[Hello, dearest readers! It has been far too long since I uploaded anything, partially due to the fact that I have had severe Writer's Block, and also because this wonderful TV show has caught my attention! So, in order to combat said Writer's Block, I have made this. I hope you enjoy, this is the first fanfiction I have written for Gravity Falls.

However, I wish to make it clear, before we get any further, this fanfiction is not meant to be shippy in any way. I don't do romance well. I mean, take it any way you want, sure, I don't care. But it is not intended to be shippy.

Now that we have that out of the way, enjoy!]


"You know, kid, I'd be perfectly fine with you sticking around. I could use the help."

Dipper's hand went to the back of his neck and he shook his head. "I know, I know. But I can't help but feel like I'm just freeloading."

One of Stan's eyebrows shot sky-high. "Would you say Mabel is freeloading?"

"That's completely different, Grunkle Stan," Dipper replied, eyes narrowing. "Mabel is good with customers, and she's more than capable of stocking shelves. She's practically a tornado of helpfulness."

"True," Stan admitted. "I'd really miss having you around, though. Your sister isn't going to take the news well."

"I know."

"She'll take it personally."

"That's why I'm going to break it to her slowly."

Stan shrugged, turning to busy himself with the stove once more. "Slowly or all at once, she'll find a way to make it her fault."

"I'll make her some chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, sprinkles, and the strawberry faces she likes."

"Don't forget the gummy bears."

"Do I ever?"


It had been seven years since the best summer the Pines twins had ever had. It had ended well, to the surprise of all, but like all summers, they eventually had to move back to California.

So, they bid goodbye to their great uncles and the town they had fallen in love with, then jumped back into school. But they never lost an opportunity to head back, preferably without their parents.

Every summer, their parents had been more than happy to send their twins to live with their Grunkle Stan, being busy as they were. So after six years, when they turned eighteen and decided to move out, they already had a home in Gravity Falls.

Now, a year later, they were earning their keep as employees. Wendy had already gone off to college in Portland, and Soos was working as a mechanic, supporting his wife and son-which he named Stanford. He had hinted at naming the one on the way Mabel, but as they still weren't sure of said baby's gender, it had been tentative.

Stanford had been more than happy to move into the available guest house the twins originally helped build for Stanley(worried about where he would live after Ford reclaimed his house at the end of the summer). He occasionally visited, but was usually too wrapped up in the newer anomalies that had been popping up to pay much attention to family.

As such, there was still an extra room downstairs. Dipper requested to take it, making it easier to stay up late with his activities(mainly consisting of clicking a pen and humming along to BABBA songs).

All in all, the past year had been a dream come true for both twins.

Now, Dipper was supposed to throw all that away and tell his best friend that he was moving out. Not that he wasn't justified, after all, he was 19 now, and darn it, he needed to be independent.

Mabel had long since decided that she was vegetarian, making bacon a no-go. So, in order to replace the protein, Dipper generally ended up whipping up an omelet to go with whatever she had decided would be her daily sugary confection. She insisted that she could survive on that which could not in any sense qualify as 'breakfast', but to play it safe, she ate the omelet as well. To their surprise, Dipper was actually a surprisingly good chef.

However, in this case, the point was not nutrition, but buttering her up, something that the younger Pines twin did not do very often.

So, when Mabel entered the kitchen, eyes still dusted with sleep, she was greeted by an enormous stack of chocolate chip pancakes. Each one was practically dripping with syrup (of both the chocolate and maple variety), and piping hot. Then they were topped off with far too much whipped cream, sugared strawberries, sprinkles, and four gummy bears strategically placed in a square shape. No one quite knew why the gummy bears had to be in a square shape, but Mabel would not eat them any other way. So, square it was.

"Is this for me?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Could you honestly see me eating that much sugar?"

"Probably not," Mabel admitted with a laugh. "What's the occasion?"

"I figured that I'd do something nice for my sister. Does there have to be an occasion?"

