Title: What Sebastian Said
Summary: Sebastian is wrong. That's what Alec tries to convince himself. But the cruel boy's words keep coming back to haunt him, day after day, and soon, it's hard to believe that he's wrong and the blackhaired Shadowhunter in love with a warlock isn't.
Notes: Personally, I always thought that Sebasian's cruel words would have some sort of psychological damage on all of the people involved (I mean, they were either called disgusting, a bitch, or told that they're sick. I think they'd be affected in the long run, even minorly). I felt that Alec possibly suffered the worst because even though Clary and Jace found out they weren't siblings, and therefore the insults couldn't apply to them, what Sebastian said to Alec could still hold true, if Alec is insecure enough - and I genuinely think he is. Please note that I do not agree with Sebastian in any way and am just exploring what may have gone through Alec's mind later on, had the comment haunted him.
So. A little but of angst. A little bit of fluff. It evens out in the end.
Enjoy!
Warning: Extreme language at one point, the use of the f-bomb just once.
Dislaimer: I do not own Mortal Instruments, or any specific quotes from CoG
Alec didn't know why it was bugging him so much.
After all, the comment was gone and past. Everyone knew that the guy was a creep. Nobody that mattered agreed with him. There was nothing wrong with him. The one that was wrong was the demon kid.
At least that's what Alec tried to tell himself.
It had been said weeks ago, but kept coming back to haunt Alec. He knew that there were many people in the Clave that weren't happy with his sexuality. He would have bet five demon battles that if his boyfriend wasn't the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he'd be stripped of his Marks or at least sent away in a snap.
He was dating a man. A Downworlder, to be exact. That was enough of a reason, wasn't it? Izzy was in trouble all the time for dating Downworlders, but at least they were the opposite gender. Alec struggled nightly with the unexplainable fact that he could see the girls that Jace did, but not feel any semblance of the same way. Even being happy with Magnus, even moving in with him and starting a new life with him, couldn't erase the thought that something was wrong with him.
He tried, all the time. Magnus knew it, too. He had a long way to go with being comfortable with himself, but he was working on it, and he was getting there. He knew there was really nothing wrong with him. Isabelle had told him, Magnus had told him, his parents and Jace had told him, and he believed it as well as he could. Didn't matter if he believed it or not, though, because he wasn't going to change. If he changed, he'd lose Magnus, and he wasn't sure he could go through that.
He resigned himself to utter discomfort and went on with his life.
Magnus was busy, working some sort of spell in his office (Alec had been surprised that he even had one). He watched TV with glazed over eyes, barely seeing the screen.
"Alec?" Magnus opened the door and Alec glanced at him. He was sweaty and his makeup was smeared in sparkly trails all over his face. "Babe, can you grab me a glass of water?"
Gratefully distracted from his thoughts, Alec jumped to his feet. "Sure."
"You've got to come see this. It's amazing," Magnus said while Alec filled a glass halfway with ice, halfway with water.
Alec laughed. He had only moved in with Magnus a week before, but he knew that the man found everything amazing. From the simple weather to Jace's ability to come over for five minutes and clean out the fridge, it was Magnus's favorite adjective – amazing.
Alec found things less amazing, more astounding. Like the way that Magnus would caress his cheek even when he was sweaty and gross from fighting demons, and how the warlock could talk a mile a minute even after working a spell for at least an hour, and how he managed to say "I love you" at least twice every day, no matter the arguments or busy schedules they had.
"Here," he said and slipped into the office quietly. The office was Magnus's domain – Alec had only entered a few times. It was clearly his. A long, sturdy looking, ornate wooden table served as a desk, with beautiful designs carved down the side. Magnus claimed it was two hundred years old. The neon blue couch and spotlights, on the other hand, were more recent, within the last five years. The walls had just been redone by Isabelle – black with glitter, like her bedroom.
There were a few spare pictures on the wall. Magnus and his friends, some pictures that Alec suspected were taken on a very drunk night, and most recently, Magnus and Alec. He always smiled when he saw those.
Magnus chugged the glass in less than thirty seconds, then grabbed Alec's wrist before he could retreat to the wall.
"Come here. I want to show you something," he said.
Alec freed himself and stepped forward, towards the table. There was something there, but it was covered. Cold, icy lips met his neck and a shiver went down Alec's back. He wasn't sure if it was kiss or the feeling of Magnus's hands on his spine.
He turned and kissed Magnus on the lips. "Was that it?" he joked.
Magnus shook his head, scowling. "No." He kissed Alec deeper, for longer. "Would you be satisfied if that was it?"
Alec gasped for breath and pulled a few inches away. "Actually, I would be," he said. He reached his hand up and twisted his fingers in Magnus's hair. For once, it was ungelled. "But I wouldn't mind another time."
Magnus chuckled. "And I never thought you'd be the one to flirt… But wait. I need to show you my surprise."
Alec shrugged and leaned towards the table, curling his hand around the cloth.
Magnus pulled him back.
"Wha-?"
"I need to talk first," Magnus said, his manner suddenly grave. Alec bit back a retort – Magnus always needed to talk.
