ALLO PEOPLES! New fanfic, ahoy! Okay, got the idea from another fanfic and etc. etc. Whoever made the other one, this fanfic is slightly dedicated to you, yadda yadda, Rangers pwn, yadda, corn muffins rule.

Disclaimer: FMA is owned by not Ayumi and Little Red Riding Hood in owned by some dead dude, and not Ayumi.

ZOMG, THE TITLE RHYMES!!!!!

---RHYMERHYMESWITHLINE,ZOMG!!---

Backstage. Five minutes to 7 PM

"What the hell Ayumi???!" Ed yelled, sporting a large lump on his head.

Ayumi put away the mallet. "What? I had to get you here somehow. Unconscious was the best way." She shrugged.

Ed glared at her. "What's all this anyway?" He asked, pointing to the stage.

"Weeeeeeeeeeell, there's this thing with the kids, and I volunteered us to be in the play thingy they're gonna watch." Ayumi said.

"You what?!"

"Actually, not volunteered. They paid me. A lot." Ayumi grinned.

Ed just continued to glare at Ayumi.

"Hey, other people are doing it too. Like Envy." She smiled.

"Envy's here??!" Ed yelled.

"Yeeeeup." Ayumi looked at the door. "Sounds like he's coming in now."

And at that moment…

BANG!! The door busted open and Envy stomped in, miniskirt flapping. "I'm NOT doing this Ayumi!"

"You have to. You can turn into a wolf and that costs less in costumes." Ayumi said.

"You can turn into a wolf too!" Envy yelled.

"Yeah…but I'm director. I'm not in this play." Ayumi said.

"I'm not gonna do it. Now way." Envy folded his arms.

"Ye you are. Or I'm putting this up on the internet." Ayumi said innocently, pulling out a picture of Envy and her making out.

Envy's and Ed's face flushed. It was a pretty graphic picture. "I still won't do it."

"And if I show these too?" Ayumi flashed a picture of Envy and Lust making out.

Ed covered his eyes. "Ew!"

Envy's face has turned an odd shade of white. Kinda like oatmeal. "Still won't do it."

"And…this?" Ayumi showed off a third picture of Envy and Sloth making out.

"Hey!" Ed yelled, staring at the picture.

Envy hissed out a string of very colorful curses. "Fine."

"Yay!" Ayumi said happily.

"Now give me the pictures." Envy said, reaching out for them.

Ayumi stuffed them into her bra, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Shit." Envy muttered, stalking off.

"Well Ed, don your red jacket! Time for the show!" Ayumi sang.

"Wait...I don't even know what to do, I didn't get a script." Ed mumbled.

"Don't worry about it, it's completely improv. It's supposed to be the Fullmetal version or something like that." Ayumi said, waving her hand around.

"That makes no sense." Ed said.

"Life doesn't make sense Ed, that's why there's educational television. Now hurry up! Show starts in 5 minutes!" Ayumi said.

"But…but…" Ed tried to think of an excuse to get out of this.

"Look, you're doing this so face it! Be lucky you have a better part then Mustang does…" Ayumi looked around, her eyes shifty.

Ed grinned. "What part does he have?"

"2 MINUTES!" Ayumi shouted through a megaphone, making Ed's ears ring. She ran off.

---DUNDUNDUUUUUUN…LINE---

That was really stupid. I didn't even get to the actual point of the story. –shrugs- I will next chapter.

I…Don't really know how educational television snuck its way into that one sentence…just something I said with my friends one day and it somehow slipped into this fanfic.

Please, don't hesitate to flame. My grandpa's lighter ran out, and he needs something to light his cigarettes with. Buuuut, of course, why go through all that effort? Review instead, he has to stop smoking anyway.

Speaking of smoking, anyone see that very creepy no smoking commercial with the cowboys?? –shudders- I hate that. "But you don't always die from tobacco." That freaked me out, sooo bad.

DUN SMOKE! OR TAKE DRUGS! OR DO you know…it…WITHOUT PROTECTION! AND DON'T etc….etc…