DISCLAIMER: See all my other stories! I´d never even pretend to have come up with the brilliance that is Firefly!
Notes: This is dedicated to the wonderful Jayne-gang….You keep my muse ever so busy with all the bunny tossing that I might have to rent another room just for them! You guys are the best ….and since this is for you I hope you'll like it. (Otherwise it would be really embarrassing for me!! Cringe)
BLESSED BE
It was the last thing Jayne had been expecting to find ….
They had just taken on fresh water the day before and he'd been determined to get at least one good hot shower with " real" water before it had made its way through Serenity's recycling system. That's why he was up at his ungodly hour, before all the other came to the same conclusion. And once Wash and Zoë hit the showers …who knew how long they'd be!
He frowned as he pushed open the heavy sliding doors, a spray of cold water greeting him.
How the hell had anybody managed to best him? Kaylee was sneaky enough and knew him well so maybe she'd …..
It was the last thing he'd been expecting to find, not anything he'd ever hoped to find himself in a shower with.
She sat huddled in the far away corner of the room, all the faucets running ….her clothes soaking wet. Her lips had already taken on a bluish kind of colour….it was the one thing that hinted at how cold she was, considering that the girl was all to pale most of the time anyway.
She gave him a furtive glance, then her eyes returned to staring at the wall, fixated on a point somewhere to his right. Her eyes were wide and round …like she'd been drugged up. Even to him it was blatantly obvious that she was nowhere near okay.
His first impulse was to yell for Simon, but then again …he was pretty much only wearin´ a towel ´round his hips and there was the crazy girl all huddled up and looking like she'd faint any minute …..better not make a ruckus! Judging by his recent track- record nobody was gonna believe that he had nothing to do with her bein´ all wet and shivery……
Better get her out of there by himself and then dispatch her on her merry way …..
"Hey …River?" He reached over, turning off the faucet closest to him…..
How long had she been here like this? The water was colder than ice!
"Girl …..whatcha´ think you're doin´, ha?"
River flinched, but didn't look at him. She pressed her back deeper into the corner, shaking her head.
"Don't …..Don't ….the water scares it away, keeps it from me!"
Jayne frowned at her. What the hell was this all about?
"Gorrammit, girl…I never understand a word you're saying, except for when you imply I'm girl or tell people that things might explode, so what makes you think I can make sense of you now?" he mumbled more to himself.
"I need to keep it away …keep it at bay!" she hissed at him.
"Whatcha goin´ on about?"
River hesitantly lifted her eyes to his scowl, looking at him for a moment with the cold water still pouring down on her. Slowly, ever so slowly, but with the peculiar grace that seemed inherent to all of her movements she lifted her arm, pointing at the wall.
"That…." She whispered, her voice taking on an urgent, strangled quality.
Jayne's frown deepened, but his eyes followed the direction of her pointed finger none the less. There, a few inches from his position squatted a hairy, black spider.
What now? She could think circles around a crazed bounty-hunter but she couldn't figure out how to get rid of a spider?
Sure the thing was not really a pleasure to look at and upon closer inspection turned out to be about as big as his fist but ….it was just a ruttin´ animal…..at least it wasn´t a rat!
"Spidery fingers ….creeping over me, over my thoughts. Nasty thoughts crawling like spiders….probing… and I can't push them, can't run or hide…all tied down in their web. Now my hands are untied but they tied my tongue, filled my head with their webbing …and…all I can do is scream."
Jayne´s eyes went back to her huddled form on the floor, her whole body shaking from the cold. She was truly and goodly scared of that ugly critter. He knew it wasn't just that, the animal sure did trigger some bad memory, even he could see that.
"Scattering around …over me, inside my head…..tearing at me with their looks and their spidery fingers." She gave a small whimper, biting her lip. "It's watching me!"
"Well if it bothers you so much….." he said with shrug, moving towards the spider.
Damn thing hadn't moved the whole time, probably even more scared than the doctor's crazy sister! But if that was the obstacle that stood between his shower and her leaving the gorram´ room, he'd take care of it. He wasn't squeamish about things like that…..if not for River, he'd probably have to get rid of it for Kaylee anyway.
