He's never been happier to return to Coruscant… The great towering buildings, the constant rush of air traffic, the ever warm temperature… Everything. In this moment Anakin swears to himself there is nothing he hasn't missed about the urban planet. However there are some things he has missed far more than others. The closer the shuttle brings them to the Senate, the quicker his heart beats, pleading to be reunited with her once more before her memory scars him painfully. It's been far, far too long since his eyes have taken in the sight of her, since his arms have held her close… Just knowing he is minutes away from reuniting with her makes him wish to leap out of the transport and run until he finds her.
It's more challenging than he lets on to sit still beside Obi-Wan and pretend his body isn't damn near trembling in excitement. He's been gone a year… Twelve long months defending the Outer Rim Sieges, being kept away from her… Perhaps it is wrong, but Anakin thanks the Force for the Chancellor's abduction. If it weren't for that, Padme's Gods only know when the Council would bring him back here again. The shuttle moves quickly, but not nearly quickly enough for his satisfaction, and it feels like gruelling hours later, not minutes, that he is watching the shuttle take off again with Obi-Wan inside, leaving him to deal with the gossip mongering HoloNews journalists, and narrow eyed Senators alone.
As usual the docking bay outside the Senate building is crowded, but today it feels oppressive, he wants nothing more than to push everyone out of the way until he finds her. How much longer is he to stand this torture? She could be anywhere, he can sense her presence close by and barely suppresses his grin. A year apart from his beloved wife surely must have earned him at least some right to relinquish this firm control he's struggling to maintain… Anakin quickly scans the small sea of Senators surrounding the Chancellor in the hopes that she's there, waiting for him, alas there is no sign of her. He is in no mood for a game of chases right now, there are other, much more pleasurable games he'd much rather be playing.
It has been a year after all.
Unfortunately, before he can begin his hunt, Bail Organa gets to him and Anakin attempts to smile at the Senator. Behind them he hears R2 and Threepio chatting away and finds himself beginning to envy the droids… Their reunion is quickly begun and public, there's nothing he'd rather do than take her into his arms where everybody can see them and let people think what they will. For now, they are kept in the shadows, wishing desperately for the light.
They walk at a leisurely pace, and he thanks Organa for his complements… Anakin can see why Padme respects this man so greatly, they're very likeminded, however, there is something about the Senator that has always kept him on edge in the man's presence. Strange now that he feels it less than before, the tenseness he's come to expect whenever Organa is nearby is all but non-existent. Perhaps he's just been gone too long, and a little time shall return the feelings. Stepping a little further into the spacious Senate building, he's half-heartedly speaking of the hunt for Grievous when by chance; he happens to glance over the shoulder of the man beside him and very nearly freezes.
There she is…
After so long of merely dreaming of her night after night, the sight of her – the true sight of her standing mere steps away from him is enough to send his heart leaping up, into his throat. He has to be with her, now, damn the Senator and their talk. As politely as he can, Anakin excuses himself, and waits the too long, agonising seconds until the party is far enough away so they will not see what happens by the great pillars to the side. When the distance between them is enough, he can stand it no longer and rushes toward her, running in his desperation to touch her again. They collide quickly, arms closing around one another tightly and at once he spins her, unable to keep still in his jubilation.
The feel of her once more in his arms coupled with the sweet scent of her is enough to drive him near mad… There have been times throughout this separation where he feared he'd never have this again. Her relieved sighs are balms to his soul… She's every bit as happy with their reunion as he is and the confirmation makes his heart soar with glee. He's missed everything about her, everything… The feel of her now, of her hand in his hair, of her body pressed against his is finally soothing the deep ache her absence has created. Her lips seek his and Anakin is more than happy to oblige. The kiss isn't gentle, it's almost desperate, and yet it is far from the kiss he wants to give her and its over far too quickly for his tastes.
"Oh Anakin…" She murmurs, those soft hands travelling to cup his face, and for a moment he's too content with her presence to as much as open his eyes. After so long apart, hearing her voice again doesn't feel real. He's managed to catch a speech or two of hers on the HoloNet but the transmission was always interrupted some way or another, and nothing compares to the reality of her anyway. His own hands are far from idle, his gloved hand comes to rest on her slim waist while the other cups her own face, needing to feel her skin beneath his in whatever he can right now. He's almost forgotten how soft she is…
After a moment they embrace again, the desperation of the moment begins to calm somewhat and yet another relieved sigh escapes her lips. The sound of it goes straight below his waist… He hasn't had the chance to draw sounds like that from her sweet mouth in too long. Perhaps it shouldn't, but his mind envisions what awaits them at home, in her luxurious apartment and his body begins to harden with his imaginings of being tangled up with her once more between the sheets of their bed.
