Based on a Milady/Milord fic prompt by midtega. Contains massive spoilers for Mad Men Season Five, so those who don't watch the show – or who are not caught up on the entire past season yet – may not get most of the references. Don't read this if you haven't seen Sunday's season finale yet and are still planning to.
"Well, it's about time!" Pierce called out when Britta arrived at the Trobed apartment that Saturday morning. "Do you know how long we've been waiting for you?"
"Just over two minutes," Abed answered for Britta.
"Two minutes! I could have seen Don bang three girls by then! Mad Men us now, A-bed! Don't make me go please on you!" Pierce demanded.
"Well, now that everyone's here, we can all watch Mad Men now," Jeff pointed out, trying not to look like he was agreeing with Pierce.
"Really? You weren't the last one to get here, Jeff? That's how important your precious Mad Men are to you?" Britta voiced. "I still can't believe we're watching this ode to sexism again! I mean, we're not even expelled anymore!"
Technically, Britta was close to making a point. Back when they were expelled last year and needed something to do, they resorted to watching all four seasons of "Mad Men" from Abed's DVD collection. After they saw the whole series, they were hooked – or in Britta's case, hooked enough to hate-watch it.
They felt worse when they realized they didn't watch the first four seasons before Season Five started. As such, they couldn't jump in to watch the new season halfway through, and Abed – the only regular Mad Men viewer before now – refused to give up spoilers for the already aired episodes.
So they decided to wait until the Season Five DVD came out in March 2013, and watch the whole season together all day that Saturday. Yet it came to the apartment on a Tuesday, so Abed went on lockdown all week to keep anyone from peeking at the DVD.
Jeff had been spending more time at the Trobed apartment that week – which had nothing to do with Annie for once – yet his efforts to find the DVD had failed. So he barely avoided acting out like Pierce as they waited for everyone to arrive and see the show.
It got harder with Britta's last minute "Mad Men" bashing, as she kept missing the point that they were criticizing 1960's sexism, not endorsing it. She turned back to Jeff, stating, "You're part of the problem, too! You just want to see your precious Joan set women back to the 1760's with those giant boobs of hers!"
"That's funny, Britta," Jeff finally spoke up to defend his co-favorite character. "You know she's not one of those super thin stick figures you hate, and she's still the sexiest woman on TV! That makes her a role model against the evil male fascists that judge women's beauty! So by criticizing her, doesn't that put you on the fascist's side?"
"Don't you think that haunts my dreams enough, Jeff?" Britta cried out.
"It's true, I've heard her talk in her – uh, in her awake times!" Troy barely covered up after a death glare from Britta.
"All right, Britta's been put in her place, just like Don taught us! Now where is he? I want Don on that TV now!" Pierce demanded again.
"Okay, he's coming in a minute," Jeff was shocked to hear Annie say instead of Abed. He was further shocked when Annie went into her room and came out holding the "Mad Men" Season Five DVD.
"You hid it there? Damn it, the one place I didn't look!" Jeff lamented, not thinking about the other scenarios involving him in Annie's room for once. "How the hell did you keep it and not take a peek?"
"Abed knew you wouldn't expect me to hide it, so it was the best idea," Annie pointed out. "Besides, I love the show, but I love watching it with you guys more! I wasn't going to peek ahead and lose that, not for anything!" Yet after a second, she more quietly added, "Not with Abed watching The Dark Knight all week, anyway…."
"I had a Batman trilogy marathon penciled in weeks ago. It had nothing to do with you and your past with our DVDs," Abed interjected.
"Oh, like you didn't know back then we'd be watching this today! I dreamt that the DVD talked like the real Don and begged me to open him up! Do you know what that's like?" Annie spat out.
"Not since Tuesday, thankfully," Abed admitted.
Just before Jeff sprung into protect Annie mode – despite how this delayed the marathon further – Shirley spoke her peace. "Enough with the talking DVDs! I need to see if Don married Megan and saved his rotten, hunky soul NOW! I spent too many months praying, so get moving!"
If it wasn't for his own anticipation, Jeff would have teased Shirley that there could be too much praying. Thanks to whatever higher power there was, Britta didn't do that either. Annie then finally opened the DVD, took out the first disc and put it into the DVD player as everyone sat down.
