This is to be sung to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman."

---

Ivan the Commie,

was a jolly, happy soul,

with a long white scarf and an overcoat,

and a flask of alcohol.

Ivan the Commie,

was a country so they say,

no one does think so but the fangirls know,

how he came to life one day.

There must have been some truth to that webcomic that they read,

for when they tried to greet him, well, he raped them all instead!

Ivan the Commie,

was alive as he could be,

and the fangirls say he could laugh and play,

though he was a bit creepy.

Ivan the Commie,

knew that Belarus was near,

so he said "Don't stay- she's coming this way!"

then he ran away in fear.

Down to the basement,

with some vodka in his hands,

running here and there asking to be spared;

Belarus was not a man.

He drank until he passed out then woke up tied to a chair,

he stared into her manic eyes, then she married him right there!

Ivan the Commie,

had a honeymoon to attend,

so he waved goodbye, trying not to cry,

said "We'll all be one in the end."