Title: Can't Say A Word
Author: Anneka O'Carter
Summary: "And I feel like I'm falling through, you're not there to hold me up."
A/N: Feedback appreciated. First in the Stand By Me series...and totally, totally AU! Thanks to Christina, my beta who endured me drafting and redrafting this! But this series is dedicated to my good friend (and beta) Jenn - I'll always be here as long as you need me…and things will get better, I promise.
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*So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
That's all I give 'cause you're all that I've got *
"Faint" by Linkin Park
*
The couch was uncomfortable, bending her body into awkward positions and consequently, she couldn't turn her head to even look at the door that was ringing so insistently, which sounded freakily reminiscent of her alarm clock. Looking at the digital time-piece on the TV, she sighed. 8:53 on a school day and she hadn't even got dressed. Crap.
Almost crawling to the door, she opened it expecting to see her father apologetically smiling and promising that "it'll be the last time" he forgets to ring. But instead she sees Major Carter and Major Davis standing on the porch in dress uniform.
"Um, hi." She said rubbing her eyes with fisted hands. The sunlight is harsh on her vision and she has to squint to stop it hurting. They nod in response and she's wondering whether she's supposed to invite them in. "Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not ready for school yet so do you want to tell me whatever you've come to tell me?"
Major Carter, she forgets to call her Sam now, looks down at the floor uncomfortably and Major Davis remains silent but she's so tired she can't even think about what that might mean. "Thankyou Chloe." Major Carter finally answers and they follow her into the open plan living room and she offers them both a seat.
"So, what is it then?" She asks nervously eyeing the clock and wondering whether it would be possible to kick these two out, get dressed and drive to school in seven minutes flat.
"You're aware that your father had a mission last week?" Major Davis asked steadily, his voice expressing no emotion.
"Uh, yes." She answers nonchalantly. She's got used to the regular Air Force visits. "He wasn't sure when he was going to get back. Why?" Chloe replied, still not understanding what the pair were doing sitting in her house without her dad right behind them.
"Things didn't go quite to plan." Major Carter explained, nearing closer to Chloe. "We lost many good men- -"
But Major Carter didn't finish her sentence as Chloe had already begun to piece together what happened. "No…Dad…he…Dad has to be OK. Please, *tell* me that he's OK?" She said forcefully.
Major Davis looked down into his lap. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this but the Air Force are officially recognising your father as missing in action. No body has been recovered but it's highly unlikely he survived the attack. I'm very sorry Miss O'Neill."
And two well-decorated, experienced officers sat in front of a teenager falling apart.
*
She sobbed uncontrollably in Jack's bedroom as people filtered in and out throughout the day with Daniel handling all the messages of condolences and during times when there were no visitors expressing their sadness, he sat outside the door. Just making sure she knew he was there.
And he knew what she felt like. Her parents, like his, were now both dead. As far as he knew, her grandparents were either senile and in a home or deceased too. No aunts and uncles. No-one.
Completely alone.
And in her grief, Chloe couldn't see beyond the next hour, but Daniel still feeling the sorrow for his best friend's death, imagined the worst case scenario that reminded him of a conversation he had six years ago when Chloe arrived after Sara first died;
*Jack looked towards the young sleeping girl and sighed and turned back towards his friend. "I see what you're saying Daniel, but there's nothing I can do about it." He replied rationally. "She's my daughter and I'm not having her go into a foster family or live with a third cousin twice removed."
"You're never going to see her Jack." When his friend began to protest, Daniel talked over him. "You can't deny that, but if this is what you think Chloe needs, then far be it for me to say anything different."
Jack looked sombrely at Daniel and took a small sip of his beer. "That girl has been through more in ten years than most people go through in a lifetime. I'm not handing her over to some nameless person because I think my career is more important than my own daughter." Pausing, he considered his words carefully. "In five years, I'm not sure I'll still be working at the base Daniel. I'm getting older and so's Chloe. I want to see her grow up and have kids instead of not being invited to her wedding because she grew to hate me..."*
Daniel ran to the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl. Chloe had lost everyone important in her life, her brother and her parents. The only thing Jack ever asked for was for Chloe to be looked after if he wasn't around to do it himself.
But everyone had grown and gained themselves new lives with no space for an orphaned teenager.
*
She wasn't sure how long she'd been crying. It felt like weeks that she had been curled up on his bed, crying into the pillow that still smelt of him. And it was worse when she opened her eyes; seeing the family photos proudly displayed on his bedside table made her sob even harder.
Her legs were weak as she lifted herself of his bed, wondering whether Daniel was still in the house pretending that he was actually worried about her when all he was doing was assuaging his guilt that he hadn't seen her in the last two months.
She opened the door, half expecting his body to fall through but she was relieved that he'd moved from that particular spot. She was hoping that he'd left altogether; all he wanted to do was "talk" about her "feelings".
Chloe was pretty sure that her feelings were obvious.
Creeping down the stairs, she saw various cards on the table with sad wreaths on the front and sympathetic messages. Scanning the kitchen she saw a note from Daniel telling her that he was buying some groceries and he'd be back in an hour. Scrunching up the note, she chucked it into the bin and sat at the island at the middle of the kitchen.
Her high school had been told of the situation and she was relieved that she could have as many absent days as was necessary; she'd need them to organise the funeral.
Daniel and Major Carter would insist on helping, but *she* was the closest person to him, blood wise anyway, so didn't she have the right to organise what was going to happen?
And as that train of thought ended, she noticed that she was ambling through the house and her feet had taken her to his office where he used to reluctantly finish paperwork and she'd often sit on the opposite side of the table, feet up and read magazines, both of them talking incessantly about nothing in particular.
His laptop memory had been copied and then erased, just in case she decided to hack into her father's computer on the day she was told he died. Even she wasn't that weird…
He'd always told her that…that she was weird. And she'd joked that she'd obviously inherited it from him; he denied it as much as was possible, but even he must have been certain that he was just slightly eccentric.
And as memories flooded through her head, she slumped into the seat, remembering that he'd never sit and type furiously at the computer, or tell her the ending of a Simpsons episode that he'd seen three times already. He'd never cook her breakfast in the morning after she'd spent all night waiting for him to come home.
He'd never tell her that she was the most important thing in his life.
*
She stood at the edge of the river, tears running freely down her face. Her chest heaved with pain but she still held the picture tightly in her hands, the force of her grip crumpling the edges.
If he could have been here, he would have said that he didn't want anyone moping about him, much less her. He would've told her to go to a hockey match and try to live her life without him.
But what did he know? He never knew the paralysing fear when the telephone rang as she sat on the couch, waiting for him to come home a day after he was due; waiting for the phone to ring, and desperately praying that it didn't. He didn't know that her mind was constantly fixed on him when he was at work, knowing that "deep space radar telemetry" was an excuse and a pathetic one at that and knowing that he was probably risking his life everyday.
All she knew in that one moment in time was that standing in the deserted forest, saying goodbye to her dead father, was that her fears were warranted. She always knew one day he'd never come back.
She took one last look at the picture she held, both their smiles beaming out and his arm loosely hanging round her shoulder. When she'd first moved to Colorado Springs after her mother had died from a heart attack, she never thought she'd be that happy. She never thought she'd smile again, but he brought her out of herself.
The picture was of her 16th birthday party outside in their garden when he'd bought her driving lessons and a car, telling her *"I have enough money, I might as well spend it on someone who'll appreciate it and there's no-one more deserving of it than you…."* That smile was before he'd even given her the present, she was just happy that he was alive standing next to her on her birthday and being a regular father.
She dropped the picture into the fast flowing river and watched as it floated past the rest of the attendees, her fierce gaze scorning those who were supposed to be helping her.
They were so self-involved that they couldn't see she was falling apart. And they thought she didn't know, but she did. She'd be in foster care as soon as a family was found to take care of her.
She wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't.
And if his "friends" weren't going to help her, then she'd have to do it herself.
*
Days passed and turned into weeks and Samantha Carter, USAF sat in the car outside *the* house and waited. She wasn't sure what but she knew that she couldn't go in straight away; seeing Chloe torn apart was too hard for her to bear.
So instead she stared at the house from the dark car, occasionally seeing Chloe's shadow move about behind the closed curtains, lying to Tim and pretending that she was at work when she was watching the daughter of the dead man she'd fallen in love with six years ago and hadn't stop wanting all those years.
Finally gathering the courage to face Chloe, she walked slowly up the path, momentarily pausing to make sure that she had the words to face her. She hesitantly knocked on the door, a sudden rush of panic rising in her throat. She heard a slow plod of footsteps in the silent night and Chloe reaching to open the door.
"Chloe." She said and noticed the fall in Chloe's red eyed face. She'd obviously been crying.
"Major Carter." She responded plainly and Sam sighed.
"You can call me Sam once in a while. I'm pretty certain it won't hurt you." She tried to joke, but Chloe was having none of it. Years ago, she'd never had imagined that she and Chloe would be so distant, but times change, and so do people.
"I'd rather not." Chloe replied, her face expressing no emotion.
After a moment of silence, Sam gestured towards inside the house. "Would it be alright if I came in?"
Chloe wordlessly stood back and let Sam into the house and closed the door loudly behind her. She walked into the living room indecisively as she spotted the piles of photos adorning the coffee table and knowing that she had walked in on a very private moment for Chloe.
"Sorry about the mess." Chloe commented flatly, saying the sentiment without meaning. It was obvious that Chloe wanted Sam nowhere near her.
"You should have said…I wouldn't have come in." Sam replied, taking a seat nervously as Chloe sat on the floor cross legged and browsed through the photos.