"I've missed you Padme…" He breathes her name for the first time again, aroused already at the mere prospect of getting her alone, and pulls back to look at her face again. He's missed that face. Though there's nobody around to hear them, their voices are scarcely above whispers, it feels private, intimate, as if no one and nothing can interrupt them. He dares them to try; he'll cut them down with his lightsaber if they do…
"Anakin," she pauses, breaking their eye contact for a moment and brings her hands up to touch his chest. It's only then he notices she's shaking like a leaf… At once he seeks to soothe her in whatever way he can but she doesn't allow him to pull her close again, instead swallowing nervously in a way that makes his eyes narrow suspiciously. What's going on? Part of him wants to simply reach out with the Force and see what's in her mind, but the more rational side of him knows she'll kill him if he tries. "How long will your briefing with everyone inside take?"
"I'm not sure, an hour perhaps, two at the most. Why?" He wishes to get home just as much as she does, but there's something else, he can sense this without invading her privacy. The longer she delays in telling him, the worse the scenarios his mind envisions. Her joy at seeing him again has been eclipsed by this… Whatever it is, that much is clear to see on her face.
"It… It can wait until we're home." Once more she reaches up to touch his face and Anakin leans into the touch, relishing the feel of her. "It's nothing bad Ani, I promise. Come, everyone will be wondering where you are… The Republic needs its poster boy."
When all is said and done, he endures a silent journey home with her. He should return to the Temple, to avoid any suspicion but whatever Padme has to tell him is more important than that. He'll make an excuse to Obi-Wan… Whatever it takes. Though Padme doesn't say a word, he can tell she's nervous. All the signs are there, he doesn't need the Force to see them, he is her husband after all, and he knows her every habit by now. Even as he pilots them through Coruscant's busy sky, Anakin's mind drifts to the fact he's missed an entire year of her life… A year. He missed every morning she awoke, every night when she retired, her birthday and their forth wedding anniversary. He missed it all.
Were there ever times where she began to believe he wouldn't return to her this time? Began to give up on him? He prays there were none, the last thing he wants is Padme of all people to lose faith in him, she's the only one who truly trusts him. Not even Obi-Wan completely fits into such a category despite everything they've been through together. This is not the time to think of such things, his focus should be entirely on his wife and what's plaguing her mind. Why they must wait until they're inside the apartment to speak of it, he doesn't understand, they're alone now after all, isn't this the perfect time?
He brings the ship to hover by the open veranda and climbs out to help Padme out too. He'd climb back inside the cruiser to take it back to the building's hanger bay if Captain Typho did not offer to do just that for him. Anakin smiles appreciatively at the man, grateful he has been here to keep his wife safe throughout his prolonged absence. Despite her silence, Padme's hand slips into his and leads him further inside. Anakin wants to ask her now what's going on, but waits. She needs a little time first, and he'll give her that, even if the desire to know is a burning one. He shrugs off his cloak onto the couch and watches Padme unfasten her own, much thicker and undoubtedly more expensive cloak and fold it up, stepping quietly toward the wardrobe. Now he's here, it doesn't feel like a year has passed since he last stepped foot in this place…
"Oh you're back!" Dorme steps out of their bedroom, and smiles his way, something he returns quickly before returning his gaze to Padme. She looks more nervous now than she did before and it's becoming difficult to keep his questions to himself. She promised it wasn't a bad thing… So why is she so afraid to tell him?
"Yes… How are they Dorme?" At this Anakin's eyebrow raises. They? Who is this "they"? He can sense something in the bedroom… Quite what, he isn't sure… But there is something there, and he suspects it's the cause of all this tension. The sooner she tells him what it is, the better for his sanity. Dorme throws a strange glance his way and he doesn't know what to make of it… She obviously knows exactly what is going on, and being the only one without the knowledge is growing quickly frustrating.
