Hi there! So...My friend Marly and I did this sort of impromptu story over email a while back. After looking through it, I'd decided to put it more into "story form" and ended up coming up with an idea!
This is pretty much a way to work on lemons while having a few laughs over the few crack pairings that are in here. Actually, they'll be quite the few crack pairings.
You, of course, can request a pairing yourself. The pairing, the situation you want it on, or just leave it all up to me! Whichever works.
Disclaimer: Severe CRACKERY! I will probably refer to this story as Crackery rather than MoOXIII because well, it's what I call it. Did I mention serious OOCness? Yeah, it's pretty bad.
I also own not a single part of Kingdom Hearts, sadly.
They'll be some random "interval" chapters like this one. But for the most part it's just back-to-back lemons.
Ideas on how to connect them all are a little scarce, so any suggestions you have would be great!
When Riku hears from Demyx that Marluxia took Sora's purity, he's on an angry seme search to find and decapitate him. Couldn't this all just be a slight misunderstanding?
XOXOXOXOXO
"Rikkkkkkuuuuu! Marly took Sora's purity away!" Demyx cried out as he continued to run down the halls of Castle Oblivion in search of the darkness boy. Marluxia's eyebrow twitched in the distance, in the living room to be exact, as he heard the nocturne yelling out.
"Oh. Shit..." he murmured to himself, already feeling his impending doom and deciding now was the best time to hide, so he did. Roxas, who was right next to Marluxia at the time, coughed and shook his head as he watched the infamous flower master fleeing as fast as he could.
"What a brave, brave man. But also a soon to be dead one." He commented as Demyx finally found the living room and was just going to say hi to Roxas when Riku walked in, looking very frightful indeed.
"What did you say just Demyx?" Under such an evil death glare, Demy couldn't help but fidget nervously under the gaze. He stared at the ground and dragged his foot back and forth against the floor.
"Um...Well...I just saw Sora and he was talking about how Mar-Mar had taken...his...pur..ity…Eep?" Riku had made a deep growl, but when the two boys blinked, Riku wasn't in the room with them anymore.
"Eh? Riku?" Demyx looked turned around and looked at Roxas, confused.
"Now I wonder where he went off to..." Roxas smirked. Hell, it didn't involve him, so why not simply enjoy the festivities while they lasted? He chuckled because Riku could be heard stomping and yelling through the halls.
"MARLUXIA! I'M GOING TO RIP IT OFF IF YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO MY SORA! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CONNIVING FLOWER BOY?" It was hard not to hear the enraged seme, so even Marluxia, who was in his hiding place, shook with fear.
"He...He can't hit me. That would be like…like...Hitting a girl wouldn't it?"
Roxas and Demyx exchanged looks with a quite amused Zexion who was relaxing on the couch with a book in his hand, as always.
"Should we be worried?" Roxas asked, not really planning on being worried either way.
"I wouldn't be. That idiot deserves what's coming. Riku is the most possessive boyfriend we know, why he would even attempt this just shows how stupid he is." Zexion fingered the bridge of his nose at the loud noise that was now resounding in the castle. At least it wasn't as bad as the time Luxord lost his rum…
"Oh Zexy, don't be like that. I'm sure there's a simple explanation behind it all!" Demyx said as he plopped down on the couch and held on to his boyfriend's arm happily. Zexion only looked down at a mess of blonde hair and hid his smile by leaning his head down so his hair covered his eyes.
"I'm sure there is Demyx." He agreed, even if he didn't believe it. Though he couldn't imagine why Sora would so brightly tell Demyx he had his purity taken. He had a feeling something was amiss.
"A'ight, I have a question." The three looked to find Luxord in the doorway.
"So you heard it too." Roxas commented.
"Yea, and I'm wondering about the whole purity part."
"What about it?" Zexion asked.
"Well, doesn't that mean Riku and Sora haven't done it yet after all this time?" Everyone was silent at this question.
"That's a good point Luxord," said Xaldin as he plopped down on an empty couch.
"Maybe Sora is really just too innocent?"
"But even Demyx lost his already!" Luxord exclaimed, pointing his finger at the now defiant looking water boy.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" He whined. Zexion patted his head soothingly, if anything to keep his headache at bay for the yelling that would have ensued if he didn't calm his lover immediately.
"I'm sure he just meant that you're as clueless as Sora is on this subject, but we've overcome that and had sex." Demyx blushed at the blatant ways of his lover. He could see Luxord and Xaldin chuckling to each other and he crossed his arms in a pout.
"But seriously…There's no way they haven't done it yet…Right?" Luxord asked as he sat down and made himself comfortable.
"Well, in all actuality, I can't be for certain whether or not they have." Zexion said, making Roxas looked up to the ceiling in thought.
"I know that they've messed around, I've seen enough hickeys on Sora to prove it." He finally said.
"Yeah, and there have been times when someone else say something in conversation and Sora will blush…" Xaldin added. They all sat in thought for a moment, no one coming to any conclusions.
"I wonder if Riku has found Marluxia yet?"
Actually, Riku was having a very hard time finding Marluxia. He had begun looking in the Organization member's room. No luck with the bathrooms, though he realized just how tidy their bathrooms really were, and just how much hair products a small group of men (plus one girl) could accumulate, and it scared him. No wonder the Organization's budget was so bad.
The same went for Luxord and Xaldin's room (he'd never even seen so many bottles of rum in a liquor store. Seriously. How the hell did two people consume so much alcohol?).
He hadn't dared look in Xemnas's room, though some questionable noises were coming from Saix's room when he passed, but he tried not to think of it in hopes of keeping his sanity a bit while longer. The thought of those two rutting like rabbits made his stomach churn.
