xo. Click Here .xo
Description: Its amazing what lies behind those click here buttons. SoKai ONESHOT
Lol my old computer started working, and I found this file again 8D. I decided on putting it back on FF. Why? I felt like it xD. I wrote this like… a year ago so I apologize for any errors! (and for any juvenile behavior) Oh, and plz review X3
"Thirteen unread messages…" Sora read across the screen of his macbook air. God knows how much munny that cost him, but he needed a portable computer with him from time to time. I don't see you traveling the worlds on a gummi ship, now do I?
He scrolled down across the page in boredom, and couldn't stand the pale colors of the hotmail page. Then, one tiny bolded name caught his eye. He read "Kairi", and gulped in horror. He dared to click the "Click Here" command button, and opened his eyes to see the worst.
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Dear Sora, ( Ha, bold font!)
The past 4 months without you on this island has been great! I'm sure you remember me… your EX- girlfriend, Kairi. I just wanted to let you know, that I survived without you here… therefore, I'm not that weak clingy girl you claimed me to be!
I'm probably sure some nobodies are attacking you right now, but I don't give a damn! They can eat you for all I care! And how dare you break up with me when you were about to leave! That is so cliché! You think I can't beat you up just because you're not standing in front of me? Well, you're wrong there, bucko!
There's such thing as e-mail, you know. And since we've established that fact, I'll use this time to personally beat you up and tell you what I was supposed to say after that dreaded day you broke my heart. Here we go:
You insensitive, heartless, scrawny bastard! I hate you! I don't know why I even bothered to go out with you! You act so –adorably- childish! I hate you so much, and I should have gone out with Riku instead! (Don't act like that didn't hurt, cause I know it did in your little tiny heart!)
He's so much cooler than you are! He even has better style, unlike you. That sleeveless jacket was so last year! Plus, you wear shoes that are ten times larger than your original shoe size. You just wear huge shoes so girls would think you have big feet, and that is NOT a good image to have.
And you told me you loved me. Really? Well, if you love me, then why do you keep touching Riku, huh? Are you gay? Why do you stare at other girls? I'm as sexy as they are, thank you! And if you really loved me, why the hell didn't you jump across the gap when we were separated 3 years ago?! Huh?! Huhhh?!
I hate you so much,
-Kairi
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Dear Kairi, ( Oh, bold font, you're so aggressive)
I get it… you hate me. Obviously I remember you, because you're that annoying girl I went out with 4 months ago. So, me not on being that island is so great, huh? Then why did you miss me for 2 years, baby? I know you forgot my name and all, but then after I came back you were like, "Ooh, damn Sora!"
And of course I called you clingy! You called me –insert extremely cute pet name here-! Honestly, Kairi, do you think I'm some child molester? And I am not scared of you, missy. You can't beat me up, that's for sure… and I know what e-mail is! I'm not retarded, Kairi.
I'm heartless now? No, baby, heartless are those things I slay with my keyblade, because I'm the keyblade master. Why? Because I'm strong and manly! Just because I wanted to meet Santa Claus does not mean I'm, as you say, "adorably childish"
I am not scrawny, thank you! I'm pretty sure you recall our date in Atlantica, and boy do I remember having your eyes practically glued onto my chest! –wink wink- I'll have you know that having a six-pack is quite impressive for a guy like myself! And I'll agree, I am a bastard… a bastard for liking you for all those years! (Ooh, that's what I call a burn! …And that Riku thing didn't hurt!)
Riku is NOT cooler than me… you hear that? Have you seen his weapon? He totally copied that from a video game! His clothes are barely washed… and my sleeveless jacket is so in style! Leon's wearing it… he looks up to me! Okay, he looks down at me but… hey, I'm taller than you! My shoes are cool, so shut up.
Kairi, believe me, I did love you. But that was back then… though even I can't get you out of my head even now. I don't touch Riku, thank you; I was just helping him walk! I was holding his belt, not his ass. I also don't stare at other girls, they stare at me, that a problem? You can't deny my hotness, and you are pretty sexy yourself.
You ask why I didn't jump, huh? Gosh, Kairi, we were 14! If you didn't notice… there was a black hole down there! If I fell, you probably wouldn't have been able to catch me anyway!
