A/N: I remember I attempted on writing this old prompt from my blog but I erased it. Big mistake.

I wondered why Nowaki didn't speak up during his lunch with Hiroki or noticed Hiroki tuned him out. I changed aspects from the original I wrote but I added different aspects. This would had been a great opportunity for them to bond even further through their distance. No descriptive sex in this oneshot, I didn't think it needed it.

Tell me what you think and happy reading!

-Lucicelo


Love Beyond the Seas (Oneshot)

The impact of Hiroki's words caused Nowaki's heart to race. Amazement clear on his face as he watched Hiroki from across the table. His body deflated from the previous tension. Confidence filled his body in going through with the program. Days prior, he handed in the initial papers but held off on his vital information. With those papers, it signaled his full participation. His professor informed him on the deadline many times. All his professors gave him standing ovations in their letters. Something Nowaki didn't expect but felt grateful on their words.

Hiroki's opinion always mattered to him. He worried over his lover's reaction through this process. It was a big step in his education. Through all these years, Hiroki encouraged every single one of his educational endeavors. Through the years, he saw Hiroki going through hoops for his own goals. Wanting nothing more than to catch up to him. Standing on his side as an equal. Validating his hard work through every single obstacle placed in front of him.

The lingering worry he held since childhood, dissipating into nothing. Someone who cared about him, sat right in front of him. The one helping him through this new formed journey in his life.

Nowaki gulped when he uttered with a slight smile on his face. "Right..." He ate more of his platter, his anxiety lessened down.

"Arrgh! I messed up again!" Hiroki tapped the backspace and tried keeping his temper in check. Nothing good happened when someone behaved irrational in a public space. "This is taking way longer than expected. Shit."

A thought formed inside of Nowaki's mind. This separation meant he couldn't talk with Hiroki or even visit him in person. For a year, maybe even two years. It depended on how hard he worked through his assignments. Everything rode on him focusing his attention on his schooling. Hiroki's strict tutoring prepared him well. After all, Hiroki didn't enjoy wasting valuable time. He taught him tricks in learning the material without developing headaches.

Given the chance, Nowaki knew he would drop everything to go back with Hiroki. Thinking of the long distance caused an ache in his heart. Although, alternatives existed for a reason. They had to establish some form of communication between them. A year without listening to Hiroki's voice didn't work for him.

He coughed into his hand to gain Hiroki's attention. "Hiro-san, how will we keep in touch?"

Hiroki scrunched his eyebrows kept on typing. "In touch?" He sipped his drink while he read what he wrote. Everything flowed like he thought, a good gap remained until he finished his paper.

Nowaki nodded his head while he listed their options. "Once I leave for the United States, we won't see each other for a while. Phone calls are expensive but maybe through the computer? I might have to buy a cheap laptop while I'm in New York." Nowaki sipped his soda before continuing. "I already have some money saved up."

"Hmm." Hiroki kept his eyes on the screen while he rubbed his cheek.

"Hiro-san?"

"I thought I already finished this section already. Tsk." Hiroki kissed his teeth while he checked other areas of his paper.

Maybe, Hiroki had not listened to him. Nowaki raised his voice. "Hiro-san. What do you think of what I said?"

"What?" Hiroki grumbled. "It's fine."

Nowaki furrowed his eyebrows, he didn't understand which part he spoke was fine. "Then, which option works best with you?"

"Whatever you want...take the class."

Nowaki's nose scrunched up. Maybe, he picked the wrong moment to discuss this issue. Hiroki had knowledge of his studies abroad. Although, Hiroki commenting on a class meant he heard nothing of what he said. He wanted to keep in communication with him. The pain of their separation soothed through phone calls and video calls from a laptop. He thought Hiroki jumping at an option or just explaining each one.

He reached out his hand and moved Hiroki's laptop from between them. An awful move on his part, Hiroki was in the middle of writing his paper. He wanted Hiroki to confirm this situation before he let him get lost in his work.

Hiroki snapped and glared at him in annoyance. "Nowaki, what the hell? I'm in the middle of something here!"

"Hiro-san, how are we going to keep in communication while I am in America?" Nowaki asked, keeping eye contact while he kept a firm hand on Hiroki's laptop.

Hiroki froze in his seat. His eyes widened and his jaw slacked. He studied Nowaki's face and his body, trying to figure out his lie. He didn't believe him. No recollection of Nowaki's intent on leaving abroad processed in his mind. He wondered when Nowaki even mentioned going to this trip. He assumed this information was a trick to gain his attention.

From Nowaki's serious expression, no confirmation how declaration turned into a bluff. A tactic to gather his attention for a moment. It worked. Hiroki tried figuring out Nowaki's words with no prior knowledge. In the manner Nowaki kept his laptop toward the side, his eyes never broke contact with his own. It hit Hiroki square in the face. His lover had plans on traveling away from Japan.

Hiroki rubbed the back of his neck, biting his lip, he inquired. "I don't understand. When did you come to this decision? Why do you even need to leave Japan in the first place? You still have your studies to get through."

Nowaki sighed, he released Hiroki's laptop from his grip. "Hiro-san, I just told you a few minutes ago. I explained every detail and you told me—" Nowaki turned his gaze down onto his food. "You told me I shouldn't miss such an opportunity. I have to follow my dreams and attempt to do them."

"I did?" Hiroki pondered the last few minutes, nothing resurfaced. "Did I say that? I don't remember telling you anything. When did we have this conversation?"

Nowaki tipped his head up and down. "You did." He shuffled out of his seat and stood on his feet. "I think we should take this back at your place. I realize this isn't the right area for us to speak about this." He gathered his jacket and his backpack.

Hiroki reached out to his laptop and closed it. "When are you leaving?"

Nowaki responded. "Once I get everything settled...in a week."

Hiroki stuffed his laptop in his messenger bag. "Let's go then." He stood up from his seat and they left the diner.

They said nothing on their walk to Hiroki's apartment.


On their journey back home, Hiroki walked in front of him. Silent. Nowaki noticed Hiroki glanced over his shoulder and stared at him on occasion. Nowaki closed their gap with his longer legs. Keeping up just fine. He didn't attempt to start another conversation. Everything he wanted to say would happen when they secured themselves in Hiroki's apartment. The closest in walking distance from the diner.