"They're… Fine…" She trails off, giving a slow nod which is mirrored by Padme. "I think I'll leave you two to it." The woman mutters, walking quickly toward the main door, leading to the elevator. The moment she is gone, Anakin feels his patience come close to snapping point. Whatever is going on here, he needs to know…
"Padme-" he begins but isn't allowed to continue as she holds up a hand and nods.
"I know… Ani, much has changed since you left. I wanted to tell you, but there was no way of contacting you, not without others in the room. Frankly I'm surprised you never found out through the HoloNews, it was everywhere…" Padme rambles a little and he frowns, attempting to keep up with her quick words. After a moment he steps closer to her, and she meets him halfway, taking his hands into her own with a small squeeze. "There were so many rumours that you'd been killed… You and Obi-Wan. The Chancellor has been going half mad with his demands to the Council to bring you back here long before now… It's the first issue I've agreed with him on in a long time. I was so afraid that I'd lost you for good…" She trails off and Anakin sees the tears in her eyes and pulls her close again, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
She shouldn't have had to go through that, he is alive and well. He can't imagine what it would be like, if the roles were reversed and he was falsely informed of her death… It's too awful to think about. He cannot begin to fathom a life without her… "I'm sorry… I'm alright…" He pulls back to look upon her face, cupping her cheek with his gloved hand and manages to smile somehow. "I'll always come back to you Padme… Death can't have me. I promise you." A single tear spills over onto her cheek and he wipes it away with the thumb of his flesh hand, smiling wider when she smiles back at him.
"I know… I know that." He feels her trembling hands just above his waist, and waits. Whatever is going on, he senses she's on the verge of telling him and it's not a moment too soon. "Like I said, much has changed since you've been gone… Something… Wonderful has happened." Her eyes watch his carefully, nervously, and Anakin nods, glad of the confirmation that this is indeed something positive. He is sorely in need of good news after the trials of the Outer Rim Sieges and their… Adventures.
"What is it?"
She presses her lips together for a moment, then nods more so to herself he suspects, than him. Her hand slips into his again and his thumb brushes across her knuckles. "There's someone you have to meet – two of them actually." Anakin says nothing, merely frowns as she leads him toward the bedroom… He was right; whatever presence he can sense in there is important. When they reach the door, Padme hesitates for a moment before pressing the button and allowing them to slide open. She gestures for him to step inside first and he does as commanded, assuming she'll follow behind him. For a moment, he's confused… There's nothing out of place in here, save for…
A crib beside the bed.
A crib? No… It can't be, his eyes must be playing tricks on him, they have to be! He would have known… Wouldn't he? Surely he would have felt something if… If there was a baby, his baby. A small gurgling sound comes from the crib confirming not only its existence but also that of the tiny creature inside it. At once Anakin turns to face Padme, mind racing. She's standing back against the wall, looking something close to terrified. She's afraid of his reaction, he realises… They never discussed children before, not really. Is she afraid he isn't happy?
Anakin doesn't know how he feels right now. He is a… Father… He's a father. He has a child! For a moment none of it registers in his mind, it's far too much to sink in, in much too little time. Slowly, his gaze wonders back to the crib, where his child lays and takes a step toward it, then another and another, until finally he can peer into it and the sight awaiting him almost makes his legs give in.
Not baby, babies. Twins… He has children.
It takes several long moments, but it dawns on him that they're the most beautiful little things he's ever laid eyes on in all his life. Both are sleeping, blissfully unaware of his presence… They've never known him, when they wake, they won't know who he is. "Anakin?" He hears Padme behind him, but says nothing, eyes still focused on the children. "Please say something…"
"Did you…" He trails off, breaking his gaze from the children and looking at his wife once more; he isn't entirely sure what he's asking her. There's countless questions fighting for their turn in his mind, and he doesn't know which to ask first. "Did you go through all of this on your own?" He should have been here… To hear the news, to support her… To see his children brought into the world. If he'd known, nothing, nothing would have kept him away from this. The rest of the Galaxy could crumble away to dust so long as he got to be here with her, with them.
"At first… But after five or so months I was afraid you wouldn't be back in time, so I went home to Naboo. I told my family everything… They're very eager to meet you again…" He nods, glancing back at the sleeping children, and waits, sensing there's more to her answer than what she's said. "I gave birth to them in Varykino, my mother and sister were there. Sabe and Dorme have also been invaluable." He should have been there. It should have been him holding her hand and comforting her while she endured the labour pains. "I stayed there for a month afterwards, the Queen was understanding and offered me the time off when news broke of my pregnancy. The scandal was all people talked about for so long… I was so worried you'd find out that way."
