Not a Romance
My life is not a romance novel
Romantic heroines aren't scientists
Left in strange places with medical databases
And alien viral protein lists
When the choice is death or being stranded
I'll play the cards that I've been handed
My life is not a romance novel
It's a heroic adventure tale
Like Homer's Odyssey I'm lost at sea
And home is my White Whale
And I the Captain, intrepid and brave
My companion: my faithful Maquis knave
My life is not a romance novel
Though perhaps Chakotay's is
The more they entwine, his turns into mine
And mine becomes like his
The romantic hero who lives to impress
Come to aid a damsel in no distress
My life is not a romance novel
I'm too cynical for happy endings
Too damaged, too raw to remain much in awe
Of love and reality-suspending
Promises and ever after vows
That ring less true than real life allows
My life is not a romance novel
Though it's conspiring to become so
With headboards, bathtubs and nighttime neck rubs
I can't deny what I evidently know
That when all is said and done we two
Are the only somebodies this place ever knew
My life is not a romance novel
My happiness is not predicated
On this rogue's affection and manly protection
He's devoted but I'm too dedicated
To gaining our freedom, to bringing us home
To our ship, our people: 'Til then we're alone
My life is not a romance novel
And yet here we remain - he and I
On our forced vacation of complete isolation
Might it have been kinder to let us die?
Or to keep us 'on ice' the rest of the way
Let stasis fields hold my demons at bay
My life is not a romance novel
But when his gaze scours my traitorous flesh
My nerves are raving - a long-ignored craving
Awakens and tears me apart afresh
There's so much longing in those eyes of his
I want to forget what was and embrace what is
My life is not a romance novel
I remind myself with every breath
It's a tragedy, but in loving me
He condemns me to loss or himself to death
For just when I think it has done its worst
The universe reminds me: I am cursed
My life is not a romance novel
But tonight I wish it were
His heartfelt fable makes me wish I were able
To allow what we both want to occur
To at last shed the shackles of command
Succumb to the sweet synergy at hand
My life is not a romance novel
And just before the walls come tumbling down
With a touch, a caress we're forced to suppress
As the static, the voice, the unwelcome sound
Of our dear friends calling to bring us back
To our ship, to our lives and we turn to pack
My life is not a romance novel
The part of it that was is at an end
After time together I know him better
Regret is a position I can't defend
Now our starship and crew lie between us
I'll bury all scraps of unseen lust
Under years of training and duranium rust
And my heart will dry out and turn to dust
And I'll never again be able to trust
Myself in his presence, although I must
My life is not a romance novel
He just makes me wish it were