"Yes you would." Chloe replied. She knew that this fake concern that everyone had for her was just to ease their worries that they weren't "helping" her to cope with the grief. If they really wanted to understand, then they'd talk *with* her and not *to* her.
Sam visibly swallowed and coughed uncomfortably. "How are you feeling?" She asked, desperately searching for something to say.
"How do you think I'm feeling?" Chloe looked up with a venom that shocked Sam; she looked so bitter yet so despairing at the same time. "My father's dead, I'm not exactly having a raving party as you can see."
"It was a stupid question, I'm sorry." Sam apologised feeling that nothing she said could make Chloe think less of her. Watching Chloe lovingly look through the photos and put them away in various albums, she felt so guilty. "Do you want any help?"
Chloe looked up this time, a flicker of a smile passing on her lips. Looking her direct in the eyes, Chloe spoke quietly, "If you don't mind…" Suddenly Sam was throwing her a rope, trying to pull her out of the suffocating water.
"I'd love to." Sam said enthusiastically and crawled onto the floor, taking a cushion with her to perch on. Sitting next to Chloe, the girl passed her some photos and showed the albums with her family's names on them and gave her intricate directions with what to do with them. Sam watched as she precisely tucked away the photos and knew that this was a diversionary tactic to avoid thinking about her father.
A photo was passed over of a wet Chloe and Charlie hugging each other and holding a football in between them. "That's really nice." Sam commented and Chloe nodded, a look of long forgotten happiness passing over her face.
"Yeah…I remember that day. Dad took some time off work and uh, he took me and Charlie to this water park. And he took that after we'd played with the ball in the swimming pool. I just followed Charlie around everywhere….he used to pretend to hate it, but I think he loved me worshipping him like that." Chloe said quietly, remembering when her life was so simple and cheerful.
"I did the same to my brother…I think he secretly loved it too. Not that he'd admit it even now." Sam commented and she heard a small chuckle from Chloe.
"If he's anything like you, he'd be too stubborn." Chloe muttered and Sam laughed.
"Thanks very much(!)" Sam laughed and felt a surge of happiness when she saw Chloe smile too and edge nearer towards her becoming more open with just those few words.
And Chloe picked up another photo and passed it over, "This is when dad decided that a green wig would be a really good look…"
*
They'd spent two hours sorting through the photos and Chloe had become increasingly relaxed around Sam, but still sticking to the name of "Major Carter", but if Sam was honest, she wasn't bothered, she just wanted to talk to Chloe after all this time.
As Chloe explained another photo, Sam yawned and looked at her watch. Chloe's eyes flamed irrationally and she jumped up from the floor. "Keeping you from a date with *Tim*?" She spat angrily.
Sam looked puzzled until she realised that Chloe must have witnessed her innocuously checking the time. "Chloe, all I wondered was what the time was…I wasn't suggesting I was bored…" Sam defended herself but to the hyper-sensitive Chloe, she'd already decided what Sam's intentions were.
"I think you should leave." She said steadily, walking to the front door and opening it, a gush of cold air entering the house.
"Chloe, can I just explain…?" Sam asked desperately and Chloe stood with an impassive look on her face.
"I should have realised…" She spoke as calmly as possible. "I should have known that you were just here to get rid of your guilt and then disappear for another six months." Chloe seethed. "You're just like the rest of them."
"What "rest of them", Chloe?" Sam asked, nearing closer to the door. "We all care about you, we're trying to help you."
"Help? *Help*?" She stormed angrily. "If that's your kind of help, then I'd rather not have any at all."
Sam looked down at the floor, the failures mounting up inside her head. "I'm sorry…"
"I don't care whether you're sorry." Chloe spat. "You should have done something about it then….You told me my dad was dead and then just left!" She said, tears crawling out of her eyes. "I would have preferred a nameless soldier telling me over the phone rather than what you did!"
"I'm sorry…"Sam started again.
"You're *always* sorry, but that doesn't change anything. I thought I might have meant something to you, I thought you might have had an ounce of sympathy for me, but there was just nothing…. All I wanted was someone to tell me everything was gonna be OK." Chloe paused to catch her breath. "I think you should leave Major Carter. It's for the best."
"Chloe, please…."
"No!" She said angrily, and then calmed her voice. "No. If any of you cared *at all* then you would have visited me more than once, three weeks ago…now can you go? And I'd rather if you didn't come round again."
Sam stepped wordlessly out of the door and into the cold night air. Walking down the path, she turned round but the door was already closed.
On the other side, Chloe leaned against the door and slipped to the floor in tears.
*
Sam swirled the coffee round in her mug, refraining from taking a sip and Daniel knew that something was on her mind. Chloe most likely, he thought knowing that she was always popping into his mind and he just guiltily shoved all thoughts of her away.
"Sam?" He called walking over to her table and Sam looked up, the faint smile on her lips never reaching her eyes.
"Daniel." She greeted him and pulled her food towards her to make room for his tray. "How are you doing with that translation?" She asked but Daniel knew she didn't really care either way. Teal'c had obliquely mentioned something about an argument between the pair when he'd almost interrogated Sam about why Chloe was tearfully rejecting visitors.
He spoke softly and about nothing in particular until he broke the drone of his own voice by asking her a question, "Are you going to tell me or do I have to wait until I pester Chloe enough?"
Sam looked up to him with slightly watery eyes, "I never realised how much pain she was in Daniel. I knew that she was upset, but God, I just…I never saw."
"What did she say to you?" He asked.
"She said that she didn't want our help…and that…none of us helped her when she really needed it." Sam swallowed deeply, stopping the tears from escaping her tired eyes. "And I realised that she was right."
Daniel looked guiltily into his food. "Sam, we're all grieving for Jack and…"
"And nothing Daniel!" She said, struggling to stop her voice raising several decibels. "She's his *daughter* and we didn't do *anything*. And you know that if the roles were reversed, the Colonel would have done anything for one of our children to help them."
"I tried…I really did." Daniel explained. "But it brought back everything, every feeling and every ounce of pain back. And I couldn't say a word."
"I think we should do something for her." She said suddenly.
"Like what?" Daniel asked, puzzled.
"Maybe we could take her to the cabin or something…spend some proper time with her. Just you, me, Teal'c and her." Sam suggested and Daniel nodded.
"It sounds good. Like a family remembrance." He replied. "You think Chloe would be OK with that?"
"Would Chloe O'Neill be "OK" with what?" A voice behind them asked and Teal'c took a place at the table, both Sam and Daniel making space for his piled tray.
"We were thinking about taking Chloe to the cabin….spending time with her…to try and make up for not being there for her these past weeks." Daniel explained and the Jaffa lowered his head.
"I believe that it is a suitable idea but do you think that Chloe will give her permission?" Teal'c asked. "She is still grieving incredibly for the passing of O'Neill."
"Maybe this will help her Teal'c. As far as I know, she hasn't talked to anyone about this has she?" Sam reasoned. "I think talking about what she's thinking might help her realise that we can understand what she's feeling too."
But before her two friends could answer, an airwoman approached the table nervously. "Major Carter, there's a call waiting for you at the front desk."
"Who is it?" She asked.
"Um…" The airwoman looked down at the piece of paper in her hand. "It's the principal of Colorado Springs High School, ma'am. She's calling about Chloe O'Neill." The airwoman replied awkwardly, as like the rest of the base she knew that Chloe wasn't coping with Colonel O'Neill's death.
Sam turned to Teal'c and Daniel with a frown. "What's that about?" Daniel asked with a concerned expression.
"I'm going to have to go and find out." She left the mess hall and walked to the front desk.
*
Picking up the telephone, Sam introduced herself. "Major Carter speaking."
An older woman spoke on the other end. "Hello Ms Carter, I'm Principal Yardley from Colorado Springs High School. I'm sorry to inconvenience you but I'm calling about Chloe O'Neill….you were a close friend of her father's, weren't you?"
"Yes…um, how did you get this number?" Sam asked.
"We searched Chloe's locker and this was the first number we found in the address book." Principal Yardley explained.
"You searched Chloe's locker? Why on Earth did you do that?" Sam exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Ms Carter but Chloe was very distant all day and during the 11:30-12:30 lesson, she walked out and we haven't seen her since." Principal Yardley explained. "And because of the news about her father, we weren't sure who to call and tell about what's happened."
"Thankyou for ringing me." Sam blew a sigh of relief. She was grateful that they had searched her locker otherwise she wouldn't know that Chloe had run out of class until she tried to ring her about the proposed trip.
"I'm sure that Chloe is alright." The principal said, "But with all the upset she's had to cope with in the past month we were more than concerned for her."
"I'll make sure that she's OK and I'll telephone the school when I've found her." Sam reassured the principal.
"I do hope she's feeling alright. Chloe's a very valued pupil at the school and she's doing so well." The principal said genuinely with a hint of sadness, "Anyway Ms Carter, I'll let you get on."
"Thankyou Principal Yardley." Sam replied and they hung up.
Walking hurriedly back to the mess hall she relayed the information to Teal'c and Daniel and assured them that she could look for Chloe alone; "If there's just one of us, we won't overwhelm her."
Finally getting out of the base, she practically sprinted to her car and drove speedily to the O'Neill house in the suburbs.
*
A sudden rush of fear welled up when she noticed that Chloe's much loved car was missing from the drive but regardlessly Sam ran up to the door and was about to ring on the doorbell when she noticed that the door wasn't locked.
Pulling the gun out of her holster, she walked hesitantly around the house, checking cupboards and rooms until she was sure the house was empty.
