When It's Over
...
This felt new. Cappie walking away from her. It didn't happen often, because let's face it, usually it was the other way around. But she understands why he has to go back. And that while Rebecca's chosen form of pain management had been childish and cruel; it would be forgiven.
Cappie really was one of the good ones. The best, even.
It was a cliche really. A storyline that she had seen on countless daytime soap operas. The guy has to go off to save his current girl, only to leave the one he really loves behind. Or...loved, in her case.
Casey swallowed hard and shoved her list into the pocket of her skirt. That had hurt. To think about herself being past tense in Cappie's heart. Why was it that whenever she thought it was over, time and time again she was proven wrong?
"Why can't I get over you?"
-
"A banana boat, you?"
"I vaguely remember you riding one freshman year."
"Come on!" Casey laughed, giving a demanding tug on her boyfriend's hand as she bounded down the beach. "I told Ash and Frannie we'd meet up before we go out tonight."
Blue eyes, made even bluer from the intensity of the sun, surveyed the bikini-clad blonde before him.
"Case, I was just on a rather large penile shaped flotation device where tons of little demon spawn in water wings bobbed beside us and mocked my sailing prowess. I'm trying to salvage what's left of my ego here."
Dropping his hand, Casey stepped up to his lean body, her arms encircling his neck. When his hands automatically settled on her hips she was reminded and amazed that the feel of his touch on her bare skin still made her tingle.
"We had fun," Casey said softly, molding herself into him, then smiling as his head tilted down to get closer. "So shut it."
Cappie's lips twitched as he fought down a grin and brushed his nose against hers. "I guess it was alright. I did have a pretty smokin' hot first mate to keep me company."
There was a flash of smoldering hazel eyes but they fluttered shut as he pressed his mouth hers, and she felt herself gladly fall into the rush of feelings Cappie always seemed to evoke in her.
It was a rush that always let her be strong enough to ignore the whispers of her sorority sisters, and to not let Frannie's frequent snide-laced little comments about her "KT fling" get under her skin.
Two sets of hands started to wander, and when the sweet tortuous slick of his tongue slipped past her lips, she pulled back with a small gasp. Willing herself to remember they were on a public beach. And while her hand tangled in his already bed-tousled hair was okay, the one underneath his t-shirt grasping at his chest was not.
Then again, Cappie wasn't doing much better.
At least one of her hands was in a safe zone. Both of his hands had somehow taken up residence on her ass.
Her very toned ass, thank you very much. She had come to spring break prepared. Prepared to be as scantily dressed as possible. To a degree, of course. She was ZBZ, not Tri-Pi.
With wide, lust filled eyes, Cappie took a step back with a wicked grin and slid his hands up to the more PG-rated area of Casey's waist. "I should take you on boat rides more often."
Giggling, Casey brushed a series of quick kisses to his cheek and lips. "It's already been crossed off the list, Cap. Come on, we're late already."
But neither moved. And with a tug Casey found herself once again in a tangle of limbs, succumbing to one devastating kiss after another; her mind not even registering the backdrop of the setting sun behind them.
"Maybe we should go back to the hotel to change first," Casey finally mumbled, fingers grazing the waistband of Cappie's black boardshorts.
Cappie cupped the back of her neck."Good idea, " he muttered back. "Wouldn't want to show up all sweaty. Really, we're doing them a favor."
"Exactly," she breathed against his lips.
-
They never did meet up with Ashleigh and Frannie that night, she thought ruefully; sandals in her hand as she made her way down the dark, deserted beach. She remembers Beaver and Wade drunkenly knocking at Cappie's door around 3 am, but they were both too tired to actually find the motivation to answer. And then there was the lack of clothing to be found.
Not that they tried very hard.
Casey lets herself fall to the sand, smiling wistfully at the memory of Cappie putting a finger to his lips, then hers, motioning for her to be quiet as Beav had a very meaningful conversation with the hotel room door. She remembers how she teasingly bit at that finger against her lips - how it made his eyes burn into hers, and before they knew it, things started up all over again - and she has to hug her knees up to her chest as the rest of the night replays itself in her mind.
"Pathetic," she whispers to herself, eyes downcast as her fingers draw multiple circles in the sand.
She'd actually meant to say his name, like a reassurance that he, they, actually happened, but instead that other word comes out. But it's fitting and tragic and she wants to just get up and find Ashleigh so they can make this spring break the week of carefree fun she had envisioned.
But as typical, her thoughts turn to a more bittersweet kind of comfort.
-
"Oh, blast from the past. So you gonna pierce your belly button again?"
"Once was enough, thank you."
It was her first spring break in college and Casey wanted a more lasting reminder than a really killer tan and intimate knowledge of every freckle on Cap's body. Not that that exploration hadn't been fun.
He'd been surprised that she'd actually wanted to go through with it. Yes, it was on 'The List" as they'd both come to calling it, but that didn't mean everything on there absolutely had to be done, Cappie reasoned; his hand clutched in hers as the scary guy with the equally scary needle approached her.
