Title: Third Wheel
Word Count: 600+/-
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Scott/Stiles (friendship), Sterek, Stallison
Summary – 'Accidental Marriage' for my Trope Bingo bingo card
Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own Teen Wolf or make a profit from this story. It'd be nice if I did, but I don't. ::major sad face::
And all errors are mine.
"I don't care that it wasn't your fault!" Allison screeched. "How could you possibly think I'd be ok with this? I love Stiles; you know that. But how can you think I'd be ok with you marrying your best friend? How could you think I'd be ok with my boyfriend marrying someone else at all?"
"It really wasn't his, I mean our, fault," Stiles tried to cut in causing Allison to turn on him.
"Oh, no. You don't get to pass the blame off for this. You always have to stick your nose in everything, even when Derek tells you not to. He told you to stay out of the wood. More than once! But did you listen? No and now you're married for crying out loud!"
"Yeah, but just by witches. It's not like it's legal," Scott placated. "It's not like I don't still love you. I do love you." Those four words, three of them very special, calmed Allison down.
"I know you love me and I love you. But you're married… to Stiles."
Indignant, Stiles sputtered, "Hey, I'll have you know I'm quite the catch. Just ask my boyfriend." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yeah, we all know Derek thinks the moon shines out your ass." Allison rolled her eyes. "It's amazing he doesn't shift every time he sees you." Before Stiles could come up with a reply, she continued. "We need to find those witches and get you two divorced. Cause I am not being the third wheel," she gestured Scott and his apparent husband. "To all this."
"The witches said we have a profound bond…" Scott piped up meekly.
"We totally do, bro." Stiles threw his arm around Scott's shoulders. "Ours is a love that's true."
At the teasing, Scott shrugged off the embrace. "Yeah, yeah, bro," he emphasized the word. "That's just it. We're brothers! How the witches could mistake us for anything else, I have no idea."
Once he was sure he was out of reach, Stiles shook his hips a little. He grinned at Allison who did not smile back and leered at Scott. "Stop lying to yourself. I know you want some of this."
"Forget it," Allison threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. "I don't have to get you two divorced. Derek's going to kill you," she pointed at Stiles. "And then you'll," she turned her stare to Scott, "Be a widower and free again." Her smile was slightly cruel.
"Hey now, Miss Argent," Stiles pouted. "My wolf man is not going to harm a hair on my head. But yeah… maybe we should go try to get 'witch divorced.'" He made air quotes with his fingers as he headed back towards the woods. "We'll just explain the mistake. Cause even though I love you dude, I don't feel compelled to lick you from head to toe."
"Gross, Stiles!" Scott complained and Allison let out a small laugh. At least she was warming back up to Stiles. "Too much information."
"Sure, dude. I won't even mention some of the things you've said to me because I don't want your girlfriend to make me a widower."
Grabbing Scott's arm, Allison forced her boyfriend to look at her. "What have you said to him?" Her tone was half teasing and half steel.
"Uh, uh," Scott floundered before turning to look at the trees. "Witches! Witches, where are you? Hey witches!"
Further in the woods, Stiles laughed until he was bent over, his sides hurting. Once he sobered up, he stood and asked, "So, we're in a agreement about not telling Derek about this, yeah?"
"Not a chance," Scott and Allison said in unison.