"No killing, no squashing …"
She might be scared of it and she wanted the spider gone ….still, she didn't want it dead.
There she was all scared and cold and crazy, in the worst position imaginable: At his mercy…..and still she'd ask him to not harm the thing that had caused her pain and distress or some kind of episode. There she was looking at him without pretence; with some kind of unjustified trust that not only he'd help her, but that he'd also do it on her terms!
How much more proof did one need that she completely off her nut?
What was the darn girl thinking, permitting of course that she'd have a clear, consistent thought for a second?
What did she think where she was? This was a ruttin´ spaceship, there was no window or garden or some such …he couldn't just set the ruttin´critter free or anything!
" Please….."
It was the please that did him in, added so very softly almost like an afterthought. He looked back over his shoulder and she met his impatient gaze with those doe's eyes of hers and all that vulnerability painted clearly across her face.
Rolling his eyes he carefully caught the spider between his hands and carried it out of the room. He set it free to skitter away on the catwalk above the cargo bay, hoping that now that the obstacle was gone, she'd follow suit.
But when he returned, River was still huddled in the corner whispering to herself….
Jayne looked at her, turning the other faucets off, moving very slowly so as not to spook her. Part of him was still anxious that something …anything might set her off.
"Thing´s gone now …..see." He pointed at the spiderless wall." You can just …..go…."
She gave him an inquisitive look. Jayne rolled his eyes.
"I didn't squash the ruttin´ thing, okay?" After a while she nodded, still shivering all over from the cold.
Why the hell was she still here huddled up like that?
He looked down at her, hair all wet, her clothes all soaked…..Mal was gonna rip him a new one if he'd let her just sit here, maybe catch pneumonia or something.
"C'mon….girl. Let's get you outta here and have your brother take care of that mess, ha? You look like some drowned rat!"
He squatted down, still keeping his distance, holding out his hand to help her up. River looked at his hand, then up into his face and at his hand again. Looking at it as though she was evaluating his proposition, inspecting his hand for a moment until she reached out one arm, shaky from the cold water and took his hand. But instead of letting him help her to his feet she moved towards him in some sort of crawling motion, leaning against him for support.
Suddenly Jayne was very aware that he was nearly naked, despite the fact that she was drenched in ice cold water.
River Tam might be a lot of things; kind of insane for one, a knife wielding madwoman, but first and foremost she was a girl. A pretty one at that …her purple dress completely soaked, clinging to her delicate body…..
Jayne could feel all the muscles in his body going tense as the sodden material of her dress brushed up against his thigh and chest. She must have noticed because she looked at him abruptly, her fingertips resting on his chest, right over his heart. For a moment her head dipped back as though she was fainting, her eyes closing, concentrating on his heartbeat, his pulse speeding up under her hand…mesmerized
Oh …now this was ridiculous!
Jayne gripped her shoulders as resolutely as he dared. River´s head snapped back, her eyes now clear and focused on him.
He needed to do something! How did this happen to him?
Why could she not have her crazy little episodes with somebody else? Why did it always have to be him with the cutting and the threatening?
"Hey …River….." He was almost tempted to give her a little slap, but he was sure that wouldn't go over well with her …and there was no point to it since it would not bring her to her senses anyway!
Jayne groaned inwardly, pulling her to her feet. She swayed slightly, stumbling against him.
"Can't stand, can ya´?"
For once she was keeping that constantly babbling mouth shut, but her lip was shaking and it had not lost its bluish tint.
He let out a frustrated growl. Fine …he'd take her to her brother but ….
He leaned her against the doorframe for support.
"Look, here's what we're gonna do…" he told her as though he was talking to a child.
" You wait here, while I get me some pants, cause this towel thing is not gonna work for the both of us and your brother won't like it either." River hugged herself, nodding.
"Not worry Simon ….so anxious, wound so tight…."
"Yeah ….know what you mean. Now you wait here!"