"I vowed to do stuff too, remember. But you don't see me getting 'Kappa Tau' tattooed on the side of my head, do you?"
"That's because you squealed like a little girl at the thought of even shaving one hair off your precious head," she lightly sniped back.
So with her eyes closed tight, and Cappie whispering soothing nonsense in her ear, she let it happen.
It was quick and it really hurt, but when she opened her eyes and saw the delicate silver ring in her navel, she had never felt more elated in her life.
They decided to meet up with friends later that night. It was some bar right on the beach, where the beer was cheap and the likelihood of finding a hook-up for the evening was pretty high.
Surrounded by all of his brothers - Cappie was holding court at the bar - leading them all in their 5th beer song of the night.
After a while, Casey, Ashleigh and a few others had retreated outside. No air conditioning, plus the undiluted aroma of many sweaty bodies, not exactly making it pleasant to stay indoors.
But even outside, they could still hear the KT's.
"Cappie's like the chosen one of Kappa Tau or something," Ashleigh remarked thoughtfully, her back against the tree in the spot they'd designated as theirs.
Casey nodded and took a sip from her half empty bottle of beer. " I know, right? It's kind of amazing. And yet not, cause come on, it's Cappie."
Ash smirked and downed the rest of her beer before standing up to coyly kick her friend's foot. "You're so far gone over him, Casey Cartwright. It's disgusting."
Rolling her eyes, Casey gave her a bratty smile. "Just go get yourself another drink and meet me back here. And maybe ask if they have some Tylenol?"
Her piercing was really starting to ache now that the thrill of having gotten it was starting to wear off. But seeing the tiny glint of silver peeking out from the edge of her tank top; she didn't regret it one bit.
Ash stuck out her tongue and walked back towards the bar.
"If I don't come back just assume I've met the man of my dreams and we're making passionate love in one of the bathroom stalls," she yelled over her shoulder.
Casey held up her beer in acknowledgment, groaning a little as she took Ash's spot against the tree, the tender skin of her stomach stretching with the movement.
She heard a chuckle, and lifted her eyes to see Evan in a polo and cargo shorts walking up with some of his Omega Chi brothers.
"That's not the look of someone sober," Evan teased, nodding to his brothers to go inside without him.
"Am too! Well, kinda," she replied sheepishly. "I got my belly pierced, and it kinda-"
Evan nodded knowingly, "Hurts like a bitch?"
"Oh, yeah," Casey laughed. "So how's it going? We haven't seen you at all! No time for us anymore? Are we not good enough for you" she accused, giving him a mock glare.
"I'll always have time for you, Casey," Evan replied, smiling softly, then quickly adding, " but you know how it is. So many girls-"
"With so little tolerance of alcohol?" a familiar voice broke in. "Or maybe it's just that their standards are so low, right, Ev's?"
Cappie was smiling as he walked over to them, sliding in behind Casey when she moved to give him room.
"Hey, Cap. You seem surprisingly lucid," Evan grinned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Shouldn't you be passed out naked by now?"
"Oh, give him time. He's merely pacing himself," Casey teased, falling into giggles of "Ow! Okay, stop!" when Cappie retaliated by finding her ticklish spots.
"I thought I saw some of your khaki-wearing brethren in there, Chambers. I just came out to check on the little minx here."
Yawning, she leaned back into his chest. Noticing Evan's smile turn brittle as Cappie wrapped his arms around her, her fingers interlocking with his.
"What's this?" She nodded towards the bottle of water he'd set down beside her leg.
"That is from me and these," he announced, slipping two aspirin into her palm, "are from Ashleigh. Apparently she was much needed by some dudes from Ohio State for body shots."
"That's Ash - our little humanitarian." Casey remarked drily, washing the pills down in one go.
She turned her head to the side, offering an unspoken 'thank you', for which Cappie readily accepted if the soft, tender meeting of lips was any indication.
Clearing his throat a little, Evan motioned to leave. "I better get inside. I've gotten tanked pretty much every night since we've been here. Wouldn't want to make tonight any exception."
"I admire your goals," Cappie said solemnly, his eyes bright. "Later, man. We should hang out before break's over."
"Yeah, definitely. Later, Case," and with a nod of his head he was gone.
There would be no hanging out, and they all knew it. They were just words that needed to be said.
A duty required among old friends to keep from feeling guilty for letting a friendship fade away. She and Cappie never really talked about it, they were both so busy with each other and their houses that she would be lying if she said she felt some huge void where Evan had once been. But still, they had been the 3 Musketeers...
After Evan's somewhat awkward departure, Cappie had taken to lightly running the pads of his fingers over her stomach, his breath warm against her temple.
The fact that he didn't seem in any rush to go back to his own fellow brethren surprised her, but at the same time thrilled.
The truth was she often felt like she came in second when it came to his brothers, but it was moments like these that she felt foolish for even having those thoughts at all.
