Reviews would be welcome since i am new to fanfiction. I love to know what i could improve on.
He sighed in exasperation as his car began to sputter, it slowing down to a stop before a puff of thick white smoke billowed from under the hood.
"Fuck!" He yelled slamming his hands against the steering wheel. He gripped the rubber, knuckles turning white as he calmed himself down. "Where am I?" he asked himself looking for signs of life or direction. He stepped from the car bundling his jacket and scarf tighter as the cool air smacked against him. Squinting his eyes he could see faint lights in the direction he had originally been headed. Begrudgingly he gathered his belongings from the car and locked it behind him as he began to walk in the direction of what he hoped was a town that had a repair shop.
He was just heading home after visiting his cousin in the next town over from his, when he brilliantly decided to waste time and take the scenic route home, a choice he was quickly coming to regret as he made his way down the deserted road.
40 minutes later he found himself glowering at the "Closed till Monday" sign that dangled on a chain at the entrance to the repair shop. He noted that the shop had only recently closed 10 minutes prior, running a hand through his hair he groaned, "Damn, it's only Friday. Just my luck."
The sun had begun to drop rapidly as the dejected man trudged through the lit streets to find a hotel for the sure to be long weekend. While on his search he came across a lounge with a bright flashy sign. The sign pulsed obnoxiously welcoming all to "The Guild" what an odd name the man thought but soon pushed it aside in favor of savoring a nice strong glass of liquor.
As he entered the door a rotund man spoke to him, "May I take your coat sir? And see your ID?" He shrugged off his jacket and handed it over along with his driver license. The man surveyed it before nodding his head and gesturing to the second set of doors. He could hear the faint hum of a stage singer as he got closer and slowly pushed the door open.
The faint smell of smoke and liquor wafted along his senses as he scanned the room for a place to sit but he soon stopped still as his eyes landed on the singer. A beautiful women was perched atop an oak stool singing a rather depressing tune. He focused on the lyrics for a moment, a smoky and low drawl telling of a sad, sad man drinking his woes away all alone. He wondered how she could look so sad and why she sang such a depressing song at a drinking establishment.
He looked to her once again, her face was cast down golden tresses flowing down and covering her eyes and cheeks. Her curvaceous body was slouched over dressed in a black vest, a white long sleeved shirt trapped beneath. Her legs were covered tightly in black skinny jeans and dark converse covered her feet. He unconsciously approached the stage his mind telling him to hold her and make her sadness disappear.
He stared at her as the song approached an obvious end, her voice hitting rather high before plummeting a low drawn out note, a slow vibrato melting into a hum before dying out smoothly. He stood transfixed at the way her song still rang in his head.
"Did you like the song?" she addressed the man without looking up. "It was quite sad. Is that how you are feeling right now?" He asked concern hanging thickly to his words.
"I sing to my mood or to the emotions of others around me." She answered him quietly. "There was a man in here recently, he seemed so sad as he downed a bottle of brandy before shuffling out of here without a word. That is wher it came from." "I'm glad I would hate to have to see you so sad." He stated a light perking his voice.
At this the women lifted her head to observe the man that seemed so concerned with how she was feeling. Her heart beat harder as she took the sight of him in toe to head. He wore tan colored loose carpenter pants held on his hips by a simple gold buckled belt, his torso was covered completely in a black ribbed turtleneck that was snug enough to show the soft outline of hardened muscle. A quilted white scarf was wrapped loosely around his neck and she watched closely as a calloused hand tugged at the neck of his shirt revealing the ends of a darkened scar. Her gaze fixed on a strong jaw and piercing olive toned eyes before resting momentarily on oddly colored pink hair.
She shook her head mentally, "Why would you care?" she replied. He snapped out of a daze at her question, he couldn't help but stare at her large brown eyes that seemed to bore into him and hold his attention. "I don't know. I just do." He answered honestly.
She approached him slowly, "any requests? I typically sing improv." She asked sweetly. "You sing to feelings right? " He asked and at her head nod he continued, "How about singing to how you truly feel right now. With me?" he added quietly. She smirked widely at him, "I can do that." She replied gesturing him to a front row seat. She yelled to the bartender as he headed to the table, "Mira, get this lovely gentleman a drink. Make it a double." She smiled at her words and disappeared behind the stage.
The man made it to the table loosening his scarf as he sat down. He was staring at the empty stage in thought when a sweet looking women with long white hair approached him. "Here is your drink." She stated snapping him from his thoughts. He looked into her blue eyes and asked, "Where did she go?"