Sincerely, ( I have manners, wiatch)
-Sora-.x.- -.x.- -.x.-
Dear Sora,
I was happy you replied… you want to argue more, don't you? Well, fine! Of course I hate you, and I am not annoying! You're annoying… have you seen your hair lately? One word. Haircut! I missed you for 2 years because… I'll admit that I missed you. But I was retarded to think that way…. And I never said, "Ooh, damn Sora!"… You're such a wannabe.
If you didn't know, (which I'm not surprised because your IQ is like… low) I'm supposed to call you something adorable once we start dating for a couple of months! I can't just call you Sora because it's just too plain! Even Selphie calls Wakka by pet names… and they're not even dating!
You are heartless! You never bought me presents, did you? Well, except for my birthday… but I meant small presents! You never remembered month anniversaries! You were never there when I needed you, either! Sorry, but you're not boyfriend material, Sora. (And stop calling me baby…)
Yes, I remember Atlantica, and I wasn't staring at your chest, perv! You were staring at mine, and I found it very uncomfortable! And I know that Riku thing hurt you in the least bit, because he's still better than you in my heart.
Riku's weapon is so much cooler than yours! I mean... a keyblade? Oh yeah, swords hurt people, arrows hurt people, gaining weight hurts people but keys don't hurt people, dumbass! Plus you don't set a fashion asset for anyone, and even though Leon's wearing the jacket, it doesn't mean he copied you! We both know he's fashionably challenged.
I'm sexy, huh? Well if I'm sexy then why did you call me fat? I had to go on a diet because of that! And I could have caught you if you fell into that dark hole. But if you truly loved me back then, you would have sacrificed your life for me!
Still hating you,
-Kairi
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Dear Kairi and Sora,
Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is a gorilla?
-Riku
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Dear Kairi,
Okay I'm sorry about that last message; Riku was messing with my laptop. Anyways, back to the arguing. I don't need a haircut… my hair is perfectly fine! It may require oodles of hair gel, but it looks fine. You also did say "Ooh, damn Sora!" when we were- - … I'm pretty sure you don't want me to continue that sentence.
I am intelligent… in a way. I may not be Einstein but I know a girl has a desire to start calling her boyfriend cute names. I don't find it comfortable… it's embarrassing… I don't know why you find it cute.
I did so buy you presents! Necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings! I spent all my munny for you, which is why I was always broke. Face it; you know I spoil you because I love you, which makes me boyfriend material.
You were staring at my chest, and I wasn't staring at yours. I'm not like that, Kairi, you know me better than everyone else. Sure you're gorgeous and all, but I went with what was inside you. Your heart, moron! You're a princess of heart… you're supposed to be pure… but I don't think calling me a dumbass is so pure!
True, Riku's weapon looks cooler than mine, but it isn't as powerful. Have you seen your keyblade? It's gold with flowers on it! That's so girly and I'm sure you hated it too!
Leon isn't fashionably challenged. He's troubled, that's what he is. He wears like… 5 belts on his waist. (I was not staring at his waist… ew) And since when did I call you fat? I probably thought it, but I never said it. I'm too much of a gentleman for that.
Plus I never thought you were fat, I thought you were perfect the way you were. Also, I did sacrifice my life for you. I had to stab myself with that keyblade to save you! You were missing a heart, so I gave you mine! It was painful, but it was worth it. I hope to see you soon, surprisingly, but I may get the chance if I'm not so busy.
-Sora
PS. I would write more, but I think Riku's trying to grope Xion.
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Dear Sora,
I don't think I can take this agony anymore. You've counteracted every insult I gave you… and it's been five months without you here. Everyone misses you… but more importantly I miss you. I'm probably just writing these letters as an excuse to keep me from forgetting you.
Can you come back, please? Just for a few hours, then you can save the galaxy again. I'm sorry I insulted you… but I need you here. I want to remember how good it felt to be with you… even though I kept asking you to buy me all those things I wanted. You're so sweet, even though this is just through e-mail.
I hope you miss me too… because I want you back, Sorakins.
Love, ( Yes, love)
-Kairi
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Kairi,
Dinner.
Tomorrow, 6:45.
I'll pick you up.