He almost wishes he had, at least then he would have known. "I'm sorry I wasn't there… If I'd known, I would have come back."
"Ani it's not your fault… You didn't know." Padme tries to soothe him, but for the first time she fails miserably.
"I should have! I should have sensed them… Or dreamt of them… Anything!" It's only when Padme looks past him worriedly, toward the crib that he realises how loud he's being. He doesn't want to wake them from their rest, not yet. "Sorry." He murmurs quietly, lowering his voice and sighs, raising his eyes to the ceiling. Before he knows it, he feels her arms wrapping around him and he's helpless to her embrace, wrapping his own arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder. He has missed everything… Every kick they gave her within the womb, their first breaths, every little change in them, and every development they've experienced so far. He should have been here, as their father to experience it with them. He's missed out on the first part of their lives completely. The thought breaks his heart.
Those are memories he will never have with them, he'll never have the recollection of those first fond moments spent with them on the day of their birth, or the bliss of the month she spent in Naboo surrounded by family and their children. It's not fair, Anakin can't stand it. He wishes more than anything to turn time back to find a way to be there with her. Finally, he pulls back; fighting back tears as he looks at her, especially after seeing tears of her own in her eyes, the sight only worsens his pain.
"What are their names?" He should have asked this sooner, but it only occurs to him now that he hasn't asked. Padme sniffles and steps toward the crib, looking down at their children with the sweetest smile he's ever seen, and reaches down, touching the face of the baby closest to her softly with the back of her finger. "This is Luke…" Luke… His son, his boy… He has a son… Padme reaches to touch the other one, that same smile in place even while she fights back tears. "And this is Leia." He has a daughter… A perfect little girl…
He can't believe it. He is the father of two perfect, wonderful children and he had no idea. If the Chancellor hadn't been taken, how much more of their lives would he have missed out on? How much will he miss if this war continues and he is sent off into battle over and over again?
"I know you had no part in naming them, I'll understand if you don't like-"
"No, they're perfect…" He murmurs, once more unable to look away from the sleeping children. His sleeping children. How could something so pure have possibly come of any part of him? Anakin is in awe of them and they haven't so much as opened their eyes. "What do people think?" Nobody knows they're his, that much Anakin has gathered. The media storm her pregnancy caused must surely have gotten tongues wagging with speculation on the children's father.
"They're fatherless; at least that's what anything official says. Like me, they don't carry your name… Bail offered to claim them, publically, as a pretence of course, but I couldn't allow such a thing." At once he tenses, meeting Padme's eyes again. It's bad enough, that the world believes his children are fatherless, that they themselves have never known him at all throughout their short lives, but another man almost claiming them as his own? It's sickening… It's infuriating. Anakin doesn't know what he'd have done if she'd gone through with it. His fists clench by his sides as he struggles to contain the fury at the idea of Bail Organa being presumed the father of his children.
"I will claim them. I want the world to know who they are Padme; I want them – and you – to use your true name. Hiding our marriage is one thing, but I won't hide them too, they deserve better than that." They deserve better than him, they deserve a father who can give them everything…
"Anakin-"
"I know there is a high chance I'll be expelled from the Order, but I don't care. I won't miss anything else." Padme's arms come around him again, and he leans down, pressing his lips to hers briefly in a chaste kiss which she returns twice over, smiling against his lips. Anakin pulls back before his own smile blooms. There's trouble ahead, it's not going to be easy, but none of that matters right now. He has been blessed with the most wonderful gift a man could ever wish for… Something he's longed for since leaving his mother behind on Tattooine at nine years old. Family. He has a family of his own now, and Anakin will spend every single day of the remainder of his life cherishing them.
"When it comes out you're their father and that we've been married this entire time, I doubt the Queen will allow me to continue serving as Senator, but there are other things I can do… But if I lose my position, I think I'll take some time to focus on us, and our family. I want to make new memories to make up for everything you've missed out on my love." Her hand comes up to brush through his hair, and for a moment, Anakin fears he may lose what semblance of control he has over the unshed tears in his eyes.
