as the words she had said to her friend filled her head. I can't have the feelings you wish I had..even so, I'm glad that you love me, I love you too Britt... She saw the knowing smile on Brittany's face, that knowing smiled that told her that she knew too well that Santana's love wasn't liker hers.
Her head was filled with those countless years of friendship they had built together, the fights, the laughs,the tears, the hugs, the jokes, all those hours of dancing and singing in the same choir room they were not that long ago, the sleepovers, the embarrassing moments Brittany had pulled her through. Everything was gone now, She was gone and Santana was only left with the memories.
...I used those words for so many years to keep Brittany by my side, even when I knew I couldn't love her like she wanted me to, her friendship was too important for me, I couldn't lose her, so I acted like nothing was happening. Because I needed her in my life ,I forgot that it was me who broke her selfish of me,so it's better this way right ? Cause now she is free, free to fly away from me.
Santana shocked her head to clear her thought.
"Get a grip Lopez" she murmured to herself as she looked around and realized that she was standing in front of her apartment door.
The weeks went by too slowly, without hearing anything from her best friend.
That afternoon Santana was lying on her couch facing the ceiling, staring at the picture she was holding high in the air. Brittany was holding her from behind with one hand around her waist and the other one was holding the camara, she was smiling sweetly, like looked bored almost pissed with her hand crossed. She smiled at the picture.
After graduation Brittany disappeared from my life completely, before this I could see her whenever I wanted, I'm not used to this feeling.
She heard her friends cheerful voice calling her name with that big smile on her face and her heart arched, she dropped the picture on her chest and closed her eyes.
Brittany...
Her cell phone rang and she picked it up immediately, hoping to hear her friend's sweet voice.
"Hi San" She heard Rachel's worried voice, and she regretted picking the phone up in the first place, she knew a lecture was coming. "Why did you ditch class again today?" the latina rolled her eyes.
I'm not in the mood for this.
"If that is all you want to talk about, I'm going to hang up" she answered bored. She expected some sort of argument from her friend's side, but to her surprise Rachel only sighed dramatically.
"Wait..San, I'm just concerned" a short pause and her friend spoke again "Lets go shopping this weekend"
"Uh.." Santana thought about it for a second "alright..It's not like I have anything better to do anyways." She rolled her eyes at herself.
"Nice, I know a place that has delicious cake" her friend said excited.
"Are you trying to get me fat Berry?" she asked half joking, only half. I don't need to be depressed and fat. She thought to herself. Not that she would ever admit out loud that she was.
"W-What ? No no no .." Rach laughed nervously "Of course no..oh my ...oh..amh..mom..Yes! My mom ! is calling , I have to go see you San" and the line went dead before she could say anything.
You are such a bad liar.
She stared at her phone for long minutes deciding what to do next.
Maybe I should call her...
She searched for her number on her cellphone, she wouldn't breath as she closed her eyes tightly holding the phone against her ear, every second was a torture.
....Not like a want to hear her voice or anything just a friendly call right ? After all, we are friends and friends call each other..right ?...
"Hello ?" her eyes jumped open at the unknown voice.
Why is a guy picking up her phone ?...
"Is this Brittany's phone ?" She knew too well that it was, but she still asked just to be sure, she didn't want to think about the possibilities as to why a guy was picking up Brittany's phone.
"Yes it is, but Britt is taking a bath"
Britt?
"Would you like to leave a message? I'll ask her to return the call later."
"NO! No,it's alright, sorry for bothering" she answered way too fast and hanged up, trowing her phone to the other end of her small leaving room.
Isn't Brittany supposed to be leaving alone? He called her the hell is he ? AH! It must be her boyfriend.
She thought jumping from the couch on her feets.
"SHE IS CHEATING ON ME!" she yelled incredulous,furiously, with her fist tightly closed.
Wait a minute..Brittany isn't even my girlfriend.
She sat back down, hugging her legs against her chest and resting her left cheek against her knees.
I shouldn't be surprised that Brittany has a boyfriend...I can't ask her to love me forever...She should be with someone who loves her back...Even Brittany can't stay with me forever...waiting...I knew that from the start...
Santana sighed and closed her eyes defeated.
I knew that from the start...
Santana and Rachel were walking side by side, without looking at anything in particular, the weekend had come way too quickly, Santana pressed her hand against her chest, where her heart was supposed to be, and felt it arch. It had be doing that a lot lately, but she still hadn't got used to the feeling.
"Santana...are you okay ?" Rachel asked immediately.
Of course she had to notice.
"I'm fine" she answered dismissible. They both started walking again. "It just that...I get an ache in my chest sometimes"
"Are you getting sick?" the shorter brunette looked closer at her face and touched it with both hands to check the temperature.
