"There goes the greatest cop I ever knew."
The comment echoes in the back of his mind, even now that it has all ended. The scene in the squad room keeps replaying, over and over again. He's lost count of how many times he's seen it: detectives pinning his old friend down to the floor, to keep him from hurting himself or anyone else. Goren and Eames standing there, looking indifferent about everything, though they know they've managed to break the case. The rest of the squad watching, torn between sympathy and disgust.
Even now, he can hear his office door opening; can see himself walking out with Marie Adair beside him, both of them upset because of the events that had unfolded over the course of the past few weeks. Neither of them had dreamed that this would be the way things had turned out. He hadn't even considered it. And now…now as he lies there on his back, watching the shadows move across the ceiling, he wonders if he should have.
It's not exactly news to him that those currently employed by the department dislike going after those who were formerly where they are now. He wishes that they hadn't been forced to this time around. And it's not only because Frank Adair was once a friend of his. He wonders for a moment what on earth could possibly drive a man to the point where he'd commit murder to save everything he knows. It's hardly worth it, he muses, as he turns his head slightly. Everything fell apart anyway.
Red digits glare back at him when he looks at the clock. In a few hours' time, he'll have to return to the squad room. Beside him, Angie is fast asleep, seemingly undisturbed by all of this. He can't help but think she's lucky not to have to worry about the same things that he does. She doesn't see what he does, and for that, he's grateful. But at the same time, he wonders what she would think if she knew what he knows.
The thing that bothers him the most about this, he muses, isn't even the fact that it was one of his friends that went down for a murder. It isn't even the fact that he stumbled upon the fact that he was being used as a false alibi for said friend's whereabouts. No, what bothers him the most is that he had no idea that any of this was going on. That for the longest time, he was convinced that Frank Adair was one of the best cops to ever walk the streets of New York City. That for most of the investigation, he had been reluctant to let his trusted detectives go after him because of that.
He's never liked being left in the dark about anything. But then again…he's never liked being played for a fool, either.