Walking into the kitchen, she closed a half open window and looked to the kitchen table where a piece of paper was held down with a mug. Creeping over hesitantly, she ripped the paper away and a photo fell onto the floor.
Kneeling down, she picked it up and read the writing on the back *"Dad and me, 16th birthday, West Ridge Forest"* and turned the photo over to look at the two faces staring out.
It couldn't have been taken long ago as Chloe's hair was similar in length and she could tell it was summer because of all of the blooming flowers. Jack's arms encased Chloe's body and she couldn't have looked happier if she tried. Jack smiled towards the photographer, she presumed it was probably Teal'c because of his new-found love of cameras, and he looked blissfully happy.
Sam always knew that Chloe was the spitting image of Colonel O'Neill but in this photo she could have sworn that she was his (much) younger twin. Her eyes and hair were as deeply brown as his, and her face was pale yet alive.
She'd almost been carried away by looking at the photo until she felt the fluttering of the paper in her hands. Securing the photo underneath the mug, she read the hand-written note carefully.
*Dear Sam, Murray and Daniel
I can't believe I'm writing this; it seems like the ultimate cliché, doesn't it? And I know that Jack "I am morally opposed to clichés" O'Neill would hate his daughter using one, but he's not here to stop me, is he?
I know I can't write how much you mean to me, because otherwise I wouldn't be doing this, but despite everything I've said and done, you three really are special to me. I hope you never change and that you don't forget me and that you'll tell you children about me and dad.
I really hope so because someone should remember us.
If dad was here now, he'd tell me I was being selfish and an utter idiot, but I just can't help myself. Everyone's leaving me now, and it's only a matter of time before you leave me too, so I'm abandoning you before you would have abandoned me. You're all adults and getting new lives, and I have no place in them.
Dad was the only person that I could talk to without him judging me or looking at me and being disappointed with who I am and what I've become, and I've lost him now. And I miss my brother. And my mom. I miss all of them too much to live. It hurts me inside and I hope that you can understand what I feel.
I'm so sorry, and I hope one day you can think of me without hate or anger, or disappointment. I pray that your lives will be happy and free of pain and that you can support your children the way my father did for me.
I say goodbye with love and hope in my heart for your lives. Please never forget me.
All my love forever and ever,
Chloe*
Sam stood in the kitchen, gasping for breath, her throat dry and parched. How could she not have seen what was now so obvious? Chloe was absolutely alone, the only family she had were dead. Where would she rather be?
She had to stop her, save her. She had to finally do the right thing and stop Chloe making the worst mistake of her short life.
And suddenly the picture laying underneath the mug caught her eye. The last time she had been truly happy with the Colonel, the last time she'd been carefree only worrying about her essay deadlines and what to watch on TV that night.
And now, where her father's "final resting place" was.
*
The first thing she saw was the car. The distinctive blue Fifties convertible that the Colonel had spent a bomb on repairing, and the car that Chloe adored so much.
She jumped out of the car and ran to the side of the bridge which she'd come across before entering the forest and when she saw the car, she'd pressed on the brakes and almost skidded to a halt.
Taking a deep breath, she looked over the edge, not knowing what the hell to expect and praying that there was nothing at all and that she'd merely misinterpreted the blatant letter.
There was a deafening silence as she watched the waters flow below on the jagged rocks below and she couldn't help but gag as she thought of what the devastated girl had decided to do.
Then as if out of nowhere, a tiny voice spoke, "I'm here." Sam spun round at the speed of light to see Chloe standing as plain as day in front of her. Sam didn't care what Chloe thought as she grappled to hug the girl who stood freezing cold and motionless, not returning the embrace.
"Jesus, I thought you'd…" Sam started but couldn't finish.
"I was going to. I so badly wanted to." She said in that same quiet, tender voice as Sam manoeuvred Chloe to her warm car.
"What stopped you?" Sam asked as she opened the door and sat Chloe down carefully in the passenger's seat.
"I just kept thinking about dad…I just stood there and I saw his face…and…" She said, her teeth chattering in the blustery wind. "And I realised I was the last thing left of his life…and that I couldn't end his dream of this perfect family by taking the coward's way out and jumping from a bridge."
Sam touched Chloe's pale, almost blue, hand. "You were right. This isn't what the Colonel wanted for you."
"His name's Jack." She said, staring soulfully into Sam's eyes. "Why don't you call him that? He's dead y'know, he can't hear you."
Sam looked away instantly, her eyes flashing with an emotion she wasn't ready to deal with. "This isn't about me and you know it."
"Isn't it?" Chloe replied, surprisingly talkative after her brave choice only a few minutes ago. "Isn't this about you and your amazing inability to own up to your feelings about a man who died a month ago?"
"I don't know what you mean…" Sam started the well worn excuse but Chloe had obviously had enough.
"Of course you don't. I mean, you were just in love with the guy for the past six years, but of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about so what's the point discussing it, right?" She said sarcastically.
"Chloe, you've obviously got a hold of the wrong end of the stick somehow." Sam replied as steadily as she could manage as she knelt in front of the freezing and stern teenager.
"You know what? I can't think of any other reason why the hell you haven't come to see me." Chloe said, her tone of voice more sympathising than their bitter argument weeks ago.
"What about Daniel and Murray?" Sam reasoned. "You blamed all of us that night"
"Sam, I know what Daniel went through with his parents. I know that the grief of dad's death coupled with what happened to his own mom and dad probably made the situation ten times worse for him." Chloe explained. "And as much as I love Murray, he's not exactly a "hugs and cuddles" kind of guy." She smirked.
And as Sam looked into the eyes of the only remaining O'Neill that she knew of, she saw all of the reasons why she couldn't help Chloe in the ways she needed most. "What?" Chloe asked the motionless Sam who just kept staring at her. "Sam, what's wrong?"
"I look at you, and I see him." She said slowly and quietly, rising to full height and moving away to the bars of the bridge. "I look at your smile and the way that you talk and your eyes….and all I can see is him." Sam said, her eyes struggling to hold back the tears. "And I just know, that if I'd said something, anything…maybe he wouldn't have been there."
"He'd have jumped through hoops to please you." Chloe said from behind Sam who turned round to face the girl.
"Maybe if I'd have been less scared of the future and just opened my eyes for one goddamn second, if only I could have seen what was right in front of me." She looked out over the beautiful scene in front of her. "He could've retired…and I could have told him what he meant to me."
"He knew." Chloe reassured the surprisingly vulnerable Air Force Major standing in front of her. "He always knew."
Wiping her eyes, she spoke, "God, the one thing he would have wanted me to do was to protect you and I've done nothing." Sam gripped the rails making her knuckles whiten.
"You're here now, aren't you?" Chloe said putting her hand over Sam's. "Protecting me."
"You are so much like him." She said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Chloe's ear and taking her hand to walk towards the car. "He'd be so proud of you."
"I'd like to think so." She joked but her face paled as she neared the car and Sam got out her keys to start the engine. "No." Chloe said plainly, backing away.
"What?" Sam said, more than slightly confused.
"I-I-I…I can't go back to *that* house." She protested, tugging her hand away but Sam held on too tight.
"What do you mean?"
"My house…I can't spend another minute in there. It's so quiet and lonely…I can feel every second pass by, it's so painful." Chloe said, her brown eyes staring into Sam's mournfully. "Please don't take me back there."
"How about if I come with you?"
"Come back with me?" Chloe repeated.
"Mmm. Get a take-out, get you in some warm clothes." She suggested and Chloe's face lit up.
"I just can't be alone…it's too much." Chloe said shivering in the cold.
"Well you wont be." Sam reassured her, "Cause I'm going to be there with you all the way."
*
"I can't do this." Chloe panicked wringing her hands and pacing up and down the small waiting area.
"You'll be fine. She's just a principal, not a monster." Sam said and continued to read one of the magazines placed on the coffee table in front of her.
"I *really* don't think I can do this." Chloe slumped down into the free chair. "I could barely tell you about what I was feeling, let alone Principal Yardley."
"You don't have to tell her everything…you can tell her nothing. I just think you should make her aware of what troubles you're having at the moment so some teachers can make allowances when you need them." Sam explained rationally. "And I can't exactly go on my own, she'd wonder who the heck I was!"
Chloe smiled and sat silently until Principal Yardley's secretary showed them through to the office.
Taking a deep breath, Chloe knocked on the door. "Enter." She opened the door and the woman sitting at the desk rose and smiled.
"Chloe. It's so nice to see you again." She said genuinely and step forward to shake her hand. "And this must be Ms Doctor-Major Carter….which do you prefer?" She asked smiling.
"I'm not too fussed." She said with a smile and shook the offered hand and sat down on a chair opposite.
"Well I'm glad that you're both here and I understand Chloe that it must be hard for you to speak to me, but it's best if I'm aware of all the information so that the faculty can make sure that you're not under too much pressure." Principal Yardley explained and Chloe smiled weakly.
"Thankyou Miss." She said meekly.
"Well Ms Carter, is it right you're applying for legal guardian status?" She asked, looking through a thick file on her desk.
"Uh, yes that's right. I'm currently living with Chloe at her house on her request, but unfortunately I'm not at home 24/7 because of my work commitments." Sam explained and briefly touched Chloe's hand, "But I'm planning on being there as much as humanly possible."
"I'm just glad Chloe's getting the support she needs from someone she loves." Principal Yardley said still browsing through pages of writing.
"I love her very much, and I'm going to make sure that her life stays as normal as it can do." Sam smiled at Chloe.
"Chloe, how do you feel about returning to school on Monday?" Principal Yardley asked.
"That'd be great. I'm kinda getting bored at home but Sam's insisting I rest." Chloe rolled her eyes.