The group couldn't hear the first few minutes over Shirley's last minute prayers. And they couldn't hear the next 10 minutes over Shirley's "Hallelujahs!" when she saw Don was married again. Eventually, everyone quieted down and Pierce didn't provoke Shirley too much by saying Don betrayed the 60's in getting remarried.
They even kept quiet once Trudy Campbell came on screen – just as Annie insisted. The others had already ruined enough viewing parties for Annie by pointing out their….similarities. To set an example, she refused to boo and trash Pete Campbell when he showed up this time – although it was a struggle.
But this didn't stop Annie from cheering and throwing jabs when Lane Pryce knocked Pete out in an office brawl. Between that and seeing Don fix Trudy's sink with a white shirt on, that was one hell of an episode.
It helped drown out the commentary two episodes earlier, which debuted a fatter Betty Draper. As usual, Britta was the only one to defend Betty, which set off the usual arguments from viewing parties past. At the least, Britta and Pierce stopped short of breaking the windows this time – although a few pictures on the wall weren't as lucky.
Fortunately, Jeff led the cheers when Joan kicked out her rapist husband in the next episode, which restored order before Annie cheered for Pete's emasculation in the next one. Yet it was Britta's turn to get riled up when Roger Sterling went on his LSD trip in the following episode. "Oh, that is so inaccurate! You don't see that stuff on LSD for real! Not if you're doing it right! So clearly it doesn't count!"
"The pool was for who would take LSD first, not who did it right! And since none of you guessed right…." Jeff left lingering until the others grumbled and pulled out money for him.
"I shouldn't have to give you that much," Troy offered. "I only bet on Peggy because everyone else but you bet on her! Can't I get a peer pressure discount? Those exist, right? I get to invent one, right?"
"Sorry Troy. You doubt Peggy, you pay like everyone else," Jeff gloated. He ignored how he just guessed Roger at random months ago, instead of choosing his other favorite character like those other idiots, and just took the money for his lucky guess.
Jeff could only gloat in peace for one episode, once Troy freaked over young Sally Draper seeing Roger getting "serviced" by Megan's mother. "Oh God, Sally, why? You don't deserve to have nightmares about that until you're 16 too! Just remember that Roger's not your dad, Megan's mom isn't your mom and that codfish party isn't your parent's bedroom! I wish I was that lucky, but I'm not, and one of us is bad enough!"
"You see what horrible lessons this show teaches now?" Britta voiced before going over to Troy. In between Troy's crying and Britta's attempt to therapize him, the rest of the group couldn't focus on the show. So they paused and let Abed entertain them by reenacting Season Five scenes as Don Draper – which Annie blushed at less than usual, and which Jeff noticed less than usual.
Finally Troy and Britta were ready to watch the real Don and company again. And for the next few episodes, they were able to stay relatively quiet. However, when they got to "The Other Woman" episode and Pete helped convince Joan to sell her body to help land the Jaguar account, both Britta and Annie nearly charged the TV in anger.
Yet Jeff didn't have a word to say – not even when Peggy left Don and the firm at the end. And it took a while for Annie to realize Jeff hadn't been making a sound for some time. He even stayed quiet with everyone else when Lane met his fate soon afterwards.
But of course, after they finally got through the season finale, the silence was broken by Britta. "Was that it?" she objected. "I waited months to hate-watch this, and they couldn't even give us any more Betty than that?"
"Regular fans waited 16 months to see this season live. You got lucky in only waiting half that time," Abed said matter of factly.
"Oh, cry me a river, Megan lover!" Britta shot back.
"Britta, let's not lose focus," Annie insisted. "The real outrage is Pete cheated, kept getting beat up, and Trudy's still letting him have an apartment in the city! How much more oblivious can she get before she figures him out and punches his rat face too? This is why I wish you'd all compare me to someone else!"
"Speaking of comparisons, anyone else get a Rory Gilmore vibe from that crazy girl with Pete?" Troy inquired.
"The answer is no, and it will stay no," Annie said grimly to Troy and everyone else. "I don't need Gilmore Girls tarnished any more than it already is, okay?"
She then looked for someone else to change the subject and landed on Jeff – who was still staying perfectly still and quiet. In fact, he looked even more lost in thought despite the show being over. "Jeff? What's wrong?" Annie checked.