When they walked through the door, Nowaki watched Hiroki hang up his coat and take off his shoes. Hiroki placed them in the shoe rack. Afterwards, he left Nowaki at the front door and went inside of the living room.

Nowaki licked his lips. Kicking off his shoes, he left them on the floor. No use wasting more time putting away his shoes. As he walked toward he living room, he tried not to predict Hiroki's reaction to this news. Hiroki always encouraged his academic career. He predicted a subdued reaction. Going through his explanation inside of his mind, he entered the living room. It bothered him that he had to repeat himself again. Although, he chose the worst moment in telling Hiroki.

They were both at fault.

He sat right next to Hiroki when he asked him. "Are you upset?"

Hiroki shook his head. "Not at all. You told me everything. You're not hiding it and running off. Despite the fact, I tuned you out when you told me." He sighed and brushed back his bangs. "I stick with what I said earlier without thinking. You should take this chance and go overseas. You have worked so hard. Don't hold yourself back on my account."

"I'm so relieved we settled this misunderstanding." Nowaki rubbed Hiroki's thigh. "Hiro-san, do you want to keep in contact with me?"

Hiroki snapped his head toward Nowaki. "Of course I do! What the hell? Is this your way to imply you don't want to be with me anymore?"

Nowaki held both his hands in front of him as he assured him in a panic. "No, Hiro-san! I want us to stay together. I wouldn't dream of breaking up with you. I thought you wouldn't want to talk me when I left. I just wanted to make sure."

Hiroki flicked his finger on Nowaki's forehead. "Stupid. Why wouldn't I want to continue on talking to you?" He frowned. "I have stuck with you all these years. I'm already used to you telling me every single detail about your day."

Nowaki rubbed the sore spot on his forehead. "How will we keep talking?"

"I don't know. Phone calls? Email?" Hiroki scratched his cheek with his finger. "Damn...I have no remote clue which one to pick."

"Phone calls are expensive." Nowaki pointed out.

"Then, phone calls are once a week."

"Emails?"

"Whenever we have time."

"Video calls with a webcam?"

"Same with the emails but we have to check the time before even attempting one."

Nowaki took hold of Hiroki's hand and smiled in content. "Good. Now, I have nothing to stress out about before I have to leave."

"Stress?"

"Of course, I wanted you to know everything before I left. Although, keeping in contact with you might tempt me to return sooner."

Hiroki glared at him and growled. "Nowaki, you better complete every little assignment. Study your ass off but make sure to eat every few hours. You also need to sleep for a good few hours or else you will collapse on the street. Look at the sights and attractions wherever this your university is in."

Nowaki supplied an answer. "New York."

"Well, find time to take tours around the sights. Take pictures and all that shit. Try not to over stuff on the greasy food, someone told me American food sets heavy on the stomach." Hiroki continued on listing, using his fingers with each point he made.

Nowaki smiled through the whole time Hiroki kept on talking. He interlaced their fingers, enraptured in Hiroki's voice. When Hiroki paused he leaned close, brushing their lips together. Hiroki's face went bright red before he stood up. Halting when he realized their hands remained connected.

Guiding Hiroki back onto the couch, Nowaki kept holding onto his hand.


Nowaki stood in a small line of students who handed the professor their current work. Some got selected for the same program as well, Nowaki recognized some of them. When the last student left, Nowaki handed his paperwork to his professor. The man perked up at seeing his face and placed his manila envelope in a pile.

The man asked Nowaki with a slight grin. "It looks like you finished your remaining business here in Tokyo."

Nowaki tilted his head, inquiring. "Business?"

"You told me you needed to take care of some personal business before turning in your paperwork. I'm assuming it was family or work related."

Nowaki nodded his head when he explained. "Yes. I made sure every loose end got taken care of. I have nothing holding me back." He thought back on Hiroki's encouraging words. Knowing full well he made the best choice for himself. "Do I need to do anything else?"

The professor shook his head. "Nothing else, all students who entered the program turned everything in. You were the last one." Nowaki chuckled. "We have your housing arrangements set up and the flights booked up. You will get your information in a few days. I would suggest on packing sweaters, the weather in New York is somewhat unpredictable."

"Of course," Nowaki checked his watch, a small frame of time before his shift started. "I have to go. I have to get to work. Should I research anything else about this program?"

"Not at all, the information is in the packet we gave you." He patted Nowaki's shoulder. "Trust me, you will enjoy everything New York has to offer."

"I hope so."


Nowaki arrived earlier than his usual time.

Hiroki greeted him at the door, his eyes landed on the large suitcase behind Nowaki. Then, toward the plastic bag filled with store bought food. Holding it up, Nowaki transferred it into his hands. Nowaki bent down and kissed his lips. Light pecks which left him begging for more. Yet, Hiroki silenced himself before such words escaped his lips. He thought Nowaki read his mind because he kissed him again.

Afterwards, Nowaki stepped inside. Leaving his suitcase and carry on bag near the door. They entered the living room where they got comfortable under the low rise table. Nowaki sat right across from Hiroki, their legs bumped into each other. Causing both of them to chuckle. Nowaki stretched out his arms above his head, a yawn escaped his lips. Hiroki set the food containers on the table, sliding Nowaki's food toward him.

Smiling, Nowaki reached out his hand and clasped Hiroki's hand tight. Using his thumb, he caressed Hiroki's knuckles. The pace, slow and steady. Their food stayed closed in front of their bodies.

Hiroki tried taking his hand back but Nowaki didn't relent. "Nowaki, we have to eat."

"I know." Nowaki kept a firm grip. "But, I can eat with one hand."

"Fine," Hiroki used his mouth to separate his chopsticks apart. "You could've done this after I broke these chopsticks." Nowaki hunched his shoulders and hid a smile. "It's alright. I got it done." Chopsticks in one hand, he started eating his food. "You better start eating now, Nowaki."

"Right." Nowaki did the same one hand technique as Hiroki and ate his food.

Once they began eating, silence went through the room. No awkwardness between them. In fact, both shared glances and smiles throughout their meal. The noises of the outside world broke through the silence. A neighbor walked through the hallway with yelling children. Hiroki's eyebrow twitched but he didn't comment on it. Their voices dimmed when all passed their door.

Nowaki kept on caressing Hiroki's fingers, to keep him calm. Knowing of his dislike of noise during their late dinners. Something he picked up during these years together. He lessened his grip to an extent. Loose enough for Hiroki to take his hand back. Hiroki didn't make a move. Nowaki beamed with pure happiness.