"I think Ms Carter's right, but as long as she doesn't mind, then we'd love to have you back here on the 14th, if that's OK?" She looked towards Sam who nodded her agreement. "I think that's settled then. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
Chloe stayed silent until Sam un-subtly coughed. "Uh, yes Miss Yardley. Um, Sam was wondering whether I could have an appointment with the school counsellor."
Principal Yardley nodded and cleared her throat. "And you're fine with that?"
Chloe's eyes flicked to Sam and then back to her Principal. "I'm not sure if it'll help but I might as well try it. Nothing to lose, is there?"
*
She could feel her mouth practically watering as Sam ordered the takeout over the phone but as much as she was loathed to admit it, her homework had to be done. And Sam insisted there was " no food until you've finished that pile of work."
Such a slave driver.
Sam wandered into the living room with a science journal and a glass of wine in hand and slumped onto the couch behind where Chloe was sitting on the floor at the coffee table. "Should be here in half an hour, you gonna be finished by then?" She said, affectionately rubbing Chloe's hair.
"Mmm." Chloe replied and then turned round. "Sa-am?"
"Yes?" She replied, her eyes still scanning a supposedly interesting article.
"Where's that "Science for Dummies" book?" Chloe rested her elbows on Sam's knees. "It'd really help me with the homework."
"You're supposed to do it without." Sam stopped reading and looked at Chloe with suspicious eyes, "You know that."
"*Please*?" She said in her best puppy dog expression that always used to work amazingly well on her dad.
Sam relented with a smile that suggested she knew exactly what Chloe's tactics were, but wasn't too bothered, "Fine. It's in my bedroom, first drawer in the cabinet." Sam gave instructions as Chloe started to climb the stairs, desperate to finish her chemistry homework and knowing that her notes were *definitely* not neat enough to be of any help.
Pushing open the door of Sam's room, previously where the guests (or Daniel and Murray) stayed, she zoomed in towards the bedside cabinet loaded down with heavy text books and an array of astrophysics essays that would send Chloe to sleep in a second.
Chloe opened the drawer carefully, praying that the book would be safely sitting in there, just ready for her to cheat on the homework. Breathing a sigh of relief as she saw the familiar yellow cover she grabbed it and was about to close the drawer when she noticed a heavy book underneath and out of pure curiosity sat down on Sam's bed, book in hand.
She leafed through a few pages before turning to the cover with a horrified face. Chloe convinced herself to believe that this wasn't what she thought and she tried to allay her fears by looking through a few more pages, knowing that one title couldn't explain a whole book.
But then the title had been pretty explicit.
Taking a deep breath, Chloe was just about to put the book away and pretend that she'd never found it when she heard Sam's voice just outside the door, "Did you find the book? I thought it was in the-" She started but stopped immediately when she saw what was in Chloe's hands. "Oh."
"Oh? *Oh*?" Chloe repeated. "Is that all you can say?"
"I didn't mean for you to find it." Sam explained hurriedly.
"Obviously not, because otherwise you wouldn't have bought it." Chloe sighed. "I can't *believe* you thought this would help….you know what, I can't believe you thought we even *needed* help."
"We don't-" Sam tried desperately to account for the book that Chloe was now gesturing wildly with.
"So why the *hell* did you have this?" Chloe flicked through the pages, "It looks pretty well read to me…and look, even some folded down corners. Pages of interest huh?"
But Sam suddenly saw that she didn't have to apologise. She was trying to help Chloe, but she was so narrow minded she couldn't see past the fact that Sam hadn't told her that she'd bought some stupid book. "Why on Earth did you think I'd buy a book like this? I don't want to read it for fun, I want to help you."
"Help? God, Sam…."Coping With Bereavement in Adolescents", I can't believe you'd buy into this." Chloe said frustratedly. "If you want to know what I'm feeling, why don't you talk to me?"
"Because for a sixteen year old girl who I'm supposed to be looking after, you're pretty threatening." Sam quipped, raising a smile from Chloe who looked up with wide, deep brown, familiar eyes.
"I don't mean to be, it's just….so much has happened to me Sam. And now it's like I can't even grieve for dad separately from Charlie and mom. It's as though because I spent years crying over my brother, that I should feel different because of dad. That it should be easier or something." Chloe explained flopping onto the bed and Sam perched on the end.
"No-one thinks that." Sam tried to explain, "You know how much everyone wants to help. I thought we sorted this months ago."
"I thought we did too. I thought we understood each other Sam." Chloe said. "For some odd reason, I had this notion that you could talk to me without worrying whether I was going to blow up in your face." Chloe paused, "Now I realise I was wrong."
"This is exactly why I don't want to approach you with things." Sam explained, "Every time you talk about what's happened, you're angry, and I don't blame you. At all. I'm not discussing everything because I don't want you to be upset."
Chloe's eyes burnt with fire, "Oh, I forgot. Denial. The Air Force way, huh? Just because you're not talking about it means it's not there." Standing up and throwing the book down on the bed, Chloe spoke calmly, in contrast to the raging argument they'd had almost four months ago, "I thought that everything you'd gone through, losing a man that you loved, would have made you realise that denial isn't exactly the best option." She stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door, her last comment hitting her the hardest.
Sam knew that teenage years were stressful and with the added grief of the Colonel's death, she knew Chloe was going through hell; she heard the teenager cry herself to sleep at night, only stopping when Sam would feel so guilty that she'd warm some milk and the pair would watch re-runs of Friends till the early hours.
Sam knew how it was to live without a loved parent, feeling empty and distant from everyone and everything, wondering if you're ever going to smile again.
All she wanted to know what how Chloe felt. But she knew.
She felt alone.
*
The rain pelted onto the car and Sam kept the wipers going, peering through the growing condensation to find Chloe coming out of the school. Hundreds of similar looking teenagers passed, until the door opened and a suitably wet and irritable Chloe O'Neill jumped in the car.
"Nice day?" Sam asked as Chloe belted up.
"Fine." She answered flatly. The mood between them this morning over breakfast had been frosty, but Sam had hoped that Chloe would have calmed down but no such luck. Sam pulled out of the busy car park wordlessly and turned on the radio, needing some quiet music to fill the tense silence.
As they pulled up to a busy junction, Sam glanced at Chloe whose head was leant against the car window, her long brunette hair falling over her shoulders and her alabaster skin only dulled by the wretched day. She looked like a mournful classical painting; all unexpressed sadness and disguised melancholy.
Chloe obviously knew she was being watched and turned to face Sam, and she smiled slightly. Sam blew a tiny sigh of relief that almost drowned out the small voice, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what?" Sam asked, and then wondered if she'd actually heard Chloe speak at all.
"For yesterday. About the book and what I said. I'm sorry." Chloe turned towards Sam again as she started to push down on the accelerator as the traffic moved.
"I know that it's upsetting…I can't imagine how much. You shouldn't apologise for yesterday." Sam said, increasing the speed of the car as they left the junction behind. "It should be me saying sorry to you."
"We were having a discussion today in sociology. About how hard it is to be a parent." Chloe paused, "And that's when I realised."
"Realised what?" Sam asked, watching the road.
"That you're a parent." She said meekly, "I got so tied up in what I was going through that I didn't realise you were being a mother to a teenager who isn't yours. And we talked about how you can never repay what your parents do for you; I know that I can never tell you how much everything you've done means to me. You saved me Sam, you saved me from myself and sacrificed responsibilities to look after me. I love you."
Sam was quiet for a few seconds until Chloe saw Sam sniff, "You really shouldn't have told me this while we were driving. I can't see anything for these tears." She joked and Chloe raised a smile.
"I just wish dad was here." She said slowly and Sam reassuringly put her hand on Chloe's knee.
"I know."
"I meant, I wish he was here. With us both. So that we could be a family together." She said, "You would've been so cool as parents together. My friends would have been so jealous."
Chloe was sure she could see a tear travel down Sam's cheek. "I wish he was here too. More than you know." Sam said delicately, "And I think we would have made a pretty good family as well."
She smiled with a happiness that Sam never expected, "We would have. But I think we make a damn good family just us two, don't you?"
"Yeah. We do."
*
Chloe slumped onto the chair, sighing at the blurring words on the screen. Her history essay wasn't exactly flowing, and her brain was full of statistics and facts that she didn't need.
Pressing a few random keys to at least pretend that she was doing something, Chloe looked at the phone, and wondered if it was working.
Sam had promised to phone this morning, and she had done at 1:00AM in the morning, and with a sleepy voice reassured Chloe that she was fine but busy at work. Now it was 11 o'clock when Sam was supposed to ring again, just to confirm a time for parent's evening, and she was 2 hours late in calling.
Chloe decided to concentrate on her essay, knowing that Sam would ring sooner or later, and she typed furiously, and read back over the words. They were not good. Not good at all. Angrily, she highlighted and deleted them. Checking the word count, she slammed her fist on the table. Only another 3,000 to go.
And then she made a fatal mistake. She picked up the television guide lying on the computer table, and she glanced at the listings for something to do. And with the promise of tacky secrets being revealed on Jerry Springer, she jumped onto the couch.
And then the doorbell rang. It was almost as if Sam knew she wasn't doing her homework. Something like a sixth sense. Chloe hated that.
Keeping her eye on the Jerry Springer, she walked towards the door and opened it with a smile, expecting the familiar flash of blonde hair and optimistic smile.
She didn't expect her supposedly dead father.
*
Congratulations! You've just finished reading my longest fanfiction EVER! I hope that you liked it and feedback would be appreciated.
But if you're wondering what happens next, never fear; I've written a sequel called "A New Life"
Author: Anneka O'Carter
Summary: "And I feel like I'm falling through, you're not there to hold me up."