"I'm fine" Santana said again more irritated, slapping Rachel's hands away from her face.
"AHA! You must be lovesick" the girl said seriously "I have experience with that" she murmured to herself.
Santana turned abruptly to face her, she hold her fist high in the air in front of the other girl's face in warning. "Don't talk nonsenses Rachel!" she yelled, a few people turned to look at her having heard the suddenly outburst, that only made Santana blush harder than she already had.
"Santana is blushing! " her friend said pressing a hand to her mouth, trying to keep the giggles inside.
" NO! I'm not!" she yelled again, proving Rachel right.
Santana was leaning against a small wall, waiting on the sidewalk for Rachel.
Whatever happens, I will alway love you San. She heard Brittany's voice in her head.
When you said those words, what did you really meant Britt?
She looked up at the sky when she felt a raindrop fell on her cheek.
"It's gonna start raining soon" she spoke to herself, looking around for Rachel. "If Rachel doesn't hurry up, I'll..." her heart stopped and her words didn't made it out her mouth.
Brittany...
She could see her clearly, just there a few meters away from her, smiling. She was sitting in front of a blonde guy, he too was smiling, drinking coffee like the whole situation was normal. Santana saw his big lips move and Brittany laughed amused.
Brittany...
The guy held a small box for Brittany, and the girl took it without hesitation, the smile on her delicate features grew bigger, a real smile, not the plastics ones. Brittany hold the box the her chest and laughed again.
Santana fell her heart arch, more painful than ever before, but she didn't care, she didn't care about anything, staring from across the street at Brittany laughing happily with that guy she didn't care about anything.
The puring rain fell on Santana furiously, the brunette started walking, slowly, whit her hands on her pockets. Was she crying ? She couldn't tell , she didn't not if the wetness on her cheeks were her tears or the rain. No, she couldn't tell.
She walk through the sidewalk without noticing the people with theirs umbrellas looking at her confused.
Nothing is forever...
This time she did hold her heart when she felt it arch in her chest.
...Love is no exception...no matter how much you love them...they'll leave you someday...Mami...Papi...I didn't want to feel this pain again...
She tightened up her grip.
...Brittany...
"Lopez..." Santana looked up at hearing her name.
"Sugar.." she spoke breathless "I'm not in the mood for a fight with you today..." she said to the girl under her umbrella in front of her.
"I couldn't even bother to pick one with you right now" the girls replied with a smirk. If the circumstances were different Santana would have been pissed as hell , but not now, at that moment she didn't have the strength nor did she cared.
Sugar rolled her eyes when her friend didn't answered, the seconds passed by, the only noise being heard was the rain felling upon them.
"Sugar...does it makes me a bad person ...if to avoid getting hurt myself , I hurt somebody else and then pretended not to know about it?"
"Of course not!" Sugar said without missing a beat. "It's natural, humans are weak, that's its how we protect ourself" she stepped closer,making space for Santana under her umbrella.
The girl, however, didn't noticed the difference.
She looked down at her feets "Even when that other person is the most important in our life ?"
Sugar was slightly taking aback by the question "Are you talking about HER ?" she asked with a smiled already knowing the answer "You love her,don't you ? In THAT way..."
"I don't know..." she stepped back and out of the protection of the umbrella "It doesn't matter now anyways, cause she found someone who can make her smile" Santana walked past Sugar, she had said enough.
"Idiot ! It still matters!" the girl's yell stopped Santana from walking any further. But neither of them turned to look at each other, they just stayed like that back to back.
"If you love her, go and take her back. At least let her know how you feel"
Don't talk nonsenses.
Santana shocked her head with a sad small agreeing with her own thoughts.
"You don't know anything..." She said coldly to her friend, because even if she didn't liked it, even if both girls denied it, and neither of the would admit it out loud, they are still friends after all.
Sugar didn't bothered answering. "Why are you running?" she asked instead.
"The Santana Lopez I knew was everything but a coward, nothing could ever stopped her from taking what she wanted."
"What happened to her ?" with those words Sugar walked away, leaving Santana behind in the rain. Neither of turned to look at each other.
...What happened to her?...
Santana tried to come up with an answered, with anything that could help her understand.
...What happened to her?...
She came up with nothing. Nothing at all.
...She is the person I would give everything to protect...
Stepping inside her apartment she finally felt the wet covering her body and she shivered furiously. Her eyes were suddenly covered by warm hands and Santana's hearts stopped knowing who it was even before the person spoke.
"...Guess who ?"
It's her...
"Brittany.." it came out in a softly breath, so softly she self almost missed it.
It's her...
To be continued...
