Who I Am
I'm not a Nazi. Of course I pride myself on being tough; I mean, what intern would respect me if I weren't firm? But I'm not a Nazi.
First and foremost, I'm a mother. Isn't it amazing how a baby can change a person? I never thought I could love anyone so much. Children give me hope. Now I know that may sound silly to you, but it's true. When I learned I was pregnant, the first person I called was my mother. I remember her saying, "Children are God's way of telling us that the world should go on." Now that I have William I realize what truth there is in that statement. His whole life lies ahead of him, and he can become anything he wants to be. Would I encourage him to be a doctor? I don't know yet. But I'll tell you what I am going to encourage my son to do. To follow his dreams. I followed mine. I knew I wanted to help people and that's what I'm doing.
Secondly, I'm a wife. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming to be some Susie Homemaker. My husband knows how committed I am to my career and he's fine with it. I honestly don't think I could get by without him. Marriage is all about support. We're there for each other, for better or for worse. I really love being a wife. So many doctors go home to an empty apartment…I'm glad to say that isn't me. I love having a family to go home to. It's nice to be able to leave your work at the workplace, you know? Anyway my husband is wonderful. He's handsome, intelligent, generous, affectionate, and he's an incredible father, which is what I now value most about him.
Thirdly, I'm a doctor; and damn proud to be one. I am professional, respectable, hard working, and good at what I do. With the exception of giving birth to my son, I believe that becoming a doctor was my crowning achievement. It gives me the chance to save people, and I love it. Certainly my job is demanding, exhausting and oftentimes frustrating; but the stress is worth it! It's worth it when you can look at a person and say, "He is alive because of me. I saved his life." Now I'm not saying I try to play God in what I do. I just mean this: people don't get sick or injured on purpose. They come to us because they are hurt…sometimes physically, yes, but sometimes spiritually too. It's our job as doctors to fix their hurts. And what better to lift someone's spirit than to learn that their cancer is in remission or that their unborn baby is healthy? The mind believes what the body feels…does that make sense? That's why I love my job.
I guess I get the "Nazi" reputation because this job is so important to me; because people are so important to me. It's not about being competitive, it's not about being the doctor with the biggest heart, it's not about who you sleep with or who you want to sleep with, it's not about appearances, it's not about the money…being a doctor is about helping people; about saving people, about mending bodies and spirits. If I'm holding somebody's life in my hands, I should take that seriously. And if taking my job seriously makes me a Nazi, then just call me Hitler.