"I guess not, but you generally have a problem with my courting Type 2 Diabetes," Mabel replied through a mouthful of sugar. "What's the dealio?"

He couldn't keep a straight face. You'd think that living with someone that had Grunkle Stan's criminal record, a bit of that cunning and ability to lie would rub off. But it never did, and so lying lay outside of Dipper's range of skills.

"...So I've been doing some thinking."

"That's new."

"Mabel."

"Sorry, bro," she chuckled through strawberries. "Continue."

Dipper's hand reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, then he plowed on. "Well, I've been thinking that I'm kind of tired of mooching off of Grunkle Stan for everything."

"Oh Dipthuh."

"What?"

He looked up to find Mabel with her cheeks stuffed like that of a chipmunk's, a sympathetic expression pulling her eyebrows together. "Yuh're noth a mootch."

Dipper rolled his eyes, passing his sister a napkin that had somehow made it's way onto the table. "Mabel, don't talk with your mouth full."

After a few moments that consisted mainly of Mabel chewing and swallowing, she took the napkin to wipe off a good amount of whipped cream. "You're not a mooch."

Dipper sighed. "I know, I know. But I feel like it anyways, and… well… I feel bad about taking advantage of Grunkle Stan. I'm not a ton of help down in the shop, and you've always been better than me with customers…"

"We love having you around, though."

"I've decided it's about time I started pulling my own weight."

Mabel's head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she took another bite of pancakes. "And jutht how do you plan on doing thath?"

"...I'm moving out."

And suddenly, Dipper's face was covered in chewed up pancakes. He grabbed the napkin on the table and wiped it off, having to remind himself that he and Mabel shared the same germs, it wasn't a big deal, okay, maybe it was a little gross…

"What?! Why?"

"I already told you why," Dipper reminded her, wincing at her furious expression.

"Do you honestly think we don't want you around?"

"That's not it at all!" Dipper's hands came up in a reconciliatory gesture, putting one hand on his sibling's to calm her down. "It's a self esteem issue."

Mabel's lips pursed in irritation. "So, you're ditching us to fix your self esteem, when we could just as easily talk it out?"

"No, I'm leaving because I'm an adult now, and it's about time I did something other than hang around my sister and great uncle, just being all around useless."

"We don't think-"

Dipper cut her off, his voice cracking as he interrupted. "It's not about what you guys think about me, it's about how I feel about me!" His hand flew to his throat as his voice cracked, and he winced. "Okay, that was weird. My voice hasn't cracked since I was fifteen."

"It's not that weird."

"Regardless."

Mabel leaned back in her chair, no longer paying any attention to the pancakes. "I guess… I guess I can see where you're coming from. I don't agree with it, and I think you're being a poophead, but I understand."

"I can live with that," Dipper said quietly, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"What are you thinking about doing, then?"

"Well," Dipper leaned back as he contemplated. "I was thinking that I'd put out an ad for a roommate, and share an apartment on the other side of town."

Mabel leaned forward, thoughtfully placing more pancake in her open mouth. "Wewe you thinking of anyone in pawhticulawh?"

Translating her pancake-muffled speech, Dipper replied with a soft chuckle. "No, not really. That's why I'm putting out the ad."

Swallowing, Mabel finally allowed herself a smile. "Well, then, good luck with that. Try not to make your experience with said roommate end up like one of those rom-coms mom watches."

Dipper shuddered visibly, and nodded. "I'll do my best."

"And visit. Often."

"I will."

"Awkward sibling hug?"

Dipper nodded, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips. Mabel stood up with him, and pulled him into a hug that lasted approximately three seconds, then in unison, they patted the other three times on the back.

"Pat. Pat. Pat."

Mabel giggled and let go, eyes slightly misty. "Geez, you're taller than me now."

"Alpha Twin, right?"

"I'll always be Alpha Twin," she replied, punching Dipper in the shoulder. "And don't you ever forget it."


"How's the ad coming?"

