Note: I really need a good Beta Reader. Must be good at Snape and general brit stuff. Please email me or say so in a review if you're interested! Thank you! Now enjoy my fic. :)
First Encounter
London was quiet. It was the start of July and a thick fog hung over the city. The humidity was enough to choke you and on this balmy Thursday night, the town was quiet. Thunder grumbled in the distance and heavy black clouds darkened the night sky.
Somewhere in the city, a pub was open. The warm light that flooded out onto the street was invisible to passing Muggles. Inside The Leaky Cauldron, the atmosphere could be described as gloomy. Most of the patrons had cleared out, making their way home before the storm came. A table of hags chattered quietly to themselves in the corner and a pair of warlocks were engaged in what seemed to be a very important discussion. There was a cloaked man sitting in the center of the pub, alone, pouring over some parchments.
The final patron of the Leaky Cauldron didn't exactly fit the mould of the other degenerates who talked miserably amongst themselves. A young man, dressed in a plain black robe sat alone at the bar. A curtain of black hair fell around his face as he stared intently down at something on the bar. His right hand clutched a half full glass of firewhiskey tightly, raising it for a tiny sip every few minutes. The young man hadn't said a word all night other than politely asking for his drink.
Severus Snape wasn't sure what he was doing at the Leaky Cauldron. He didn't remember setting a destination for this place nor did he remember ordering his firewhiskey. The thing that sat in front of him on the bar did help him remember why he left his flat in the first place. He took a drink. He felt miserable. He hadn't felt this way since the day she told him she didn't want anything to do with him anymore and even then, it wasn't close to the pain he felt now. His heart hung in his chest like lead and his stomach seemed to twist itself into an odd shape. He felt like crying but couldn't remember how to do it, so he just stared at that thing before him in disbelief.
Sitting in front of him was an invitation. The parchment was ornate and somewhat transparent. The lettering was shimmering gold and curly. It read:
You are cordially invited to witness the matrimony of:
Lily Evans
And
James Potter
Saturday, August the Twenty-third
The ceremony will be followed by dinner and dancing, dress robes required.
Severus felt sick again just reading the invitation again and put his firewhiskey down. He suddenly felt very ready to be in his own bed. He dropped a few sickles on the bar and stood up. He fastened his cloak and turned to leave when he nearly collided with the cloaked figure that had been pouring over parchments all night. Severus looked up at the man's face and saw ghostly white skin and blood red eyes. He didn't look human and Severus knew exactly who this man was. He was called Lord Voldemort. He already felt like he had the worst day of his life and didn't want to be harassed by this odd wizard who was thought to be responsible for a recent string of mass murders. He pushed past the tall cloaked man.
"Pardon me," Severus didn't bother to hide the annoyance in his voice. He headed for the back door which would lead him to Diagon Alley, which in turn, would lead to his bed.
"Severus, won't you join me in a nightcap?" the one called Voldemort said from his place near the bar.
Severus stopped and looked at the door, not wanting to turn around to look at that hideous face again. He wasn't puzzled by Voldemort's knowledge of his name; he was thought to be the most powerful wizard of all time. He also hated half-bloods. Snape's muggle blood from his father's side seemed to run cold at this thought and now wished for his bed more than ever.
As if reading his mind, Voldemort smiled thinly through his lipless mouth. "I just want to have a little chat."
Severus still looked at the backdoor to the Leaky Cauldron, deciding if he should stay or go.
"You forgot this," Voldemort insisted.
Severus knew what it was, it was her invitation and he mentally kicked himself for leaving it on the counter. It was her last plea to him that she still wanted him in her life, even if it was to her wedding to Potter. It was her way of letting him know she wanted to see him again. Now it was in the hands of a muggleborn hating murderer. Anger boiled up inside him and he turned around.
"Give me that now," he demanded making eye contact with wizard across the bar. Voldemort's eyes shone like flames in the dull pub light and fear tugged inside Snape from somewhere.
"Sit," Voldemort ordered from his place near a table.
Severus glared at him from behind the black strands of hair that hung over his face before stalking over and sitting down. Voldemort sat down opposite him and put the invitation down on the table.
"I believe we could be of assistance to each other," he said casually. Snape said nothing and continued to glare into those red eyes.
"I know of your skills, Severus. I know of your talents."
"What skills would those be?" Snape asked dryly.
"Your interest in the Dark Arts, for example," Voldemort said as if conducting some sort of casual business interview. "Also, you're a highly skilled Occlumens, are you not?"
Snape said nothing once more.
"If you were to join my service, I could give you what it is you desire," Voldemort offered.
"You know nothing of what I want," Snape retorted, but he couldn't stop his eyes from glancing at the invitation between them for a split second.
"Yes, well you can delude yourself into believing that, Severus, and it will get you nowhere. Where will you be on August the twenty-third? Will you be at the Potter-Evans wedding raising your glass in a false toast? Will you be there to watch her give her life away to James Potter? Will you be there after that? Will she still include you in her life when she has him? Will she tell you when she has her first child? Her first child that should have been with you?"
Severus looked sadly at the invitation and for the first time all night, tears found him. They trickled down his cheeks as his expression softened. He stared at the piece of parchment, imagining how terrible it would be to watch Lily marry him. Potter would never allow him to be in her life. He would have to live without her and the thought alone made his stomach lurch.
"I can give you what you want," Voldemort's tone was no longer casual. It had turned into a persistent hiss. "All I require is your loyalty."
Severus looked up into those demonic eyes once more.
"Lily will be yours," he continued. "It will be your wedding day and she'll love you like she was meant to."