The moment they finished their meal, Nowaki leaned across the table and kissed Hiroki. Nowaki moved around the table without breaking contact. He tangled his fingers through Hiroki's hair, he deepened their kiss. Hiroki gripped his shirt, keeping him in place.

"Hiro-san—" Nowaki panted out in need. "Please, I want.."

Between their kisses, Hiroki said with the same passion lacing his voice. "I know, I know." He took off Nowaki's shirt, tossing it over his shoulder in haste. "Couch or the bed?"

"I don't care but," Nowaki hoisted Hiroki in his arms and carried him in the bedroom. Nibbling on Hiroki's ear, growling in his ear. "I want you to think of me in this bed when I am gone."

A spike of arousal went through Hiroki's body. "Y-You! Don't get ahead of yourself!"

Nowaki put him down onto the bed as he crawled on top of him. "You feel the same way." He ran his hands all over Hiroki's chest. "Thinking of me on this bed," He leaned close to Hiroki's ear. "Making a mess out of you."

Hiroki turned his head away, his face red, heart pumping fast. "What about you then? You won't think of me besides this bed?"

Nowaki snickered. "I always have you on my mind." He pushed up Hiroki's shirt, his fingers circled Hiroki's nipples. Hardening due the coldness of the room and his ministrations. "I have your pictures as well."

Hiroki narrowed his eyes. "You actually got those pictures developed."

"Yes." Nowaki kissed him, hovering over him as Hiroki wrapped his arms around his neck. "You look so handsome," He nipped Hiroki's neck, leaving one of the first marks of the night. "Sexy." He kissed him again. "I could just eat you up."

"Liar." Hiroki gasped out as Nowaki ground their hips together.

Nowaki chuckled. "You posed for me and you told me to do whatever I wanted with them."

Hiroki rolled his eyes as he yanked Nowaki's hair with a slight smirk. "Stop talking." Nowaki whined. "We might have the whole night together but I am not in the mood to talk."

"Got it."


Hiroki ran his fingers through Nowaki's hair, "I'll—I'll miss you." Nowaki tightened his grip around his body. "Once you get your laptop, contact me." He kissed the top of Nowaki's head. "You'll go through your program without breaking a sweat. After all, you've made it this far." He hid his hot face in Nowaki's hair, transitioning his hand down Nowaki's neck.

Nowaki felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes. "Thank you," He nuzzled Hiroki's chest, trying hard not to cry out his feelings. "I don't want to leave you...but the sooner I leave, the faster I will come back."

Hiroki continued on caressing Nowaki's body. He captured the image of Nowaki's body on top of him. Those long legs peeking off his small bed. A humorous thought he kept to himself. He let an amused smile creep up on his face. Remembering the smell of Nowaki's thick black hair. The feeling of his skin underneath his fingertips. Every little detail. Just to reminisce when he felt alone during the next few years.

The thought of two years without Nowaki gnawed at him. Insecurities surfaced through his thought process. He trusted his lover not to betray him with someone else. The scenarios swirled inside his mind. One after another, a perfect person crossed Nowaki's path and he fell for them. Forgetting all about him and staying in America. He fought to push them away.

He gritted his teeth in defeat. Gripping Nowaki tight to his body.

Nowaki snuggled against him, breaking Hiroki out of his thoughts. "I love you." He sighed in bliss, murmuring this phrase under his breath again and again.

Hiroki halted his hands, keeping them on Nowaki's bare back. "Why do you keep repeating it?" His smile, concealed in the darkness of the room.

Nowaki answered him with earnest. "There won't be anymore chances for the next two years."

"I see." Hiroki closed his eyes. "You can repeat it in your phone calls and your emails. We are going to keep talking this whole time right?" Nowaki nodded his head. "Well then, save those words for then. You can repeat them as many times as you want."


Nowaki placed a kiss on Hiroki's forehead. Lingering in the contact while he kept an ear to the intercom. A tad hard due to the abundant noise of the people in the airport. He held Hiroki tight in his arms, trying hard not to pull him into a deep kiss. The urge remained inside of him. A kiss to remember and hold onto during his trip. Looking down, he noticed Hiroki averted gazing up at him. Lips in a thin line, hands clenching his thick sweater. He noticed one of his kiss marks peeking from under Hiroki's scarf. Bending down, his lips grazed the spot. Hiroki shivered in his arms.

Biting his lip, Nowaki kissed Hiroki's cheek. Hiroki didn't reprimand him. In fact, he leaned into the kiss. Hiroki stared up at him, no longer looking away from him. Each kiss went closer to Hiroki's lips. The destination Nowaki desired to kiss deep. Loosening his grip around Hiroki, he moved them up Hiroki's back. Holding onto his shirt before he decided pushing him away.

People rushed past their location. Their placement next to a wall disturbed none of the passengers rushing to their flights. Hiroki was out of sight. No one caught them in their embrace. They didn't notice anything beyond themselves. The airport filled with enough people that everyone fast walked to their destination. Nowaki's tall stature blocked Hiroki from view. He looked down and checked on his luggage.

On the night before Nowaki's flight, they slowed their usual passionate lovemaking. Anticipating caresses and kisses. Holding onto each other while trying to prolong the end. Nowaki littered Hiroki's neck and chest with numerous hickeys. Hiroki scratched up his back and left his own marks on his chest. Simple reminders which faded in time. A longer physical reminder were photos Nowaki kept in his wallet.

Nowaki asked Hiroki's permission before he thought about taking the picture. He wanted a full frontal picture. Smile or no smile. He didn't care. To his surprise, Hiroki smiled. A small one Nowaki caught before it disappeared. Hiroki even posed for a threatening one with a scowl on his face.

He might tape it on his desk to amp him up during his study sessions.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki placed his hands on Hiroki's shoulders. "I will miss you so much. "

"I— I will miss you too." Uncurling his hands from Nowaki's jacket, he fiddled with his scarf. "Remember what we talked about last night. Everything from this whole week."

Nowaki bent down and kissed Hiroki, quick enough before he reacted. "I will make you proud." He pecked him again. "Once I finish, I won't leave you for this long again."

"I will hold you on those promises." Hiroki stepped back quickly and checked the area. "Don't test me, brat." When he realized no one noticed them, he relaxed. "Come back safe."

