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"Please read with 1/2 width, it makes my story seem longer"
-Every fanfiction writer ever.
It was another normal day in number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging. Only, it shouldn't be called Little Whinging with the amount of it coming out of her precious Dudders' mouth. The weather was a perfectly normal 20 degrees Celsius of the early summer, and the whole of the suburb just outside of Surrey was blooming and thriving, perfectly normal people doing perfectly normal things, thought Petunia. Oh what she would give to have just one, one! Normal day…
"Mom!" "Mooooom!" "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!" Accompanying the screeching voice of her precious, precious son were the thumping footsteps coming to ruin her moment of peace. Behind them a set of calm, almost silent footfalls following could just be differentiated.
"What is it Dudders?" Petunia asked with a slightly forced smile, the corner of her thin mouth struggling a bit to stretch upwards.
"The Freak did something freakish again!"
Petunia could feel her smile drooping down and her gaze pulling towards the 'Freak'.
"What sort of freakish thing did you do now?"
Her words lacked the bite they had before. Before, she felt like she could cut through the child using just her words, and how marvelous it was watching it happen, seeing his eyes tear up, his shoulders shake and pull down… But. That just doesn't happen anymore, not since that day. It just doesn't. And Petunia, whatever faults she may have, was not that stupid not to realize that. She knew. Oh, did she know, looking into those unnaturally green eyes she saw the amusement shimmering, just waiting for an opportunity to ruin her life even more. Backtracking a bit, she turned towards her son.
"D-Dudley, listen… We agreed not to call Harry freak anymore."
"But why!?" "It's Hadrian."
Came the synchronized answer. You wouldn't ever guess this isn't the first time they've been through this. Noooo.
"Like I said, we are calling Harry- Harry now. End of discussion. Now tell me, what is the issue?"
Petunia could just feel her will to live leaving her bit by bit every time she had to solve another bloody argument. She sometimes contemplates what life would be like if she had just been born as her namesake. If she were just a pretty flower she wouldn't have to deal with this shite every day.
"The Freak- "Hadrian" made the teapot fly!"
"That-" Petunia was interrupted by a letter flying in from the chimney. She could just feel her left eye start to twitch.
"Oh! Oh! Is this the part where we go to that absurd shack in the middle of the raging sea? Oh ma gad! I am like soooo excited! I gotta go pack!" Harry- ehem- Hadrian-said just before rushing to his room under the stairs.
"What?" Was the smart question coming from Dudley. " I have no fucking idea anymore" Came the even smarter answer from Petunia.
As it turns out, the shack in the middle of the raging sea is a real thing. A honeymoon getaway they said.
Yeah she would like to get away, as far from this place as she can. And if God would help her she would run straight across the sea and never look back. But when has anyone helped her? Everything she does she has to do by herself.
"You know, all you have to do is ask."
"What?" Was her eloquent response to Harry-drian.
"It's Hadrian. About the helping thing I mean, If you want help all you have to do is ask. I don't mind helping."
"You- what- are you… Are you reading my mind?!" Is nothing sacred anymore?!
"No Aunty, you just think out loud often. But I'm serious, like, ask me, anytime."
"Ok…"
"Do you want to ask me something then?"
"Well yes… Why-"
"Why are we here in the middle of nowhere?"
"No, well yes that too, but, why do you insist on being called Hadrian? It's not your name."
"Ok, well first off- rude, I can want to be called whatever I want, it's a free country -America."
Petunia just continues looking at him with what she is sure must be a slightly concussed look.
"Second, how can you not know why I want to be called Hadrian? Like, in every fanfiction ever if Harry is actually called Hadrian he is bound to be badass, like seriously. And since I'm stuck here I might as well take advantage of everything I can, you know?"
"… No I really don't. About the- this place…"
"Ah yes… I might have gotten a bit ahead of myself there… Just a bit. You see, originally Vernon- She couldn't hold back a flinch here- was supposed to be like really pissed that I kept receiving letters from Hogwarts and so he tried to get as far away as he could and we all ended up here, and then I like celebrated my birthday alone and stuff. "
"Your birthday is on the 31st… It's the 3rd." She said, ignoring the rest of the things he just said. It's better for her if she just moved past such freakish things, and disregard them completely.
"Well yeah, I just said I got a bit ahead of myself, are you even listening to what I'm saying? Like, God! I just went through all the trouble of explaining everything to you!"
"You didn't- You… Hogwarts? This, all of this is because of that freakishness?! I'm leaving, I'm done. Dudders! Here, have this – she says throwing him a bunch of money- I am leaving, you can be here all you want, but me and Dudley are going to leave, you hear me! I want no part in this! DUDLEY! COME HERE!"
"Ok, rude. Like, no one made you come here in the first place! Go! I don't even want you here!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
That conversation, like many others, finished with a short glaring contest, and like always, it finished with Hadrian as the winner and Petunia storming off.
"Fine, I'll wait here by myself." Was the last thing she heard before slamming the door as hard as she could on her way out.
28 days later, as Hadrian was carving another notch in the wall, there was a pounding heard at the more pitiful than ever front door. As he was contemplating getting up off the floor a ding was heard from the oven, signaling that the cake was done, all that was left was to decorate it.
But.
But.
It's, like, so far away! And he didn't want to get up. It's his birthday, he shouldn't be made to do work on his birthday! How outrageous!
"Hagrid! HAGRID! THE CAKE IS BURNING! COME QUICK!"
It's a good thing he could yell without having to get up, or he wouldn't have bothered doing that either.
Boom, boom, BOOM! Was the sound of the door breaking open. If he were being honest though, it's not even a door anymore, it's just a doorway.
Ignoring the pouting not-door slumping in the round corner of the shack he rolled over to observe Hagrid. He's the same as he was before, so nothing new or interesting then.
"Hey, can you like, get the cake out of the oven? It's gonna burn if you leave it in much longer."
"Ah. AH! Yes, I mean, Yes of course! Jus' a moment…. Here we go!" Hagrid proclaimed raising the singed cake into the air.
"Yeah, thanks you idiot, you burned it!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I jus' … Don' worry, I have another one here! Made it meself, it's a bit-er- flatter than before, but we can still eat it!"
"Are you stupid? I'm like, on a diet, and that cake doesn't seem to be gluten free. That's so not watermelon."
"Gluten-free? Watermelon? Anyway, Harry m-boy! I'm here to tell you, you're goin' to Hogwarts!"
"What?"
"You're a wizard Harry!"
"I'm a what?"
"A wizard, Harry!"
"I'm a wizard?"
"Yes, a wizard?"
"What?"
"Yer a wizard Harry!"
"But I'm just Harry!"
"Well just Harry, yer a wizard!"
"Ok, first of all, my name is Hadrian, how many more times do I have to say that? Gosh!"
"Hadrian?"
"That's what I just said, also I already know I'm a wizard, Ok? You don't have to, like, keep repeating it, I'm not stupid."
"That's, well, I mean yes. Erm, we have to go shopping?"
"Are you asking me?"
"No, we have to go shopping, fer the school supplies I mean."
"Well what are you waiting for then? I've been ready for ages. Let's go."
Hagrid, deciding just then that it would just be easier for everyone if he just ignored anything strange- because magic-duh! And just followed behind Harrdrian, leaving the shack by it's lonesome, the broken door glaring daggers into his back.
"It's Hadrian."
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