The Last Left Standing

The night Serius died, Remus Lupin had fought his hardest. Fought to stay alive... fought to protect the other members of the Order and more importantly the children that had somehow ended up in that terrible place. It was always the most important thing; to fight and keep fighting. But he hadn't fought for Serius... hadn't thought, as the battle raged around him, that Serius would fall. The others perhaps... Tonks and Harry had won his concern... but not Serius Black. Not the man who had stood faithfully by his side for their seven years at Hogwarts. Not the man who had survived 12 years of Azkaban, two years on the run from the entire wizarding world. Not the man who had stood fast through all of the storms of both their childhood and their adult life. It seemed absurd to even think that he might fall. But he did, and Remus was left almost numb with the shock of it. Still, his duty overcame the numbness, and his body reacted to the situation almost before he realized he was restraining Harry from following Serius into the veil of death.

Things seemed to progress from there very quickly. Once Harry had broken free, and fled, and Dumbledore had come; Remus assisted the others of the Order without speaking any more than necessary - transporting the students back to the safety of their school... and then retreating with Alastor Moody and Tonks to number 12, Grimauld Place. There, he moved up the stairs to his room, ignoring the calls of Tonks and Moody. "Remus, are you alright?" she called after him, her voice full of concern and sadness. But he couldn't face them, and once he was in his room he let the door close behind him, their steps already on the stairs.

Finally, the fight was over, and he could allow himself to break. The grief hit him quite suddenly, like a hammer to his gut, and he collapsed against the wall, sinking to the floor by his bed with great sobs racking his body. The door creaked open slowly, tentatively, and Tonks appeared. The sound of a wooden leg told him that Moody was behind her in the hall. But within him, the wolf was raging, somehow strengthened by the power of the grief that was surging through him and he let out an almost inhuman wail from grief and physical pain as his skull began to pound. His sobs were still distinguishable amongst the animalistic wailing, but he turned his back on the other two, not wanting them to see him - not as the broken man and wolf that he tried so hard to hide from them.

Tonks stepped into the room, calling his name again softly, gently, and Moody thudded in behind her. Recognizing the symptoms he was showing, Moody knew better than to approach Remus like this. "Tonks," he said sharply, keeping his voice quiet so as not to upset Remus even more, since now he was snarling as well amid his sobs. "Tonks stay back. Let him be!" But she ignored him and drew nearer where Moody did not.

"Remus, it's alright," she said softly, now within a meter of his distraught form. He turned away from her, pressing himself further against the wall and bed, afraid for her and afraid of himself and overcome with emotion like he had not felt in years... not since Lily and James had died and left him, and then Peter... and then Serius... and then Serius had come back. And now, once again, he was entirely alone. The last left standing in this terrible, terrible world, and all he wanted was to crumble and let the darkness take him, because surely that was a better fate than living on forever in solitude. No one would ever love or trust him like Serius did. No one would ever understand.

"Remus," Tonks was close now - so close he could smell her scent... a pretty scent; warm.

"Go away!" he snarled. "Leave me be!"

"No," she replied gently. "I'm not going to leave you alone." And suddenly she was there next to him, her hand on his shoulder. He pulled back at first, but with nowhere to go but the wall he could not escape her touch. Moody tried to mutter another warning, but Tonks wasn't listening to him. Remus was terrified, for a moment, that he might attack her - that the beast that was stirring inside of him might harm the one person willing to come near him in this state. But already it was calming, and he could feel it sinking back into the restless sleep deep inside of him, tamed for the moment by her kindness.

She leaned forward, kneeling down on the floor next to him and taking him into her arms. He tensed for a moment, but then the last of his strength gave out and Remus felt himself falling into her, so weak. She let him lean on her, wrapping her arms protectively around him and rubbing his back soothingly as he sobbed, both of them sitting on the floor now. "Sh..." she said. "It's okay..." After a few moments he fell silent, shaking badly and crying silently, but no longer dangerous. Seeing this, Moody turned from the two of them and limped from the room.

"It's okay Remus... I'm here..." He felt a tiny bit of warmth in her words. Not enough, of course, to replace the dark hole now gaping wide in his heart. The hollowness... the empty place where his only remaining friend had filled only hours before. But enough, perhaps, to survive. He went suddenly quite still in her arms, and Tonks looked down at Remus, his eyes closed and his breathing deepening as he fell asleep. With a sigh she leaned back against the bed, letting him sleep. There had always been something about him that had drawn her attention - her pity - and of course she had known what he was but never really understood. And she wished she could have.

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END

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A/N: This story was just sort of a closure to what happened the night Serius died, and it sort of shows insight into the relationship between Remus and Tonks. Of course, after this he pushes her away and uses his excuses of "too old, too poor, and too dangerous,' but I'd like to believe that for a while after Serius's death he at least had someone to comfort him. So yes, this was my little one-shot. Please review if you liked it. If not, well, I suppose you can review as well - just try to be nice about it, okay? Let me know what you think, but don't burn me to a crisp. Thanks! Much appreciated!