A/N: Feedback appreciated. First in the Stand By Me series...and totally, totally AU! Thanks to Christina, my beta who endured me drafting and redrafting this! But this series is dedicated to my good friend (and beta) Jenn - I'll always be here as long as you need me…and things will get better, I promise.
*
*
*
*So I, let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
That's all I give 'cause you're all that I've got *
"Faint" by Linkin Park
*
The couch was uncomfortable, bending her body into awkward positions and consequently, she couldn't turn her head to even look at the door that was ringing so insistently, which sounded freakily reminiscent of her alarm clock. Looking at the digital time-piece on the TV, she sighed. 8:53 on a school day and she hadn't even got dressed. Crap.
Almost crawling to the door, she opened it expecting to see her father apologetically smiling and promising that "it'll be the last time" he forgets to ring. But instead she sees Major Carter and Major Davis standing on the porch in dress uniform.
"Um, hi." She said rubbing her eyes with fisted hands. The sunlight is harsh on her vision and she has to squint to stop it hurting. They nod in response and she's wondering whether she's supposed to invite them in. "Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not ready for school yet so do you want to tell me whatever you've come to tell me?"
Major Carter, she forgets to call her Sam now, looks down at the floor uncomfortably and Major Davis remains silent but she's so tired she can't even think about what that might mean. "Thankyou Chloe." Major Carter finally answers and they follow her into the open plan living room and she offers them both a seat.
"So, what is it then?" She asks nervously eyeing the clock and wondering whether it would be possible to kick these two out, get dressed and drive to school in seven minutes flat.
"You're aware that your father had a mission last week?" Major Davis asked steadily, his voice expressing no emotion.
"Uh, yes." She answers nonchalantly. She's got used to the regular Air Force visits. "He wasn't sure when he was going to get back. Why?" Chloe replied, still not understanding what the pair were doing sitting in her house without her dad right behind them.
"Things didn't go quite to plan." Major Carter explained, nearing closer to Chloe. "We lost many good men- -"
But Major Carter didn't finish her sentence as Chloe had already begun to piece together what happened. "No…Dad…he…Dad has to be OK. Please, *tell* me that he's OK?" She said forcefully.
Major Davis looked down into his lap. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this but the Air Force are officially recognising your father as missing in action. No body has been recovered but it's highly unlikely he survived the attack. I'm very sorry Miss O'Neill."
And two well-decorated, experienced officers sat in front of a teenager falling apart.
*
She sobbed uncontrollably in Jack's bedroom as people filtered in and out throughout the day with Daniel handling all the messages of condolences and during times when there were no visitors expressing their sadness, he sat outside the door. Just making sure she knew he was there.
And he knew what she felt like. Her parents, like his, were now both dead. As far as he knew, her grandparents were either senile and in a home or deceased too. No aunts and uncles. No-one.
Completely alone.
And in her grief, Chloe couldn't see beyond the next hour, but Daniel still feeling the sorrow for his best friend's death, imagined the worst case scenario that reminded him of a conversation he had six years ago when Chloe arrived after Sara first died;
*Jack looked towards the young sleeping girl and sighed and turned back towards his friend. "I see what you're saying Daniel, but there's nothing I can do about it." He replied rationally. "She's my daughter and I'm not having her go into a foster family or live with a third cousin twice removed."
"You're never going to see her Jack." When his friend began to protest, Daniel talked over him. "You can't deny that, but if this is what you think Chloe needs, then far be it for me to say anything different."
Jack looked sombrely at Daniel and took a small sip of his beer. "That girl has been through more in ten years than most people go through in a lifetime. I'm not handing her over to some nameless person because I think my career is more important than my own daughter." Pausing, he considered his words carefully. "In five years, I'm not sure I'll still be working at the base Daniel. I'm getting older and so's Chloe. I want to see her grow up and have kids instead of not being invited to her wedding because she grew to hate me..."*
Daniel ran to the toilet and vomited into the toilet bowl. Chloe had lost everyone important in her life, her brother and her parents. The only thing Jack ever asked for was for Chloe to be looked after if he wasn't around to do it himself.
But everyone had grown and gained themselves new lives with no space for an orphaned teenager.
*
She wasn't sure how long she'd been crying. It felt like weeks that she had been curled up on his bed, crying into the pillow that still smelt of him. And it was worse when she opened her eyes; seeing the family photos proudly displayed on his bedside table made her sob even harder.
Her legs were weak as she lifted herself of his bed, wondering whether Daniel was still in the house pretending that he was actually worried about her when all he was doing was assuaging his guilt that he hadn't seen her in the last two months.
She opened the door, half expecting his body to fall through but she was relieved that he'd moved from that particular spot. She was hoping that he'd left altogether; all he wanted to do was "talk" about her "feelings".
Chloe was pretty sure that her feelings were obvious.
Creeping down the stairs, she saw various cards on the table with sad wreaths on the front and sympathetic messages. Scanning the kitchen she saw a note from Daniel telling her that he was buying some groceries and he'd be back in an hour. Scrunching up the note, she chucked it into the bin and sat at the island at the middle of the kitchen.
Her high school had been told of the situation and she was relieved that she could have as many absent days as was necessary; she'd need them to organise the funeral.
Daniel and Major Carter would insist on helping, but *she* was the closest person to him, blood wise anyway, so didn't she have the right to organise what was going to happen?
And as that train of thought ended, she noticed that she was ambling through the house and her feet had taken her to his office where he used to reluctantly finish paperwork and she'd often sit on the opposite side of the table, feet up and read magazines, both of them talking incessantly about nothing in particular.
His laptop memory had been copied and then erased, just in case she decided to hack into her father's computer on the day she was told he died. Even she wasn't that weird…
He'd always told her that…that she was weird. And she'd joked that she'd obviously inherited it from him; he denied it as much as was possible, but even he must have been certain that he was just slightly eccentric.
And as memories flooded through her head, she slumped into the seat, remembering that he'd never sit and type furiously at the computer, or tell her the ending of a Simpsons episode that he'd seen three times already. He'd never cook her breakfast in the morning after she'd spent all night waiting for him to come home.
He'd never tell her that she was the most important thing in his life.
*
She stood at the edge of the river, tears running freely down her face. Her chest heaved with pain but she still held the picture tightly in her hands, the force of her grip crumpling the edges.
If he could have been here, he would have said that he didn't want anyone moping about him, much less her. He would've told her to go to a hockey match and try to live her life without him.
But what did he know? He never knew the paralysing fear when the telephone rang as she sat on the couch, waiting for him to come home a day after he was due; waiting for the phone to ring, and desperately praying that it didn't. He didn't know that her mind was constantly fixed on him when he was at work, knowing that "deep space radar telemetry" was an excuse and a pathetic one at that and knowing that he was probably risking his life everyday.
All she knew in that one moment in time was that standing in the deserted forest, saying goodbye to her dead father, was that her fears were warranted. She always knew one day he'd never come back.
She took one last look at the picture she held, both their smiles beaming out and his arm loosely hanging round her shoulder. When she'd first moved to Colorado Springs after her mother had died from a heart attack, she never thought she'd be that happy. She never thought she'd smile again, but he brought her out of herself.
The picture was of her 16th birthday party outside in their garden when he'd bought her driving lessons and a car, telling her *"I have enough money, I might as well spend it on someone who'll appreciate it and there's no-one more deserving of it than you…."* That smile was before he'd even given her the present, she was just happy that he was alive standing next to her on her birthday and being a regular father.
She dropped the picture into the fast flowing river and watched as it floated past the rest of the attendees, her fierce gaze scorning those who were supposed to be helping her.
They were so self-involved that they couldn't see she was falling apart. And they thought she didn't know, but she did. She'd be in foster care as soon as a family was found to take care of her.
She wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't.
And if his "friends" weren't going to help her, then she'd have to do it herself.
*
Days passed and turned into weeks and Samantha Carter, USAF sat in the car outside *the* house and waited. She wasn't sure what but she knew that she couldn't go in straight away; seeing Chloe torn apart was too hard for her to bear.
So instead she stared at the house from the dark car, occasionally seeing Chloe's shadow move about behind the closed curtains, lying to Tim and pretending that she was at work when she was watching the daughter of the dead man she'd fallen in love with six years ago and hadn't stop wanting all those years.
Finally gathering the courage to face Chloe, she walked slowly up the path, momentarily pausing to make sure that she had the words to face her. She hesitantly knocked on the door, a sudden rush of panic rising in her throat. She heard a slow plod of footsteps in the silent night and Chloe reaching to open the door.
"Chloe." She said and noticed the fall in Chloe's red eyed face. She'd obviously been crying.
"Major Carter." She responded plainly and Sam sighed.
"You can call me Sam once in a while. I'm pretty certain it won't hurt you." She tried to joke, but Chloe was having none of it. Years ago, she'd never had imagined that she and Chloe would be so distant, but times change, and so do people.
"I'd rather not." Chloe replied, her face expressing no emotion.
After a moment of silence, Sam gestured towards inside the house. "Would it be alright if I came in?"
Chloe wordlessly stood back and let Sam into the house and closed the door loudly behind her. She walked into the living room indecisively as she spotted the piles of photos adorning the coffee table and knowing that she had walked in on a very private moment for Chloe.
"Sorry about the mess." Chloe commented flatly, saying the sentiment without meaning. It was obvious that Chloe wanted Sam nowhere near her.
"You should have said…I wouldn't have come in." Sam replied, taking a seat nervously as Chloe sat on the floor cross legged and browsed through the photos.