At that the women giggled, "You asked her to sing a song for you? Didn't you?" she more stated than asked. At the man's raised eyebrow she continued. "You're not the first to." She said as she sat in the seat next to him. He settled towards her anticipating a bit of a story.
"Every time someone does she asks me to get them a drink. Often times it's a beer, those men are typically humiliated by her words and eventually kicked out. A drink is when she teases them a bit while showing slight interest in the men." She paused at this placing her finger to her lips which were curiously curved in a sly smile. "She asked me to get you a double," she continued ignoring his questioning stare. "I think you're in for a real treat, she has never asked for that before." She waved at him giggling as she retreated back to the bar. He was confused and needed to know more but before he could get up to ask the barmaid more questions, a soft flutter of fabric brought his attention forward.
The beautiful songstress had entered onto the stage, the man had settled taking in her new appearance. She was stunning, her blond hair hung in thick loose curls framing her heart shaped face. Her dress fit to a tee showing off amazing curves, it was a soft red halter covering her chest completely while showing the skin of one leg with a high slit. She turned on the stage seductively and his jaw dropped at the dangerously low plunge that exposed the entirety of her back and cut at the side to show a delectable amount of side boob. Slightly muscled shoulder blades gave way to concave hips before showing off two dimples right above the globes of her perfect bottom. She looked into his eyes before winking and grabbing the microphone stand on stage.
Her lips parted slightly before her tongue quickly swiped along them creating a puckered sheen when they came together again. She started to sway her body softly as she began to hum a low note. The man's back stiffened as he watched her eyes drift to a close, her small hands raising to cup the microphone.
Her mouth opened holding an ahhh at an octave higher than the previous note, he watched carefully as her hips swayed more harshly as she started to form words. She started slow of a mysterious man in a thick fog who whispered sweet words while tracing skin. He lost the words as she dropped her hands down to her sides, they gently clutched at the fabric of her dress and lifted slightly showing even more of her exposed leg. His mind could only catch stray words of her song as hands began to roam along her body. "Warm," "Calloused," "Caress," sultry words filtered through a lusty smog as he took in her actions. She moved across the stage descending the stairs as he blinked stoically at her figure. Her words penetrated his mind as he began to collect himself. "Feel me," "Touch my skin," "Feel my lips," her word sung seductively as she came closer to his table.
He turned his body to watch her more easily, her voice dropped to a hum as she began to trace her fingers along the table edge coming to a rest on his thigh. His eyes bulged as her body sidled up against his side, and he took a sharp breath as her fingers traced the muscles of his arm.
Her humming hitched as she took the feel of him in, but she wasn't done and didn't dare stop just yet. Her face leaned down as she receded behind him rubbing his collar and kissing his cheek. She whispered "Touch me," into his ear and began to retreat back to the stage. As he registered her walking form he quickly formed his wits and abruptly rose reaching out to her. He grabbed onto her hand and pulled her back against his chest and placed his lips against her ear.
"You shouldn't tease." he whispered sliding his tongue along the shell, "Unless you're expecting something." He continued blowing out a breath against the newly wet flesh. "Maybe I am." She replied grinding her hips into his slightly. He chuckled against her skin as she pulled him toward the stage and through a swinging door.
As the door closed he pushed her up against the wall crashing his lips upon her own in a heated first kiss. She melted into the kiss easily responding with a tilt of her head. He growled softly pulling his lips reluctantly from hers, and traced his fingers along her exposed thigh lifting it to rest on his hip.
"My name's Natsu." He whispered reclaiming her mouth and sucking on her bottom lip. "Lucy" she mumbled as a response. "Lucy" He tested thrusting his tongue into her open mouth and dragging it along her hard palate. She moaned into his mouth scraping her nails into his scalp as he ground his hips into her. He clutched her bare thigh massaging it as he brought his hand toward her bottom. Her hand gripped his side when his hand snaked around her butt to toy with the fabric of her lace panties. An audible gulp was heard as she pushed him away from her.
"Natsu." She breathed. "Oh my god! I'm sorry." He apologized in panic, "I got carried away." His head dropped and his gaze was cast downward as shame filled him. "No it's okay. I just thought we should continue this in private." She replied with a sexy smirk on her face. His gaze lifted, hope in his eyes. She grabbed his hand and pulled him up some stairs to her apartment above the bar.
I actually really like the premise and may think to fluff up a couple more chapters, just to finish out his weekend. Tell me what you think.