Snape closed his eyes and for a moment imagined marrying Lily. Her gown was white and she wore tiny flowers in her hair. She carried a bouquet of lilies and her green eyes glittered with happiness as she looked up at him, smiling. He could feel cozy warmth spread inside him as he gazed down at her. Their guests called for a kiss and Severus smiled broadly as he looked back down at his bride. When he looked at her again, however, her eyes were empty. She looked emotionless, almost dead and she called his name mournfully. "Severusā¦"
His eyes jerked open and he found himself facing Voldemort once again. "No," he said finally. "I know who you are and I know what you do, I don't want to be any part of it."
"Surely a sensible young man such as yourself can see the obvious benefits from being in my employ?"
"I don't care," Severus said angrily and grabbed the invitation. "I'm nineteen. I'm not a murderer."
"Not murder, sacrifices for the cause," Voldemort said simply. "And that is not what I would require from you."
"My answer is no," Severus got up and headed for the door.
"We'll meet again, Severus," Voldemort responded.
Severus said nothing and slammed the door behind him. When he turned onto Diagon Alley the thunder overhead was rumbling loudly. A sharp crack and a burst of lightning informed him the clouds overhead were ready to explode. Diagon Alley was deserted and he felt extremely vulnerable.
'That was a stupid thing to do,' he criticized himself as he dashed past Gringotts. He could feel the first of the rain hit his cheeks. He wanted to apparate home but knew couldn't seem to concentrate. The rain came harder now and by the time he reached the door to his flat over a tiny apocethary, he was soaked. He let himself in and shut the door behind him, locking and bolting the door. After he pulled off his wet cloak he peeled his wet robes off himself and left them in a pile on his the floor of his tiny flat. There wasn't much to say about his apartment. He had a small bed, a night table, dresser, armchair and a desk. A dingy lavatory was connected to a tiny kitchen and there wasn't much else. Severus found a pair of gray pajama pants in his dresser and slipped them on. He reached over to his night table and picked up a framed photo that sat on top of it. He looked down in the smiling faces of himself and Lily, just fifteen years old.
The picture was taken in Hogsmeade, at the start of their fifth year. He remembered it like it was yesterday. The pair of them had just come from the Three Broomsticks and were ready to go back to the castle when Aurora Sinistra stopped them from the corner near Honeydukes. She asked if she could take their picture with her new camera. Snape was about to decline when Lily said yes at once. She stood close to him and smiled brightly. Severus could feel her cloaked arm bump against his and his heart fluttered. When Aurora was finished, she promised them both a copy when she developed the film.
Snape's thin finger traced Lily's smiling face and he could feel tears well up in his eyes once again. He wondered if Lily had kept her copy of the picture. How could he let this happen? How could he have allowed Lily to fall in love with James Potter? No, Snape dismissed that thought. There was no way she loved him. Severus sat there for a long time, lost in thought, just staring at the happy young pair behind the glass.
Voldemort had said he wanted Snape's loyalty. He knew that he was a gifted with the Dark Arts and Occlumency. Severus could see why both skills would be valued by someone such as Lord Voldemort. He knew, however, what Voldemort's Death Eaters did. Lucius Malfoy was one of them and had changed considerably since they had left school. He had become colder and somehow hollower. There was a time at the end of his fifth year that the notion of pureblood supremacy seemed to be right. Lucius had been planting the idea in his head for months. After that terrible word slipped from his mouth and was directed at Lily, he had abandoned those ideas. After seeing what just one word could do, Severus gave up on the pureblood matter for good.
Voldemort had also said that he didn't require Snape to hurt anyone. Perhaps he just wanted a spy. A spy who knew Occlumency would be extremely valuableā¦
Severus lay down on his small bed and covered himself with his blanket. He clutched the photo of himself and Lily to his chest and closed his eyes. Lord Voldemort was extremely powerful and Snape didn't have a doubt in his mind that he was capable of fixing his relationship with Lily. If he spied for Voldemort a few times Lily would be his forever. She wouldn't marry James, they could be together. They could get married and have children and grow old together. Ever since he first saw her when they were children themselves, he had always felt like he belonged with her - to her.
Now, he was out of options. Either he was in Voldemort's service or Lily would be gone forever. He knew it would be dangerous, but if he didn't have Lily, what was the point of living?
As he fell asleep his slumber was flooded with an array of strange dreams. The first he was haunted by a large serpent which seemed to follow him everywhere he went. He had another dream where he went to Lily's wedding, but during the reception James used levicorpus on him and everyone laughed. The strangest dream was of Lily, trapped some place dark. There were flashes of green light and she screamed a terrible scream. Severus awoke with a start, the photo still tight in his grip. He could see out the window that the sky was just turning its first shade of purple in the early hours. He put his head back down on his pillow and sighed.
As he drifted back to sleep, his dreams took a different route. He dreamt of him and Lily lying side by side in the grass beneath a warm summer sun. Her eyes matched the grass around her and sparkled happily as she gazed at him. She giggled and brushed a strand of his dark hair from his face. His heart was soaring and he knew this is exactly how everything should be.
When he awoke again, the sun was high in the sky. He crawled out of bed and placed his treasured photo back on his night table. The sky was clear and there was a memory in his head that was just as clear on that Friday morning. When he had been vying for Lily's forgiveness in their sixth year he made a promise to her. She was unreceptive at the time but a promise was a promise. He promised her he would do anything for her.
Please review. I really love feedback it helps me like you wouldn't believe. Also like I said at the top, I need a good beta reader. If you're good at Snape and grammar please email me or say so in a review and I'll definitely get back to you. Thanks so much!
