Title: Puerile

Summary: Someone, somewhere must have really hated them. Because there was just no other explanation to why they were holding their brother's best friend in their arms, even if she was cute, adorable, and barely two feet tall.

Rating: T for language, themes, and some innuendos

A/N: Well, this was completely unexpected. But here it is! Since Fred is still alive, I'm believing this is what you would call an AU (In my mind, Fred never died..).

Oh, and disclaimer: I do not, have not, and will not (sadly) only Harry Potter, the books, the movies, the characters, or anything related to the franchise. This honor goes to J.K. Rowling. All I have is this plot. But as sadly cliche as I just now realize...


Prologue: The Unexpected Misfortune of Calamity

Someone up there must have hated them. Briefly, they wondered if they ever did anything so wrong as to garner such a horrible fate. They hadn't done anything bad, well mischievous yes, but bad, never! They didn't steal anything. They hadn't killed anyone. They hadn't lie… well technically telling Ginny that her hair looked fine(even though it didn't, due to a strange occurrence of flying birds, whizbangs, and an all too conveniently placed jar of hippogriff feed), wasn't a complete lie, right? Certainly, trying to appease a homicidal little sister didn't induce karma to such an extent, did it? Besides, they were acting on their survival instinct, and their survival instinct told them to not comment on what a mess the birds had done to her normally straight red locks. Nor should they comment on how her normally straight red locks had spontaneously turned a little purple (well Fred thought it was more of a navy blue).

Also, they hadn't locked anyone up in a closet anytime... recently. Nor had they exchanged anyone's bottle of strawberry mint shampoo into a bottle of the wonderful thingy muggles called superglue (once again, their survival instinct had told them to not comment on why Ginny's normally flowing hair was stuck up in random spikes like that also oh so wonderful thing muggles called porcupines. Those hair needles could practically poke your eyes out, mind you. And they were mischievous, not suicidal). Thinking back, the twins wondered what could have possibly set off such a horrible chain of events.

Did they offend someone? Nah, that couldn't be it. Maybe someone wanted to get back at them for a prank they pulled? Plausible. But nobody ever out-pranked the Weasley twins. Not to said that they didn't try of course. It was just no one had yet to succeed though. Could it be that maybe someone just really hated them enough to hex them this terrible misfortune? But who would try to jinx them? They positively had done nothing wrong. They were practically the embodiment of model wizards. The epitome of pureness and innocence! The greatness of all that is to be called -

"Fed! Reorge!"

At the sound of a small high-pitched voice, the twins were suddenly pulled out of their reveries and looked nervously at the little girl below them. The small girl looked back at them through large brown owlish eyes, a small pout tugging at the corner of her pink lips as she cocked her head to the side. Seeing as how the two large men in front of her were refusing to respond or even offer any coherent sign of consciousness, she called out their names again. Well at least, she believed that was their names.

"Red? Weorge?" she called, this time a little uncertain. Instead of replying, they gave her an incredulous look. Maybe she had gotten their names wrong? Puzzled, she nibbled tentatively at her lips and tried to remember. She couldn't really remember them well. It was as if there was a weird sort of haze that was fogging up her mind. All she could remember was red. A lot of red. And freckles. And fireworks? But just as soon as she thought it, her face scrunched up again. What were fireworks?

This time, the little brown haired girl looked up at them expectantly, her brows furrowed in concentration as she stared at them with a pensive expression on her small chubby face. Her cheeks were puffed out with a slight coat of pink and her little button nose wrinkled in concentration. Suddenly, as if some holy understanding transcended onto her, a large grin lit up her face, as she bounced up in excitement.

"Red" she shouted, this time a little louder, pointing at the red headed boy (one of the red headed boy) again. "Reorge!" now pointing at the other twin. She gave them another dazzling smile, and proceeded to attack them again with another hug. But thanks to her tiny stature, she could barely reach to their knees which then resulted in two very unstable twins whose legs were now unceremoniously bound together by a little kid at their feet. Needless to say, the twins were shocked. Well, to be exact, they were still in shock. Cautiously, as if she would sprout wings and pixie away, Fred and George looked down at her and then back at each other. Then they both looked down again. And sure it enough, there was a little girl flouncing in front of them.

A little girl that wasn't supposed to be a little girl. So how in Merlin's name had they managed to turn a 18 year old girl, not to mention their brother's best friend, into a 5 year old?


A/N: Well, like I said, this came to me in a spur of a moment kind of deal... just something humorous I (really) wanted to try out. I was really trying to make it seem as fun and humorous as possible (sadly i think I failed) but well, here's my shot! Anyway, I tried (or will try) to keep the character in their own character as much as possible. But unfortunately, somehow that didn't seem to work. *cries.

Also, forgive me on my grammar. I know it probably isn't the best and I tried to proof read this as much as I could but there was only so much I could catch. Not to mention I have a horrible habit of adding commas in really weird places.

Anyway, thank you for putting up with this prologue. Next chapter shall be up soon.