"I will," Nowaki smiled, the intercom announced his flight. "I have to go," Nowaki held Hiroki one last time, he whispered in his ear. "I love you."

Hiroki nodded his head, he inhaled Nowaki's scent. "Don't so anything weird to my picture."

Nowaki snickered as he released Hiroki from his arms. "I have the real man waiting for me right here. I'll see you soon." He picked up his carry on bag and went toward the gate.

Hiroki watched from his spot. Keeping his gaze on Nowaki through the large amount of people. His tall stature made it easier for him. When Nowaki got his ticket back, he waved at him with eagerness. Hiroki returned the gesture in a lower scale. After that, Nowaki went through the entrance toward the airplane. Hiroki stayed put until he lost sight of him.


Days after Nowaki left to America, Hiroki dove into his schoolwork. Finishing papers at a faster rate than usual. His professors found nothing wrong with him turning in papers early. Hiroki found he had less to worry about since other classes piled on more work onto him. Work turned into his distraction from life. Prompting him on spending time in the library or cafes with internet connection. The over abundance of people chatting out loud didn't bother him. It surprised him when he broke out of concentration. Normally, he abhorred noise but his focus on his schoolwork blocked out the noise.

He kept his phone charged with the volume at full. Whenever it rang, he scrambled to snatch up his phone. He read the contact name before he calmed down. Usually, it was only Akihiko calling to bother him. Most of the time, he described new novel ideas whether he wanted to hear them or not. He tried cutting his conversations with Akihiko short with each call. It didn't help that Akihiko remained relentless in keeping him on the line.

Sometimes, his parents rang his phone. Asking him the usual questions about his life. University and his social life. Any new news for him to share. Hiroki didn't mention Nowaki. Just thinking about Nowaki made him upset. His emotions showed through his voice and they couldn't know about Nowaki yet. He wanted to present him to his parents in person. Not through a conversation on the phone.

It might happen in the distant future.

Maybe.

Although, he got the feeling he would get forced into introducing them. His parents never left him alone for long. After all, they wanted to know everything about his life outside of home. They paid for his education and just wanted him to call home often. He forgot to do it.

On certain days, he stayed at home. He needed no internet connection and any reference books were in his collection. Having tried going to a cafe near his home, jam packed with high school students, he couldn't concentrate. The earlier days of the week where he tuned everyone out didn't happen. Probably the stress of school and no phone calls from Nowaki made him impatient.

At least, he garnered the comforts of home on his return. He sat on his plush sofa, sipped some random iced tea from his fridge, and placed his laptop on the table. His phone lay right next to a pile of books. Fully charged. He worked on his newest paper, running through the requirements of the assignment. Some ideas on a starter popped into his head as he began typing. The sentences came out decent but he edited his mistakes at the end anyway.

His cellphone rang, making him turn away from his paper. Reaching his hand out, he grasped it, inspecting the caller I.D. The number wasn't from his contacts or from the area. He pressed the answer button and placed it to his ear. Ready to tell the person that they called the wrong number. Better to nip it in the bud before he received a barrage of phone calls.

He typed a few words from his train of thought onto his word document. He sighed. "Kamijou Hiroki."

His eyebrows furrowed when he noticed the mistakes. The sentence he typed made no sense when he read it. He backtracked and wrote with one hand.

"Hiro-san?"

Hiroki's hand froze in the air. "Nowaki?"

"Yes, it's me."

A smile crept on Hiroki's face as he breathed in. "I take it you made it to New York just fine." He pushed aside his laptop away from him. "Any trouble with the people in the airport? I'm sure at this point you are settling in your new place."

"I had no problems at all! I passed through customs without any delay or problems. Everything is so amazing here in New York. I am sharing my place with another student from my class. He's no trouble at all."

Hiroki laid back on his sofa and played with the loose string from his shirt. "I'm glad...you took a while to call me. I kind of assumed you were too busy exploring the city."

Nowaki laughed on his end. "Not really, I spent most of my time walking through the campus with the group. I ended up sleeping more than I usually do. I was so tired." Hiroki heard some shuffling of papers. "According to the students who took this program, I might have to reserve time after I finish big assignments to explore the city. There is a long list we have to cover for this semester alone."

Hiroki stared at his own stack of homework. "You should see my own pile, I haven't gotten through half of it." The textbooks and reference books made him frown. After this call, he had to read through a variety of books to finish his workload.

"I can imagine that you will go through everything without a problem."

"I finished some big papers in the beginning of the week but I think I'm burning out." Hiroki laid down on his sofa and stared at the word document on the screen.

"You can do it!" Nowaki cheered. "I believe in you."

Hiroki snorted. "I should be telling you this, Nowaki. You sound too cheerful for someone going through a tough program in a language he doesn't know."

Nowaki informed him. "I'm getting tutoring on my English. My roommate, Jiro, offered to help me since he has all the classes with me. He lived in America half of his life so he's fluent in the language. He can explain what the professor means while we take notes. I'm all set!"

"Lucky you." Hiroki drawled. "Now, you can flaunt your perfect English skills when you come back."

"You don't understand English? I thought you knew. At least, I thought you told me you knew English."

Hiroki cringed, wiping his face with his hand. "I can understand English just fine—it's my pronunciation that's the problem. Akihiko gave me no help in high school and just made fun of me. I stopped attempting to speak it ever since."

"Ah—then it's my turn to tutor you!" Nowaki said in pure joy. "Don't worry about messing up with me. I have immense patience and my rewards will make you want to learn." Hiroki heard another guy on the other line, he assumed it was the roommate. "I have to go now, Hiro-san."

"Alright, talk to you later. Take care."

"Love you!"

Hiroki smiled when he told him, "I love you too."


Nowaki rubbed his eyes with his closed fist. He tried keeping himself awake for another few hours. Long enough for him to absorb the material before he slept in his bed. Slapping his cheeks with his hands, he stared down at the words. He wrote down his notes on a scrap of paper. Later, he transferred them onto his notebook. Hiroki taught it to him so his notes came out crisp and neat. His vision blurred and he swayed a bit on his seat. Catching himself on time, he closed his eyes with a swear. He should had slept earlier when he returned from his last class.