"Nothing," Jeff replied, yet undercut his case by going to the bathroom without another word.
"Okay, can I tell my own stories about being on LSD in the 60's now?" Pierce demanded.
"Nuh uh! Jesus already stood by and let me see Roger's old naked butt! He won't let your stories hurt my brain too! Not if He's everything I always believed in!" Shirley pleaded.
With that, Annie stepped aside and let the group's post Mad Men debates take their course. In the meantime, she slipped to the bathroom and hoped Jeff wasn't really 'using' it – although any other reasons for going in there probably weren't good either. "Jeff? Are you really doing anything in there?" she checked.
"Nothing," she heard Jeff say again. Annie then turned the door knob, peeked inside and was relieved at first to just see Jeff standing around. With the coast clear, she slipped inside and closed the door behind her before Jeff could object.
"Troy and Abed must appreciate you keeping them company in here too," Jeff quipped.
"That's the most I've heard you talk for hours," Annie recounted. "Jeff, you weren't that absorbed by the show when we watched their best seasons! Why would the second worst one keep you quiet like that? Were you that disappointed or riveted or what?"
Annie knew Jeff could get emotional over shows despite himself – clearly remembering hearing tears when Horsebot 3000 met his tragic end. This seemed a little weirder and more personal, however, for reasons she couldn't get yet. Or maybe he was bored by Don being domesticated and not showing off his suits so much.
"He failed," Jeff spoke out to break Annie's train of thought. "He tried to be better and he's going to fail, isn't he?"
"Who failed, Jeff? Pete? Honestly, why would you be shocked at that scumbag failing at anything?" Annie groaned.
"Not that scumbag, the other one! Don!" Jeff surprised him. "He tried to behave himself this season! He was committed to Megan and he tried to start over with her and everything! But she couldn't stay at the agency, and now she's going to be a real actress….and he's just going to start cheating again next season after all. And if that wasn't enough, he couldn't stop Joan from selling herself, and he couldn't save Lane….he couldn't even keep Peggy around anymore."
Annie was surprised at Jeff being that critical of his obvious role model – or so she assumed. "Well, um….that's how TV works, Jeff," she started. "Characters like Don can't stay on their best behavior forever. Otherwise they'll lose the audience."
"Come on, isn't this supposed to be TV's most daring show?" Jeff answered back. "Instead, we got the same old lesson that lying, sleazy, handsome, shallow big shots can't change after all. That's how it has to be, doesn't it?"
"He helped Megan get her shot at the end. That's a bit of change, isn't it?" Annie offered, as she felt this conversation becoming less and less about Don Draper.
"And she's going to rise up while he goes back to banging everything on Madison Avenue. And that's the lesson, isn't it?" Jeff laid out. "He can't be a good person and let the most important people in his life grow and change too. Even when he actually tries, he can't do it! He won't even do anything to keep them around when they leave for another job! No matter how much they mean to him! For God's sake, was he too drunk to remember anything in the Suitcase episode?"
"You're not mad about him and Megan, are you?" Annie realized later than she should have. "You're upset that Peggy left the agency. And left Don." Jeff's silence gave Annie her answer. "Well, she had to do that, you know! She couldn't be Don's protégé that he takes for granted anymore!"
"I know that, of course I know that," Jeff assured. "And she shouldn't be. It's incredible that she had the guts to leave him, and I am proud of her! But…..she really couldn't grow and change with Don still in her life, could she? He didn't even try to convince her that Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce was where she belonged! Maybe it wasn't, really, but that's only because he let it get that bad! Because that's all he can do after all!"
Jeff sighed and caught his breath as he sat down on the toilet lid. "I know she was right to leave him and surpass him…..she already surpassed him years ago. I just….thought he'd have more time with her before she realized that."
"You're really hard on Don," Annie noted. "All this time I thought he was your favorite. I mean, how the hell wouldn't we all think that? At least we figured Joan was your next favorite, because…..well, how the hell wouldn't you love her?" She laughed to show that she was joking around, although her next point was very serious. "But Peggy's really your favorite, isn't she?"
