You're little hands wrapped around my finger
And, it's so quiet in the world tonight
You're little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So, I tuck you in
Turn on your favorite night light
To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I had, honey
If you could stay like that

TAYLOR SWIFT - NEVER GROW UP

It had been three months since I had been home. I had left unexpectedly and only had the chance to text message my friends to let therm know I had to go back home to New York for an emergency, and that once I could I would let them know what had happened.

But three months passed and now I was back home in LA without having spoken to anyone here…and I wasn't alone.

It was three months ago that my life became a lot more complicated, and it was three months ago that everything in my world changed.

Flashback

It was a busy day at the personal styling business that I worked at, and to top it all off I had just been promoted to 'style director', which gave me another level of responsibility and stress. As everyone was buzzing around getting our celebrity clients dresses ready for the Oscars I got a phone call that set of a chain of life changing events.

I looked at my phone and saw my friend from back home in New York's face. I immediately felt that there was something wrong because my closest friends knew that during award season at work that I was only contactable for emergencies.

"Katie hey"

"Hey sweetie" She said with a shaky voice

"What's happening Katie?"

There was a long pause and a quick gasp of air. "It's Rick and Emily"

"What do you mean Katie, your scaring me"

"Ella, they were in a car accident coming home from the Hamptons. The doctors said things aren't looking good"

"Katie I will be there as soon as I can"

End Flashback

How could this be happening? I was freaking out. Rick and Emily were two of my best friends and I had only gotten home a few weeks ago from their first daughter Zarah's birth. So many questions ran through my mind, why, how when? Before I could even think or get these answers my mind went into overdrive and into a realm of irrational thinking. The first thing I did was tell my boss what had happened, and I would be gone for an indefinite amount of time until the situation was stable enough to return. Once I received the all clear it was go go go from there. I ran home and packed the bare necessities and got on the first plane to Manhattan.

The five-hour plane ride seemed like an overseas adventure, with time never passing so slowly. I couldn't even process going anywhere other than the hospital as soon as I had exited the plane. All I knew was that I needed to see my best friends.

From then on things never were the same. Once I arrived I sat with the numb bodies of my friends and said my tearful goodbyes, and within a matter of a few hours of me arriving they were both gone. It almost felt like they were both holding on so I could say goodbye.

My heart was broken. How would life go on? What would happen to Zarah? Rick and Emily didn't haven't any immediate family that they had ever been close to and my parents had always acted as surrogate parents to both of them for our entire childhood. They had been like the brother and sister that I never had and now they were gone. I always knew we would be friends forever and that we shared a special bond, but I never knew just how much I meant to both of them until their will was read three weeks after their passing.

Flashback

My mother, father and two of my other friends from New York and I were sitting in a lawyers office in the uptown district of town, where we had all been called for the reading of Rick and Emily's will. For the most part everything was pretty standard, with discussions of division of assets and how these would be used to provide a secure life for Zarah. Then the room became extremely tense and serious.

The lawyer who was seeing us then shared the news we were all waiting for. What would happen to Zarah?

"Rick and Emily only came to see me the other week, knowing that because they had just welcomed their beautiful child into the world that it would be necessary to update their will, so included within all the formalities is a letter from the both of them.

It read;

'In the unfortunate event that anything were to happen to Emily or myself, we know that the best place for Zarah to be is with our best friend and sister, Gabriella.'

End Flashback

So this leads us back to the complicated life changing position I now face.

I left LA twenty four, single (well single-ish, because I was going through an awkward 'just kissed my best friend in LA and now don't know where we stand phase') and carefree, and now when I came home I was a twenty four year old girl who was the shell of who she used to be apart from the times when I was with the light of my life, my little princess Zarah.

Dealing with the loss of Rick and Emily had been hard, but nothing prepared me for a new life with Zarah all alone across the other side of the country from my family and my core support system.

Walking into my empty townhouse with Zarah placed protectively on my chest I knew that this was going to be a tough job. I also knew that I needed my friends around me. But there was one I needed most in particular.

I knew calling him would be hard, I knew he would be angry and upset and that I might have ruined the only thing I ever wanted so badly in life but I had to try. Without a second thought u dialled the oh so familiar number of the person I needed most.

The phone rang once, twice, three times and then silence.

I knew he was there, I could hear his heavy breathing through the line, but I knew he wasn't going to be the one to make the first move. After the hundreds of missed calls over the last three months, why did I think that my one call would be superior to any of his?

"Are you there?" I asked in a timid voice

There was no response. Just knowing that he was there finally brought all of my built up feelings to come rushing to the surface and that was when I finally broke.

"Troy, please, I know you hate me but I need you" Silence. "Please, please Troy"

"I don't know what to say to you", said the gruff voice on the other end of the phone

"I just need you and I need you to understand"

"Where are you?"

"Home"

And then the line went dead.