He ate his late dinner with the perfect opportunity on catching some sleep. Once he laid in his comfortable bed, he couldn't sleep. His homework called to him. When he attempted on clearing his mind, the dread of incomplete work, nipped at him. He trudged himself to his desk and slumped onto his seat. Not before grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around his body.

Opening his wallet, he took out Hiroki's picture. His face brightened on seeing his familiar face. Placing a kiss on the photo, he leaned it against one of the books. Hiroki's scowl visible for him to see. A surge of energy brightened his focus and he resumed reading his textbook.

The smiling photo stayed inside of his wallet. A reminder of who waited for him back home.

Jiro knocked on his door in a cheerful tone. "Hey Nowaki! I got you a caramel macchiato from the Starbucks around the corner. The others were not kidding, it is open twenty-four hours!"

Nowaki exclaimed over his shoulder in gratefulness. "Come in!" He rolled his shoulders as Jiro walked inside with two drinks in his hands. "Thank you for bringing it for me. I was almost falling asleep on my desk before you came in."

Jiro handed Nowaki his drink with a sigh. "The line was so long. You have no idea how many students kept trying to cut in line to get their fix." He peeked at Nowaki's desk, whistling at the scattered books and papers. "Damn, you sure are determined to get through this weeks work already."

Nowaki sipped his coffee, licking his lips of the remaining caramel on his lip. "It's better to get through it before we get swamped with more work." He admitted the truth. "Honestly, I couldn't sleep while having done nothing for the day. I might stay up until I collapse on my bed. I'll move all of my books onto my bed when you leave for your room."

Jiro arched a brow. "You do know we have class in the morning right? I'm doing the same thing you are but we do need our sleep." He smirked as he boasted. "I don't want to wake you up again because you slept through your alarm clock again."

"That was one time, Jiro."

"Three times. I counted." He observed Nowaki's messy desk and located Hiroki's photo. "Ha, who's this grumpy guy? I haven't seen him before."

Nowaki sipped more of his coffee before he answered. "Someone I know back home in Japan. He posed for the picture to motivate me to study more."

Jiro's eyes widened. "You mean—this is the guy you were talking to the other day? Your adorable Hiro-san who you've been with for a few years?"

Nowaki nodded his head, responding with content. "Yes, that's him."

"Such an unflattering photo." Jiro tutted. "He should have at least modeled for a better one. I have to say, holding that book like that is a nice touch. He does look intimidating."

"He did take a good one." Nowaki grinned, Jiro snapped his head to him. "I'm not showing you that one. That one is for my eyes only."

"Ah," Jiro muttered. "Even you have naughty pictures of your boyfriend."

Nowaki's face warmed up fast. "No, it's nothing like that. I would never think about asking Hiro-san to pose for a naughty picture. I don't think he would even agree to doing that in the first place."

"I was kidding." Jiro said. "It's not like my girlfriend would pose for one either." He pouted. "I might ask her for a set as an anniversary present." He chugged some of his strong coffee. "Oh well, back to studying." Walking out of the door, he started closing the door. "If you need anything, I'll be in my room trying not to fall asleep on my desk."

Nowaki told him as he held up his cup. "Okay. Thanks again for the coffee."

"No problem." Jiro closed the door, leaving Nowaki to glance at his books with a sigh.

"Back to work."


Hiroki tried listening to Akihiko's new book but his focus strayed.

This never happened to him.

Sure, he got bored at times and thought of something else. A new book he wanted or a random topic wandered into his mind. It happened during classes which he registered for just for the requirement. Those didn't bring out the curiosity he felt during his literature classes. Although, he snapped out of it and continued on with his note taking. It never affected him to the point where his grades suffered.

He hated it when people didn't listen to him. Most people made it obvious from their facial expression. Some showed it through the lack of interaction or commentary. Now, he sat in front of his oldest friend, practically ignoring him. He nodded his head a few times. Focusing his eyes on the cancer stick in between Akihiko's teeth. A filthy habit he brought up whenever he met him. Akihiko brushed off his concerns and kept on buying them. This brought them in smoking sections in restaurants or even sit outside.

Most of the time, they met in Akihiko's apartment. An enclosed area where Akihiko freely smoked like a train. Filling the area with bitter smoke which irritated Hiroki's nose. Akihiko's ash trays overfilled whenever Hiroki stayed for a long period. He didn't clean up after him. It wasn't his job to keep Akihiko's place spotless.

Akihiko blew a line of smoke at Hiroki's face. "You're not listening."

Hiroki smacked Akihiko's shoulder with the back of his hand. "You're the one who sounds boring when explaining his own work. Try making it more interesting."

Akihiko arched a brow as he tapped the end of his cigarette on his tray. "Lies. You're usually pretty attentive whenever we are having a conversation. What's going on? Is school biting you in the ass or something?"

"I'm fine." Hiroki rolled his eyes. "You should be focusing on your own work. Writing a novel while in school is ridiculous. I couldn't do it when I attempted in high school."

"I finish my novels without any problems." Akihiko breathed in more of his cigarette. "It helps that I'm offered leniency by the company due to my rigorous schedule at university. Not that I even need it. I let them believe I had trouble focusing due to school."

Hiroki's eyebrow twitched, muttering under his breath. "Lazy ass."

Akihiko handed Hiroki the manila envelope when he asked. "So, how's your lover? The last thing you told me was that he got accepted into university."

"That was years ago," Hiroki gripped the envelope close to his chest. "Nowaki is doing just fine. He's at an overseas program to further his doctorate. He left a few months ago."

"Wow," Akihiko snuffed out his cigarette in his ash tray. "I didn't know he went into medicine. I'm impressed."

Hiroki nodded his head. "He switched majors on me and went down that path. The little shit. All those social worker resources I found for him were wasted. Either way, he stayed diligent in his work."

Akihiko took out another cigarette from the box when he pointed out. "He does know how hard medicine is right? I'm in law and I know better than to touch that field."

"He's not ignorant of that fact." Hiroki checked his phone for the time. "I have to cut this visit short. I need to go back to finishing this new assignment." Getting up from his seat, Akihiko stopped him in his tracks when he grabbed his arm. "Yes, Akihiko?"

Akihiko said in a serious voice. "I need this manuscript back in one week. Try not to overfill it with too many notes. I still need to read it."

Hiroki groaned. "I get it. Don't attack me with phone calls if I'm not back yet." He yanked his arm back and went toward the door. "I won't answer your calls if you try to bug me."