"Well…..she is awesome," Jeff reasoned. "She's brilliant, she's a trailblazer, and she's the only real thing that people like Don and Pete know! She's the real hero of the whole show…..everyone else just screws around and gets further and further beneath her. She's tough and self-reliant and brave and formidable….she's, well…."
Jeff stopped himself right there, yet he didn't really need to finish for Annie to get his point. If he did finish, Annie was fairly confident that he'd say, "She's you." Granted, Peggy would look awful with Disney eyes, but the rest kind of fit.
Of course if Jeff saw that much of himself in Don – and bashed himself accordingly – he would see Annie in Peggy and lament that her and Don weren't working together anymore. Like Jeff and Annie wouldn't be together at Greendale anymore in just a few months. And if he was that upset over Don and Peggy coming apart – and that Don couldn't keep her around even while trying to be a better person….
This made Annie both saddened and flattered all at once. Saddened over Jeff's doubts, and flattered over being compared to someone other than Trudy. And there was the implication of how much Jeff really cared about 'Peggy' – although by this point, it wasn't so surprising. By now, they just knew deep inside what they meant to each other, even if they barely talked about it – which wasn't as frustrating as it used to be.
"You know, I've heard a lot of Don impressions over the years," Annie finally chimed in. "But I've never heard yours, Jeff. That doesn't seem right somehow."
"I thought I was already impersonating Don for years. I'm sure you or Abed or Britta have said that over and over," Jeff figured.
"Abed's said it less than you'd think, actually," Annie informed. "But I want to hear you do Don now. I know how, too! Let's pretend you're Don, I'm Peggy, and I just told you I'm leaving the agency! How would you, as Don, convince me to stay more than the real Don did? Go on, act it out!"
"Annie….I'm not the actor of the group. I'm certainly not the impressionist of the group," Jeff reminded her. "And besides, my Don would probably say things that….the real Don wouldn't be caught dead saying."
"Let's pretend none of that matters for now," Annie proposed. "Forget that you can't do Don's voice, or that you have more product in your hair than he does! And forget that if Don said….whatever you'd say, it'd be incredibly out of character and ruin the show. Just….tell Peggy how you still want her in your life. Speak from the heart – or what you wish was in Don's heart."
Asking Jeff to speak from the heart as anyone was still risky, even now. Yet Annie thought she could really take a shot now – and at least have something to compare to Abed's impression. She waited for Jeff to accept or reject the part, and after a few more seconds, he spoke up.
"Peggy? Peggy!" Jeff tried to say while sounding like Don – yet like he said, he was no impressionist. "See, what'd I tell you?" he pointed out as himself, which made Annie chuckle and even got a smile from Jeff as well. Yet he soon got focused and started to talk in his normal voice, albeit as another person.
"Peggy. This isn't the first time you threatened to leave me – but that time, I promised I would spend the rest of my life trying to hire you if you didn't join our new agency. I guess that won't work this time. Maybe it shouldn't. But….I wish it would," Jeff pretended to lament as Don Draper. If he was pretending that much.
"I am eternally grateful you didn't leave us all behind a few years ago. Getting those extra years to work closer with you, see you grow even further….and prove that someone else could know who I really am and accept me….I owe you everything for that. Since you're leaving, I guess I forgot that somewhere down the line. But if you stay, I promise I will try harder than I've tried at anything to not forget it again. I just….I wish this could always be where you belonged," Jeff pretended – supposedly.
"If it isn't….then I just wish someone could always see you the way I do. The way I always have, even if I never let you know it. And….I really don't want to be a stranger to you. I want to be right there when you conquer Madison Avenue and leave the Roger's and Pete's and me's of the world in the dust! It's what I've always wanted! Even if I wasn't convinced I could let myself see it," Jeff/Don revealed. "But if you stay, it'll be the wake-up call I need to earn it."
"I know you'd be a better worker and a better woman for leaving me behind. But I'll be a far worse man for it – as if I could sink any lower. The biggest reason I haven't is because of you , but I know it shouldn't be the reason you stay. I know that much! Just…." Jeff filled the silence by taking Annie's hand into his own. "Thank you, Peggy. It's way too late, but thank you for everything. And that's not what the money is for."
Annie struggled not to cry – which perhaps made it fortunate that Jeff broke character and said, "Damn, I wanted to fit in that catch phrase better. Can I get another take?" Annie just closed her eyes and laughed, hoping both actions would keep the tears down.
