The Fairies' Tale

In a small room inside a very ornate castle floating in a land which no human can comprehend sat five fairies sipping wine and howling in laughter.

"And to think they all think it is all due to those princesses' pure character and fate!" One fairy guffawed. "They all read those books and think it was all about, oh what was that line from that other story Peter Pan? The one about pixie dust?"

Another fairy tittered with giggles, "'All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.'"

"Oooooo it makes me so mad! They think all we do is supply the magic!"

"Now there's no need to get angry Merryweather, they just don't understand and there is nothing we can do to make them understand. Their minds are simply too small."

"I know Flora, but it makes me want to turn them all into the naïve little tadpoles they are!"

"Tee hee hee hee hee tad poles!" laughed a fairy in a brilliant emerald green dress.

"Fauna I think you've had quite enough of that elderberry wine." Flora flicked her wand and Fauna's wine glass vanished. Fauna sat back in her chair her mouth in a small pout but her eyes still giddy with laughter.

"Well at least they haven't omitted fairies from the stories completely," said a fairy with salt and pepper hair in a baby blue and white sundress and a tiara that sparkled in the sunlight glittering through the tall, majestic windows.

"And it's a good thing they haven't God Mother!" Merryweather proclaimed. "Why if they ever did I'd– "

"Merryweather," Flora warned.

"But they have," lamented the last fairy. She wore a lemon yellow halter dress with white polka dots. But her face, partly covered in her dark brown voluminous hair undid much of the sunniness of her dress. The fairies had scratched the scab off an old wound and the fairy's face was a swirling mixture of sadness and anger. "Who do they think bewitched those beans that gave Jack his beanstalk? Do they think they fell from the sky? Or perhaps the goose laid them along with the golden eggs! Hah! Instead my handiwork goes unrecognized. If it weren't for that Rella girl– "

"If it weren't for Cinderella you wouldn't have had a part in one of the greatest time manipulations that has ever been accomplished," the Fairy God Mother interrupted.

"But if I'd taken Peter Pan up on his offer instead of helping you I'd be famous instead of that Tinker Bell," she frowned.

"Why does everybody like that Tinkerbell anyway? She's such a little snot!" Fauna chimed in.

"Fiona, because you helped me you are responsible for one of the most famous fairy tales of all time – Jack and the Beanstalk. You made it happen instead of just being a famous sidekick."

"I never realized that." Fiona brightened.

"Wait. How are Cinderella and Jack and the Beanstalk connected at all?" Flora asked.

The Fairy God Mother sighed, "It's a long story," she said.

"Story!" Fauna exclaimed. Then she hiccupped.

"We won't be taking her anywhere for a while," Merryweather said.

"Alright then," Fairy God Mother began. "Once upon a time, I was visiting the castle in the Kingdom Really Really Far Away, I had a meeting with the king and queen about Christmas decorations for the coming winter celebration, and I met the prince and his new wife – a foreign girl from a neighboring kingdom. The marriage had been arranged as a seal to enlarge both kingdoms. The couple didn't walk as newly weds typically do, their bodies conjoined at the hip and their fingers laced, instead, it was as though they were business partners, barely even friends."

"Wait! (Hic)," Fauna interrupted, "I thought the Prince married Cinderella!"

"It will all be explained," soothed the Fairy God Mother, "in this reality, that story we all know and love never happened, and neither had Jack and the Beanstalk." She winked at Fauna, "Just listen," she said, and then continued.

"Anyway, the meeting was lovely, and an entire Christmas celebration was arranged. There would be huge evergreen trees and white lace in every corner. I even demonstrated how I could make the snowflakes dance with a bit of magic. As I was leaving a servant girl came running after me, calling my name. I'd accidentally left my wand in the tea room and she rushed towards me to return it."
The fairies gasped and the room was filled with their anxious murmurs. Losing a wand was very serious for fairies.

"But that means you had to give her a wish." Merryweather's voice rose above the din of whispers.

