This is just a really quick little one shot I wrote just for funsies, but it sort of turned a little angsty on me. Zuzu's got a lot of inner turmoil, and I just wanted to write something in which he's being really bothered about how crap his dad is and is having a crisis about it. Avatar belongs to people who are not me.
"Zuko, please..."
"Go to bed, Katara."
Zuko, as dramatic as he ever was, was standing at the edge of the water, his hands in his pockets, head bowed to the wind. His back was to her, but she knew what was on his face. Anguish, pain, and that god awful low sense of self worth he carried around with him wherever he went.
Katara didn't move. She stood behind him, her hands curled into fists.
"I'm not leaving," she said firmly, her braid snapping in the wind. Zuko's shoulders heaved.
"I'm not going to talk about it."
"I'm not asking you to talk about it."
Silence.
Katara inched her way closer to her friend, reaching out an arm. Her fingers hesitated at his shoulder, at the rippling fabric of his tunic, and she withdrew her hand. Katara crossed her arms and stepped up beside him.
"I just want you to stay with me," she finally said quietly, looking down at the ground. This seemed to confuse Zuko.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said roughly, looking at the same spot on the ground.
More silence.
Katara heard him hiss through his teeth, like he always did when he was really upset about something. She chanced a glance at him, and the sight of him so distraught nearly brought tears to her eyes. I want to help you. She remembered the feeling of his scar under her fingers, so smooth, like plastic.
"You aren't your father, you know," Katara offered in a soft voice. "You've always cared about other people. Even when you were on the wrong side." She paused. "You've always cared about me."
"What if that changes?" Zuko voiced his fear, his voice frail and raspy in the biting wind. "What if, when I become Fire Lord..."
"Zuko..." Katara whispered his name gently and took his hand, biting back the flutters that rose in her stomach from the touch of his calloused fingers against hers. "You're not going to change."
"I already have," he snapped, "I switched sides. I left behind everything, even people I cared about, people I loved..."
"Zuko." Katara pushed a piece of hair behind his ear and rested her head on his shoulder. "You have this really silly idea that you're not good enough. But do you know that every morning, before you wake up, Toph cleans up her stuff so you won't think she's messy? That Aang talks to me constantly about all the amazing new moves you've been teaching him? How Sokka will spend hours in front of the mirror, trying to make his hair stick up in the back like yours?" she ruffled his hair in that spot, and the faintest of smiles escaped Zuko's lips.
"And you?"
"Every morning at breakfast," Katara said, her head still against his shoulder, her hand rubbing small circles into his back, "I watch you laugh and joke with the people who used to be your enemies, I see you happy. I see you finally at peace with yourself, if only for a moment, and I think to myself, I love you, I love you, I love you."
Zuko's arms flung around her, and Katara let out a surprised yelp as he embraced her, his chin bearing down hard on the top of her head. His shoulders heaved again and he squeezed her harder, like she was the only good thing he had left, and he never wanted to let it go.
The words tumbled out of his mouth all jumbled, like they always did, but Zuko whispered a fervent "iloveyou"in her ear, and Katara felt the tears spill out of her eyes.
"So much," she promised him, and he nodded against her, a tear of his own dropping onto her forehead. You're mine, she thought as they held each other, you're mine and I'm going to heal you.
The wind slowed, but Katara and Zuko stayed, like they always did, waiting for the healing to finish.
So it's angsty but it's also kind of cute, and that's basically how I see Zutara. Angsty but also kind of cute. Thanks for reading! :)