"That's all right, you can fix it in editing. It's still the best Draper speech I've ever heard, though," Annie assured as she opened her eyes again. She stood over a sitting Jeff as he still had her hand in his, and was smiling a small but soft smile at her approval.
At that point he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, exactly like Don kissed Peggy's hand before she left the agency. Annie actually giggled at this Mad Men-esq attention to detail, and Jeff even smiled through his kissing as well. But after the smiles passed, he kept his lips against her hand, which made Annie more confused on what he was trying to do.
Yet Jeff answered all her doubts by squeezing her hand tighter, kissing it deeper and giving her that special soft stare of his. That told Annie all he wanted to convey and prove with this kiss – and it wasn't just to kiss her hand even longer than Don kissed Peggy's.
By this point, the meanings behind his gestures and special actions towards Annie spoke louder than words. And they made her more assured that the words would come eventually.
It was now just a question of when and where, not if, which made all the difference in the world.
Finally Jeff broke his lips from Annie's hand and gave a sheepish chuckle, while swiping the skin he kissed with his thumb. "Yeah, Abed's got nothing on your Don," Annie finally conceded. "Don has nothing on your Don either, you know. People were stupid and didn't know how to adapt back then, that's the whole point of the show! I think we're more evolved now. At least in the ways that count."
Annie squeezed his hand back to convey the subtext of what she meant, and Jeff seemed relaxed enough to get it now. To be certain, she added, "And no matter how far the people who care about them rise up, they would never really be a stranger to them. Not ever."
"Well, I guess that's the sort of thing you get on a second viewing," Jeff admitted. "We can have those a lot sooner, now that we're all caught up before Season Six. I mean, we're all going to watch it here every Sunday night, but I'm sure it'll be better the second time out. Maybe I could DVR the new episodes and…..you could come over and watch them again with me. To help prove me right and all."
"Would I be the only one helping you with that?" Annie checked.
"I don't need anyone but my best employee on this account," Jeff tried to speak in Don-talk.
"It sounds like a dream account indeed," Annie played along. "But that'll be for later. Our co-workers must be wondering why we're taking so long now."
"Yeah, we might as well calm them down. You turn your back on them for a second and they're running people's feet over with lawnmowers," Jeff quipped, grossing Annie out a bit more with that Mad Men memory. Regardless, he brushed that aside by standing up and preparing to open the door for Annie. "After you, Peggy," he offered.
"Thank you, Don," Annie warmly accepted as she headed for the door.
Maybe they weren't really like Don and Peggy – since it would completely ruin Mad Men if Don and Peggy were as close as Jeff and Annie. But Don and Peggy were fictional creatures of the past – and no matter how good the 60's looked on TV, at least superficially, the future was much better to Annie. In fact, life in 2013 actually looked brighter than ever these days, really.
Yet the more immediate future looked more troubling – given that Annie opened the door and the others were all but tearing themselves apart in their Mad Men debates.
Britta was still defending Betty and bashing everything else, with Shirley now getting the brunt of it, Pierce bragging about LSD, Troy looking traumatized from it and Abed trying to distract him with Don impressions – which seemed to be losing their appeal anyway. Nevertheless, the heated madness made Annie and Jeff both shut the door and keep taking refuse in the bathroom.
"Well, this is still better than the Breaking Bad marathon," Annie softened. "And Pierce doesn't think his brother got his face blown off this time."
"Give it five minutes," Jeff cracked. Then to pass the silence, he further quipped, "So….Rory Gilmore and Pete, eh?"
"One more word about that and I'm throwing you over to them," Annie warned.
"Sheesh, makes you long for a time when women weren't so mouthy," Jeff pretended to wish. But the fact he was now just pretending to wish for that did prove that times could change – at least outside of Sterling Cooper.
A/N 2: To clarify some references, Alexis Bledel – a.k.a. Rory Gilmore on Gilmore Girls, a likely favorite show of Annie's – was on Mad Men this year as a woman Pete cheated on Alison Brie's character with – which explains the Rory Gilmore refs and Annie's fury at them. And since Giancarlo Esposito played Gus on Breaking Bad and Pierce's half-brother on Community, it helps explains the Breaking Bad joke as well.
