Title: Collide
Author: mavjade
Characters: Luke, Mara
Genre: Romance
Timeframe: Pre- Thrawn Dualogy
Disclaimer: Of course, Star Wars belongs to George Lucas, not me. The song Collide was done by Howie Day, who is also not me.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Coming awake with the dawn, Luke moved his arm to brush away whatever was tickling his nose, or at least he attempted to. There was a weight holding his arm as well as one of his legs down. Cracking an eye open, squinting against the morning light, Luke saw what his problem was; the tickling of his nose was caused by a strand of red-gold hair that was attached to one, Mara Jade. Her arm was slung over his chest, her head cradled on his shoulder and a leg was thrown over one of his. She seemed to be in a peaceful sleep, her features softened from the regular hard mask she hid behind. Luke loved to watch Mara sleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't a situation in which he often found himself.
In his sleepy haze, he wasn't exactly sure how they had ended up here.
Again.
The last time Luke found himself waking up practically wrapped around his friend, it hadn't turned out so well. That time they had been having a great time, the Jedi Master having had an uncharacteristic amount of Zairona Ale that Mara had picked up somewhere on her last mission with Karrde. That good time somehow wound up being too much of a good time and Luke awakened to a startled Mara Jade, who was grabbing the sheet to wrap around herself as she ran out of the room while gathering her clothes that were scattered throughout.
The next few times they saw each other it was awkward, a feeling they had not experienced around each other since Mara had held a blaster to his head and threatened to kill him.
As the previous night came back to him, he realized that this time there were completely different circumstances, but it appeared that the results were very similar. He hoped the aftermath wouldn't be the same.
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Mara had shown up very late on Yavin IV without notice, which was not all that unusual, but there was something strange about this visit. There was something bothering her, something Luke could feel from the moment she entered atmosphere. From the strength of her emotion, he figured the entire Academy could feel it. The students that knew of the illustrious Mara Jade kept their distance from the landing platforms. Those who did not know her, and were curious as to the new arrival, soon scattered after seeing her angry gait down the boarding ramp of her ship. Her face was set in a steely glare and her eyes looked as hard as the emerald they were in color.
Usually, even when she was angry she would stop and greet Luke even if was only a brief huff of a hello, but this time she just stormed on past and straight to Luke's quarters. Luke just barely managed to keep up with her swift stride, questioning her the entire way. Mara kept a cold silence, not even looking back as Luke begged her to answer.
He managed to catch up with her just in time to keep the door from closing right in his face. Mara was standing in the middle of the room with her back to him. She was very tense, which Luke could see clearly, her only movement being the slight rise and fall of her shoulders in time with her harsh breathing.
"Mara?" Luke asked quietly.
Even though Luke didn't think it was possible, her body stiffened even more at his words. She hadn't realized that Luke had caught up with her and was in the room; she thought she had at least a few moments to compose herself before he started in on the questions.
"Mara, what is it?" Luke continued.
She didn't dare answer for fear of what she might say, or what he might hear in her voice.
Luke placed a hand on her shoulder and stepped forward to stand right beside her. She shrugged his hand off and turned away from him.
"Leave me alone, Luke."
He was about to point out that she was in ihis/i quarters, but he figured she was there for a reason and he was not going to do anything that might push her away. Instead, he gave her a moment and then tried to face her again.
Mara finally allowed Luke to stand in front of her, his eyes begging her to tell him what was wrong. That was all it took; just one look from Luke and she was done trying to hide, trying to pretend like it didn't bother or hurt her.
She dropped her head as a few tears slowly ran down her face. She hated feeling like this and even more she hated for anyone to see it.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
This wasn't the first time he saw this uncharacteristic side of Mara, a side he was sure no one else ever saw: her pride ran too deep. But under all the bluff and posturing was a woman who had grown up in awful circumstances and had spent a long time suppressing the memories of the things she had done, and the things that had been done to her.
Usually when Mara was upset or angry, any type of comfort made her furious, turning her anger--which might have previously been directed at something else--on the person trying to comfort her. But at times like this, once you could get through her anger at herself for showing emotion, she was just like anyone else; she wanted to be comforted.
He pulled Mara toward him and engulfed her in a tight hug. He could feel her tears dampening his tunic but he didn't move. He would not pull away, he would hold her for as long as it took. One of his hands was slowly rubbing up and down her back, the other was on the back of her head, running his fingers through her hair. He knew better than to push her to tell him what was wrong; she would tell him, or she would not. If she decided to tell him, he would listen attentively and would not judge whatever she told him, but if it was something she wanted to keep to herself, to bury back in the depths from which it came, he would allow that as well. He would prefer she let it all out and talk about it, for he thought that would help her more in the long run, but he was too afraid to lose her trust if he suggested it. She trusted him just to be there for her, not to push her to talk about things she would rather forget.
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
She finally looked up from his shoulder after a few minutes, exhausted from her display of emotion, but thankful that she had someone who understood her and didn't push her. She looked into Luke's bright, blue eyes and saw compassion with a slight hint of fear, she saw understanding. He was there for her no matter what, no matter who she had been and who she was becoming. But the thing she saw hiding under all the other things she could see in his eyes was love. Not the platonic, best friend kind of love, but the 'I could spend the rest of my life with you and never want to let you go' kind of love. It frightened her as to what that meant, where those feelings came from. It frightened her that she might feel the same way.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
As Luke was gazing into Mara's emerald eyes, he saw her run though a myriad of emotions. He knew how he felt, but he knew nothing of Mara. His thumb reached up and wiped a stray tear from her face and smiled at her. To his surprise, she smiled back. She wasn't embarrassed or angry that he had seen her like this, if anything she was relieved.
Taking a chance he leaned in, closing his eyes and he placed a tentative kiss on Mara's lips. Not receiving a smack across his face, he figured she at least wasn't appalled by the idea and he began to deepen the kiss. This time, Mara's lips began to respond to his and they continued to slowly explore each others mouths. After a few moments, Luke started moving them towards the bed. Once they reached it, he gently pushed Mara onto it, but stopped to look her in the eyes to make sure she was still alright. What he saw made his heart flutter.
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
It was clear, this was what she wanted, Luke was what she wanted. The love and desire he felt he could see in her eyes, with just a hint of mischievousness. Whatever had brought her here in the first place, whatever awful thing had happened was gone from her mind. It wasn't permanently gone, he knew that it was still there laying low below the surface, but it could wait until they could deal with it, together.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
A smile played on Luke's lips as he remembered the night before, and he knew that this time was different. This wasn't a byproduct of too much ale, this was love. Mara trusted him enough to show him all sides of her, trusted him when she was at her most vulnerable. After all the dancing they had done around each other, they had finally found one another and this time it would be for good.
You finally find
You and I collide
-end