"Yes you would." Chloe replied. She knew that this fake concern that everyone had for her was just to ease their worries that they weren't "helping" her to cope with the grief. If they really wanted to understand, then they'd talk *with* her and not *to* her.
Sam visibly swallowed and coughed uncomfortably. "How are you feeling?" She asked, desperately searching for something to say.
"How do you think I'm feeling?" Chloe looked up with a venom that shocked Sam; she looked so bitter yet so despairing at the same time. "My father's dead, I'm not exactly having a raving party as you can see."
"It was a stupid question, I'm sorry." Sam apologised feeling that nothing she said could make Chloe think less of her. Watching Chloe lovingly look through the photos and put them away in various albums, she felt so guilty. "Do you want any help?"
Chloe looked up this time, a flicker of a smile passing on her lips. Looking her direct in the eyes, Chloe spoke quietly, "If you don't mind…" Suddenly Sam was throwing her a rope, trying to pull her out of the suffocating water.
"I'd love to." Sam said enthusiastically and crawled onto the floor, taking a cushion with her to perch on. Sitting next to Chloe, the girl passed her some photos and showed the albums with her family's names on them and gave her intricate directions with what to do with them. Sam watched as she precisely tucked away the photos and knew that this was a diversionary tactic to avoid thinking about her father.
A photo was passed over of a wet Chloe and Charlie hugging each other and holding a football in between them. "That's really nice." Sam commented and Chloe nodded, a look of long forgotten happiness passing over her face.
"Yeah…I remember that day. Dad took some time off work and uh, he took me and Charlie to this water park. And he took that after we'd played with the ball in the swimming pool. I just followed Charlie around everywhere….he used to pretend to hate it, but I think he loved me worshipping him like that." Chloe said quietly, remembering when her life was so simple and cheerful.
"I did the same to my brother…I think he secretly loved it too. Not that he'd admit it even now." Sam commented and she heard a small chuckle from Chloe.
"If he's anything like you, he'd be too stubborn." Chloe muttered and Sam laughed.
"Thanks very much(!)" Sam laughed and felt a surge of happiness when she saw Chloe smile too and edge nearer towards her becoming more open with just those few words.
And Chloe picked up another photo and passed it over, "This is when dad decided that a green wig would be a really good look…"
*
They'd spent two hours sorting through the photos and Chloe had become increasingly relaxed around Sam, but still sticking to the name of "Major Carter", but if Sam was honest, she wasn't bothered, she just wanted to talk to Chloe after all this time.
As Chloe explained another photo, Sam yawned and looked at her watch. Chloe's eyes flamed irrationally and she jumped up from the floor. "Keeping you from a date with *Tim*?" She spat angrily.
Sam looked puzzled until she realised that Chloe must have witnessed her innocuously checking the time. "Chloe, all I wondered was what the time was…I wasn't suggesting I was bored…" Sam defended herself but to the hyper-sensitive Chloe, she'd already decided what Sam's intentions were.
"I think you should leave." She said steadily, walking to the front door and opening it, a gush of cold air entering the house.
"Chloe, can I just explain…?" Sam asked desperately and Chloe stood with an impassive look on her face.
"I should have realised…" She spoke as calmly as possible. "I should have known that you were just here to get rid of your guilt and then disappear for another six months." Chloe seethed. "You're just like the rest of them."
"What "rest of them", Chloe?" Sam asked, nearing closer to the door. "We all care about you, we're trying to help you."
"Help? *Help*?" She stormed angrily. "If that's your kind of help, then I'd rather not have any at all."
Sam looked down at the floor, the failures mounting up inside her head. "I'm sorry…"
"I don't care whether you're sorry." Chloe spat. "You should have done something about it then….You told me my dad was dead and then just left!" She said, tears crawling out of her eyes. "I would have preferred a nameless soldier telling me over the phone rather than what you did!"
"I'm sorry…"Sam started again.
"You're *always* sorry, but that doesn't change anything. I thought I might have meant something to you, I thought you might have had an ounce of sympathy for me, but there was just nothing…. All I wanted was someone to tell me everything was gonna be OK." Chloe paused to catch her breath. "I think you should leave Major Carter. It's for the best."
"Chloe, please…."
"No!" She said angrily, and then calmed her voice. "No. If any of you cared *at all* then you would have visited me more than once, three weeks ago…now can you go? And I'd rather if you didn't come round again."
Sam stepped wordlessly out of the door and into the cold night air. Walking down the path, she turned round but the door was already closed.
On the other side, Chloe leaned against the door and slipped to the floor in tears.
*
Sam swirled the coffee round in her mug, refraining from taking a sip and Daniel knew that something was on her mind. Chloe most likely, he thought knowing that she was always popping into his mind and he just guiltily shoved all thoughts of her away.
"Sam?" He called walking over to her table and Sam looked up, the faint smile on her lips never reaching her eyes.
"Daniel." She greeted him and pulled her food towards her to make room for his tray. "How are you doing with that translation?" She asked but Daniel knew she didn't really care either way. Teal'c had obliquely mentioned something about an argument between the pair when he'd almost interrogated Sam about why Chloe was tearfully rejecting visitors.
He spoke softly and about nothing in particular until he broke the drone of his own voice by asking her a question, "Are you going to tell me or do I have to wait until I pester Chloe enough?"
Sam looked up to him with slightly watery eyes, "I never realised how much pain she was in Daniel. I knew that she was upset, but God, I just…I never saw."
"What did she say to you?" He asked.
"She said that she didn't want our help…and that…none of us helped her when she really needed it." Sam swallowed deeply, stopping the tears from escaping her tired eyes. "And I realised that she was right."
Daniel looked guiltily into his food. "Sam, we're all grieving for Jack and…"
"And nothing Daniel!" She said, struggling to stop her voice raising several decibels. "She's his *daughter* and we didn't do *anything*. And you know that if the roles were reversed, the Colonel would have done anything for one of our children to help them."
"I tried…I really did." Daniel explained. "But it brought back everything, every feeling and every ounce of pain back. And I couldn't say a word."
"I think we should do something for her." She said suddenly.
"Like what?" Daniel asked, puzzled.
"Maybe we could take her to the cabin or something…spend some proper time with her. Just you, me, Teal'c and her." Sam suggested and Daniel nodded.
"It sounds good. Like a family remembrance." He replied. "You think Chloe would be OK with that?"
"Would Chloe O'Neill be "OK" with what?" A voice behind them asked and Teal'c took a place at the table, both Sam and Daniel making space for his piled tray.
"We were thinking about taking Chloe to the cabin….spending time with her…to try and make up for not being there for her these past weeks." Daniel explained and the Jaffa lowered his head.
"I believe that it is a suitable idea but do you think that Chloe will give her permission?" Teal'c asked. "She is still grieving incredibly for the passing of O'Neill."
"Maybe this will help her Teal'c. As far as I know, she hasn't talked to anyone about this has she?" Sam reasoned. "I think talking about what she's thinking might help her realise that we can understand what she's feeling too."
But before her two friends could answer, an airwoman approached the table nervously. "Major Carter, there's a call waiting for you at the front desk."
"Who is it?" She asked.
"Um…" The airwoman looked down at the piece of paper in her hand. "It's the principal of Colorado Springs High School, ma'am. She's calling about Chloe O'Neill." The airwoman replied awkwardly, as like the rest of the base she knew that Chloe wasn't coping with Colonel O'Neill's death.
Sam turned to Teal'c and Daniel with a frown. "What's that about?" Daniel asked with a concerned expression.
"I'm going to have to go and find out." She left the mess hall and walked to the front desk.
*
Picking up the telephone, Sam introduced herself. "Major Carter speaking."
An older woman spoke on the other end. "Hello Ms Carter, I'm Principal Yardley from Colorado Springs High School. I'm sorry to inconvenience you but I'm calling about Chloe O'Neill….you were a close friend of her father's, weren't you?"
"Yes…um, how did you get this number?" Sam asked.
"We searched Chloe's locker and this was the first number we found in the address book." Principal Yardley explained.
"You searched Chloe's locker? Why on Earth did you do that?" Sam exclaimed.
"I'm sorry Ms Carter but Chloe was very distant all day and during the 11:30-12:30 lesson, she walked out and we haven't seen her since." Principal Yardley explained. "And because of the news about her father, we weren't sure who to call and tell about what's happened."
"Thankyou for ringing me." Sam blew a sigh of relief. She was grateful that they had searched her locker otherwise she wouldn't know that Chloe had run out of class until she tried to ring her about the proposed trip.
"I'm sure that Chloe is alright." The principal said, "But with all the upset she's had to cope with in the past month we were more than concerned for her."
"I'll make sure that she's OK and I'll telephone the school when I've found her." Sam reassured the principal.
"I do hope she's feeling alright. Chloe's a very valued pupil at the school and she's doing so well." The principal said genuinely with a hint of sadness, "Anyway Ms Carter, I'll let you get on."
"Thankyou Principal Yardley." Sam replied and they hung up.
Walking hurriedly back to the mess hall she relayed the information to Teal'c and Daniel and assured them that she could look for Chloe alone; "If there's just one of us, we won't overwhelm her."
Finally getting out of the base, she practically sprinted to her car and drove speedily to the O'Neill house in the suburbs.
*
A sudden rush of fear welled up when she noticed that Chloe's much loved car was missing from the drive but regardlessly Sam ran up to the door and was about to ring on the doorbell when she noticed that the door wasn't locked.
Pulling the gun out of her holster, she walked hesitantly around the house, checking cupboards and rooms until she was sure the house was empty.