"I have to say, Miss Cartwright," Cappie murmured, the low sound of his voice setting off alarms in her body. " I'm finding your new piercing all kinds of sexy."
He fused his lips to her neck, and she closed her eyes at the gentle suction. She could already see the hickey forming there in her mind, but right now she didn't care. It was spring break. Try to find one person who didn't have a hickey somewhere on their body.
With a tolerant, knowing smile, Casey carefully turned around to straddle Cappie's body; her arms resting on his shoulders as she threaded her fingers through his shaggy hair.
"Don't even think about it. My stomach is so sore. So you can use all your trademark moves that you want, but don't count on getting lucky when we get back to the room later."
"Room?" Cappie feigned shock. "Case, we've progressed far past ordinary behind-closed-doors sex. Besides, my moves are legendary. So don't so sure that-"
She kissed him then. Slowly. She had to. To shut him up and also because he was kinda cute when he was all cocky.
She can't help the moan that escapes; enjoying the taste, the feel of silken lips. His hands urgently trailing up and down her bare thighs tell her he's more than liking this, too.
He groans in frustration when she pulls away - the gyrations of her lithe form against his coming to a mind-numbing halt.
"Case! You so don't play fair." Cappie was not above pouting.
Pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, she laughed and buried her face into his neck.
"I know...I'm sorry" she breathes, taking a second to sleepily inhale his scent as he cradles her into him. "You love me anyway."
There was a soft laugh, and then...
"Always."
She's still not sure she really heard him say it. She remembers the sound of the waves crashing and the warmth of his body as she fell asleep in his arms, but whether that one little word was spoken still escapes her. After all this time she still thinks about it. She's frustrated that it matters and tired of trying to remember.
What she does remember is that two months after spring break she and Cappie were over.
And it was on that same day she got rid of her belly piercing.
She told herself that it didn't fit with the new Casey. A girl who had drive and goals, a girl with a serious plan. Not to mention someone who was done with coming in second to a bunch of guys who considered beer pong a complicated, intricate sport.
But mostly she got rid of it because it reminded her of Cappie. And how whenever she saw it she could still feel his hand in hers. Those nonsensical whispers still haunting her.
-
Getting back to one's hotel room wet and naked is a tricky thing. Especially if the person, or person's, in question are trying to be as invisible as possible.
Needless to say, there was much embarrassment to be had, but Casey and Ash managed it anyway
The water had been fucking cold, and while she probably had sand in every place imaginable, it had been what she needed.
She's now accomplished all ten things on her list; including a nonexistent 11th one.
It's much later in the day, all the other ZBZ's have gone to beach, but after the morning Casey and Ash have had they've decided they've had enough of the ocean for a while.
Casey's sitting on the bed, her hair damp from the shower, listening as Ash lightly hums to herself. Sometimes the brunette will say something random, and all Casey can do is smile politely and nod.
She's not hearing a word, of course. Her brain is stuck in reruns and she doesn't know how to turn it off.
She knows, that at the time, it was the right decision to end things with Cappie. Some of the reasons to do it were wrong, but at least she's aware of that now. Ashamed that she allowed her view of him to become tainted with the opinions of so many others.
She needed to be away to figure out where she really wanted to be. And it's such a twisted sort of logic that she feels like crying.
Because not long ago, a second chance had come along, only to have it slip through her fingers.
"I want to be with you."
It's when Ashleigh plants herself on the bed next to her that she finally snaps out it. Wary of the serious look in her friend's brown eyes.
"Spill it," the brunette says firmly.
But Casey can't. Not now.
It's a story Ash has heard over and over again anyway, so she's not going to tell it. Besides, she's sure it would break her heart to even try.
"It's..." and she wants to say 'nothing', but decides not to.
"It's just hard to accept when things end."
Ashleigh raises her eyebrows, a quizzical look in place as she puts an arm around Casey's shoulders. "My, aren't you the cryptic one. Is this an Evan thing? I saw the cold shoulder you gave him last-"
Shaking her head, Casey starts picking at the bedspread. "It has nothing to do with Evan. It just...it sucks when it's the end. You're finally ready to fix things, you've realized what you want. And it's too late. You're all out of chances. It's over."
Still confused, but the anguish on Casey's face allows her to accept that this is all her friend can tell her; Ashleigh leans her head against the side of Casey's blonde one.
"It's hard to let things go. To say good-bye," Ash finally offers quietly.
Nodding into her best friend's shoulder, Casey gives out a choked laugh. And if a few tears land on Ashleigh's shoulder they both ignore it. It's what good friends do.
After a comfortable silence washes over them, and Casey feels the knots in her stomach finally start to unravel - that's when Ashleigh, in her never-ending optimism of all things, delivers a blow that can't help but inspire hope when she's ready to wave her white flag in defeat.
"Case, this may not be what you want to hear, but...who says it's over?"
-
The End (for now).