"Oh but you will answer your lover when he calls you." Akihiko sarcastically called out to Hiroki. "I see how it is. Years of friendship flushed down the toilet for a man."

"Now, I won't answer you at all. Jerk." Hiroki put on his shoes and then left the apartment.

He slammed the door harder on purpose when he left.

Akihiko laid back on his couch, sighing. "So dramatic."


Hiroki waited on the other end, tapping his finger on the keyboard.

He stared at skype while contemplating on grabbing a beer. Nowaki sent him an email earlier in the week. Informing him on a day when he earned some free time in between studying. Also, the fact that his new laptop had a webcam in it so they had a chance to stare at each other through video chat. Nowaki sent his username in the email. Hiroki found it when he put the name in the search engine. Adding him to his limited friends list.

His eyes stayed on Nowaki's username, waiting for the confirmation that he logged on. He checked the time in comparison to New York and knew he was on at the right time. Unless, Nowaki napped after classes and his studying sessions. He would wait maybe ten minutes after the allotted time before he gave up and went to make himself dinner.

Once the orange button turned green, Hiroki sat up straight. Moving the pillow around to make his legs more comfortable. He could always hop onto his sofa and keep his laptop on the table.

An incoming call appeared on the screen. Hiroki's heart jumped and he breathed in deep. Trying to brush away the nervousness at seeing him.

He accepted the call.

Nowaki appeared in sweatpants, exposing his bare chest for his view. Hiroki averted his eyes from staring at his chest. He looked at him directly in the eyes. In a way, he thought Nowaki wore no shirt on purpose. To rattle him up a bit. After all, they had not seen each other for months. Their communication came from random emails and the weekly call. Depending on the time, they caught one or the other during the night.

Hiroki sometimes woke to Nowaki snoring on the other line. Either way, those phone calls were something he looked forward to on Sundays. They attempted a Saturday but he ended it early due to an unexpected visit from his parents. Sunday was a day no one bothered to look for someone. He had all day to spare for his own entertainment.

Hiroki moved his laptop away from him. Giving Nowaki a better look at him. Nowaki's neutral face transformed into his usual sparkling smile. Hiroki gave him a small smile in return. Nowaki happily waved at him.

"I'm so happy to see you, Hiro-san!"

"You look like shit." Hiroki informed Nowaki and got a laugh as a response. "You're not even going to deny it?"

"I know I don't look flattering." Nowaki held a pillow on his arms when he yawned. "I finished studying before I called so we have a while to talk." He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "I don't know how you manage to look amazing after studying so much."

Hiroki scoffed. "Stop lying to me," He ruffled his tangled hair to the side as he scowled. "I need a hair cut more than anything."

"It's true. You look amazing in my eyes."

"What's the use arguing with you about this? You end up saying the same things over and over again."

"At least I'm consistent in my compliments." Nowaki winked before he scooted closer to his laptop. "It's so odd not talking to you face to face for so long. I know we talked on the phone but seeing your face is just incredible."

Hiroki asked him. "Yes...it's odd not seeing you around here. What took you so long to get a laptop with a webcam? I thought you managed to find a cheap one a few weeks ago."

Nowaki rubbed his face when he responded. "I dropped it when I ran late for a class on campus. I remembered to save my papers on an external drive so I didn't panic." Hiroki raised his eyebrows. "Okay, I panicked. I had to borrow Jiro's latop when I needed to complete papers. I got my laptop back yesterday."

"I can't believe you broke your laptop so fast. What happened to taking care of your things Nowaki?" Hiroki teased him, reaching inside of his shirt, he rubbed his lower back.

Nowaki averted his eyes when he chuckled nervously. "I keep oversleeping. When I woke up I collected my things and I think I didn't zip everything properly. I don't understand how this keeps happening when I used to sleep just fine back home."

Hiroki suggested. "Homesickness?"

"Maybe." Nowaki checked over his back when music blared from the other apartment. "It seems my classmates are having a party."

"You're going to cut this call short aren't you?" Hiroki inquired with a frown.

"Not at all! I told Jiro to divert everyone away from me." Nowaki informed him in excitement.

"Your excuse?" Hiroki arched a brow.

"I'm talking to the most important person in my life." Nowaki lifted a plastic bag, swinging it around. "If you have food, we can talk while we are eating. Just like the old times."

"Sure. Let me call a delivery place." Hiroki grabbed his cellphone and dialed the number from the restaurant around the corner.

While Hiroki talked with the caller, Nowaki stared at him. Placing his chin on the palm of his hand, he poked the plastic bag. Drinking in the image of his lover on the screen. It felt the same but he couldn't touch him with his bare hands. Nowaki narrowed his eyes when he noticed a stray hair. He wanted nothing more than to tuck it behind Hiroki's ear. Maybe, place a kiss on that beautiful neck.

He snapped out of it when Hiroki ended the call. Hiroki placed his phone back in his pocket and relaxed back on the couch. His hands wandered under his shirt and scratched his skin. Nowaki licked his lips.

"How long will it take?"

Hiroki answered. "Ten to fifteen minutes. Are you patient enough to wait?"

Nowaki nodded his head. "Don't worry about me, I can wait." He stood on his feet and left the screen, Hiroki heard something click. Nowaki came back and sat back down. "Just so we're not interrupted."


Nowaki wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He tossed and turned from his place on the cool floor. Keeping himself away from the light coming in from the window. The summer heat made him a tad irritable, wanting nothing more than to douse himself in icy water. Coupled with exhaustion, he craved sleep. Needed it. The heat made it impossible and he remained awake. Everything was uncomfortable. He sighed as he placed his arms above his head.

Jiro stole the shower from him when they returned from class. This annoyed him a bit but he held back his tongue. No use starting arguments in the middle of a heat wave. Besides, he would sit in the bath for an hour to cool off. Nothing else to do for the day. His work got finished earlier in the morning. Jiro wasted ten minutes to bathe due to hurrying back to either relax or study.

The door slammed open as Jiro announced. "It's all yours!" He spotted Nowaki on the floor and he arched a brow. "What are you doing down there? I thought you dealt with worse heat waves when you lived in Tokyo."

"I do."

"Then, why are you laying on the floor?"

