Saphiragon #4
After weeks of „Eragon bringing Saphira food to get together with her" Saphira finally agreed because she got bored of this routine. In addition, she had enough of those lame bunnies Eragon brought her every day, it was cool to get something to eat while not having to move your own ass for it, but Eragon was too bad to get her anything else. So, Eragon and Saphira were "together" now for like 1 week, but it seems that Eragon forgot that he was already in love with Arya. He was afraid to just tell Saphira that she was in love with another girl, she would maybe eat him or use him for cleaning herself after taking a "dragon shit". So he tried to piss her off in hope that it will be Saphira who wants to break with him. Too bad for Eragon, because Saphira doesn't even give a fuck about her "relationship" with Eragon so she thought Eragon's attmepts of pissing her off were just one of his "stupidity-phases". When Eragon decided that this won't work, he gathered all his manpower and went to Saphira. He asked her: "Hey! Hey! Hey! Want to see a new magic trick I learned today? :D" Saphira answered obviously bored: "Well… sure, why not." "OK, here we go!... *WHOOOSH!* You are single!" Saphira was surprised in the first moment, but quickly understood what he said and was actually very happy to get rid of Eragon as a "boyfriend", but because she was a smart dragon with a slight sadistic aspect in her humor, she answered: "Oh well, that's a nice trick! But I got a better one: *WHOOOSH!* I am pregnant!" She knew that dragons actually can't get pregnant like humans, but Eragon was so dumb that she assumed he wouldn't even notice it. Eragon was shocked and asked himself how that could happen, but don't wanted to come out as a loser now, so he grabbed the next good answer that flew around in his pudding-brain and said: "Oh damn, nice one! But I got an even better trick! *WHOOOSH* You must handle it on your own!" Saphira had her problems to not start laughing her ass off, but as a final strike she answered: "Hmm I think I got the best trick of them all! Listen: *WHOOOSH!* I'm not pregnant by you, it is from Murthagh!" Eragon screamed: "FUUUUUCK! OK you win, I'm out of here!", and ran away. Then Saphira couldn't hold it any longer and started to laugh like a crazy horse.
~Don't start verbal battles with a dragon. Well, you have a chance to win it, but if you win – prepare to be abused as an ass-paper.~
Idea for this story by: Random people with fucked up lives battling themselves on Facebook