"How old are they?" He asks, wondering just how long he's been a father without knowing it.
"Three months."
Three months… He's missed every day of their short lives… Well he'll make sure they'll never know a life without him again… He swears it to every God there may be, to the Force itself, nothing will come between him and his children ever. Untangling himself from Padme, Anakin hears a small grunt from behind them and turns to see Luke's eyes opening sleepily, followed quickly by a yawn that threatens to tear his heart asunder. His boy has his eyes… And from what he can tell from the wisps of hair across his head, his hair too. Beside her brother, Leia continues sleeping peacefully.
Anakin glances at Padme who smiles down at Luke softly, reaching out to touch his face again and swallows thickly. "Can… Can I?"
His meaning immediately registers in her mind and the smile falls from her face as she regards him, sad suddenly. For a moment he fears she'll reject him, until she speaks, "Anakin, they're yours every bit as much as they're mine. You don't have to ask to pick him up. Sit down and I'll show you how." He's grateful for the offer, he's only held two children in his life, and neither were human, nor, were they his. He isn't quite sure how is best to do it.
Anakin watches Padme lift Luke up, out of the crib and whisper a quiet greeting as he eases himself down onto the edge of the bed. The idea that he is about to hold his son for the first time is… Surreal. All at once he is elated, excited and completely terrified. What if he drops him? Could he wield the Force fast enough to catch him? Or what if he cries? He has a lot to learn… All of that is quickly forgotten when Padme carefully deposits the baby into his waiting arms and shows him how best to hold him.
Luke's even more perfect up close… Leia will be just the same, he is sure of it. Anakin can't stop the smile that breaks out across his lips, even if he wanted to stop it, he couldn't. Luke's big blue eyes watch him intently, and after a moment, a toothless smile stretches across his lips tearing a breathless laugh from his father… There are simply no words to truly justify how he feels right now. No language has conceived of something to truly capture it. Once more he feels a tear leaving a wet trail along his cheek, but this time it's borne of pure happiness…
"Have you had their midichlorian count tested? If they've inherited a count even somewhat close to mine, the Council will want to train them." He asks as the prospect of losing these precious children so soon after discovering their existence tears its way into his mind. The Jedi are relentless with Younglings… He's heard of them being torn from their mother's arms more than once. He will not let that happen.
"No… I paid a doctor or two off to keep them untested. I wanted to wait until you were back for that very reason." Nodding, Anakin remains quiet for a moment. She did the right thing, if their count is high, there would have been questions she wouldn't have been able to answer. His children would have been taken from him before he had a chance to truly know them and forge a bond.
"What are we going to do? When you tell the Council, they'll demand a test be taken for each of them. Anakin, I can't lose them…" If he wasn't afraid of dropping Luke, he would have stood up to comfort her, unfortunately for now, he is confined to the bed. They aren't going to lose the twins; he'll fight every Master on the Council if he must. If anything, Anakin himself is living proof a child doesn't have to be trained from infancy to master the ways of the Force. Perhaps they'll listen to him…
"We're not going to worry about anything right now… Everything will be alright, I promise you."
Anakin lifts his flesh hand to stroke his son's cheek gently, adoring how soft his skin is beneath his own, much rougher skin. "I know you don't know who I am…" He whispers to the child in his arms. "That's alright. I'm your father Luke, and I swear you'll never know a life without me again." Leaning down, he presses a kiss to Luke's forehead, eyes closing as he relishes the moment. He can't wait for Leia to wake, to repeat this with his daughter too… Can't wait to see those eyes, to find out if she's taken after him or her mother.
Looking up, Anakin sees Padme watching them, hand covering her mouth with yet more unshed tears shining in her eyes but he suspects much like his own, they're happy tears. Come tomorrow life as he knows it will never be the same, everything has already changed, everything has been different while he even knew it… But come tomorrow, he'll go to the Council and Obi-Wan and claim his children as his own and never look back. Finally, his family can come out of the shadows and have the freedom they've always craved. Whether he loses his place in the Order or the code is rewritten to suit the ever changing times, none of it matters. Anakin doesn't need the titles of General, Knight or even one day Master… He's been given a new, much more important title, one he'll carry proudly for the rest of his life. Father. All he can hope to do is live up to such an honour, and by the Force he intends to try.