Nowaki groaned, admitting with a huff. "I'm just so tired. I want to go to sleep but it's so hot." He rubbed his face as he sat up on the floor. "I might end up in the tub for a while. If I take too long, you are more than welcome to open the door to check on me."

"Will do," Jiro reached out his hand and helped Nowaki on his feet. "You need to schedule a better sleeping time. You're getting circles under your eyes. Wouldn't your boyfriend get worried if he sees you like this?"

Nowaki chuckled as he grabbed his towel from his drawer. "He tells me every single time we have a skype call. Before I left Japan, he told me everything I needed to do while I was here. Keeping myself well rested was one of those things. He brings it up whenever he calls me."

Jiro poked Nowaki's face, he commented. "At this rate, you might as well put on some concealer to cover that up."

Nowaki touched around his eyes. "Oh well, I can't do anything about that." He walked past Jiro and went inside of the bathroom. "If anyone calls me, come get me."

"Got it!"


Hiroki almost collapsed in exhaustion after he left his latest class. He sat on a bench near his university and tried catching his breath. He imagined his soft bed and wanted nothing more than to cuddle with his pillows. Sleeping the afternoon away and letting himself forget about university for a few hours. After a long semester, he deserved a break.

Rubbing his eyes, he checked his email from his phone. Shifting through his important messages, he deleted a good portion of old emails. He went to his starred section and his heart sped up when he read Nowaki's email address as the sender. Opening the message, he read through the whole thing.

Moments later, he pulled his cellphone close to him and he hunched his shoulders. His face went hot red. He thought it traveled all the way to his ears. Touching his ears, he cringed at the warmness. Turning his head around to check the area, he saw no one coming to his direction. He continued on reading. His left leg went restless as he got to the conclusion.

"How dare he write such sappy ass shit." Hiroki grumbled, his right thumb raised as he thought of a reply. "He knows I can't word anything remotely romantic. In writing...maybe I can come up with something." Gulping, he started typing his answer, careful in not going overboard. "Something small."

He breathed through his nose and tried calming down. His best writings came from when he felt comfortable. He tried not to copy the same topics Nowaki wrote about in his letter. After all, those words were Nowaki's feelings. Copying it seemed ridiculous. He described the closest feelings he felt the need to let out in the letter.

When he finished, he sent it before he regretted his decision.

Hiroki read his message again and licked his lips. Everything he wrote brought forth a level of embarrassment that he wanted to erase. He couldn't take it back. It sent to Nowaki's email just fine.

He groaned as he stared down at the floor. "He better not make a big deal about this."


Nowaki blew air into his hands as he waited on his hot chocolate. Shifting his muffler around his neck, he kept an ear for the name he used. Noah. A name closest to his real name. Better than using his real name and having the barista butcher it. Jiro suggested it when he used Jim as his own name on their last coffee run. Making it much easier for them to pick up their drinks before going back home.

When his drink was announced, Nowaki grabbed it and sipped it throughout his journey back home. A delicious blend of chocolate with a bit of hazelnut. The barista recommended it when he stumped on picking a drink.

Days of classes passed in a haze. Nothing more than the usual studying till he slept on his desk and waking up on time to make it to classes. Shots of strong coffee to amp him up. Trying not to rush through his projects as he completed them accordingly. Slowing down his note taking, his handwriting wasn't the most legible. It still had not improved throughout the years.

He hurried inside of his apartment. Greeting his fellow classmates when he passed them with a smile. They all waved in return, most with weary smiles after long study sessions.

Stopping in front of his door, he stuck his key inside of the lock and turned it. He opened the door and wandered inside. Kicking off his shoes, he moved them to the side. He placed his drink on the counter as he removed his muffler and coat onto the coat hanger.

He announced. "I'm back."

Silence permeated throughout the apartment. All alone without anyone to disturb him.

Not that it shocked him. Jiro told him ahead of time that his girlfriend acquired some time off from her classes. This prompted him to pack a bag and visited her out of state. Buying the first ticket at the airport before their last class of the day ended. Not even stopping to contemplate the fact that he missed a day of classes so close to their finals. Then again, Nowaki understood the sentiment in wanting to visit the person he loved.

A large ocean and numerous states separated him from Hiroki.

He sighed. Waking through the halls, he went inside of his bedroom. He dropped his bag onto his bed and slumped onto his chair. Opening his laptop, he looked through his school email. After days without checking it, he knew for sure he missed vital details. To his relief, nothing of big importance popped up. Then, he went to his personal email expecting to find a message from Hiroki. To his delight, he saw Hiroki's message. He clicked it without a second thought.

Nowaki let out a gasp of delight as he tried not to flair around. Reading through the message, he resorted moving to his bed after he finished. He laid on his bed and rolled around. After plenty of messages, Hiroki responded with something other than his classes. He let out a pleasant whine.

He cursed the distance between the both of them. His desire to smother Hiroki with kisses grew stronger.

Snatching one of his pillows, he held it close with a smile on his face.


Hiroki hurried back to his home in excitement. He gripped the strap of his backpack in a tight grip. Ignoring the sting developing in his chest, he ran up the stairs. Attempting on making little noise possible due to the hour. He heard complaints from neighbors in the past. His great mood couldn't get ruined over his heavy footsteps echoing through the hallway. Stopping in front of his door, he fished out his keys, and then opened the door. He entered inside and then closed the door behind him. Dropping his backpack on the genkan, he went toward his land line. His phone turned off on the way back.

He was eager in informing Nowaki of his newest advancement. He told his parents who expressed their happiness at his accomplishment. Even his father who sneered at his switch of majors, patted his shoulder. Giving him a proud smile and a short hug. Confusing Hiroki while his mother pulled him in her own embrace. He left their home and took the bus back home. When the bus stopped near his apartment, he bolted off.

Hiroki dialed the right numbers to Nowaki's place. Holding the phone in between his shoulder and his cheek while he went to the kitchen. The run got him winded and he wanted nothing more than to drink something cold. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a iced coffee can and popped it open. He chugged it down and cooled off without a problem.

The other line continued to ring and Hiroki tapped his foot. Leaning against the wall, he kissed his teeth. He started to lose his patience. Nowaki always answered his calls after the first few rings.

Nowaki answered in a half-asleep voice. "Hmm...Hello? Hiro-san?"

Hiroki cringed when he noticed the time on his watch. "Shit, I woke you up didn't I?" He calculated the hour in New York. "Sorry about that, I forgot you're were on a different timeline."