Walking into the kitchen, she closed a half open window and looked to the kitchen table where a piece of paper was held down with a mug. Creeping over hesitantly, she ripped the paper away and a photo fell onto the floor.
Kneeling down, she picked it up and read the writing on the back *"Dad and me, 16th birthday, West Ridge Forest"* and turned the photo over to look at the two faces staring out.
It couldn't have been taken long ago as Chloe's hair was similar in length and she could tell it was summer because of all of the blooming flowers. Jack's arms encased Chloe's body and she couldn't have looked happier if she tried. Jack smiled towards the photographer, she presumed it was probably Teal'c because of his new-found love of cameras, and he looked blissfully happy.
Sam always knew that Chloe was the spitting image of Colonel O'Neill but in this photo she could have sworn that she was his (much) younger twin. Her eyes and hair were as deeply brown as his, and her face was pale yet alive.
She'd almost been carried away by looking at the photo until she felt the fluttering of the paper in her hands. Securing the photo underneath the mug, she read the hand-written note carefully.
*Dear Sam, Murray and Daniel
I can't believe I'm writing this; it seems like the ultimate cliché, doesn't it? And I know that Jack "I am morally opposed to clichés" O'Neill would hate his daughter using one, but he's not here to stop me, is he?
I know I can't write how much you mean to me, because otherwise I wouldn't be doing this, but despite everything I've said and done, you three really are special to me. I hope you never change and that you don't forget me and that you'll tell you children about me and dad.
I really hope so because someone should remember us.
If dad was here now, he'd tell me I was being selfish and an utter idiot, but I just can't help myself. Everyone's leaving me now, and it's only a matter of time before you leave me too, so I'm abandoning you before you would have abandoned me. You're all adults and getting new lives, and I have no place in them.
Dad was the only person that I could talk to without him judging me or looking at me and being disappointed with who I am and what I've become, and I've lost him now. And I miss my brother. And my mom. I miss all of them too much to live. It hurts me inside and I hope that you can understand what I feel.
I'm so sorry, and I hope one day you can think of me without hate or anger, or disappointment. I pray that your lives will be happy and free of pain and that you can support your children the way my father did for me.
I say goodbye with love and hope in my heart for your lives. Please never forget me.
All my love forever and ever,
Chloe*
Sam stood in the kitchen, gasping for breath, her throat dry and parched. How could she not have seen what was now so obvious? Chloe was absolutely alone, the only family she had were dead. Where would she rather be?
She had to stop her, save her. She had to finally do the right thing and stop Chloe making the worst mistake of her short life.
And suddenly the picture laying underneath the mug caught her eye. The last time she had been truly happy with the Colonel, the last time she'd been carefree only worrying about her essay deadlines and what to watch on TV that night.
And now, where her father's "final resting place" was.
*
The first thing she saw was the car. The distinctive blue Fifties convertible that the Colonel had spent a bomb on repairing, and the car that Chloe adored so much.
She jumped out of the car and ran to the side of the bridge which she'd come across before entering the forest and when she saw the car, she'd pressed on the brakes and almost skidded to a halt.
Taking a deep breath, she looked over the edge, not knowing what the hell to expect and praying that there was nothing at all and that she'd merely misinterpreted the blatant letter.
There was a deafening silence as she watched the waters flow below on the jagged rocks below and she couldn't help but gag as she thought of what the devastated girl had decided to do.
Then as if out of nowhere, a tiny voice spoke, "I'm here." Sam spun round at the speed of light to see Chloe standing as plain as day in front of her. Sam didn't care what Chloe thought as she grappled to hug the girl who stood freezing cold and motionless, not returning the embrace.
"Jesus, I thought you'd…" Sam started but couldn't finish.
"I was going to. I so badly wanted to." She said in that same quiet, tender voice as Sam manoeuvred Chloe to her warm car.
"What stopped you?" Sam asked as she opened the door and sat Chloe down carefully in the passenger's seat.
"I just kept thinking about dad…I just stood there and I saw his face…and…" She said, her teeth chattering in the blustery wind. "And I realised I was the last thing left of his life…and that I couldn't end his dream of this perfect family by taking the coward's way out and jumping from a bridge."
Sam touched Chloe's pale, almost blue, hand. "You were right. This isn't what the Colonel wanted for you."
"His name's Jack." She said, staring soulfully into Sam's eyes. "Why don't you call him that? He's dead y'know, he can't hear you."
Sam looked away instantly, her eyes flashing with an emotion she wasn't ready to deal with. "This isn't about me and you know it."
"Isn't it?" Chloe replied, surprisingly talkative after her brave choice only a few minutes ago. "Isn't this about you and your amazing inability to own up to your feelings about a man who died a month ago?"
"I don't know what you mean…" Sam started the well worn excuse but Chloe had obviously had enough.
"Of course you don't. I mean, you were just in love with the guy for the past six years, but of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about so what's the point discussing it, right?" She said sarcastically.
"Chloe, you've obviously got a hold of the wrong end of the stick somehow." Sam replied as steadily as she could manage as she knelt in front of the freezing and stern teenager.
"You know what? I can't think of any other reason why the hell you haven't come to see me." Chloe said, her tone of voice more sympathising than their bitter argument weeks ago.
"What about Daniel and Murray?" Sam reasoned. "You blamed all of us that night"
"Sam, I know what Daniel went through with his parents. I know that the grief of dad's death coupled with what happened to his own mom and dad probably made the situation ten times worse for him." Chloe explained. "And as much as I love Murray, he's not exactly a "hugs and cuddles" kind of guy." She smirked.
And as Sam looked into the eyes of the only remaining O'Neill that she knew of, she saw all of the reasons why she couldn't help Chloe in the ways she needed most. "What?" Chloe asked the motionless Sam who just kept staring at her. "Sam, what's wrong?"
"I look at you, and I see him." She said slowly and quietly, rising to full height and moving away to the bars of the bridge. "I look at your smile and the way that you talk and your eyes….and all I can see is him." Sam said, her eyes struggling to hold back the tears. "And I just know, that if I'd said something, anything…maybe he wouldn't have been there."
"He'd have jumped through hoops to please you." Chloe said from behind Sam who turned round to face the girl.
"Maybe if I'd have been less scared of the future and just opened my eyes for one goddamn second, if only I could have seen what was right in front of me." She looked out over the beautiful scene in front of her. "He could've retired…and I could have told him what he meant to me."
"He knew." Chloe reassured the surprisingly vulnerable Air Force Major standing in front of her. "He always knew."
Wiping her eyes, she spoke, "God, the one thing he would have wanted me to do was to protect you and I've done nothing." Sam gripped the rails making her knuckles whiten.
"You're here now, aren't you?" Chloe said putting her hand over Sam's. "Protecting me."
"You are so much like him." She said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Chloe's ear and taking her hand to walk towards the car. "He'd be so proud of you."
"I'd like to think so." She joked but her face paled as she neared the car and Sam got out her keys to start the engine. "No." Chloe said plainly, backing away.
"What?" Sam said, more than slightly confused.
"I-I-I…I can't go back to *that* house." She protested, tugging her hand away but Sam held on too tight.
"What do you mean?"
"My house…I can't spend another minute in there. It's so quiet and lonely…I can feel every second pass by, it's so painful." Chloe said, her brown eyes staring into Sam's mournfully. "Please don't take me back there."
"How about if I come with you?"
"Come back with me?" Chloe repeated.
"Mmm. Get a take-out, get you in some warm clothes." She suggested and Chloe's face lit up.
"I just can't be alone…it's too much." Chloe said shivering in the cold.
"Well you wont be." Sam reassured her, "Cause I'm going to be there with you all the way."
*
"I can't do this." Chloe panicked wringing her hands and pacing up and down the small waiting area.
"You'll be fine. She's just a principal, not a monster." Sam said and continued to read one of the magazines placed on the coffee table in front of her.
"I *really* don't think I can do this." Chloe slumped down into the free chair. "I could barely tell you about what I was feeling, let alone Principal Yardley."
"You don't have to tell her everything…you can tell her nothing. I just think you should make her aware of what troubles you're having at the moment so some teachers can make allowances when you need them." Sam explained rationally. "And I can't exactly go on my own, she'd wonder who the heck I was!"
Chloe smiled and sat silently until Principal Yardley's secretary showed them through to the office.
Taking a deep breath, Chloe knocked on the door. "Enter." She opened the door and the woman sitting at the desk rose and smiled.
"Chloe. It's so nice to see you again." She said genuinely and step forward to shake her hand. "And this must be Ms Doctor-Major Carter….which do you prefer?" She asked smiling.
"I'm not too fussed." She said with a smile and shook the offered hand and sat down on a chair opposite.
"Well I'm glad that you're both here and I understand Chloe that it must be hard for you to speak to me, but it's best if I'm aware of all the information so that the faculty can make sure that you're not under too much pressure." Principal Yardley explained and Chloe smiled weakly.
"Thankyou Miss." She said meekly.
"Well Ms Carter, is it right you're applying for legal guardian status?" She asked, looking through a thick file on her desk.
"Uh, yes that's right. I'm currently living with Chloe at her house on her request, but unfortunately I'm not at home 24/7 because of my work commitments." Sam explained and briefly touched Chloe's hand, "But I'm planning on being there as much as humanly possible."
"I'm just glad Chloe's getting the support she needs from someone she loves." Principal Yardley said still browsing through pages of writing.
"I love her very much, and I'm going to make sure that her life stays as normal as it can do." Sam smiled at Chloe.
"Chloe, how do you feel about returning to school on Monday?" Principal Yardley asked.
"That'd be great. I'm kinda getting bored at home but Sam's insisting I rest." Chloe rolled her eyes.
