La Vita È Bella – Rumbelle Style
Warning: This movie is not a happy movie. I cry every time I watch it. However I must say that it is also my favourite movie. Rumplestiltskin is definitely not how he should act, and I have changed it so the man from the movie, Guido, doesn't act like himself either – it will hopefully be a mix between the two.
This is a simple story, but not an easy one to tell. Like a fable, there is sorrow and, like a fable, it is full of wonder and happiness.
The year was 1939 when he first met her, the girl of his dreams. She had fallen out of the sky into his arms, and he had taken eggs from the farm – which later found their way on top of her fiancée's head.
It had been a sunny day, nary a cloud in the sky. Positive. It was a positive day, and most from then on had been positive too. Most.
Rumplestiltskin had been driving to a new place (it was time to start over) with this man he'd barely known. Jefferson, at least that's what he thought the man's name was, was reciting a poem of some sort, which ended in "The brakes are gone." Being Rumplestiltskin, he did not acknowledge him, just lay in his seat, hat resting on his face, soaking up the midday sun.
"THE BRAKES ARE GONE!" Jefferson finally yelled out, causing Rumplestiltskin to jolt in slight terror, and trepidation.
He set to work trying to help the mad man – for what sane one would choose a stranger to take to Arezzo? He tried to pull the hand-break, he rattled the windscreen, he even tried the handle on the door in a wild hope that something might work. Nothing did. The car rattled onwards, downwards, and nothing the men could do would save it.
They were on a mountain, the biggest in Tuscany, and it showed. The car rolled, picking up speed. On a particularly rough patch of the road, Rumplestiltskin grabbed Jefferson's arm. The result causing the car to roll straight down the hill onto a field. Jefferson struggled with the wheel and cursed. This was probably not how he expected his day to go.
At the bottom of the field was a forest, of sorts. It was more like a patch of trees. Fuck. They were closely clumped together, and any hope of not crashing the car was futile. "We're going to die!" screamed Jefferson, and giggled to add effect. Rumplestiltskin eyed him warily.
The patch of trees only extended a hundred metres down the mountain, but it was enough for the two men inside the car to get lost. Somehow, through a decent bit of luck, they found a road, if you could call it that. It looked more like a wide walking track than anything else, but it was a road. It led onto tarmac, behind a pair of motorcycles actually.
The car, covered in trees, followed the motorcycles (since it was a better idea than going straight down the mountain). The motorcycles lead the way, twisting and turning through the narrow road. Rumplestiltskin stood, his legs bent at odd angles, trying to direct which way Jefferson should drive.
The road led to a small town. A fair stood at the start of this small town, ready to welcome The King. People were crowded around the road, and a couple started shouting when the motorcycles came into view. They moved to press along the edges of the road, so the motorcycles (and car which was now in view) could pass.
Rumplestiltskin shouted down to Jefferson "A crowd! Straight ahead!", then to the people "Move! Out of the way!" He gestured sharply, his right hand moving in a Hitler-esque* fashion. The crowd roared and cheered. They waved and ran after the car, stopping only when the two men had passed the band playing obnoxiously at the end. Rumplestiltskin just stared at the town, confusion painting his face.
Shortly thereafter, another two cars pulled up behind the fair. The beeped, and the crowd parted for it, cheers dying quickly on their lips.
A farm was where the Rumplestiltskin and Jefferson finally stopped. It was a small farm, seeming to sell more flowers than eggs and milk and crops. It only had one two-storey barn, a small cart, and … well that seemed to be about it.
Two pairs of legs could be seen from underneath the black car. One pair was still, as the owner was trying to fix the brakes, while the other was curling up to the first pair. They were also upside down, this owner knew next to nothing about cars, and was obviously doing more distracting than helping.
Jefferson had had enough "Move! Go for a walk! Get away from me while I'm doing this!".
Rumplestiltskin pulled himself out from under the car, he had always preferred riding a bicycle or a horse over cars – no matter how fast they travel. Unfortunately, riding a horse to Aruzzo wasn't the best idea – it would have taken a month!
Rumplestiltskin assessed the small farm and noticed a water pump. Perfect, he had gotten his hand cut going through the woods. He mumbled something about it, and headed towards it.
As he got closer, he noticed how much this farm lacked – there were two cows in total, a barn that probably housed ten chickens in total, one horse, and a hell of a lot of flowers. Next to the flowers was a pile of eggs. He'd have to ask around, see what the people here wanted for some. He hadn't had eggs for a long while.
He hung his jacket on a broom next to the pump, and started washing his hands. A small girl, only ten or eleven years old, turned around, startled.
"How's it going!" he asked in an upbeat voice. No need to scare the poor thing. He took a couple steps closer to her "What are you doing?" That part was obvious at least, she was milking a cow. "Did your mum put this stuff here?" he asked, nodding towards the cart full of flowers and eggs.
"No, the landlady did," she replied, warily moving closer to the pile.
"Is it a market? It's beautiful." he asked, "How much is it? How old are you?" Way too many questions, but she wasn't answering. Not that he'd given her time. "I've asked too many questions, haven't I? What's your name?"
"Red," she answered and her eyes grew wide.
"I'm Prince Rumplestiltskin. Nice to meet you." He took his hat off his head and bowed at a 90 degree angle.
Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes grew wider still. "Prince?"
"I am a Prince, indeed. All this belongs to me, this is where the Prince's estate starts. I'll call this place … " Rumplestiltskin pressed a finger to his chin in mock consideration, "Addis Ababa. I'll change it all. Remove the cows, bring in camels! It will be amazing!"
Red made a face, "Camels?"
"Perhaps a couple hippopotami as well. I must go. I have a meeting with the princess."
Red raised an eyebrow, "When?"
"Well right now, of course!" He exclaimed.
As though a message sent from the high heavens, a girl shrieked from the upstairs of the barn. It had a balcony, for some ungodly reason, and a girl – no, woman – was waving her hands about making quite the fuss. Chickens and birds flew everywhere.
Rumplestiltskin did what any decent man would do; he caught her. She'd fallen from the balcony, and was currently resting in his arms. He had collapsed when he'd caught her, and so the two were lying on the ground, nose to nose.
"Buongiorno Principessa!"
That was the day he met her. Best goddamned day of his life.