Nowaki laughed softly, assuring him. "I was about to wake up anyway. Don't worry about it." He yawned out loud. "Did something happen today? You never really call me outside of the usual call on Sunday."

"I have something to tell you." Hiroki explained with excitement. "I got the assistant professor role I wanted."

"Congratulations!" Nowaki exclaimed. "I knew you would get that position. When I come back, we are going to celebrate with an amazing dinner."

Hiroki let himself smile, big enough that his cheeks hurt. "Thank you. I'm sharing the office with a well respected professor. I'm going to meet him when I start setting up my place in the office. I'm hoping my first class goes well."

"You have nothing to worry about. After all, you tutored me and look where I am. Studying in America due to your amazing teaching skills and thriving through medical school."

Hiroki scoffed. "Nowaki, you tried way too hard to impress me. I wondered if you lied about needing my help. You managed to finish everything with perfect scores every single time." He sipped his drink, smacking his lips. "I knew you kept staring at me whenever I wasn't looking." Nowaki laughed on the other line. "Ah, so you admit it."

"It was a surprise that I understood everything you showed me. I have not studied school subjects in years before I worked. It helped that you explained everything in explicit detail. In fact, you are an amazing tutor to those who want to learn. I will admit that I couldn't help but look at you. I fell for you when I first laid eyes on you."

"So you claim." Hiroki sipped more of his drink, satisfied with Nowaki's answer. "Anything new?"

"Hmm...I'm finishing some projects that are due in the end of the week. I might complete everything soon." Nowaki yawned.

"Good. We can't have you slacking off. You have one more year left to go after all."

"Yes...one year..." Nowaki trailed out. "Almost...done..."

Hiroki heard Nowaki snoozing on the other end. He waited a bit before he ended the call.


Dear Hiro-san,

Throughout these months apart, I waited for the moment when I returned home to your side. It sounds like a lovely thought. I think about it whenever I have time to think about you. All this studying sort of fried my brain at times. The coffee helps keep me up during the night. Your picture really helped to lift my spirits during the times I doubted myself. Hearing your voice through our shared phone and skype calls.

I dreamed about holding you in my arms while we share a kiss. Sharing my experiences with you while we drink tea and snuggling close on the couch. I can imagine you telling me to stop being cheesy. It's just how I am. You knew about this when we got together. I assume you love hearing my words because you end up holding me close. You have no idea how happy that makes me.

Checking the calendar, I know you're in the middle of finalizing your projects but I hope you get this on time. I have some good news.

The program is complete and I'm coming back home.

I'll send a follow up email for the time and day I arrive at the airport.

I love you. I'll see you soon.

Nowaki Kusama


Hiroki flopped onto his bed. Molding his body to the softness as he closed his eyes. He burrowed his face into his pillow. Imagining Nowaki's warm body in its place. Wanting nothing more than to hear his heartbeat underneath his face. He sighed. Throughout the year he spent alone, he pushed himself through his own studies. The unexpected phone calls and video chats online turned into a staple of his normal routine. They even sent emails to each other, Nowaki wrote heartfelt letters which never failed to make his heart flutter. Hiroki didn't erase them from his inbox.

His face warmed up as he moved his pillow on top of his head. When Nowaki returned, he hoped a surge of forgetfulness wiped these emails off of Nowaki's brain. He didn't desire a recollection of these sappy paragraphs of love. In his subconscious, he desired hearing those words coming from Nowaki's own mouth. Listening to his earnest voice, holding his hand while he recited beautiful words about him.

He stared at the time on his alarm. His stomach growled out loud, he groaned and hid his face in his sheets. After spending a whole day at university, he forgot to buy something to eat. Preparing anything at such a late hour was out of the question. Later on, he'd have to get up to turn off all the lights he left on. A big mistake on his part.

Knock. Knock.

Hiroki lifted his head from his pillow. "What the—" He checked his clock again, he expected no one at such a late hour.

Scrambling out of bed, Hiroki left his bedroom and made his way toward the front door. Careful in his steps while grabbing something to defend himself. One of this thicker books. He didn't know who stood at his front door and he needed a defense. Holding it behind his back, he checked the peephole. His grip slacked and the book fell to the floor with a slam.

Am I hallucinating? Opening the door, Hiroki curled his fingers around the doorknob. His lover stood in front of him. Sporting his usual grin. His clothing disheveled with bags under his eyes. Nowaki fulfilled his promise. He returned into his life.

After moments of silence, Nowaki took a step forward to enter inside. Assuming, he caught Hiroki in a half asleep state. Stretching out his arms to pull Hiroki into an overdue embrace. Hiroki slammed the door in his face.

Nowaki exclaimed. "Hiro-san!"

"Shit. He's actually here." Hiroki opened the door, rubbing his eyes as he tried to decipher his dreams from reality.

"Why did you slam the door in my face?" Nowaki entered inside Hiroki's apartment. "I know you hate surprises but I didn't think you would react this way. You must not have read my email." He moved his suitcase next to the shoe rack. "Anyway..I finished everything in the program." Nowaki grinned as he stood in front of Hiroki with his hands on his hips. "I won't be leaving Japan ever again."

Hiroki gripped the front of Nowaki's shirt, pulling him close. "You should had called me on the phone instead. I haven't looked in my email for a week." Nowaki kicked the door closed behind him. "Are you sure you don't have to go back overseas?" Nowaki nodded his head. "Good." He connected their lips.

Nowaki wrapped his arms around Hiroki. His hands rested on the small of Hiroki's back, gripping the clothing tight. Closing his eyes. He resisted the urge to push him against the wall and deepen their kiss. Breaking the kiss, he nipped down Hiroki's neck. Hiroki groaned as he sucked on a specific spot.

Hiroki broke from his stupor as he pushed Nowaki away from his body. "You go and take a long shower. I'm not going to keep kissing a smelly man. Go on." Nowaki chuckled and kissed him again. "Nowaki."

Nowaki put his hands up in defense and walked backwards toward the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

Hiroki heard the shower turning on. He hauled Nowaki's suitcase further inside of his apartment. Pulling the suitcase toward the living room and made sure it stayed in the corner. Nowaki's singing broke through the pitter patter of the shower.

Hiroki slumped onto his couch. Covering his eyes with the back of his hand, a smile formed on his face.

The end