My name is Dani Strider and I can't begin to explain to you how absolutely little I care about what you, or anyone, thinks. And I don't want to hear any shit about the 'fourth wall' okay? A chick as badass as me doesn't need a fourth fucking wall; this is a gog damn triangle house for all I care. Anyways, I suppose I should explain one other thing. This story stays between you and me, okay? I'm serious, dude. I am extending the hand of good faith here and if you slap it away like some rotten baloney sandwich, we are gonna have some serious shit. Okay? … Fuck it. I don't even give a damn. Let's just start off where I am right now, school.
I'm sitting in my honors Algebra 2 class not particularly giving a fuck about what's going on. No one else seems to give a damn either, this is basically the most boring and useless of all the classes. I lean my head back, and since I sit in the very back no one yells at me for slamming my head on their desk. My long almost-white blond ponytail swings back and forth slightly and my bangs sway away from my kickass shades. I hear two girls that sit next to me giggle and stare pointedly in my direction… I pretend not to notice, keeping a straight face like always. I get a lot of shit for looking like I do, especially from the girls. It's kinda ironic how a girl as cool as me is one of the most mocked girls in school. I don't really care if they make fun of me, really. Their opinions are worthless.
Then the guy next to me, I don't remember his name, taps me on the shoulder. He's a jock, I think. I narrow my eyes behind my sunglasses and look over at him. When I do his hand moves to snatch my glasses off my face. In a flash I have him gripped by the wrist, mercifully not snapping the bone. "Ouch! Mr. Shew! Dani is hurting me!" He yelps, shamelessly. You'd think a boy would be a bit more embarrassed about being hurt by a girl, but no, he's just another wimp.
"Ms. Strider." Mr. Shew sighs. "Detention again after school; let him go." He states calmly, because this is a normal occurrence. I say nothing and let his hand go, staring back up to the front without caring.
Dammit, Sis is gonna be pissed when I show up late. I groan internally, Sis is not exactly a happy camper when it comes to me getting in trouble at school. Even though she works two jobs she usually comes home to spar with me right when I get home…
When the bell rings I grab my red and black backpack off the ground and sling it over my shoulder. When I walk out of the door a group of girls turns around to glare at me, and then they start whispering. I almost smirk. How thoughtful of them, to stop and stare at how amazing I am. I roll my eyes and they can't even see it.
Thank gog it's lunchtime; I managed to snag lunch with all my friends, which is basically the best possible outcome. I walk into the commons, and find our usual table. It's covered in junk so I throw it away, no big deal. I toss my stuff on the table and sit myself down in a seat. I see my friend Rose walking with her girlfriend Kanaya, and I wave to them. They wave back to me with the hands that they aren't holding. Gog, I can't say that I'm surprise that they just blatantly hold hands like that, but I'm actually pretty surprised that they don't get more crap for it… oh, wait, Nevermind. You see, Rose is the princess of psychological fuckery, and she once made a girl burst into tears after she called Kanaya a 'fucking lesbo bitch' without blinking one of her magenta eyes. Kanaya, on the other hand, kills people with kindness. They both get their individual shit too, Rose is known as the Dark Witch because of her obsession with magic and grim dark books. Kanaya is known as the Vampire because she's pale, and she once bit a girl in middle school when she hit Rose in the face.
It should be said, I have some of the most badass friends you've ever met.
Rose and Kanaya sit next to each other as they get out the lunches they've made for each other… I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at that sweet gesture. Then John and Jade walk over, they're somehow loosely related… like 3rd cousins or some garbage like that. Jade has on a very subtle pair of black dog ears that blend in with her hair almost completely, I gave them to her on her birthday and I told her to wear them… for the ironies, of course.
And… Egbert… gog… Egbert is just too… innocent. I've never used that adjective for a guy, because they're just usually awful human beings… but Egbert… jegus, I barely even count Egbert as a male. Which, is why a lot of people consider him to be gay, despite his many attempts at speeches on his not being a homosexual. Pfft, I hate to be the yoai fangirl, but he'd be such a cute gay guy!
Anyways, I pull out my apple juice and my bag of nacho flavored Doritos and eat my lunch. Just as I was gonna chug down some juice a certain blind girl walks over to my table with the help of her guide dog. "Hey, what's up everyone?" She grins. "Is that the cool kid I smell?" I almost stiffen, Terezi and I are good friends. But… the smell thing always gets me, I mean; seriously, she swears she can smell people and that she can taste colors. Well, she does sometimes call me Miss Cherryberry Chapstick, and she swears that's what my shirt tastes like (I let her lick it, because what's more ironic than having a blind girl lick your favorite shirt?)
"Yo, sup Terezi?" I hold out my fist to the blind girl, and she pounds hers right against mine. She sits next to me and grins her sweet grin, red shades facing me like she can actually see me.
"Not much, Miss Cherryberry Chapstick, my government class was a wreck." She lets out a heavy sigh. "One of the jocks tried to hit me with my own cane." She wags her red dragon staff for good measure. "I caught it, of course, but it's annoying to be hated for a handicap." She pulls out three cherry airheads and a bottle of cherry fruit punch.
I clench a fist and begin to get up but she hooks my by the shoulder and shakes her head. I glare at her behind my sunglasses and begrudgingly eat a few Doritos.
"That's not exceptable, Terezi, You cannot allow them to go on this way. Perhaps we should ask a teacher for assistance?" Kanaya offers, currently munching on a homemade sandwich from Rose. "I'm sure Mr. Ross would assist you in apprehending those behemoths." She gestures towards his Global History classroom.
"If that doesn't work, you can always rely on me to tear them down psychologically, or possible I could put a 'curse' on them?" Rose says, her black lips curling up maniacally. She's referring to the time she sarcastically said to a girl 'I hope you fall down an extra long flight of stairs' and what do you know, she fell down the stairs in front of the school, and that is a shit load of fucking stairs.
John shudders. "Jegus, Rose, shut up with the grimdark spells and stuff. That is so not good, that stuff is really evil." He insists in his insipid little way of his.
Jade giggles. "Hey, what are friends for if they aren't willing to take a little bad karma for messing with voodoo?" She jokes, elbowing him in the ribs. She then has a straight face and looks over at Terezi. "But, seriously, we're here for you. Whenever you need it. I know I'm not really strong, or scary, but I'll always stand up for my friends!" She insists.
I feel my lips twitch upward at that. "Yeah, and if you need me to beat the crap out of someone, I'm free whenever." Everyone laughs at it, but they know I'm serious. I wouldn't let anything happen to my friends. Ever.
The bell rings right as I finish the last Dorito, I toss the bag into the trash and walk towards my study hall, I'm probably just gonna catch up on some Z's there, so I guess I'll talk to you after that… in detention… shit…
