Author's Note: Um, to be honest, I'm not really sure where this came from, and I don't even know if it makes sense...
Disclaimer: DPS-not mine
Steven Meeks rushed to the phone. He had barely stepped through the door of his cozy apartment when he'd heard it ring.
"Hello?" he gasped out after tripping on the edge of the rug.
"Word has it you've been worrying about me."
Closing his eyes, Steven took a deep breath, plopping down on the floor and pulling the phone onto his lap. "Damn it, Charlie. Where the hell have you been?"
"Out and about."
"You realize you're still enrolled at Harvard, right?"
"Harvard shmarvard. I've been practically raised at the bank since day one. What can business classes really teach me?"
Steven rubbed at his temples in exhaustion. "You can't just drop out of Harvard, Charlie; your dad's going to kill you."
"Well at least then I'll be spared from having to work under his thumb for the rest of my life…or until he croaks."
Steven rolled his eyes. "Well can you at least come over and help me get ready for a date? I have no clue what I'm doing and I really want to impress her."
"Is this date a robot?"
"No, Charlie. It's with an actual girl."
"Well I didn't know for sure, Meeks. I had to check. And you're going to have to figure it out for yourself anyway. I'm in France."
"…you're what?"
"I'm in France."
Steven nearly choked on his own spit. "You don't even know how to ask where the bathroom is in French!"
Charlie scoffed on the other side of the line. "No, but I know what 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi' means. I also know what 'oui' or a slap across the face means. Really, that's all I need to know."
"Charlie…you cannot be serious. Your father is going to—"
"Meeks!" Charlie yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you: I don't give a fuck what my father thinks, okay? Can't you just be happy for me?"
"Happy that you're spreading your loins around Europe?"
"Yeah. What about that is there not to be happy about?"
"Please don't make me start listing all of the problems associated with manwhoreism."
Charlie groaned. "Fine. See, this is why you weren't invited. No fun sponges allowed."
"I'm not a fun sponge! I just like to think logically!"
"Just promise me one thing."
"What?"
"You'll ask your robot date 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi'."
Steven rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. "And to think…I was worried you'd been kidnapped by some gang."
"If she says 'oui', I've taught you well grasshopper."
"I'm trying to be serious here, Charlie."
"Don't forget to tag on 'ce soir' as well!"
"Good-bye Charles."
"Á bientôt, Meeksie."
