Kristoff was an idiot.

A total idiot.

Why did he let himself get roped into this kind of stuff?!

When his friend had asked him to participate in her final project for her film degree, he'd agreed. Because it was probably, you know, holding a camera or letting her film his earlobe or something, right?

Nope.

"You want me to what?!" He'd yelled when Elsa had informed him what the short film actually ensued.

"Oh come on! Pleeeeaase?" She cocked her head and pouted.

"That face isn't going to work on me." He crossed his arms.

Elsa bit her lip for a minute, then walked over to the dog on the couch. She took a hold of his jaw and moved it up or down.

"But Elsa is your friend and she needs to finish her project." She said in a comically deep voice.

"That's not what he sounds like." Kristoff said grumpily, and stood up, walking over to the door and opening it.

Elsa took the hint and walked out of the door.

"Just… think about it?" She pleaded.

"I'm not going to kiss a complete stranger for your weird hipster art thingy!"

"Just cos you study construction…" Elsa muttered and walked away.

Kristoff shut the door, sighing. He'd helped Elsa out before with her weirdo projects, but this… I mean, what was wrong with normal stories for films? Since when did you have to do this kind of shit?

He wasn't going to kiss someone he'd just met.

"But you do that all the time at parties."

He wasn't even aware that he'd been speaking in Sven's voice to himself as he poured himself some coffee.

"Yeah, but this is different."

"How?"

"Because it's gonna be on camera. And I'm gonna be sober. And…"

"You're scared. But Elsa's your friend."

"I know, but-"

"And if you don't help her she'll fail her art degree."

"Well I wouldn't go THAT far-"

"And end up homeless."

"You're the worst dog ever, you know that?"

He sipped his coffee.

And once again, he didn't realise what he was doing until the phone was in his hand and the number was dialled.

"Hello?"

"Fine, I'll do it."

So now, here he was, walking down the street in New York with vague directions to a building he's never been to before, on his way to kiss someone he's never met before.

For art.

It was relatively warm, and he'd managed to just wear a plain black t-shirt but he began to regret it as it got colder and he failed to find the place Elsa had described.

What to art studios even look like?

He took out his phone.

"Elsa? I can't find it." He was embarrassed even to admit it.

"Oh my god you dork. Just what can you see?"

"Uhhh… buildings?"

"I hate non-New Yorkers in New York." Elsa muttered down the phone. "Okay… I'll come outside, right? And if you see me, then everything's cool. If you can't… we'll re-evaluate."

"Right, okay." Kristoff rubbed his forehead. Why was this so complicated?

Elsa hung up on him and he waited patiently. Eventually, he saw a streak of blonde from across the street. He waved, and crossed to meet her.

"You're useless." She said.

"I know." He admitted.

Elsa turned and walked up the stairs. The art studio was exactly what you'd expect. The walls were dark and undecorated but with posters for bands plastered everywhere. Most of them were slightly ripped of disintegrated from time. There were sofas in the hall, and a few people were sitting on them, all silent.

Elsa gestured for him to sit, and then she went through a door into what was, he assumed, the main room of the studio.

He sat down awkwardly, and no one even acknowledged is arrival.

"So…" He tapped his thighs nervously. No one even turned to look at him. "I'm going to end up kissing one of you?"

"No, you moron." The guy next to him didn't even take his eyes off his phone as he spoke. "We don't meet the people we kiss until we walk into the studio. There in a different room."

"Oh." Kristoff felt like hitting himself. Moron.

"I'm Kristoff."

"Hans." The guy grunted.

Kristoff decided to leave him alone.

He had nothing to do, so he did what everyone else was doing, and browsed his phone. He looked through his camera role, but after about ten selfies of him and Sven, he realised he was a huge loser and decided to just play flappy bird.

"Mister Oaken?" Elsa stuck her head through the door.

A large man stood up.

"Hoohoo!"

Kristoff had to stifle a giggle at the contrast between the man's stature and his voice.

He walked through the door, and they were once again engulfed in awkward silence.

Eventually the man reappeared and walked out of the building in silence. Kristoff wasn't very good with body language but he could tell he was disgruntled.

Elsa once again popped her head out from behind the door.

"Hans." She said icily.

"Elsa. How's your sister?" He replied in a voice that suggested he didn't really care about her.

"She's doing just fine considering her fiancé told her he was only dating her to win a bet."

And suddenly Kristoff remembered that he'd heard of Hans before.

Elsa had arrived at his apartment in a rage a couple of months ago. She was so angry, he hadn't even been able to find out what had happened. He'd just let her in and stood there while she yelled swear words over and over. Eventually she'd calmed down and explained to him that two days before the wedding of her sister and a guy called Hans, he'd admitted that he'd made a bet with his friend that he could hook up with a different girl every night for a month. He'd never expected Anna to develop feelings for him. And he didn't feel the same way.

He called the wedding off.

And Elsa was totally, totally pissed off.

I mean who wouldn't be?

So why was Hans here, now? Helping Elsa with her project? It was clear the two hadn't exactly made up.

He knew it wasn't his place to get involved, so he just leaned back. Hans entered the room, but it wasn't soon until the door reopened.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Hans' voice echoed through the hall, as he stormed out of the door.

"What? I said I'd help you with your bet." Elsa said mischievously. "One more hookup and all."

"Not with… with… one of those!"

Hans pointed into the direction of the studio door.

He stomped down the stairs and out of the building.

Kristoff stood up.

"Elsa what did you do?"

"Nothing…" She bit her lip.

"Elsa." He crossed his arms.

"I just set him up to kiss some hairy dude, okay?"

Kristoff tried to adopt a 'disappointed parent' look, but he couldn't manage it. He broke down laughing.

"That's my girl." He said, playfully punching his friend in the shoulder. She crashed a smile.

"I know." Elsa began to walk away. "By the way… you're next. Come in."