Getting rather frustrated after Axel's room hadn't held who he was looking for, although he did figure out where his favorite pair of steel toes went, Riku continued on, getting more and more enraged the longer he had to look. Exactly how many places could one hide in Castle Oblivion? Riku paused in his walking and reworded the question. Correction: How many places could that idiot Marluxia possibly have the brain capacity to find?
Growling, Riku went on with his search of the remaining member's rooms.
Off in the garden, Marluxia sat in some bushes silently keeping an eye out for any angry Riku's. His eye caught a nobody in the distance and when he turned to look at it, he found that the lowlife Dusk was...eating his flowers! Gaping at the sheer amazement of something committing such a vile act, it took him a minute before he did anything.
"MY FLOWERS! You disgusting Dusk!" he screamed, in a rather high pitched voice that he would later deny. The Dusk simply stopped in his consumption of the daffodils and slithered away, or however you'd call how they walk. Only after the nobody was gone did Marluxia realize his mistake, and just in time.
"I HEARD YOU LITTLE FLOWER BITCH!" Everyone quickly made their way towards the shout, eager to see how this would play out, they were a noisy bunch of Nobodies, but hey, they didn't have anything better to do. In addition to them, Sora came out of him and Riku's room, rubbing his eyes sleepily, being woken from his nap by the yelling.
"Riku? Why're you yelling so much? Something wrong?" he asked in a sleepy voice. Riku gasped at the sight of the love of his life and stopped in his running.
"Sora!" he exclaimed and pulled Sora into a big hug, holding him tightly.
"Oh my god! Are you okay? What did that bastard do to you?" Riku demanded even as he inspected Sora for any types of bruising or marks that he himself didn't inflict.
"What are you talking about Riku?"
"Marluxia! Did he really take your purity away?" Sora thought for a minute at the question, his drowsy mind not working too well.
"Oh, yeah, he did. Yesterday." He said finally said calmly.
"Why are you so calm about all of this?" Riku couldn't believe it! How could his sweet, sweet chocolate morsel not being completely broken from all this? Could it be that he liked Marluxia better than him…That he'd rather be with that man rather than him?
Sora tilted his head to the side quizzically as he watched the freakish emotions come and go from Riku's face.
"Eh? Well, Riku, it's only a bottle of water after all. That's really not a big deal. Even though it was my last bottle of it, and it's my favorite kind; Purity. But he was really thirsty, so I wanted to be nice." Riku blinked, then blinked again. He slowly backed away from Sora, in case he might blow up or something along those lines.
"What...? I'll be...Right back. DEMYYYX!" he screamed, his anger now on number nine. Marluxia had peeked around the corner to watch all of this and yelled out.
"RUN WATER BITCH, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" Riku paused in his sudden sprint to turn an accusatory finger on Marluxia.
"You! Why the hell did you just hide? Why didn't you tell me that you had stolen his damn water bottle!" Marluxia flinched.
"Well! You're a crazy psycho, I thought that you really would kill me over a water bottle! How was I supposed to know you thought I had taken his virginity! I'm not that stupid! Or suicidal for that matter!" He defended. Riku glared at him.
"Are you saying that you expect me to just let you do whatever you want to my Sora and allow you to get away with it?" Riku asked through gritted teeth. Marluxia looked around nervously.
"Well...Um...Uh...Roxas!"
"Why the fuck does everyone always come to me?" Roxas groaned. Axel, who had joined the party after just getting back from his mission, growled.
"Don't you dare touch him either! Just because you have Riku's uke doesn't mean you can take mine too!" He snapped out. Riku cracked his knuckles.
"You know Marluxia. I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of proving to you who's stronger..."
Xigbar sat down where Xaldin had plopped down on the floor. He handed him a tub of popcorn, freshly made.
"Oh, thanks." Xaldin said as he ate some. Xigbar nodded.
"This is absolutely hilarious, it deserves popcorn." He said as an unasked explanation. Marluxia smelled the popcorn and perked up, running over to the two.
"Ooo! Popcorn!" He skipped over to the two men, trying to hide behind them amd away from the death glares both Axel and Riku were now giving him. Why everyone was picking on him he didn't know, but then again, he wasn't sure if he wanted to risk finding out.
Xigbar and Xaldin stared blankly at Marluxia, keeping their popcorn well out of reach.
"The butter will make you fat, and you're already getting there." Xigbar stated blatantly. Xaldin shooed him away silently with his hands until Marluxia finally stood up and stepped away from them. Axel and Riku sighed as they exchanged looks.
"Well, I think today's been pretty exciting. I'm going to go 'comfort' my Roxie! Later 'Ku!" Axel called as he walked off. Riku watched him go then nodded.
"That's a good idea. Come on Sora!" he stalked off with a confused Sora in his arms, shutting the down behind them. Marluxia had only just let out his breath of relief when Saix appeared in front of him. He gulped as he looked up at the always very scary-looking man.
"Marluxia. I see you've been causing trouble again. Vexen would like to see you in his lab." An evil grin appeared on his face. Marluxia's face lit of considerably, not noticing said grin.
"He would? Wait...With or without clothes on?" he asked suspiciously. The smirk remained in place.
"I think you'll want them on as you are to be his test subject for his experiments, your punishment." He replied, Marluxia's face fell once more.
By the way, to anyone wondering about the Over-Stepping Boundaries sequel...
It was originally supposed to be up by the end up July, buuut. I may not get it done in time.
I'll try to get it finished up as soon as I can, I just honestly have no idea where I was going with it besides the lemon part. xD.
Have a good one!
