Changeling
Just when Ichigo thought life might return to something like normal some strangers and a strange creature appear. Now he has to deal with the possible return of some old enemies and as well as the changes in his life.
A mishap during a mission take Kankuro and Miri to a strange place, full of weird monsters, death gods, bratty kids, and a crazy fan-wielding shop keeper. Now they have to finish their mission and find their way home.
Rated at M for the language and some random yaoi-like smut. Miri and some of the bad guys are mine, the rest belong to Tite Kubo and Masashi Kishimoto.
One-Laying the Blame
When it was over and the two strangers were safely on their way home, Urahara turned to Renji. He made a gesture with his fan, almost, but not quite, pointing it at the Vice-Captain.
"Abarai-san, in the future please refrain from serving alcohol to minors. The results are never good."
"I agree completely," Ishida said.
Chad nodded.
Renji's jaw dropped. "This is not my fault!" He whipped his head around, looking for Jinta. "If it hadn't been for that brat…"
Ichigo snorted. "Some Vice-Captain you are, passing the blame onto a little kid."
"Little kid my ass! And besides…"
"Don't be so smug, Kurosaki," Ishida interrupted. He adjusted his glasses. "You should've known better then to go drinking with them. You're still a minor after all, and apparently incapable of holding your liquor."
"I wasn't that drunk, damn it!" Ichigo exclaimed. "Besides, it was…" he shot a sideways glance at Renji and his face went bright red.
Renji grinned. The whole incident had been weird, but there had been one or two bright spots.
I guess the good does sometimes balance out the bad, he thought.
He leaned a little closer to Ichigo. "Heh, yer face is all red, just like a little…"
"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo backed away, putting space between them. "I am not! And this wouldn't have happened if…if…" he whirled around and pointed at Urahara. "If you hadn't left those kids alone with that gate thingy!"
"Yeah," Renji agreed (but softly, he was still a freeloader after all).
"Hmm, perhaps." Urahara tapped his cheek with his fan and meditated on that a moment. "Maybe we should just say it was all due to a series of unrelated events that happened to converge in a certain way. You know what they say…when a butterfly flaps its wings…"
Ichigo groaned and slapped one hand over his face. "Don't say it. Just. Do. Not."
-0000-
Baki flipped through the mission report, watching page after page of Kankuro's elegant writing go by, far too many pages for a one week mission.
"What? Is there a problem? Is something missing?"
Baki looked up. "No, Kankuro, as always, it is complete and perfectly clear. But if I pass this along to the council…well you can probably guess what their reaction will be."
"Are you saying you don't believe us? What the hell, Baki? You know we'd never…"
Baki held up one hand. "I know." He tapped the report. "As far-fetched as this sounds, I know that it is true. However, there are others…"
"Yeah, I can guess who." Kankuro's lip curled into a snarl. "That idiot moron, Ibiki. This is all his damn fault, you know. This stupid mission was his idea and it's his fault that we weren't properly briefed."
"That may be true Kankuro, but still…as it stands now, this report… We cannot just…" Baki sighed and leaned back in his chair.
Just when I thought I'd seen everything, he thought, something new and strange comes along.
"Baki-san, surely you are not suggesting that we alter it? Leave out details, misdirect, out right fabricate."
Baki looked at Miri, trying to determine if she was teasing him; it was always difficult to interpret her odd accent.
"No way, not Baki. He'd never suggest something like that." Kankuro had apparently decided that she was teasing him, because his scowl had changed to a big grin. "Because shinobi never lie. Right?"
"Kankuro," Baki admonished. "Don't start, this is serious. The information in this report is sensitive at the very least and potentially dangerous in the wrong hands. The mission was not of a high enough rank…"
"That's for damn sure! And whose fault was that?"
"Kankuro!" Baki sighed again and rubbed his hand over his face. "Let's leave the issues of credibility and ranking aside for now. What I was originally going to say was: the council is going to question whether or not you completed the mission."
"We sure as hell did! Baki, you can't be telling me this!" Kankuro turned to Miri. "Can you believe this shit?"
Miri made a sound of irritation, Baki was not sure if it was in response to his comment or Kankuro's.
"I am sorry Baki-san, but I cannot quite understand how they would reach such a conclusion," she said after a few moments.
"You did not kill the creature in the end, correct?"
"That is correct."
"Well, that is the problem."
"I suppose it might be…if that had been the mission." She saw the puzzled look on Baki's face and continued, "I believe the wording was something like 'identify the source of the destruction and deal with it accordingly'."
"That's about right."
"It did not explicitly say anything like kill, eliminate, or destroy."
"No." Baki began to see where she was heading.
"The report contains an identification and demonstrates that it is no longer a threat. Therefore, the mission was a success."
"That's damn right." Something occurred to Kankuro. "It is a success! You've read the report Baki, there's no way that creature will be back; technically it doesn't exist anymore."
"That is true. I had not thought of it that way. Very clever Kankuro," Miri said.
"I thought you'd like it. And that's me; brains and good looks." Kankuro grinned at her.
"Hmm, you are rather cute sometimes."
"Cute! Like hell! Don't start with that."
Miri chuckled and flashed him a quick grin. She turned back to Baki. "If you wish, we will present our reasoning to the council. And we are prepared to deal with the issue of credibility." She rummaged in one pocket for a few moments and pulled something out. She placed it on the desk.
"What is it?"
"I am not entirely sure. But you can subject it to any sort of analysis you wish and I am confident that the results will show that it did not originate in this world."
Kankuro poked the object with one finger. "Where did you get this? It looks like a rabbit head on a tube."
"Jinta gave it to me as a parting gift. He said it was popular among the women of Sereitei, so I might like to have it." Miri shrugged. "I have no idea why that would be, but it was a sincere gift. He was even blushing a little. He was a cute little kid."
"Cute little kid my ass. That brat is a menace. It's his fault that we ended up there in the first place."
"His actions did have an impact, but fault is too strong a word, Kankuro. He did not intend for anything to happen. It was more like…"
"Yeah, yeah, don't start with that crap. Two words Miri, that's all it takes to explain it. Shit. Happens."