Dipper yawned and leaned back, looking down at what he had written. After a few seconds of scrutiny, he picked it up, rolled it into a crumpled ball, then threw it at his wastebasket. Along with a good thirty more failed attempts. "Not too good."

Mabel clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and leaned against his desk. "Maybe you should stop thinking so much. What's the big worry?"

"They'll think I'm a nerd would be number one," he grumbled, then looked up at the sound of a giggle.

Mabel rolled her eyes and gently pushed at her twin's shoulder. "They're going to think that anyways. You just have to be comfortable in your ad, and they'll think you're laid back. Low-key roommates are best."

"Because they don't keep you up all night?"

"Mainly that," Mabel replied, nodding. "Also, go for someone with a steady income, so that you don't end up paying rent by yourself while they mooch."

Dipper winced internally at that, then sighed. "Okay, what do you suggest?"

His sister laughed at this, shaking her head. "Don't take my advice on advertisements, I'll put it on a bill board and bedazzle everything. You should go ask Grunkle Ford."

"Do you think he'd listen?"

"Maybe if you bring Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons..."


"Princess Unattainabelle beckons you... but wait, it's a trap!"

Dipper took in a sharp breath, then felt a vague sense of deja vu as he was taken back to seven years previous. "Probabilitor?"

"Mhm."

The younger Pines twin smirked and rolled the dice, waiting for the dice to land on the exact number he needed, then let out a bark of laughter as it began to land on said number.

But alas, it was a trap.

"Dangit. Looks like you win again," Dipper sighed as he leaned back. "Why is it that you always beat me?"

"Experience," was Ford's only response as he scooped up the dice and rolled it over his knuckles into the box. "So, what did you need to talk about?"

Dipper quietly thanked the stars that they were finally getting to the point. "Well, I'm moving out, and Mabel said you'd be able to help with an advertisement."

"What for?" Ford turned to look at him as he put the box on the table several feet away, crashing his foot into the table as he did so. To Dipper's surprise and amazement, he managed to keep the sound of pain to small yelp.

"A roommate."

"Roommates are overrated," Ford grumbled before successfully placing the game on the table. "Just make it simple as possible. 'Wanted: Roommate, must have etc., then put your contact information."

"I know, I just have a thing for making everything detailed... Mainly because I get anxiety thinking about phonecalls," Dipper admitted with a chuckle.

"Then request that they text or email you."

"Fair enough," the younger man said with a sigh. "To be honest, I'm just glad to be pulling my own weight."

"Likewise," Ford grunted, nudging him with his elbow. "Not that I think you're a freeloader, but it does a man good to be out on his own-or with a roommate," he amended.

"Exactly," Dipper replied, before getting up from his position on the floor and stretching. "Thanks, Grunkle Ford."

"No problem, kid," he replied with a small smile before perking up. "Actually, I don't have anything I'm doing, and my WiFi works surprisingly well. You could use my computer if you'd like."

The younger Pines twin blinked in surprise before grinning at his great uncle. "That would actually be great. That way, I have an excuse for skipping dinner."

"Is Mabel cooking?"

"Yes."

"Then it's probably best you stay here," Ford chuckled.


"How do hamburgers sound?"

"Amazing," Dipper admitted, about to hit send. "I'm just about done with my advertisement, and I intend to email it to the newspaper. What do you think?"

Ford leaned over to read what was on the screen. "Wanted: Roommate. Must have steady income and no criminal record. If interested, contact via text or email at 555-0875 or dipperpines16."

"Simple enough."

"You spent 20 minutes writing that?"

"What can I say? I'm a perfectionist."

Ford fought the urge to make a sarcastic comment, then stopped himself. "You do realize that you yourself have a criminal record. How about 'minimal criminal record'?"

"That rhymes. I don't want to do that."

"It's an advertisement, Dipper." The older man reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Not an essay."

"Good point," Dipper replied, before finally pressing the send button.

"Now, we wait."


[I have no idea when I will update this, but don't expect it to be tomorrow. I have become notorious for slow updates. I hope you enjoyed! Oblivious out~!

*scoots out of frame*]