"I think Ms Carter's right, but as long as she doesn't mind, then we'd love to have you back here on the 14th, if that's OK?" She looked towards Sam who nodded her agreement. "I think that's settled then. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
Chloe stayed silent until Sam un-subtly coughed. "Uh, yes Miss Yardley. Um, Sam was wondering whether I could have an appointment with the school counsellor."
Principal Yardley nodded and cleared her throat. "And you're fine with that?"
Chloe's eyes flicked to Sam and then back to her Principal. "I'm not sure if it'll help but I might as well try it. Nothing to lose, is there?"
*
She could feel her mouth practically watering as Sam ordered the takeout over the phone but as much as she was loathed to admit it, her homework had to be done. And Sam insisted there was " no food until you've finished that pile of work."
Such a slave driver.
Sam wandered into the living room with a science journal and a glass of wine in hand and slumped onto the couch behind where Chloe was sitting on the floor at the coffee table. "Should be here in half an hour, you gonna be finished by then?" She said, affectionately rubbing Chloe's hair.
"Mmm." Chloe replied and then turned round. "Sa-am?"
"Yes?" She replied, her eyes still scanning a supposedly interesting article.
"Where's that "Science for Dummies" book?" Chloe rested her elbows on Sam's knees. "It'd really help me with the homework."
"You're supposed to do it without." Sam stopped reading and looked at Chloe with suspicious eyes, "You know that."
"*Please*?" She said in her best puppy dog expression that always used to work amazingly well on her dad.
Sam relented with a smile that suggested she knew exactly what Chloe's tactics were, but wasn't too bothered, "Fine. It's in my bedroom, first drawer in the cabinet." Sam gave instructions as Chloe started to climb the stairs, desperate to finish her chemistry homework and knowing that her notes were *definitely* not neat enough to be of any help.
Pushing open the door of Sam's room, previously where the guests (or Daniel and Murray) stayed, she zoomed in towards the bedside cabinet loaded down with heavy text books and an array of astrophysics essays that would send Chloe to sleep in a second.
Chloe opened the drawer carefully, praying that the book would be safely sitting in there, just ready for her to cheat on the homework. Breathing a sigh of relief as she saw the familiar yellow cover she grabbed it and was about to close the drawer when she noticed a heavy book underneath and out of pure curiosity sat down on Sam's bed, book in hand.
She leafed through a few pages before turning to the cover with a horrified face. Chloe convinced herself to believe that this wasn't what she thought and she tried to allay her fears by looking through a few more pages, knowing that one title couldn't explain a whole book.
But then the title had been pretty explicit.
Taking a deep breath, Chloe was just about to put the book away and pretend that she'd never found it when she heard Sam's voice just outside the door, "Did you find the book? I thought it was in the-" She started but stopped immediately when she saw what was in Chloe's hands. "Oh."
"Oh? *Oh*?" Chloe repeated. "Is that all you can say?"
"I didn't mean for you to find it." Sam explained hurriedly.
"Obviously not, because otherwise you wouldn't have bought it." Chloe sighed. "I can't *believe* you thought this would help….you know what, I can't believe you thought we even *needed* help."
"We don't-" Sam tried desperately to account for the book that Chloe was now gesturing wildly with.
"So why the *hell* did you have this?" Chloe flicked through the pages, "It looks pretty well read to me…and look, even some folded down corners. Pages of interest huh?"
But Sam suddenly saw that she didn't have to apologise. She was trying to help Chloe, but she was so narrow minded she couldn't see past the fact that Sam hadn't told her that she'd bought some stupid book. "Why on Earth did you think I'd buy a book like this? I don't want to read it for fun, I want to help you."
"Help? God, Sam…."Coping With Bereavement in Adolescents", I can't believe you'd buy into this." Chloe said frustratedly. "If you want to know what I'm feeling, why don't you talk to me?"
"Because for a sixteen year old girl who I'm supposed to be looking after, you're pretty threatening." Sam quipped, raising a smile from Chloe who looked up with wide, deep brown, familiar eyes.
"I don't mean to be, it's just….so much has happened to me Sam. And now it's like I can't even grieve for dad separately from Charlie and mom. It's as though because I spent years crying over my brother, that I should feel different because of dad. That it should be easier or something." Chloe explained flopping onto the bed and Sam perched on the end.
"No-one thinks that." Sam tried to explain, "You know how much everyone wants to help. I thought we sorted this months ago."
"I thought we did too. I thought we understood each other Sam." Chloe said. "For some odd reason, I had this notion that you could talk to me without worrying whether I was going to blow up in your face." Chloe paused, "Now I realise I was wrong."
"This is exactly why I don't want to approach you with things." Sam explained, "Every time you talk about what's happened, you're angry, and I don't blame you. At all. I'm not discussing everything because I don't want you to be upset."
Chloe's eyes burnt with fire, "Oh, I forgot. Denial. The Air Force way, huh? Just because you're not talking about it means it's not there." Standing up and throwing the book down on the bed, Chloe spoke calmly, in contrast to the raging argument they'd had almost four months ago, "I thought that everything you'd gone through, losing a man that you loved, would have made you realise that denial isn't exactly the best option." She stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door, her last comment hitting her the hardest.
Sam knew that teenage years were stressful and with the added grief of the Colonel's death, she knew Chloe was going through hell; she heard the teenager cry herself to sleep at night, only stopping when Sam would feel so guilty that she'd warm some milk and the pair would watch re-runs of Friends till the early hours.
Sam knew how it was to live without a loved parent, feeling empty and distant from everyone and everything, wondering if you're ever going to smile again.
All she wanted to know what how Chloe felt. But she knew.
She felt alone.
*
The rain pelted onto the car and Sam kept the wipers going, peering through the growing condensation to find Chloe coming out of the school. Hundreds of similar looking teenagers passed, until the door opened and a suitably wet and irritable Chloe O'Neill jumped in the car.
"Nice day?" Sam asked as Chloe belted up.
"Fine." She answered flatly. The mood between them this morning over breakfast had been frosty, but Sam had hoped that Chloe would have calmed down but no such luck. Sam pulled out of the busy car park wordlessly and turned on the radio, needing some quiet music to fill the tense silence.
As they pulled up to a busy junction, Sam glanced at Chloe whose head was leant against the car window, her long brunette hair falling over her shoulders and her alabaster skin only dulled by the wretched day. She looked like a mournful classical painting; all unexpressed sadness and disguised melancholy.
Chloe obviously knew she was being watched and turned to face Sam, and she smiled slightly. Sam blew a tiny sigh of relief that almost drowned out the small voice, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what?" Sam asked, and then wondered if she'd actually heard Chloe speak at all.
"For yesterday. About the book and what I said. I'm sorry." Chloe turned towards Sam again as she started to push down on the accelerator as the traffic moved.
"I know that it's upsetting…I can't imagine how much. You shouldn't apologise for yesterday." Sam said, increasing the speed of the car as they left the junction behind. "It should be me saying sorry to you."
"We were having a discussion today in sociology. About how hard it is to be a parent." Chloe paused, "And that's when I realised."
"Realised what?" Sam asked, watching the road.
"That you're a parent." She said meekly, "I got so tied up in what I was going through that I didn't realise you were being a mother to a teenager who isn't yours. And we talked about how you can never repay what your parents do for you; I know that I can never tell you how much everything you've done means to me. You saved me Sam, you saved me from myself and sacrificed responsibilities to look after me. I love you."
Sam was quiet for a few seconds until Chloe saw Sam sniff, "You really shouldn't have told me this while we were driving. I can't see anything for these tears." She joked and Chloe raised a smile.
"I just wish dad was here." She said slowly and Sam reassuringly put her hand on Chloe's knee.
"I know."
"I meant, I wish he was here. With us both. So that we could be a family together." She said, "You would've been so cool as parents together. My friends would have been so jealous."
Chloe was sure she could see a tear travel down Sam's cheek. "I wish he was here too. More than you know." Sam said delicately, "And I think we would have made a pretty good family as well."
She smiled with a happiness that Sam never expected, "We would have. But I think we make a damn good family just us two, don't you?"
"Yeah. We do."
*
Chloe slumped onto the chair, sighing at the blurring words on the screen. Her history essay wasn't exactly flowing, and her brain was full of statistics and facts that she didn't need.
Pressing a few random keys to at least pretend that she was doing something, Chloe looked at the phone, and wondered if it was working.
Sam had promised to phone this morning, and she had done at 1:00AM in the morning, and with a sleepy voice reassured Chloe that she was fine but busy at work. Now it was 11 o'clock when Sam was supposed to ring again, just to confirm a time for parent's evening, and she was 2 hours late in calling.
Chloe decided to concentrate on her essay, knowing that Sam would ring sooner or later, and she typed furiously, and read back over the words. They were not good. Not good at all. Angrily, she highlighted and deleted them. Checking the word count, she slammed her fist on the table. Only another 3,000 to go.
And then she made a fatal mistake. She picked up the television guide lying on the computer table, and she glanced at the listings for something to do. And with the promise of tacky secrets being revealed on Jerry Springer, she jumped onto the couch.
And then the doorbell rang. It was almost as if Sam knew she wasn't doing her homework. Something like a sixth sense. Chloe hated that.
Keeping her eye on the Jerry Springer, she walked towards the door and opened it with a smile, expecting the familiar flash of blonde hair and optimistic smile.
She didn't expect her supposedly dead father.
*
Congratulations! You've just finished reading my longest fanfiction EVER! I hope that you liked it and feedback would be appreciated.
But if you're wondering what happens next, never fear; I've written a sequel called "A New Life"