"I know," the Fairy God Mother continued, "and customarily, I told her that she had 24 hours to come up with an acceptable wish." The fairies quieted, but the room was overly still. "She seemed a nice girl, kind enough to return my wand, so I wasn't too worried that she would make some catastrophically disastrous wish. Then she further surprised me as she proceeded to invite me to her house for dinner while she thought of a wish." She paused to sip from her wine glass. "Dinner was fabulous, Rella, as she introduced herself to me, was an excellent hostess, and an amazing cook. She introduced me to her husband, a man named Jack," her eyes twinkled, "When I took my leave she still hadn't thought of a wish and she asked if I could come back in the morning, that she did her imagination worked best when she slept.

"So I left the house, but I thought I would stick around a while longer, to see if I could learn a little bit more about her. The minute I left Jack started a fight with her, saying they didn't have the money to be brazenly inviting house guests over. When Rella left, her head was held high but her eyes were brimming with tears. Then Jack stomped over to a large jar in the corner of the room, hoisted it up and carried it to the table. It was filled to the top with money! Jack counted each and every piece of it. They were far from poor, the man was simply a great miser!

"The next morning I met Rella as she was leaving the house. 'Fairy God Mother,' she said to me, 'I've thought of a wish!' She paused, 'I wish that just once, I could go to a ball, and get to dance and be like all the other beautiful women at the castle.' Instantly I replied, 'Good. I have some research to complete, we must find a suitable ball, and I will return shortly. You have my word as a magical fairy that your wish shall be fulfilled.' Then I went to find Fiona."

"Ooo and she had the best idea too!" Fiona interjected.

"Thank you Fiona. You see," she said to the other fairies, "You know how whenever we grant a mortal a wish we must play with time a bit so that the mortal doesn't remember making the wish? That way they don't remember that if you find a piece of fairy regalia they get a free wish, and we don't want that getting out." The fairies nodded quickly, this was common knowledge. "So I thought, what if I let her go to a ball and that happened long before the married Jack? She might meet someone else, and have a happier life. So I looked back at the Book of Records and it said she met Jack the day after the ball for the eighteenth birthday of the Prince of the Kingdom Really Really Far Away! It was the ball that occurred also, before his marriage to his princess was set." She winked. "If Rella, well Cinderella then because her step sisters called her that and she was living in their home at the time, had stayed out all night at the ball, then she might be too tired to go to the market in the morning and stumble into Jack and his cow! But, just in case, I needed Fiona to take care of Jack."

"And so I did," stated Fiona, "Fairy God Mother told me all about Jack's," she cleared her throat, "'attitudes' on money, but I decided to take pity on him and if he wasn't going to get a wife, then at least he could get money," she said a little too innocently. Then she continued a bit gruffly, "Plus that giant never deserved that goose! So I enchanted a handful of beans to create a stalk all the way from Jack's house to the Fairy Realm and into the Giant's house. Then I simply wore a guise of a peddler and through my brilliant persuasion," she said confidently, "I got Jack to take the beans."

"What happened to the cow?" asked Fauna with a slight slur. Though impaired she didn't miss a beat.

"Well, I'd just heard at the time that Tinkerbell had gotten the job with Peter instead of me, so I gave her a 'congratulations' present." Fiona smiled.

Fauna gasped, "Oh dear I hope he didn't sit on her!"

"I hope he did," Merryweather said under her breath. Fiona heard her and giggled.

"Then the rest occurred just as you have always heard it," the Fairy God Mother continued. "Jack climbed his beanstalk, encountered the giant and got the golden goose, and Cinderella, danced with the prince and fell in love and she, not the other princess, married the prince." She smiled at Fauna.

"Then what's all the fuss about her having to leave at midnight?" Flora asked.

"That was all Rella," The Fairy God Mother replied, "It was her attempt to get home before her step family and be able to somehow carry on with her normal routine in the morning. I may have pushed the clocks back slightly to delay her." The fairies giggled.

"And they lived happily ever after," finished Fiona.

"Of course," said the Fairy God Mother.

"It's a requirement," said Flora matter-of-factly.

The fairies laughed as they relaxed in their comfy overstuffed chairs and Fauna magicked herself another glass of elderberry wine.