Alec wrenched himself out of Magnus's hold and sat down on the couch. "Okay. Talk away."
Magnus didn't join him like expected. "You've been quieter than usual. You keep pulling away. I want to know – is something wrong?"
Alec shifted. Sebastian's words popped into his head again, like they had every day, almost every time either of them uttered those astounding three words.
"I think we all know what's wrong with you. They shouldn't let your kind in the Clave. You're disgusting."
"No," Alec lied. No need to upset Magnus. No need for him to ever know.
Magnus's face fell and he took a towel from behind him to wipe his face. "You're lying, Alexander."
Alec felt chills go up his arms. The way that Magnus said his name, even when disappointed, seemed to do that. "What do you mean?"
"Jace told me." Magnus's face was now half clean and half glitter covered. "He told me what Sebastian said. You were muttering about it in your sleep the other day. I asked what the hell you meant by 'Sebastian' and 'wrong.' With 'me' in the middle instead of 'is!'"
Alec reddened. He had been dreaming about it? Talking in his sleep? He hadn't even realized. "Magnus, I –"
"Why didn't you tell me? You need a serious pep talk and I can't give one to you without knowing what direction I ought to go in!"
Alec buried his face in his hands. "I'm fine. I don't need a pep talk. It's why I didn't tell you. It's not worth your worry." Half of the things he said were mumbled.
Warm hands tugged his arms down. "You are amazing," Magnus said in between laughs. "Absolutely fucking amazing. Alec, you and everything about you is always worth my worry."
Alec didn't think it was very funny. "Magnus, don't –"
"Do you love me?"
"What?" Alec looked up at his question and was startled by his piercing eyes.
"Do you love me?" Magnus repeated again, slower.
Alec nodded sincerely. "Yes."
Magnus lowered his gaze, cheeks slightly flushed. In a hesitant voice, he asked, "Do you think that's a bad thing?"
Alec had to think about this. He knew he shouldn't. He knew he should just answer the first thing that popped into his head. But the first thing was confusion and he sure couldn't tell that to Magnus.
He loved Magnus. That was for sure. He had already confirmed that.
His parents accepted him, or at least claimed to. That was good. Other Shadowhunters didn't. That was bad.
And then he realized that Magnus wasn't asking whether they thought it was good or bad. He was asking him, Alec.
Alec knew that the feel of Magnus's lips was good. He knew that the careful, loving gaze that Magnus gave him was good. Magnus's gentle hands, his sweet words, his ability to make even Alec Lightwood smile was good.
Alec loved him. And that felt good. He wasn't sure how it could be bad.
"It's a good thing," Alec murmured. Louder he said. "It's a good thing."
Magnus looked up, hopeful. "Do you mean it?"
Alec kissed his forehead. "Of course I mean it." Half his lips now had sparkles, but Alec didn't even try to wipe them off. "What's your surprise?"
Magnus pulled Alec to his feet again and led him to the table. "Promise me that you don't care what that creep thinks. He's not worth your thoughts."
"I promise."
Magnus ripped the cloth off the table in an extravagant manner. It took Alec a few seconds to realize what was sitting there.
Two rings. They were glinting like mad and Alec realized he had been holding his breath when his vision blurred. He took a breath.
Nope, not clear yet.
He quickly brought a hand to his face to rub his eyes – because he wasn't crying. He wasn't. No matter what Magnus said, Alec did not cry when the warlock got down on one knee.
"Marry me," Magnus murmured, swiping the rings off the table and offering one to Alec.
Alec picked it up and observed it closely through his still blurred vision (it must have been the glittery walls getting to him because he wasn't crying, he absolutely wasn't).
"It's got runes on it," he murmured.
Magnus nodded. "That Downworlder Shadowhunter rune that Clary made up," he confirmed. "I've been working on these things for days."
Alec grabbed Magnus's wrist and slid the ring onto his finger before kneeling down to kiss the warlock as hard as he could.
He would always love Magnus Bane – no matter what Sebastian said.
"Darling?" Magnus whispered when they finally broke apart. "That ring was for you. The other one is mine."
Alec rolled his eyes and kissed him again.
Note: Yeah. I know, I know. I already wrote a FF where Magnus proposes. I think I ought to make a third, just so Alec can propose. Oh well, maybe one day. This wasn't intended to end up fluffy, but all Malec ends in fluff for me, I guess. So that's why I have two proposals. I happen to prefer this one, because it really has some deep introspective thought on Alec's part (the whole "good" part, I loved writing). But on the other hand, the other has innuendos and The Talk... So... Maybe it's a tie.
Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry about the delay for the PerFaPoMo. I'm behind for it and Nano. I posted the last HP chapter 3 days late and so pushed this back a day. I may post the next fic a little earlier though, or a little later... It depends. I'm debating whether to post an HP when the movie comes out. I somehow doubt that too many hardcore fans are going to be on FF when there are movie tickets waiting to be sold
Reviews are welcome! Feedback is, too! Magnus loves reviews! He wants to know how he should improve next time he proposes (Cuz god, he loves to propose. I've got at least five other proposal ideas swimming around my head)
